Some Pen Sketches Of Shota 🥰

Ig I should post my art somEWhERE

Enjoy art of my current muse ~ Tomura Shigaraki ~

[Don't ask why]

he has what i have fr

(bonus infodumping🫶)

016. CARNATIONS

The first month Touya spent without you didn't feel real. He felt like a kid waiting by the door for you to come back every night. And with every day that passed, your absence was a cruel jackhammer into his heart that reminded him you weren't coming, no matter how much he wanted you to. His mind felt like it had been unplugged, a dull melancholy beating in place of it instead.

He spends a lot of his time thinking about you. Touya knows how much people can change in so little time. So, he wonders what will have changed about you when he sees you again. It's like a fairytale playing out in his mind whenever he thinks of you—because all he can see is himself flying through these next few months and straight into your arms. He's not afraid of forgetting the sound of your laughter or the way your eyes crinkle when you smile, because those very things were permanently etched into his soul. You were a tattoo kiss that couldn't be erased, serving as a silent reminder of what he was fighting so hard for.

His mind is a broken record player that only shows him moments in time with you—moments where he had felt true happiness for the first time in his life. He'd wake up with his heart beating fast and his eyes stinging like they'd been washed with the hottest of spices.

The second month is when the chilling realization that Touya got you fired finally settles in. He never really thought past the fact that you didn't have a job here at the hospital anymore—he chose to stay blissfully ignorant rather than thinking too hard about it. He felt the guilt bubbling and burning in his chest, how had he not been more worried about your well being? Truly, Touya was stupefied. Why hadn't you expressed even a shred of anger towards him? Just a few sharp words would be fine, Touya wouldn't mind at all. Because it would make sense. You were jobless, thanks to him.

And it's not like you'd been fired from just any job, it's not like Touya's father had placed him in just any hospital. This hospital laid in Japan's most beautiful lands, on acres of endless greenery. It was the best institution for hundreds of miles in every direction.

Touya can't help but go down the rabbit hole in his mind, crawling deeper and deeper into the infinite number of possibilities your kindness made. And Touya was unfamiliar with being around people who didn't have ulterior motives, so much so that he had trouble simply understanding that maybe you not getting mad at him was just a show of humanity. Something he wasn't familiar with.

The third month is when Touya is handed a calendar. The numbers and months are all scripted in cursive, spanning multiple pages that felt like the softest silk between his fingers. After flipping through the calendar, Touya decides he wants to hang it on the wall. Your gel pen hangs loosely from Touya's lips as he bites down on the end of it, his hands working to carefully pin his calendar to the wall. Gradually, the boxes fill up with red marks crossing out each one of them. There's still a great number of pages to go, but Touya's release day is regarded with a small smiley face he drew.

The fourth month is when Touya has his first nightmare since you left.

He went to bed that night as he always did. He did his nightly routine of washing up and combing through his hair until it was a fluffy cloud atop his head. He stared at his slowly healing scars in the mirror for at least fifteen minutes before changing into his night clothes and settling down to write his letter of the day to you. Some days, his letters would span pages—stray papers would be strewn all over his bed as he tried to organize his thoughts. And other nights, he'd only write down a sentence or two before folding up his letter and filing it away. All the letters he wrote were kept in a small box Akari gave Touya to keep near his bed. Touya has a feeling you'll be proud of how much his handwriting has improved when you read his letters.

His nightmare was unexpected. It was dark and heavy in a way that made it feel like his lungs were collapsing and someone was stepping on his throat. He woke up the moment it became too much for his heart to handle, sitting straight up in his bed with a strangled gasp as his hand moved to clutch his night shirt—trying to ease his breathing.

A bead of sweat rolled down the side of his face, and Touya's tongue darts out to wet his dried lips before he glances at the emergency button beside his bed. He's not completely sure if he's having some sort of a heart attack, but his throat is closing up, and he feels terribly dizzy. He swings a leg over the edge of his bed, cradling his head in his hands as his eyes squeeze close.

But, he'll be fine. Because he remembers your breathing exercises. Like clockwork, Touya breaths in and out—he counts and he thinks about his senses; what he feels, hears, smells—and then his erratic heart slows to a calmer melody. After that, Touya is able to lay back down, though shivering, and go back to sleep. It takes him a bit of time, but his head feels like its been stuffed with cotton. Soon enough, his pale lashes are fluttering close.

Dabi would have broken down. Dabi wouldn't have gone back to bed, he would've stalked out of whatever shitty hideout he was camping in and find something to burn. Maybe an abandoned car lot so he could melt the cars that sat stationary and forgotten‚ because melting metal looked like liquid gold sometimes. An illusion of a drug all in its own, destruction had been Touya's escape at one point.

But now, Touya sleeps like a baby in his room—with a trickle of drool running down his chin as he snores quietly. His bed head was a mess, too—but despite it all, he resembles an angel that had regrown its own wings. Touya has shed Dabi in the same manner a snake sheds to reveal the new layer of skin beneath, untouched and pure.

The fifth month is warm. Touya walks in the recreational garden a lot more as the sun begins to shine more, and his cactus has been growing a lot, too. Touya feels stronger—not physically, though he is proud his body isn't anywhere near as weak as it had once been. Mentally, his head had ceased its constant screaming. It was like all the noise had come to a screeching halt. And although he doesn't know what change there was in his chemistry that made him feel this way, he's grateful. Every day is a day closer to you—every breathing second a second closer to the home he knew.

The sixth month is when Touya starts getting emotional. He's so close—he can almost hear your voice calling out his name. He daydreams about you constantly, wondering how hard he's going to hug you once he sees you again. Tonight is one of those nights where Touya pours his heart and soul into his letter. He only had a few more days left until he'd see you again. The doctors had run multiple tests and evaluations on him, and he'd exceeded their expectations. Just like he promised you he would.

Touya's eyes squint when he realizes his words weren't forming on the page in front of him—before realizing his pen had run out of ink again.

He fights the urge to let his eyes close as he quickly caps the old pen and tries reaching for another one—but his hand misses the pencil case twice. His eyelids were heavy with sleep—blurry too, and he couldn't even manage to grab another pen for himself. Touya didn't even hear Akari enter his room—all he felt was a gentle pair of frail hands helping him stand. His legs felt like jelly, and he regarded the older woman with squinted eyes.

" 'm not a baby, Akari." Touya mutters as he gently removes Akari's hand from him. His voice is hoarse, and Akari laughs lightly at the sight of Touya's sleepy smile. If she didn't know better, she'd say he was drunk. Simply put, he was acting silly. But he was just high off of the prospect of seeing your face again.

"Let's get you to bed, Touya." Akari responds softly as Touya nods groggily. He's about a foot away from the bed when he speaks up, the worlds tumbling from his lips in something close to a whine. He was delirious from lack of sleep, but even then—he was only thinking of one thing.

"I miss my Y/n,"

Akari mutters a quiet oh dear when Touya suddenly loses all his will to stand. Touya crumples against her completely, his larger frame moving sluggishly as his head fell with a quiet exhale. Akari lets out a started yelp before carefully helping Touya lower himself onto the bed. His words were slurred with sleep, and it was clear that he hadn't gotten enough rest these past few days.

"She's waiting for me out there. I...I really can't wait to see her," Touya admits breathlessly, and Akari hums as she pulls his blanket over him. Touya doesn't move an inch, resorting to staring up at the ceiling above him as he presses the back of his forearm against his forehead.

"Night, Akari. Get some sleep, yeah?" Touya yawns, finally rolling over to get comfortable in bed as he presses his cheek against his pillow. Akari rises from her chair, gently patting Touya's shoulder as she bids him goodnight. Touya keeps an eye on Akari until he can confirm she's safely left the room before finally allowing his eyes to close, succumbing to his fatigue as he falls asleep.

Touya feels like a little kid all over again. He felt like he could face the world and come out on top—and it was an incredible feeling. He hadn't felt this type of hope in a long time, but you inspired something youthful in him—rekindling a flame deep inside he thought had been put out so many years ago.

CARNATIONS MASTERLIST.

a/n; everyone say thank you taylor swift. carnations would not be a thing without her, this girl got me through every chapter 😭 i can't write a single word unless she's playing...i think i'm crazy...💔 alsoo touya is so in love in makes me fawking sick. OH btw, y/n cried cause she missed his b-day after getting fired. but this guy was giggling in his room while writing u love letters because he literally forgot it was his birthday and was just minding his own business completely unaware until akari brought him a cupcake. anywho we are getting close to the end of carnations... i can feel it 🥲 i'm still not sure how i feel about this chapter. hmph.

tags!

@kawaiidemoneart @porusuniverse @starrmage @lilbeatlebear @bokukenmakuroo

@summercreolefanfictioner @dija200 @phtmmsqrde @sunaraii

@c-lunette @gh0stgirl333 @skullkittens @gurl-pls-evn-the-sharks-fear-me

@hawkwithsocks @suresnips @sugurusmoon @matchablossomsss @moonlitmorganite

@redr0sewrites @muimuiwisteria @sukunaspillow @starsryi

@eidolonwriter @dabislittlemouse @rueclfer @kelin-is-writing

@shugs1801 @imaginationmess

@lasa27 @sophiathefrog @etaerealboy @kooromin @sourbbyxo

@hvnares @ephmeraloblivion @lost-seraphiim @quokka-ina @jesuschrist2006

@stoned-anime-babe @qatiee @shadowsingers-redhood @alycat171

@21-princess

@xileonaaaa @rylerboi @blurryperrtymoonlight @mrcleans4headwrinkle @accidentpronedork

@exquisitenesss @miniatureempathknightpony @afterlife11

Chapter 258 - Friends

Well shit…

maybe cld u do like not an smau but yk how u made like insta/twitter profiles for all the bnha characters cld u maybeee do smth like that and then like headcanons for what they wld post etccc. 🫨

.ᐟ bnha tweets

a/n: two gummies deep and ts is way too funny to me but i digress i hope this was okayyyy anon

m.list

& I will be cheering him on

top 10 sex positions that will leave naught but ash in your wake

hellos and goodbyes

012. CARNATIONS

Friday morning came all the same—and the pending sadness you believed to come with the sunrise never did. Yes, it was your last day here at the Todoroki household. But knowing you and Touya would be going back to the hospital together was reassuring enough to soothe all your nerves.

The majority of breakfast was filled with secret smiles passed between you and Touya. His eyes were always wandering—always trailing back to you. And the sensation of his heated gaze alone made your head feel like it had been stuffed to the brim with cotton.

The Todorokis didn't notice anything off between you and Touya—he was always close by when you were near, but he seemed to be a little more clinger than usual.

But you were Touya's anchor. You grounded him. You made him feel safe, wanted, loved—so many emotions he wasn't used to having. It was overwhelming, all these new emotions. But he welcomed the tidal wave of feelings in with open arms. He would drown in this emotion if he could. He's not sure if there's a name for it, but Touya had become entirely dependent on you.

You didn't notice this—but every chance Touya got, he kept some part of his body touching yours. It could just be his shoulder bumping gently against yours, or his pinky grazing your knee under the table—any little touch would work to that keep that insatiable craving of his fed.

Touya ability to feel was... odd. He either felt something with every fiber of his being, or he felt nothing at all. His love was fierce, a forest fire all in its own. It was consuming, it was something that spread until it dominated everything.

Touya loved like he hated, with a burning passion.

Just hearing your name was enough to make Touya raise his head and tune into whatever conversation was going on. Actually hearing your voice had an entirely different effect on him—because suddenly, his pupils are dilating and he can't hear a single sound besides the words leaving your lips—and Touya has to physically fight the urge to press his fingers against the column of your throat just so he can feel the vibrations of your voice box as you speak

His family's goodbye was bittersweet. But even though Touya was leaving—this was not goodbye forever.

Touya was getting better day by day. His physical and mental wounds were being healed by your sparkling eyes and doting hands, and he's surrendering all he was and ever will be to you.

This past week had been heaven on earth for Touya. As he got into the backseat of the van with you, he was already looking forward to working more on writing his letters to Shoto back at the hospital. You'd help him like always—because you're the best. You're the best doctor, friend, and companion he could ask for—you're the best everything.

The drive back is peaceful. Most of the roads are empty due to how early in the day it is, but Touya doesn't mind it at all. It gives him a greater view of Japan's scenery outside. The rolling green hills and the snow coated branches of trees creates a whimsical view for him to quietly appreciate and admire.

You're asleep with your head resting on Touya's shoulder, and he has his cheek smushed against the side of your head. He keeps one hand intertwined with yours, and he uses his other hand to keep his fingertips pressed against your pulse point—the reassuring beating of your heart is a calming melody.

The drive is a little over an hour, but he's back within the familiar hospital walls soon enough.

While walking down the hallway with you, Touya was practically glued to your side. The pristine walls and floors of the hospital made him a little uneasy sometimes, but he was looking forward to returning to his little room soon enough.

You're telling Touya about how there's going to be a storm tomorrow, and how you'd just gotten a statewide notification on your phone. He's nodding his head along to your words—before his eyes catch on another patient’s door that's been left ajar.

Every patient had identical rooms. They all had the tall wooden doors and silver handles for their entrance and bathroom. Each room had a hospital bed, a side table, a TV, a small coffee table with two chairs, and a pull out bed.

But as Touya's eyes looked over to take in this patient's room, he couldn't help but notice how much more different it was from his own.

There were no paper snowflakes hanging from the windows. There were no colorful pens scattered over tables and pages of unfinished letters strewn across the room. There were no board games, no uno cards scattered all over the bed. There wasn't a single sign of life in there besides the half empty coffee mug sitting on the edge of the patient's bedside table.

There was no you, he decided.

Touya's quiet the rest of the way to his room.

Touya didn't believe in luck or fate, those invisible forces didn't feel like they applied to someone like him. They were saved for ordinary people—people like you who deserved good things.

But what else could explain your presence in his life? He certainly didn't deserve you, Touya was sure of that. He didn't deserve anything after the war. He nearly lost his family, but he didn't. He nearly lost an arm, but he didn't. He nearly lost his life, but he didn't.

But you weren't a product of fate or luck—no, meeting you was some sort of a divine intervention.

Touya, you deserve to be happy too.

He remembers when you had uttered those words to him one night when his thoughts had trailed too far again, and he had scoffed at you then. He snapped at you, telling you to go away because you clearly don't see how he doesn't deserve shit.

He winces at the unwanted memory. Those were the earlier days when he was still warming up to you, and he'll forever regret taking his misdirected hurt out on you, of all people. But even after he acted out and behaved like a total brat, you still loved him. You had seen the ugliest parts of Touya, seen him at his worst, seen him at his absolute lowest—and you were still here. Right by his side, just like you'd promised.

Maybe he does deserve you. And for once, he doesn't feel selfish for the thought. Touya can love too—he can be kind and he can be gentle. He knows his depraved sense of humor somehow manages to make you laugh, he knows the spot right under your ear is weak and ticklish for his kisses, and he knows you love him.

Touya doesn't even notice the two of you have finally reached his room until he accidentally walks right into your back. A small sound of surprise leaves your lips before you smile. He blinks himself out of his daze before stretching his lips into that handsome smile that never failed to make your heart skip a beat.

Wordlessly, Touya tugs you through the door. He never thought this hospital room would become something he'd miss—but he recognizes the space he had grown into and come to love. Yes, this was a room filled with memories he never wanted to forget. Countless nights he'd spent laughing till his stomach hurt with you, and even more nights where he spilled his heart's darkest secrets to you.

And suddenly, Touya realizes it was a room that felt more like home than the Todoroki household ever did.

Touya's hug is unusually tight. He bundles you up in his arms and cradles the back of your head to his chest, his arms wound tight around your form. You can sense he's overwhelmed by something he can't voice—so you do what you're best at.

Your hands move up and down the length of his back, rubbing big and comforting circles. His lips are slow as they meet yours, and his blunt fingertips dip gentle crescent moons into your skin as he holds your face

"I love you," He whispers, his voice hoarse and cracking with emotion. You're cooing softly as you help him into bed, whispering affirmations into his ear that have him practically collapsing in your arms. He's being babied—Touya knows he is.

But God, it felt good to finally feel like he was worth something.

You didn't leave Touya's room until you could absolutely confirm he had drifted into dreamland. Touya fell asleep smiling, and the sight was so precious that you almost didn't want to leave.

You sink your teeth into your bottom lip gently, chewing on it as you board the elevator towards the end of the hall. You hit the down button, fingers curling around the strap of your bag as you tap your foot against the ground idly.

The metals doors slide open with ease after a few moments, the gentle ding! sounding through the small space, indicating you had arrived onto the ground floor.

But the sight you're met with on the other side of the door makes you want to drag the metal doors close with your bare hands and slam the up button as hard as you can—

And suddenly, your hands feel clammy and your mouth goes dry as your supervisor tugs you along with clouded eyes—her mouth is set into a firm line, and your colleagues flutter around you nervously. All of their faces are twisted with an emotion you don't understand—and your heart positively drops to the floor when you're pulled into a meeting room with Enji Todoroki sitting at the front.

Enji's shoulders are squared, and he's hunched forward just the slightest bit as his gaze narrows in on you. Someone's telling you to sit down—but you can't breathe. Your chest physically hurts as your supervisor leads you to a chair as gently as she can manage—her usual hard gaze is broken, completely shattered and revealing the unspoken sadness beneath

And you finally realize. They know—because Enji is suddenly tossing a handful of blurry photographs onto the table. He's yelling loudly at someone, his tone rough and demanding attention. But you can't meet his gaze, and your eyes are burning like he's lit them on fire himself.

Because those are pictures of you and Touya kissing. Those are pictures of you and Touya holding hands. Those are pictures of you and Touya murmuring lowly to each other with your foreheads pressed together.

The photographs are grainy—they were obviously taken at night, and it looked like they were taken through a God damn window. It sounds like someone is yelling at Enji for spying, but you can't find the strength to try and organize the chaos around you

This wasn't supposed to happen. You promised yourself nothing like this would happen.

"She clearly isn't suitable enough to decide when I can visit my son. The nerve this woman has to say she may never allow me to see him again is ridiculous. He is my son, and she clearly isn't a good doctor if she has relations like this with him."

He grills you down with that forever present scowl, and the tears brimming in your eyes are traitorous as they roll down your cheeks silently

Enji did all of this because he wanted to see Touya sooner. He spied on you to find something to use against you. And he had just unknowingly ruined your entire career.

People who can swim in their money and power are careless when it comes to people who are nowhere near as privileged. They don't understand how delicate some situations are—and how power and money can't solve every problem. A muscle in Enji's jaw ticks when your supervisor's trembling voice speaks up—telling him that you'll be removed immediately from Touya's care.

"Fired? No, no that's not what I need. What I need is for another doctor to reevaluate Touya's condition and understand that he is ready to see me. I know I was an unexpected visitor the last time I came, but—"

Your supervisor cuts him off sharply

"You have presented us with photo evidence of Y/n breaking company policy. It doesn't matter what your goal was from all of this, because now we have no choice but to fire her. You blew up and sent these to the hospital's board and all the higher ups before speaking to us about the situation directly. They're erasing all of her files as we speak."

Something in Enji's hard gaze falters at her words

"In your email to the board, you described the situation as if Y/n took advantage of Touya's mental state. You made her look like—like a monster. And she was the best thing to happen to your son." She spat, words calculated and cruel as she glares at Enji with nothing but hatred simmering in her gaze

The cries you had been trying so desperately to hold back finally escape, and a strangled sob leaves your lips. The broken sound tears through the air like a knife. Enji blinks as if he doesn't understand a single word that leaves your supervisor's lips before his eyes harden again

"I don't want her fired—"

"But that's what's going to happen! What else could you expect?" She explodes, tears of frustration in her eyes as she grips the back of your chair with trembling fingers

You've worked under this woman for years. She was a constant in your work life–and she'd helped you become a wonderful doctor over time. But this one slip up—one that could've been controlled if Enji hadn't intervened—would mean the end of your time here.

And Enji knows you were the only doctor Touya was willing to cooperate with. The only one he would even listen to.

"Did you know we had to add another month to Touya's rehabilitation plan when Y/n took one sick day? He behaved absolutely terribly in those few hours. He went backwards in terms of progress. And now, Y/n will not be allowed to treat him ever again. Do you understand what you've done?"

And reality finally slaps Enji in the face. Hard. Because his entire demeanor deflates in a second as his face falls

He finally glances at you, and you're an absolute wreck.

You're tugging at your hair, your lips are quivering as you struggle to stay quiet and keep your emotions in check. Even though it didn't matter if you started wailing at the top of your lungs—you had already lost your job, there was no need to try and compose yourself now. But you remain ever professional, stifling your cries as much as you can as your chin wobbles.

Someone's rubbing your back in an attempt to soothe you, and Enji takes a step away from you like he's been physically struck

You had just failed Touya. You failed him.

He was sleeping blissfuly unaware a few floors up, oblivious to the fact that your carelessness was going to destroy everything you had worked so hard on building

Touya's heart is fragile. He was going to break.

Touya needs you like an artist needs their muse. Touya needs you like a dancer needs their music. Being separated from you would be like tearing a flower out of the ground—he would just wilt and waste away until there was nothing left.

CARNATIONS MASTERLIST.

a/n; i know a lot of people talk about touya's eyes but wow...they really are so beautiful. like, they are other worldly. i'm rewatching clips of him and oh my goshh he is my muse forever and ever idfc how many new interests i get over the years. no one can come close to the place he has in my heart. 🥺

tags-

@kawaiidemoneart @porusuniverse @starrmage @lilbeatlebear @bokukenmakuroo

@summercreolefanfictioner @dija200 @phtmmsqrde @sunaraii

@c-lunette @gh0stgirl333 @skullkittens @gurl-pls-evn-the-sharks-fear-me

@hawkwithsocks @suresnips @sugurusmoon @matchablossomsss @moonlitmorganite

@redr0sewrites @muimuiwisteria @sukunaspillow @starsryi

@eidolonwriter @dabislittlemouse @rueclfer @kelin-is-writing

@shugs1801 @imaginationmess

@lasa27 @sophiathefrog @etaerealboy @kooromin @sourbbyxo

@hvnares @ephmeraloblivion @lost-seraphiim @quokka-ina @jesuschrist2006

@stoned-anime-babe @qatiee @shadowsingers-redhood @alycat171

@21-princess

@xileonaaaa @rylerboi @blurryperrtymoonlight @mrcleans4headwrinkle @accidentpronedork

@exquisitenesss @miniatureempathknightpony @afterlife11