Now Im Thinking About An Au Where Kay/o Has A Horrible Terrible No Good Bad Day Because For Some Mysterious

now im thinking about an au where kay/o has a horrible terrible no good bad day because for some mysterious plot reason he gets blasted with a ✨become a human✨ ray and he's like.

what.

you turned me into a human.

and whoever was responsible for it is like,,,, ahaha,,, uh,,,,

(they do not mention how his heart and blood glow very faintly)

so he's like 'how am i supposed to use my gear now' and makes a throwing knife motion, and the zero/point knife appears and thunks solidly into the floor and suppresses everyone in the room and he stares at it for a solid 20 seconds, and then he's like

you turned me into a RADIANT

anyway he has a small crisis and at some point considers engaging his destroyed-body backup routine to restore the last saved backup of... himself? kay/o? before... this. happened. and destroying the... biological form. because it's not meant to be like that. it's not right. it's not. he can't be.

he doesn't end up doing it but he does spend a lot of time looking very forlorn and lost

more excitingly, he gets to experience scent and taste for the first time EVER because he didn't have any form of olfactory sensors as a robot. he tries everyone's comfort foods. he learns to cook while he can scent things. he hangs out in the garden for a while. he has fancy tea and coffee and hot chocolate.

he pets the fluffy blankets the other agents swear by just to see what they're all on about. he does some exercise and is rather perplexed yet unsurprised by how his legs burn when he runs his usual distance. he burns his hands a few times because he forgets he isn't immune to temperatures. he spends really long in the shower wondering why it feels especially soothing, when it's just warm water.

there is a short discussion with reyna about whether killing him and, if possible, repeating the humanizing process would create a soul. they do not explore this. he does not want to die.

neon gets to be the bigger friend for once (not literally he is still as tall as ever) and help him acclimatize to the whole human thing while killjoy is making a reversal solution, and probably struggling a bit because 10/10 'become a human' is definitely some whackadoodle borderline magic thing

he has a very awkward talk with sova, who he trusts to tell him awkward things

omen pushes a huge sweater into his hands that he'd been working on for a while but never really had the opportunity to give. this is nice, as he'd been going around in some of brim's bigger wardrobe pieces like flimsy crop tops. he also gives him a plushie. he's very confused by this but appreciates it, and absolutely cannot stop petting it absentmindedly if he's got it nearby.