The Tory Burch Ella Bag is A Nice Big Tote To Carry Everything Under The Sun.

I love myself.

Don't EVER let anyone tell you that you're not good enough.. Too fat, too skinny, too ugly, too stupid, a know-it-all, a freak, weird the list goes on and never ends!! Everything about you is beautiful and you are the only one who can change you! Stay happy, be who you are and enjoy life! Thought of the day... Because nobody is and ever will be perfect :)

Cling to me

It wasn't until today that I realised I need to BACK OFF. So addicted to tiny little big things in life that may be my way of coping with life?! NO GOOD. I have surrounded myself with the most amazing human beings and it's time to let go of the others and the objectives that cling me to some.. ( never wise to keep old things) don't do it!! My boyfriend clearly seems to hate it when I joke around being too clingy.. I say joking.. Muhahaha! Well the weekend is coming which means fortunately for him I'll be gone! Thank god. Need a time out! Always necessary even if you're in the bestest relationship ever. Just a little summary of my day basically. I also have bought a new wifi printer which is soo complicated... I will be basically printing things 24/7 after I figure out how to work it! Okay lovelies! Until then! Xoxo

Don’t be fooled!

There is no need for me to rant about men. Particular someone you grew to love over a year or so yet they fucked up. As usual. I’m not the strongest out there so for me a break up is quite awful but it gets worse. 

Whatever he said during the break up is very nice and all and being gullible is sooo much better than facing the truth. Being naive even better! Its his terms or no terms. It bugs me the most that for 15 months he was the most loving and caring person I knew and fell for so deeply, but speaking to him now makes me doubt myself who I fell for.  A narcissist. Plain and simple. I will never bad mouth him and nor will I regret the time spent together. However, what I do regret is the one week of sleepless nights and puffy eyes in the morning. Not worth it. Surely I am not the only woman who’s said this after a break up and surely I let my emotions run high when writing this blog. 

You see, men don’t care. We know it. They know that we know it. Everybody knows this. Its a delusion which has been carried out for many many years that women should trust men and that men care about women. It just isn't in their nature to care as much as we do. 

I am not writing this blog to talk about the careless men in our lives but to talk about the foolishness of us women. We believe it. We should not therefore blame them. If they can not be trusted which we know very much why do we allow ourselves to fall for them so damn deep to the point of not being able to pick ourselves up. Its just ridiculous and quite frankly, women are pathetic soppy little creatures. 

It hurts so much to think that you’re not good enough, but do not be fooled because you are GOOD. Way too good, maybe even overqualified to be with a man who just doesn’t want to appreciate you. Who doesn’t allow himself to love you because he is nothing but a coward. A coward to face the obstacles that couples will come across in the future. What is love? Its nothing, if you’re not committed to begin with. END IT NOW BEFORE ITS TOO LATE. 

xoxo 

I got 'According to Yes' by Dawn French and I am in love with it so far! Near the end within a week!

Hello, dear Reader. Tell me a story. Did you get a book for the holiday? Did you give one?

Silly little things..

Its one thing to argue with your parents or your siblings or even with the best friend, but a complete different thing when arguments happen between you and your partner. The partner you’ve chosen yourself who ticks all of your boxes and understands you well (at least thats what you thought). A difference in opinions seem to happen quite often in my relationship. Being 300 miles apart over the summer makes situation even more complicated than it can be. Us girls never know what we want and I’ve only realised this when I first got with my boyfriend of 5 months. I’m happy to say that I’ve never gone to bed mad at him because its just not the right thing to do. Yesterday, it was our 5 month anniversary and I was waiting patiently and super excitedly for a message off him which unfortunately i didnt get so I thought i’d message first (i thought maybe he forgot for the second time!). So writing a message first really wasnt the issue. However, I did get upset about the reply: “Nawh cutie, and you.” Maybe I’m new at relationships and overly clingy but surely a little more effort wouldnt harm anyone right? Later he then decided to facetime me at 1am, so I confronted him about it. And looking back I wish I never did. Once again he found a way to make it look like im in the wrong for telling him to facetime him in the nights… well i dont know about you guys but 1 am isnt exactly the night. 

After a few hours of talking it was all resolved and I couldnt have asked for a better anniversary than to spend it with him (even if it was just over facetime). 

Its never easy to tell someone about the new ideas and goals you want to achieve in life because in the back of your head you’re always going to think that you will be judged for that ‘oh so stupid idea’ that is just sooo unoriginal. Having someone who supports you is essential! a loved one can make such a huge difference to your day and your future.  This blog may have been a stupid idea and my life might seem boring to a lot of people (including myself) but it is my way to dish it all out. But having to argue with a loved one about this idea would have never crossed my mind….

Hello again.

Hmmm, it's been a while since my last blog, and a lot has changed since. For starters: Happy New Year! 2016 will be our year! Yes we may pretend for a few months that this year will be different but it really won't be. It will be better for some, it will be worse for some, and it may stay the same for others. But how much can really change in a year? 2015 has been one of my best and worst years! I've been through the worst break up but also managed to pass another year of uni! See it's not all bad... Plus loosing weight and getting fit after the break up was one of the most accomplished goal of my year! Ups and downs, you grow stronger, you grow wiser and you grow older.. That's all there is to another year! You can make it or break with your own hands. I do not believe in a New Years resolution. Somebody asked me what mine would be for 2016 and I quite frankly told them that a resolution is pointless. I like to think that whatever success, whatever goal you achieve and whatever kindness you do throughout the year is a resolution in disguise. The ones you haven't planned always go to plan. There is no point telling yourself that you're going to get fit because it's a beginning of a new year when you're going to give up in 1 week because you're mentally not ready to achieve this goal. Give yourself time and let it happen when you are ready. This is for any type of goal that you might have. Everyone has been through a difficult time and mourned for a long time without realising how long they have been doing so. There is no shame to be upset about something that you may have lost that was once your everything. To me, he was everything. It pained me so much. 6 months have passed and I still can't believe that it happened the way it did or why it happened the way it did. Sometimes it is best not to remind yourself of the things that you have lost but of the things that you have gained. It will always get better even if it gets worse before it gets better. Keep your chin up and walk through this year with pride and confidence! Be thankful for what you have, stay humble and make the best of it! Until next time! Xoxo

It’s 2:06am and I’m awake with nothing but the thought of you and I. You keep me up at night which is ironic because during the day the thought of you does nothing but make me want to sleep so I can forget about you for a little while.

B.L letters I never sent (via im-sad-lets-have-sex)

My days and nights since last week! 

Yoga

My first ever yoga session completed. I feel no different than before, just exhausted from what I felt like was an hour of lying down and inhaling, exhaling, and of course the random ‘ommm shanti,ommm shanti’ chanting. However, I would still recommend it! Definitely worth a try to see how you feel about it. I did like the way my mind just went blank for a whole hour and I had nothing but shanti on my mind (shanti means peace btw).

Free yourself.

Xoxo

Going through a bad phase..

I've had a very bad couple of months. I found out I failed a module and couldn't graduate along with my friends and had to resit the exam so I'm doing this waiting game of finding out my results.. With that being said, that isn't as bad as being so far away from my love. It's tough. Growing up in a Muslim family from Iraq and being kurdish, I have just realised how much that impacts on my life. My parents are nothing but narrow-minded shallow human beings who are in the way of their daughters happiness. My mother has recently told me she will abandon me as a daughter if I carry on seeing my boyfriend who is Portuguese and not kurdish. Only because it doesn't look good for my family's reputation. I know for a fact that I'm not the only one who is affected by parents and families like this and it is heartbreaking that us girls who grow up in such an environment cannot stand up for ourselves without being shunned and forced into a marriage we are not happy with. Girls like me and around the world need to find each other and support each other for the happiness we believe in. It's hard as it is.. why go through with it on your own? We should be sharing each others experiences and help and support one another without feeling embarrassed or without competing. Kurdish Society has taught nothing but hatred to others if one is better than you. It is absolutely disgraceful and I refuse to be part of a society with such way of thinking. I have a lot to say about this and I shall blog my heart out about this matter until it is recognised and seen by everyone. I will not give up for what I think is right. Xoxo

Hello again.

It has been a while since I have blogged and ranted and vented my emotions, feelings and thoughts. Although not much has changed, a lot still has changed. 

To believe I would graduate after three years without any problems or bumps along the road was very naive of me. Reaching the end of my third year of uni only to find out I have to resit an exam, resulting in me not graduating with my friends has shattered me. I have not much to say about that apart from how disappointed I am at myself. However, this has also shown a lot about the people I thought I had surrounded myself with. The people I thought that would always be there for me, proven to be very wrong indeed. I have met some amazing friends along the way and it has taken me 3 years to realise how shit I am at making and choosing friends. I had not learned how to do this up until the end of my third year of uni. I don’t regret anything. In fact I am glad a lot of things happened the way they did, otherwise I wouldn’t have met the love of my life and I wouldn’t have met the most amazing friends in these last couple of months. It is very cliche indeed but life sometimes has to be full of cliches and cheese for you to realise how good life can be. 

I have been through a lot and many people do not know that about me. The family I thought would stand by me in difficult times could not be part of my difficult times because of their narrow mindedness and shallow mindedness and their greed and love for reputation. I have always and will always adore my parents but they have let me down so much lately, sometimes even to the point of not being able to come back from it. I have endured a lot of wounds and suffered a lot through the words that had been chucked at me by my sisters and parents but it has only made me realise.... 

You find your soulmate, your love, your life, in that one person, and everything else does not matter anymore. Every heartbreak, every let down, every pain, all can be forgotten with just one moment with that one person. That one person I can call at any time of the day and he will always stand by me. And that is what I have realised... you lose a lot of people, you fall out, you stop calling your home “home” but you gain that one person, who you want to spend the rest of your life with. He or She will become your home, your shelter, your life and I can honestly say, I have never felt so safe in my life before as I do now with him by my side. I’m proud to be his. 

Its the time where you have to think about what you really want! Do you want to live to please others? Go out there and find your soulmate, find your love, find your life and live it. To the fullest. Everyone deserves a better life, only a few know how to make their life a better life. You will get there. In time. 

xoxo