WAIT "iykyk" Means "if You Know You Know"??????? I Thought It Was Just The New Cool Kids Way To Keysmash

we're not doing enough with the fun fact that venti knows how to near-perfectly imitate zhongli's signature.

top 3 places to bleed out:

1. the snow

2. your lover/best friend/homoerotic comrade’s arms

3. bathroom floor

having depression makes your friends seem like the coolest most put together people on earth like wow... you got out of bed, had breakfast, went to work, AND spent some time on a hobby when you got home....? that's so impressive you're like superman or something. can i borrow your power.

What if Fyodor was in an asylum and Nikolai used magic to turn into a sparrow so he could visit him during his outside time and keep him from being bored.

He puts on shows for him.

my mum just called "scrolling on Tumblr" "scrumbling"

In the animal kingdom, humans are viewed like witches/warlocks: they MIGHT help you benevolently in your time of need, or they might eat you alive, or they might save you but keep you forever. So you know just how serious things are when they say to you, "Go get a human."

headcanon that Bruce is worried about his kids who don’t live with them and who he no longer gives an allowance to. Specifically Dick and Jason. But they’re too proud and “self-sufficient” to ever accept any money Bruce tries to give them,,,,,, so Bruce gets . . . creative.

jason: *walking through his apartment* Jason: *grabs Jane Austen book* *five hundred dollars spills onto his lap from inside the book* Jason: Jason: what the fuck, Bruce

Dick: *tired af* Dick: *pours himself the sugariest cereal in his cabinet* *a check labeled “for the dentist you will obviously need* Dick: Dick: I’ll deal with this once I’ve had coffee

Jason: *putting on a show for a few watching criminals* get outta the Alley, Bat! Bruce: I need information first, Hood. Jason: *internally thinking “this is not part of the script!”* what d’ya want? Bruce: the locations of Penguin’s goons. Jason: *rattles off locations, assuming Bruce just wants to draw out the act* Bruce: *nods solemnly and hands him four hundred dollars* for your trouble *disappears* Jason: Jason: *mutters under his breath* I swear to god Dick: *walking down the street* a little boy: hey mister!!! Dick: uh—hello? Are you okay, kid? What’s up? Boy: some dude in a really fancy suit asked me t’ give you this! *hands him an envelope that is obviously money* Dick: Dick: *smiling through gritted teeth* ah, thanks. Um where did you say he was? Kid: *shrugs* Dick: here. Just take the envelope to your mom, okay? Jason: *going through paperwork for a case* his goons: *knock on the door* Jason: come in goons: uh, hood, sir— Jason: *raises eyebrow* yeah? Goons: we just got . . . Paid? Jason: by who??? Ain’t I payin’ ya? Goons: exactly. So uh, we don’t know where the’ money came from. But it’s a shit ton. Jason: *sighs* and why are you even coming to me about this? Why not take the money for yourselves? Goons: there was a post it on th’ bills sayin’ “I’ll know if this does not reach Hood”. Writing was crap. Jason: *under his breath* fuck

Okay so Danny’s family is insane and have a history of lab accidents and magic accidents.

So one day he is in a store and suddenly sees his long lost uncle (he got lost in a different dimension).

“Danny what are you doing here?”

“Uncle? Didn’t you get lost in a different dimension? AM I IN A DIFFERENT DIMENSION?”

“Uh how did you get here?”

“Family vacation. Dad was driving.”

“No wonder. Must have gone through a natural portal…. What happened to you?”

He grabs his face and arm.

“Lab accident…uh what have you been up to?”

“……Community service!”

“Community service?”

“Yep! I also develop video games, let’s go home and I’ll show you some!”

He nervously sends Danny a way so he doesn’t find out what he really does. Riddles.

“Bats! Leave him and cousin Maddie’s family out of this. I haven’t seen him since he was five and I will not have him disappointed in his favorite uncle!”