People Underestimate How Much It Fucks You Up To Be Subtly Excluded As A Kid. I Would Try To Talk To

People underestimate how much it fucks you up to be subtly excluded as a kid. I would try to talk to my classmates and be met with disinterest or annoyance. The one friend I had, who I clung to and nodded along to his every word, had other friends he liked just as much or more. And his other friends didn’t care for me at all.

I look back at pictures from the time and see how separated I was from them. I remember knowing I was different. I remember posing questions about the world to the girls playing next to me and realizing that they had never asked the same ones to themselves. That the ways we thought couldn’t be more different.

I kept myself amused with my own fanatical stories and musings in my head. I would wander the playground on a circular path, imagining a friend and being sorely disappointed when it didn’t feel as real as I’d hoped.

There was a bubble separating me from everyone else, thin, and nearly invisible, but with a pearly sheen you could catch under the right conditions. I knew it was there, they knew it was there, and it changed me

More Posts from Mysticallamasong and Others

mysticallamasong

1 year ago

I will not water myself down to make me more digestible for you. You can choke, quote edited by @wedarkacademia

46K notes View Post

mysticallamasong

1 year ago

Welcome To Finals Week… Main Goal? Focus And Do Your Best, It’s You Against The World.

welcome to finals week… main goal? focus and do your best, it’s you against the world.

473 notes View Post

mysticallamasong

2 years ago

A medieval drawing of a sun and moon with frowning human faces, in gold on a blue background

sun and moon, france, 15th century

2K notes View Post

mysticallamasong

2 years ago

what is your eye color. what is your favorite color. what is the color that appears most frequently in your wardrobe. what color is your favorite blanket. what color is your water bottle.

Tags

purple green redblue dark brown white/light brown

162K notes View Post

mysticallamasong

1 year ago

The fourth little pig built his house out of wolf skulls. It wasn’t very sturdy, but it sent a message.

32K notes View Post

mysticallamasong

7 months ago

I kinda wanna be the girl who does things. Like she goes to class, she studies, she does research, she volunteers, she exercises, she cooks, she consumes media, she's INFINITELY POWERFUL-

19 notes View Post

mysticallamasong

2 years ago

i don't want to be smart, i want to be brilliant

Tags

books dark academia light academia passion academic validation stem academia stdyblr thirst for knowledge

21 notes View Post

mysticallamasong

2 years ago

tw: burnout vent

ahaha does anyone else find it funny when your family tells everyone about how much you like to read and base everything off of books you loved when you were in middle school so you feel obligated to read so you read like 72 books within the span of three months during the summer before 8th grade and now you're a sophomore in high school and have only brought yourself to read like ten books since then bc you burned yourself out so hard that you lost a literal part of you? cause i think its super funny.

Tags

im in the exact same situation right now

42 notes View Post

mysticallamasong

1 year ago

"My Family and Other Animals" - Gerald Durrell

Tags

reading books nature☁️ literature academia biology wilde life the garden of the gods gerald durrell my family and other animals birds beasts and relatives corfu i read this book this summer while i was on corfu knowing i was on the very island the story took place made reading it so much fun

10 notes View Post

mysticallamasong

1 year ago

Learn to love reading and research I promise you’ll never be bored again

16K notes View Post