The Flying Pirates Are Hardcore

Dread it… run from it… destiny arrives all the same. Or rather, lesbians, bird people, and pirates. The series kinda just grabbed onto me out of seemingly nowhere at the beginning of March. Resisted the urge at first as a whole lot of series have disappointed me but, man, this fits all the niches for me. Great female protagonist, lost civilization tropes, pirates, galactic politics, galaxy threatening parasites. I honestly don’t know why I didn’t dive in sooner. To speak about the learning Chozo bit, it’s a slow process for me. Spring break is coming up, so I might take that opportunity to expedite the process then.

Mostly, however, I’m gonna share some more token details from my Metroid AU. Granted, I may be jumping the gun, as I haven’t gotten an opportunity to actually play a Metroid game, so perhaps I’m not the best gal to write a story on the matter. But the world building is fun. Without further ado, I will now proceed to rant about actual tidbits from the AU.

1. Ala the manga, Samus does have a slight telepathic bond between her two Chozo blood donors, Grey Voice and Raven Beak. However, due to hardly ever seeing Raven Beak, she does not recognize him. He appears in dreams though, in which she describes him as “the man with the broken face”. Yes, I’m going with his beak being a prosthetic. In any case, in the rare few times Samus dreams of this man with the broken face, he simply tells her to come find him. With time, however, Samus writes the dreams off as just that, dreams.

2. Ridley’s moniker of The Cunning God of Death is taken to another level. While he is well aware that he has no supernatural power or dominion, he styles himself as a god. In his speeches to his underlings, he proclaims the masses they will slaughter as “the mortals”, with his personal kill squad being known as The Revenants. His propensity to survive the unsurvivable helps cement this image in both the eyes of the pirates he controls, and the enemies who hear tales of his crimes.

3. While this may be controversial, the whole term of Space Pirates will be vastly expanded upon. As opposed to one great monolith of a faction, there will be many factions and sub factions jockeying for power in the lawless regions of space. Ridley and (upon the invasion of Zebes) Mother Brain’s faction are known as the Glaxamore. Additionally, membership into these various Space Pirate factions is not particularly restricted by race. There are a great many human and elfan pirates, in Glaxamore and beyond. One such human pirate will be a ship captain in the fleet surrounding Zebes, post invasion.

4. Back during Samus’s teenage years on Zebes, she and Old Bird would play pranks on Grey Voice. One such instance that I am itching to write, if for no other reason than my own entertainment, is when the snuck an Iono Feria (peaceful creature, once again, from the Manga), into Grey Voice’s personal study in the middle of the night, much to his fright and frustration when he woke up the next morning.

5. To speak more about Samus in particular, I wanted to dip more into the character-at-rest portion of her personality. While she is still a loner, she does make use of that time to improve herself beyond her ability to fight and survive. For one thing, she meditates. She tries a variety of different techniques, both human and Chozo, in order to commune with nature. This pursuit was one Old Bird passed onto her. Another thing she inherited from the Chozo is an accent! Samus and the Chozo speak English with a very distinct accent, which is slightly comparable to Greek or Spanish. I may pitch in some voice acting to show what I mean at some point, but not yet. Lastly, in addition to power suit and zero suit, another staple of her wardrobe is a Chozo poncho, with ornate patterning and a very earthy color palette. She often wears it during meditation sessions or when she simply wants to chill.

And that will be all for now. If you guys are interested in hearing more tidbits of this AU, I would be happy to post more. For now, however, I will leave it at this.

And part 5 to cap things off! I had a lot of fun with these. It’s always great to flesh out things I haven’t given too much thought to before, as well as sharing the things I’ve mulled over for a while. Truly, this has been an awarding effort. I am posting these a night early as I have a fairly busy day tomorrow, so I’m not sure if I’ll have the energy to remember about posting this then. Without further ado, the final set of entries.

Day 29: Neo

Scan of Contained Bioform

“Subject is of the same unknown species as Ridley. However, other than the marked similarities in morphology, there are significant differences between it and the late pirate commander. Fat levels exceed all of Ridley’s previous appearances, and his skin’s color is a more colorful shade of indigo. His eyes also have vertical slit pupils, unlike Ridley’s own eyes. The lack of scars and grafted weapons is also in stark contrast to Ridley’s stories history. All things considered, this is not Ridley.”

Day 30: Victor

Scan of Defeated Mother Brain

“Life signature of Mother Brain indicates several areas of tissue damage. Blood clots and hemorrhaging has already begun to occur. Death is 100% certain. Fluctuations in brain activity are causing random activations in equipment due to interfacing equipment interpreting various power spikes as neuronal action potentials. Such aberrant activity will surely cause catastrophic failures in multiple systems. Immediate departure is advised.”

Day 31: Mission Complete

Mission Debrief Report: Zebes

“Mission completed. Metroid cloning facility on Zebes has been eliminated. However, 2 Space Pirate Research Frigates by the titles of Siriacus and Orpheon has escaped. Several Metroids were captive aboard the Orpheon during its departure for distribution to Pirate cells across Federation controlled space. Recommend efforts be made to track it down before cloning operations can be restarted.

Total confirmed enemy losses: 285 footsoldiers, 1 adult Kridilian, 4 Space Pirate Interceptors, 2 Revenant elite units, 1 Space Pirate Research Frigate, ‘Mother Brain’ ACI central unit, Commander Ridley.

Cleanup teams requested to eliminate remaining Space Pirate presence on and around Zebes.

Personal Notes: Zebes isn’t their’s. Zebes belonged to the last of the Chozo. Please treat it with dignity.”

Maytroid 2024 is here!

I am so excited to get to work on these new prompts. Last year, my entries for each day were fairly sloppy, and I was new to the series, so I was lacking a fair bit of information. Now, I’m armed with more knowledge and am eager to use it.

For those who haven’t seen what I did for Maytroid last year, what I’m going to be doing instead of art is something more writing focused. These little text entries are mostly styled after the scans from the Metroid Prime series. Matter of fact, this new set of prompts actually lends itself much better than last year’s, as I have a lot more leeway to play to my own strengths than last year (I still don’t know what the fuck I’m gonna do with Gorea). These are all canon to my own Metroid AU currently, though as things change in development, these may become out of date. They will give the vibe my stories are going for, but these shouldn’t be held to as the absolute canon for them. I’ll be posting these week by week, around 7 at a time, starting today.

Day 1: Ridley

Transcript of Security Footage

Several individuals in this footage cannot be identified at this time. They shall be identified as Pirate 1, Pirate 2, and Pirate Major.

Ridley: What I want to know… is why he is not in custody.

Pirate Major: I gave them their orders, they knew he was to be brought in alive, and instead they killed him.

Pirate 1: You told us to take care of him! We thought you meant an execution, not milk and cookies!

Pirate Major: Insolent Wretch! You say such things about your orders in front of our Commander?! You know how we handle that sort of insubordination!

Pirate 2: Cool it, we’re already in hot water.

Pirate 1: We’re in hot water because of the life of some winy little nobody that begged for his life with money he didn’t even have.

Ridley: While your insolence is… aggravating… I am willing to forgive this misstep.

Pirate Major: What?

Ridley: He was an insignificant pawn. We can always find another. As I was saying, I am willing to forgive this on one condition. Did he die in pain?

Pirate 2: Yes. He did suffer before he died.

Ridley: What methods or torture did you employ?

Pirate 1: Waterboarding. Works wonders on humans. I always liked how they sound when they cough and gasp for air.

Ridley:Mmmmm… was blood shed before his end?

Pirate 2: Yeah. My partner here has… quite the way with knives.

Ridley: Do tell.

Pirate 1: Slashed his wrists. Those arteries gush lots of blood from humans. And we started pulling teeth when he lied.

Ridley: Delicious. You have escaped capital punishment, but you will still be serving as guards for the Metroid containment units. For further forgiveness, you will need to be more creative with your implements. I find Revine’s death, by your account, to be quite dull. Your are dismissed, unless you wish to enlighten me further.

Day 2: Fiery

Scan of Pipe System in Norfair

“These pipes appear be delivering superheated magma into the Norfair region. Given the proximity to Ridley’s personal quarters, likely explanations include terraforming the area for Ridley’s own comfortability, additional protective measures, or the intentional destruction of Chozo artifacts not deemed useful. The latter is most likely, as the immediate area was once a Chozo burial tomb. It is now completely submerged in magma, disintegrating much of the artifacts within.”

Day 3: Winged

Scan of SA-X Mutations

“This X-Parasite copy has suffered some form of destabilization of its copying abilities. Abnormalities include a malformed, beak like structure around the mouth, several atrophied fingers, several hypertrophied fingers, small patches of feathers, and an extraneous structure protruding from its back resembling a Chozo wing bereft of feathers. These unusual deformities could be the result of DNA infusions during childhood complicating the process of anatomical replication within X-Parasite offspring. This individual seems to suffer great stress from its predicament, but it is unsafe to assume that its combat functionality is greatly hampered. Adaptation is this species’s main trait.”

Day 4: Pirate

Scan of Space Pirate Elite

“Subject is a member of an unknown species known only from individuals working within Ridley’s special operations group, The Revenants. This group acts as Ridley’s personal enforcers and assassins, fanatically worshipping their commander as a literal God of Death. They wield melee weapons personalized to their unique fighting styles. Each weapon is charged with electricity, giving them an additional ranged attack capability. They have operated since before the Galactic Federation, making a name for themselves in fighting Chozo warriors. Their endurance, agility, and strength cannot be overstated, in spite of their gaunt appearance.”

Day 5: Mecha

Scan of automaton codenamed Mecha Ridley

“Subject is a battle ready drone, seemingly created by Ridley’s fanatical special forces, the Revenants. Mecha Ridley is heavily weaponized, as there could be no altar to the God of Death without the ability to take a life. Weapons include flamethrowers, guided munition launchers, and superheated claws. Mecha Ridley’s armor is highly durable, but greatly hampers mobility compared to its inspiration. Additionally, as a cult idol of worship, advanced artificial intelligence was not prioritized during production. Mecha Ridley displays average combat intellect for a war drone. Recommend staying moving and outsmarting the automaton.”

Day 6: Fang

Scan of Rundas’s Necklace

“Rundas appears to have begun collecting Metroid Fangs as trophies since last he was approached. Assuming one fang was taken from each Metroid he has eliminated, he has defeated 15 Metroids in the two months since he was last seen. Unfortunately, his ego has grown with his kill count.”

Day 7: Cunning

Scan of Abandoned Home

“Old Bird and Grey Voice’s abandoned home has been left mostly in tact, minus the usual signs of neglect. However, there appear to be a plethora of traps lain around the home. Various grapple snares have been detected, alongside explosive charges, beam emitters, and microphones. Much of these systems appear to be inert, and once reported directly to Mother Brain. It is clear she anticipated you might return here before confronting her. Given her destruction, several trap systems remain completely dormant. Still, any approach must be made with great caution.”

Imagine, if you will, a nice looking creature. Perhaps one might even call it cute.

Now give it a set of large fangs for locking onto hapless prey. Quite a change of pace. Make it impervious to glancing strikes and give it the speed to dodge anything substantial. Give it the ability to soar through the air to anyone foolish enough to get near. Give it the ability to end a life in as many seconds as you have fingers on your hand. Quite a nasty creature, now.

You are now picturing a Metroid, yes?

Wrong

What you are picturing is The Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Ya know, we see lots of art of Samus and Doomguy doing cool action hero stuff together and whatnot, but we never see people talk about them bonding over their pet rabbits! We need that!

Maytroid… sort… part 2!

To recap, since I forgot to add the tags when I initially posted the first installment, I’m doing a different sort of twist on Maytroid. As opposed to art for this prompt, I am writing some snippets that might be data than Samus would scan on her various missions. While some of these are subject to change in the process of fully writing the story, these are canon for where the story is at at this current juncture. Without further ado, time for part 2.

Day 6: Queen Metroid

Intel on Planet Designation SR-388

Planet SR-388 appears to have an active Metroid population. However, the circumstances surrounding this population are unusual. SR-388 atmosphere is highly turbulent, and has had an active super-tornado that engulfs large swathes of the planet for the entire seven months that the planet has been catalogued. All life of the planet is largely relegated to the planet’s abundant cave networks, with cross network migration only occurring in the times when weather is conducive to survival on the surface. The Metroid population on SR-388 is localized in a cave network only recently opened up by particularly destructive weather patterns. Life scans in the inside show an estimated 640 Metroid specimens. There is also signs of a much larger creature in this cave network, emitting a frequency that can be detected by our drones within low orbit. The strength of this creature to produce such a powerful frequency must be immense, just as with its durability to live within a Metroid infested habitat. It is believed that SR-388 is the home planet of the Metroids, and that they were brought off world either by the Glaxamore Pirates, or another piratical faction before falling into their hands. Given the pirates’ vested interest in the Metroid species, it has been deemed critical that the infestation be eradicated for the safety of the galaxy and the surrounding ecosystems on the planet.

Day 7: Gorea

Incoming transmission

“Your world seems small. A single oxygen atom in an endless ocean. Your bonds are unbreakable but to those willing to confront you down at the level you exist in, tearing your kin from you personally. I can offer, with the last breath of my existence in this reality something more. Become a ship and sail upon this endless sea. Forge destiny for yourself, bend oceans to your will, find that which you desire most. If you have the strength to overcome, find that which remains of me. Make something of my last gasp, and gain power, The Power. Your technology can lead you to the world where this mission begins.”

Day 8: Nightmare

GFS Chainmail computer scan

We are still unaware of the origins of subject MF-1. While it was found on planet SR-121, MF-1’s cellular structure is carbon based, while the native life on SR-121 is silicon based, meaning this creature is likely not native to the planet. No wreckage of ships, other similar individuals, or signs of civilization were found on SR-121 in subsequent expeditions, leading to the subject being quarantined aboard the GFS Chainmail. MF-1’s body is largely composed metal alloys, with parts being subsequently added from surrounding metal by an unknown process. Further testing is required on understanding the process and extent of this capability. The only known method of preventing this siphoning of metal materials is through exposure to temperatures below -40° Celsius. Until safe and effective testing can be performed, MF-1 is to be kept in stasis chamber C at a temperature of -55° Celsius.

Day 9: Phantoon

Vol Paragom computer scan

Our partnership with Mother Brain is already beginning to bear fruit. Through her own research and experimentation, we have managed to seize a Phantoon creature from the Galaxy’s deep core. Their ability to subsist off of expelled energy from Black Holes and Space Ship power cores alike has long since fascinated us, and to have a specimen of our own to study is a true delight. The currently held subject is dubbed PH-3, and will be undergoing rigorous testing to bring it under our own control. If we can have a sentinel that will drain power from enemy ships while leaving our own untouched, we will have an unbeatable advantage.

Day 10: Kanden

Galactic Federation Report

The individual known as Kanden applied for a Bounty Hunting License in 2503 FF, and raised various concerns from the get-go. Independent fact checkers have found evidence that Kanden was a lab experiment gone wrong. While born an Enoema, he was experimented on by his own government, likely without consent, in order to create a perfect weapon in order for the race to stand completely independent in an increasingly war torn galaxy. However, upon his first field deployment, Kanden was able to cut a swath of destruction through Enoema leadership, leaving the race defenseless and uncoordinated as the Glaxamore pirates descended upon them in a genocidal campaign. These experiences have left Kanden with a variety of psychological disorders. In spite of, or perhaps due to this tragic past, Kanden has since taken multiple jobs for Glaxamore, appearing to not choose sides within the current conflict. However, it has been decided that he is more valuable with the Federation, rather than demonized entirely.

Day 11: Diggernaut

Incomplete Chozo script

“Our harvesting of the planet’s resources has gone well. Due to the secluded nature”-illegible-“to wildlife has been successfully prevented. Our machines have been given the intelligence to and compassion to immediately cease mining if any wildlife will be put in risk by”-illegible- “will be”- illegible-“planet”-illegible-“field has been working to an acceptable extent. Our settlement has been spared the destruction of the storm, but is still occasionally battered by harsh winds that make work and travel impractical.”-illegible

Day 12: Raven Beak

Diary Entry

Dear Diary,

I had another dream about the man with the broken face. Once again, he just stared at me, as judging every aspect of my soul. His beak still hasn’t healed after all of these years, nor has it deteriorated. I know it’s just a nightmare, but it has Old Bird and Gray Voice very shaken up. Gray Voice even put training on hold for a day. That is NOT normal. I wonder if this is simply a thing related to growing up, maybe some sort of hormonal imbalance caused by the gene splicing. That could possibly explain some of it. Though Old Bird has gone to Bright Tallon for hours, which might mean my imbalance is more spiritual. Hopefully, things will return to normal soon, even if I am breaking bones again.

Might not be what you’re looking for, but I do have some ideas for a sort of rework of Butcher based off of some theories I had back during season 4. They won’t really be doing anything besides sitting my brain otherwise, so I might as well get them down. Writing more real world military style fiction is not my cup of tea.

1) At the closing of the war, Butcher was dispatched to the Arctic to track down Nova 6 (not Nebula 5, which feels like the writers lazy attempt to one up Black Ops). This makes him in charge of the British forces aboard the trapped ship housing the Nova 6 rockets at the end of Project Nova.

2) After all is said and done, Butcher still has a fire in him that a peaceful life just can’t put out. Following this desire to stay in action at all times leads him to becoming a Mercenary.

3) The Caldera island from Warzone is not real. Perhaps there was a resort island with military facilities on it, perhaps there was not. But it makes a good story to tell at a bar table. He’ll tell a different story at every bar, add a little flavor to each retelling. Sometimes there’s a secret society on that island, sometimes there were nerve gas distilleries there, sometimes there are hidden treasure troves, sometimes there are creatures science has yet to comprehend. Sometimes he will even tell with a straight face that he encountered time travelers. It all just depends on his mood and the books he’s read in the past few months.

Waiting on someone to start posting Vanguard Headcanons like:

Just a sound design concept for Raven Beak’s Hyper Beam I whipped up in CapCut.

I felt the sound of his primary weapon didn’t fit the sheer power its visuals evoked. To that end, I used the buildup noise of the BFG 10,000 from Doom Eternal plus the firing sound of the Focus Rifle from Halo Reach, pitched down to evoke a massive beam. I love the trail off of the Focus Rifle, and it fits the Hyper Beam so damn good.

It occurs to me now that I can simply reblog this with each week’s update, so I think this will be a good way to go forward. If anyone has any better way to link this back to the other updates, lemme know. Anyways, week 2, here we go!

Day 8: Menace

Confession of Captured Revenant Pirate

“There is no hope for this world. You have been chosen. Kill me, release me, or keep me, it does not matter. The God of Death will descend upon this world, and bring with him our beautiful ends on his violet wings of destruction. His gift to us is the beauty of annihilation, and our swan song will be the cries of pain and the begging for mercy. Blood shall soak the land, decay shall fill the air, and fire shall paint the sky. He has died before, and come back once again. He is the beyond and the end. His promise is simple: Death to Everything. And we shall bask in its glory.”

Day 9: Meta

Scan of Space Pirate log

“Transfer of Commander Ridley has been successful. Smuggling operations, codifying his pseudo-corpse as Geoform-187, successfully transferred him to Frigate Orpheon for resuscitation and enhancements. While the metamorphosis was painful, it was completed to great success, and with equally great haste. One behavioral oddity following his awakening has been an uncharacteristic obsession with his murderer, the Bounty Hunter known as Samus Aran. His obsession with her has bordered on all consuming. While combat simulations targeting her are understandable, the latest advent of troops undergoing mandatory training on human torture techniques has shaken our confidence in his current leadership capabilities. Still, we expect this boiling rage to be reduced to a simmer over time. How long this change shall take remains to be seen.”

Day 10: Armor

Metroid Durability testing log

“This series of tests is to discern the limits of the outer casing around a Metroid. For the sake of testing accuracy and preventing longterm damage reflecting in subsequent experiments, each test has been conducted on a separate specimen. A maximum of five projectiles will be used in each test unless effects of projectiles are detectable.

Test 1: 9mm bullet

Result: No effect detectable. A mild shimmer across the gelatinous surface of the Metroid as each projectile bounced harmlessly off the outer shell. Metroid is healthy and appears to merely be confused by the impact.

Test 2: High Velocity Sniper Round

Result: No effect detectable. The outer layer appears to have rippled from the impacts, but no damage was suffered. Metroid is irritated by the impacts, though not in any serious pain that we can discern.

Test 3: Low Power Plasma Bolt

Result: Mild damage sustained. The area where the bolts made contact appeared to glow for a time from the transferred heat, but damage was reversed within 8 hours. Metroid appeared in pain from impacts. Tests on a further 2 subjects resulted in death from approximately 24 more shots.

Test 4: High Power Plasma Bolt

Result: Serious damage sustained. The area where the bolts made contact glowed, with numerous fissures visible in the membrane. Metroid appeared to be in pain from impacts and subsequent burning effects. Damage was reversed over the course of 26 hours. Tests on a further 2 subjects resulted in death from approximately 9 more shots.

Test 5: Troop grade missile system

Result: Serious damage sustained. Immediate damage and discoloration was less serious than energy based weapons, but compounding attacks lead to rapidly increasing damage. Damage was reversed over the course of 8 hours. Tests on a further 2 subjects resulted in death from 1 and 2 additional missiles respectively.

Test 6: Emplacement grade missile system

Result: Immediate destruction. Metroid was blown apart by detonation. While the efficacy of such an attack against a Metroid is real, the viability of such munitions against a small and agile target is low.

Day 11: Talon

The Edict of Ashkar Behek

“Between your own to hands, you created life in a form this galaxy has never seen. You nurtured it and allowed it to prosper, named it the Ultimate Warrior. However, when this novel form of life sought not to be controlled, you betrayed the values of your Hasana, and of the Chozo. You denounced your creation, sealed it away, and intended to destroy this world and all life upon it, to rid the world of what you birthed. Though your intentions were pure, this is a crime the Chozo will not tolerate. The sentence for you, Golden Claw, is death.”

Day 12: Fierce

Scan of Bioform Kraid

“Given the passage of several years, it was guaranteed that Kraid’s size would increase drastically since the initial invasion of Zebes. His species, the Kridilians, are used by Glaxamore forces as sentinels for important locations during sieges. They are transported in their juvenile stage of life, where they take up much less space. Once on site, they eat any bio forms they come across to accumulate mass as quickly as possible. As an adult, their legs become vestigial structures, reducing movement greatly. Kraid, himself, has been outfitted with various weapons on a rig grafted to his back, in addition to the various biological defenses native to his species. Perhaps most notably, Kridilians gain sentience once they reach adulthood. Kraid is likely to have an exemplary tactical intellect.”

Day 13: Omega

Scan of Pirate Security Log

“Subject 42, codified as Omega Pirate, has been transferred to the Phazon Mine sector known as The Grid, where the bleed through of Phazon through the Chozo shield occurs. While Omega Pirate has been cooperative and forthcoming in all tests and procedures, there are some of us who have our own suspicions about how much of his intellect he is withholding. On numerous occasions, he has been seen looking into the shield as if staring through it. As he does, he has been witnessed gesturing and nodding as if holding a conversation with an entity on the other side of the barrier. While some have dismissed this as Phazon mental degradation and have even celebrated its minimal effects on Omega Pirate, I have silent suspicions that his long staring sessions with the barrier are only the tip of the iceberg.”

Day 14: Relentless

Orders from Commander Ridley

“Tallon IV is now to be put on lockdown. Any vessels entering or leaving Tallon IV’s orbit are to be immediately destroyed. Curfews are to be in place for all non-combat personnel. Any unauthorized access to facilities or systems is to be reported immediately. Ration and payment rewards shall be given to any individual providing information leading to The Hunter’s capture. Capture of The Hunter is preferable to destruction. Any individuals who unnecessarily terminate The Hunter will face summary execution.”

Maytroid 2024 is here!

I am so excited to get to work on these new prompts. Last year, my entries for each day were fairly sloppy, and I was new to the series, so I was lacking a fair bit of information. Now, I’m armed with more knowledge and am eager to use it.

For those who haven’t seen what I did for Maytroid last year, what I’m going to be doing instead of art is something more writing focused. These little text entries are mostly styled after the scans from the Metroid Prime series. Matter of fact, this new set of prompts actually lends itself much better than last year’s, as I have a lot more leeway to play to my own strengths than last year (I still don’t know what the fuck I’m gonna do with Gorea). These are all canon to my own Metroid AU currently, though as things change in development, these may become out of date. They will give the vibe my stories are going for, but these shouldn’t be held to as the absolute canon for them. I’ll be posting these week by week, around 7 at a time, starting today.

Day 1: Ridley

Transcript of Security Footage

Several individuals in this footage cannot be identified at this time. They shall be identified as Pirate 1, Pirate 2, and Pirate Major.

Ridley: What I want to know… is why he is not in custody.

Pirate Major: I gave them their orders, they knew he was to be brought in alive, and instead they killed him.

Pirate 1: You told us to take care of him! We thought you meant an execution, not milk and cookies!

Pirate Major: Insolent Wretch! You say such things about your orders in front of our Commander?! You know how we handle that sort of insubordination!

Pirate 2: Cool it, we’re already in hot water.

Pirate 1: We’re in hot water because of the life of some winy little nobody that begged for his life with money he didn’t even have.

Ridley: While your insolence is… aggravating… I am willing to forgive this misstep.

Pirate Major: What?

Ridley: He was an insignificant pawn. We can always find another. As I was saying, I am willing to forgive this on one condition. Did he die in pain?

Pirate 2: Yes. He did suffer before he died.

Ridley: What methods or torture did you employ?

Pirate 1: Waterboarding. Works wonders on humans. I always liked how they sound when they cough and gasp for air.

Ridley:Mmmmm… was blood shed before his end?

Pirate 2: Yeah. My partner here has… quite the way with knives.

Ridley: Do tell.

Pirate 1: Slashed his wrists. Those arteries gush lots of blood from humans. And we started pulling teeth when he lied.

Ridley: Delicious. You have escaped capital punishment, but you will still be serving as guards for the Metroid containment units. For further forgiveness, you will need to be more creative with your implements. I find Revine’s death, by your account, to be quite dull. Your are dismissed, unless you wish to enlighten me further.

Day 2: Fiery

Scan of Pipe System in Norfair

“These pipes appear be delivering superheated magma into the Norfair region. Given the proximity to Ridley’s personal quarters, likely explanations include terraforming the area for Ridley’s own comfortability, additional protective measures, or the intentional destruction of Chozo artifacts not deemed useful. The latter is most likely, as the immediate area was once a Chozo burial tomb. It is now completely submerged in magma, disintegrating much of the artifacts within.”

Day 3: Winged

Scan of SA-X Mutations

“This X-Parasite copy has suffered some form of destabilization of its copying abilities. Abnormalities include a malformed, beak like structure around the mouth, several atrophied fingers, several hypertrophied fingers, small patches of feathers, and an extraneous structure protruding from its back resembling a Chozo wing bereft of feathers. These unusual deformities could be the result of DNA infusions during childhood complicating the process of anatomical replication within X-Parasite offspring. This individual seems to suffer great stress from its predicament, but it is unsafe to assume that its combat functionality is greatly hampered. Adaptation is this species’s main trait.”

Day 4: Pirate

Scan of Space Pirate Elite

“Subject is a member of an unknown species known only from individuals working within Ridley’s special operations group, The Revenants. This group acts as Ridley’s personal enforcers and assassins, fanatically worshipping their commander as a literal God of Death. They wield melee weapons personalized to their unique fighting styles. Each weapon is charged with electricity, giving them an additional ranged attack capability. They have operated since before the Galactic Federation, making a name for themselves in fighting Chozo warriors. Their endurance, agility, and strength cannot be overstated, in spite of their gaunt appearance.”

Day 5: Mecha

Scan of automaton codenamed Mecha Ridley

“Subject is a battle ready drone, seemingly created by Ridley’s fanatical special forces, the Revenants. Mecha Ridley is heavily weaponized, as there could be no altar to the God of Death without the ability to take a life. Weapons include flamethrowers, guided munition launchers, and superheated claws. Mecha Ridley’s armor is highly durable, but greatly hampers mobility compared to its inspiration. Additionally, as a cult idol of worship, advanced artificial intelligence was not prioritized during production. Mecha Ridley displays average combat intellect for a war drone. Recommend staying moving and outsmarting the automaton.”

Day 6: Fang

Scan of Rundas’s Necklace

“Rundas appears to have begun collecting Metroid Fangs as trophies since last he was approached. Assuming one fang was taken from each Metroid he has eliminated, he has defeated 15 Metroids in the two months since he was last seen. Unfortunately, his ego has grown with his kill count.”

Day 7: Cunning

Scan of Abandoned Home

“Old Bird and Grey Voice’s abandoned home has been left mostly in tact, minus the usual signs of neglect. However, there appear to be a plethora of traps lain around the home. Various grapple snares have been detected, alongside explosive charges, beam emitters, and microphones. Much of these systems appear to be inert, and once reported directly to Mother Brain. It is clear she anticipated you might return here before confronting her. Given her destruction, several trap systems remain completely dormant. Still, any approach must be made with great caution.”

Was looking for some cool Metroid fan projects and

THERE AIN’T NO FUCKING WAY-