God Ugh I Wish I Wasn’t So Fucking Ugly

stupid stupid. i don’t know why im feeling so upset about this i think its just because for the first time in my life boys are being nice to me and of course im mistaking them being just friendly people with attraction. and so of course it hurts

If covid hadn't happened I would've had a foursome by now

Getting married has been something I’ve always wanted and simultaneously knew I would never have. I’m not the easiest person to deal with. I’m particular as shit, ornery and I like my space, my independence, my solitude. But at the same time- well. Everyone wants to love. To know and say they have a family that loves them. And my birth family might’ve said they loved me. They certainly loved their daughter. 

It turned out they didn’t love how she insisted she was their son. 

You know how that kind of thing goes. It really doesn’t have too much to do with this story except giving me a complex about belonging to a family that wanted me for myself.

When I saw the ad on Craigslist, I was looking for used furniture. Scrolled too fast, accidentally opened up domestic gigs. The first listing caught my eye.

“Wanted: Compassionate man to marry our recently deceased daughter.”

The initial click was just out of morbid interest.

It read, simply enough, “Our daughter wanted to be married and we want to keep our promise to her that she would be. She has passed away, and we are seeking a kind and compassionate man to engage in a quiet, non-legally binding ceremony and become our in-law. 

“This is not a joke and we are in bereavement. Please keep this in mind when considering your reply.”

It got taken down within the next five minutes, either by the family or moderation, but I’d already texted the number provided.

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Going on vacation as a vegan with a bunch of non-vegans can be so frustrating bc they all pick the restaurants and I have to make whatever half cooked veggies they have work and then they’re all like man I’m so full and I go back to the hotel room and eat the snacks I brought

was worrying about the future but then i remembered i can just kill myself whenevr it gets too hard 🙏 life is good

Exterior, Hillary Clinton’s doorstep, 3AM

Kamala Harris, looking her version of disheveled and unhinged (which is to say she’s still in the same immaculate suit from her speech earlier in the day but she’s lost her high heels, has exactly five hairs out of place, and there is a discreet smear of Dorito dust on her fingertips): I’m sorry, I just didn’t know where else to go.

Hillary, in a cozy bathrobe, but perfectly made up and coiffed: Honey, I’ve been waiting for you to show up since they called Pennsylvania. (Hands Kamala a margarita and ushers her inside.)

stupid i wish i was hot

In King Ludwig II’s defense, if I had basically infinite discretionary funds, was accountable to absolutely no one, and was king of a country full of picturesque landscapes, you couldn’t stop me from building myself a big gay fairytale castle on a mountaintop either.

feel so gross and doughy

I am becoming really fond of Kidnapfam 2.0 (Celegorm & Elured & Elurin) Because In my mind, its like the opposite of actual kidnap fam. Maglor and Maedhros kidnap Elrond and Elros and they become a family, while Elured and Elurin force Celegorm to be their dad.

They kidnapped him