‘When We Love God Because We Feel We Should Love Him, Instead Of Genuinely Loving Out Of Our True Selves,

No

No.

I never meant to push you away.

To build up all these walls

and forcing myself to believe that everything was okay....

Making you think I don’t care at all.

Never.

I never wanted to hurt you.

I just never met anybody so nice...

because all I knew

was that people came with a price.

Stop.

I need to stop these feelings

that keep reminding me of what I miss.

I wish I could stop all of the wrong things I keep doing....

The things that keep dragging me deeper into this abyss.

Don’t.

Don’t say I “deserve happiness.”...

because I know very well that’s not true.

You don’t know that I really am a mess

because I made sure there was never really any proof.

Won’t.

I will never forgive myself.

For all of the wrong things I have done.

Forever locked away in this cell.

Never able to freely tell everything to anyone.

Can’t.

I feel like I can’t stop this monster

that keeps making me feel less human....

I keep telling it I have nothing else to offer.

Yet it never listens even when I say it over and over again.

None.

This monster called madness is always there.

Never not being so rough.

Making life so hard to bear.

Always feeling like I’m never enough.

..... I give up.

If you stand for nothing, Burr, what’ll you fall for?

Arron Burr from the Hamilton Soundtrack

Society

Society can be mean most of the time

and it can make you feel like you’re in a bind.

Please don’t listen to them!

It doesn’t matter in the end.

Come take a walk with me.

Let’s go and be free.

By getting out of here...

Because to me, you are the only one that I hold dear.

Me when I actually look nice lol

Our Lord has deigned to explain this mystery to me. He showed me the book of nature, and I understood that every flower created by Him is beautiful, that the brilliance of the rose and the whiteness of the lily do not lessen the perfume of the violet or the sweet simplicity of the daisy. I understood that if all the lowly flowers wished to be roses, nature would lose its springtide beauty, and the fields would no longer be enameled with lovely hues. And so it is in the world of souls, Our Lord’s living garden. He has been pleased to create great Saints who may be compared to the lily and the rose, but He has also created lesser ones, who must be content to be daisies or simple violets flowering at His Feet, and whose mission it is to gladden His Divine Eyes when He deigns to look down on them. And the more gladly they do His Will the greater is their perfection….. As the sun shines both on the cedar and on the floweret, so the Divine Sun illumines every soul, great and small, and all correspond to His care—just as in nature the seasons are so disposed that on the appointed day the humblest daisy shall unfold its petals.

Saint Therese

The star maker says, "It is not so bad" The dream maker's going to make you mad The spaceman says, "Everybody look down It's all in your mind"

Spaceman by The Killers

Numbers Don’t Matter

38D That's my bra size But my heart is far more larger... Yet all you see is just a prize. 16 Is the size of my pants. Yet most of you just see a big ass. Now here you are starting to make plans. 178.8 lbs That's how much I weigh. So what? It's less than the number of sacrifices I've made. 8 That's the size shoe I where. I've taken million steps even when I didn't want to live anymore... But you don't care. To you, I'm just numbers and nothing more.

Some of the words you’ll find within yourself, the rest some power will inspire you to say.

Homer

Death’s Little Shadow (Black Butler Various x Oc)

Chapter One-

Run. That was the only thought running through her mind at the moment as she ran through the woods. The night sky not giving her any help in trying to find a place to hide. She knew that if she stopped now, they would surely get to her. She would do whatever it took to leave that horrid place, even if it meant death.

 Don't look back. Those words, along with others, repeated at the back of her mind. Blaring like alarms throughout her mind not letting her think of anything else. The teen knew if that she didn't listen it, it would just be the end of her.

 Don't think. She would want to go back for the others; the ones who had risked their lives for her, her family. She would start to feel the pain, physically and emotionally, if she did. Gnawing at her all over, not sparing her any mercy. The teen's eyes widened as she saw a clearing, leading towards the streets of London. Little puffs of air shot out of her mouth as she kept going, trying with all her might not to screw things up.

 Hide. That's all she can do at the moment. No matter how bad she wanted to do otherwise. Go back for the ones that risked their lives, to stop it all; this madness that had spiraled out of control all because of them. She knew she wouldn't be able to keep running for long. She looked around; it was hard to see with only a few street lamps to help.

 DOOOONNNNGGGG.

 The teen stopped running as the noise rang through the air without a single protest.

 DOOOONNNNGGGG.

 The girl realized as she looked up that she was almost at the heart of London. Where it would be easier to hide until she could go back and finally end it all.

 DOOOONNNNGGGG.

 The tower, also known as Big Ben, had it's hands showing that it was midnight. Every single detail of the ancient tower becoming sketched into her mind at that moment.

 DOOOONNNNGGGG.

 She could hear voices coming her way. It was them. The ones that she was running from. The ones that had ruined her life. The ones that started it all.

 DOOOONNNNGGGG.

 The young woman started to run although her body protested. She knew even if she cried for help no one would help her. It wouldn't be the first time it's happened.

 DOOOONNNNGGGG.

 She had barely ran a block from where she was standing just moments before when a hand grabbed her; forcing her into an alleyway.

 DOOOONNNNGGGG.

 The girl opened her eyes; not realizing when she had closed them. It took every inch of her will to look at who or what had grabbed her. She knew it would either be the beginning of a new journey or the end of her doom.

 DOOOONNNNGGGG.

 She found herself staring back at lime-green eyes that seemed to glow in the dead of night. They were staring at her in a way that made her feel as if they were looking into her soul, trying to find out her deepest, darkest secrets.

 DOOOONNNNGGGG.

 The young woman was trapped in between the mysterious man's arms, her back against a brick wall. Caging her into what would be either the help she needed-no, was dying to get, or the inevitable death that she would be forever running from. The girl's breathing hitched when she heard the voices in a far off distance. Calling her, trying to bring her back. Wanting to draw her towards them just to drag her back to where they came from. The man seemed to realize this too as he smirked at her deviously.

 DOOOONNNNGGGG.

 "I would like you to be my new assistant. My previous assistant was by no means fun and went away." The mysterious man whispered into her ear, being too close for her comfort.

 "What?!" She replied, being careful as to not get caught. She didn't really know what to say. I don't even know this guy! He could be a killer for all I know! The  young woman thought as her heart was beating erratically. Not letting her be able to think clearly from how loud it sounded to her. "If you don't tell me your answer by the last strike of the bell I will let those people know you're right here. That wouldn't be much fun now would it?" Every and every word the mysterious man said made the young woman's eyes widened. She needed to be quick about making her decision but it had to be a good one as well. As the girl was having an inner war with herself, she failed to realize that the voices were getting nearer and nearer.

 Anything is better than going back there, she thought. But what happens if  this is worse?! Her mind was spinning. "What will it be?" The man asked, seeming to enjoy the fear radiating off of the poor girl. Anything beats going back to that place. As she opened her mouth to make her decision, she was interrupted by the people that were looking for her.

 DOOOONNNNGGGG.