We Need To Start Teaching Baby Fags That It's Okay To Be Fat And/or Old Because It's Really Starting

Some of the main points I see used against aromantic and asexual people are narratives that go like:

You can't know you're aromantic or asexual if you've never tried dating or having sex. (Translation: you should date someone you aren't attracted to and have sex with someone you aren't attracted to just to be sure you aren't attracted to them).

You can't be asexual or aromantic if you've dated and had sex. (Translation: the actions of dating someone and sleeping with someone can only ever be motivated by attraction, directly opposing what was demanded in the first point.)

If you date or have sex with someone despite not being attracted to them then you are manipulative and deceiving your partner. (Translation: dating/sleeping with someone without attraction as a motivation is inherently Bad and Evil)

And like, I've come across people who believe all three points at once without seeing the hypocrisy of it all.

Anyways, you don't need to try out all possibilities in order to figure out your orientation. Most people don't go around demanding that straight people sleep with and date the same gender before being allowed to call themselves straight, and yet they'll demand that of aspec people without hesitation. At the same time, there's nothing wrong with trying stuff out. While certain actions can be motivated by attraction, they don't always have to be. People have sex without being attracted to each other all the time, for all sorts of reasons. There's nothing inherently wrong with that, and it doesn't necessarily determine your sexuality either.

And I think the last opinion comes from a) people's tendency to tie attraction to a bunch of other feelings that just sum up to caring about someone, and then translate the absence of attraction into the absence of even liking a person and b) the tendency to see romantic attraction as the highest emotion one can have for someone and seeing any other feelings as inherently lesser, therefore making such a relationship "unbalanced". And with the way most people view aromanticism it's very easy for them to jump to the conclusion that the aro person is obviously being dishonest and just using their allo partner for their own evil little plans. It's all bullshit and I wish people would realize how easily these arguments fall apart when looking at them critically.

Oh! Apparently transandrophobes are now being very mask off with the fact that they are the same community as truscum/transmeds, 2019 exclus, and every other "grrr other queer people" group!

I wasn't able to reply this in another post, for god knows what reason, but anyway I want to have it as a separate post. So.

I'm ftm, I'm from the global south, etc. I know what the transmasc struggles are - you will find I lived through them, I keep living through them. I was sent to offbrand conversion therapy, got told that clearly I'm just a confused girl who looks too much like a child and so that's why I'm identifying as a man (?). I am not going to be talking about all that. That's the deep lore.

What I am going to be talking about is how fucking meaningless the arguments against transandrophobia theory keep getting on this website. I cannot keep logging on and seeing people argue semantics (while not understanding a single thing they're saying) to define our experiences out of existence. I cannot keep logging on and seeing fucking USAmericans, because it's always one of y'all, who live in a sort of comfort I will never, ever get to experience or even see, try to tell me that somehow I have more power than any of them, because of how a fucking word is structured.

You are not arguing in good faith and I will not treat you like you are.

alert alert a trans man expressed enjoyment in being a man for a moment and didn’t feel sorry about it y’all gotta do something about it how dare he say “men are cool” without stating he knows oppression and patriarchy exists and he’s sorry before that

fellow white trans people, please read White Tears/Brown Scars: How White Feminism Betrays Women of Color by Ruby Hamad

I actually really hate how the "just call me a slur" joke went from being a critique of rainbow capitalism and faux inclusionism to being a way to make fun of nonbinary and aspec ppl literally just. having language.

"Joyfriend? Queerplatonic? Erm.. literally just call me a slur XD" shut the fuck upppp goddamn

"Trans men aren't targeted by anti trans rhetoric and law."

Trumps executive order to ban gender affirming care mainly fearmongers about trans boys not being able to give birth or breast feed and calls transitional surgery "female genital mutilation".

When we say we are invisible, it's not that we are invisible to the people who hate us. It's that our struggles are invisible to the people who should be advocating for us.

I apologize if this comes off as hostile or combative, tone isn't my strong suit, especially over text.

I'm not saying there aren't some incredibly transandrophobic trans women on tumblr- we wouldn't be having this discourse issue if there weren't.

And I'm sorry that you experienced that on discord. I had something similar happen on a server I was in, and I ended up having to leave as well. Anyone who runs a server has a responsibility to prevent bullying and bigotry against its members, and the owner of that server should be ashamed for letting things get that bad and excluding other trans people like that.

However, I strongly believe that we shouldn't try to argue for the existence of a trend or correlation between certain username themes/kinks and being transandrophobic.

These usernames and kinks are just popular with trans women in general. Many of the worst transandrophobic bloggers are trans women. Therefore there will be transandrophobic bloggers with those usernames and those kinks.

I worry that attempting to draw parallels here could do more harm than good, and make people wary of unrelated parties.

Not trying to discount your experience here! And I promise I don't think you're saying this is a 100% correct identifier for transandrophobes or anything like that, I don't want to take your post in bad faith. I just think we should be cautious, that's all.

what are the trends? what are the username trends for transandrophobic posters? any specifics?

Typically [animal][girl][slang term for penis]

(Mandatory disclaimer for those lacking reading comprehension - As implied with the term "trend," this is not 100% an identifyer for transandrophobic trans women.)

I go to school board & city council meetings regarding trans rights, and something I noticed is that almost every single transfem student who has gone up to defend their right to use the women's lockers & bathrooms has reported being sexually assaulted in school, often multiple times, by cis men & boys.

And yet, what is taken more seriously is the single cisgender girl who went up to speak about her discomfort with trans girls in the lockers & bathrooms. Not danger. Not harm. Not trauma. Discomfort.

The cisgender girl spoke about how she was not comfortable, wheras the transgender girls spoke of how they were not safe. I am somehow supposed to believe these are of equal severity? Eat a fucking brick.

a lot of stuff that is transandrophobic is really similar to butchphobia

do not forget this in your conversations about anti masculinity in queer spaces.