This Hit So Perfect For Me Since I Grew Up On Godzilla, My Dad Introduced It To Me And It's Something

I couldn't decide which one I liked better so now you get both

Wanted to make something sorta with the vibes from my TTHSYS fic. I can't believe how long it's been since I started my IZ AU series

the girls

A little Spideypool animatic that I’ve been working on!

Song: Would You Be So Kind by Dodie

S10 Carry On

I will scream if S10′s recap has that scene from ep. 200 where the girl was reminding the boys of “Oh that’s John Winchester’s other son Adam.  He’s still stuck in the Cage in Hell.  With Lucifer.”  It would mean Adam might come back!! ... Possibly Lucifer too? :) Prooooobably won’t happen, but it would make me happy!

Cute best buds

Man! That destiel stuff linda came out of no where but I feel like it's so perfectly heartbreaking?

Like Dean just lost the one person (again) who got him the most (besides Sam), who TRULY and so PURELY loved him. I feel like Dean has always known that Cas's feeling probably were a bit more romantic, but never brought it up or avoided the subject because then he would have to confront those feelings and actually talk with Cas which is something Dean is not good at. Guy couldn't say "love" for the longest time, no way was he going to have an actual conversation about it.

And I honestly don't feel like Dean can handle such raw and genuine affection and adoration being directed at him. He's a self loather and when his best friend starts confessing to him he knows immediately Cas wouldn't be saying this to him either unless there was nothing after and that is just so heartbreaking on so many levels for Cas, Dean, and fans. But Cas fucking smiles and finds the beauty and happiness of being able to tell Dean how he really feels and how he sees Dean as a person which kind of just drives that knife in further.

Like what do you do with that kind of information when you are not good with dealing with emotions or talking about them? You're in a high stakes scenario, you are blindsided by a beautiful declaration of love from your best friend that you weren't ready to hear, only to have that realization and it's consequences taken out of your hands because there is no proper amount of time to process and react beyond "Don't do this" before they're killed?

As much as I would have loved for this ship to be happier I am a sucker for sad/angsty relationships and this type of ending (gay or het). The only thing better/worse would be for Dean to have been ready to hear it, but never gotten to do anything about it anyways because Cas dies.

Dean and Cas Interactions S10

I personally think that the lack of Dean and Cas interactions or mentions in the second part of season 10 have more to do with the Mark of Cain rather than the actors and/or writers. They gave us a bunch of stuff in the beginning with Cas pining for Dean and the shout outs in the musical episode.  We have Dean even asking Cas to end him if he gets out of control and Cas just generally being worried about him.  And of course the Cas/Collette parallels.   Dean’s been a little off this season because of the Mark of Cain and having been a demon at the beginning of the season.  He’s struggling with it.  The worse he gets, the more he plays it off and tries to subtly distance himself from the people he cares about.   That’s why I feel there’s no “chemistry” or “eye-sex” going on between them.  Dean’s not doing well.  At all.  He has WAY more important things going on with him than whether or not he is in love with Cas or Cas is in love with him.   When he was feeling decent, we got some of that fluff.  But now that he is just going downhill, he can’t be bothered.  Personally I feel that if Dean wasn’t behaving this way towards everyone (not just Cas), I would be a little confused when shit hits the fan with him especially if he was showing that lovely chemistry and having a lot of moments with Cas up until that point.  That chemistry shows that Dean is feeling normal and okay.  The chemistry is muted when he’s not.  If Dean was acting normal, the characters and viewers would have no reason to suspect that he is handling this poorly and should the MoC flare up, it would seem forced.   Now, they’ve always got problems in their life, so why didn’t that prevent Dean from making goo-goo eyes at Cas during the Apocalypse?  Or when Sam was soulless?  Or when the leviathans were wreaking havoc?  Or when the angels fell?  Or when Sam was possessed by an angel?   The reason is because during all that time, Dean was sure of his personality.  He knew what he was and wasn’t.  He had control of himself.  Yeah, he might have had nightmares or be guilt tripping about his time in hell or sad about all the death that follows the Winchesters.  But he was still Dean.  And he was human. Now Dean is dealing with something out of his control, that is forcing him to be a certain way, it’s changing him.  He was a DEMON and he tried to KILL SAM.  The MoC is trying to make that happen again.  He doesn’t trust himself not to cause damage.  That’s why he asked Cas to kill him if it got to that point.  He’s trying to fight it, but he’s losing.  He is not doing well.   It’s because of that compromised state of mind that he’s in he isn’t being normal Dean and hence not creating a normal chemistry with Cas. That doesn’t mean that he doesn’t still care about Cas and Sam and Charlie.  It just means that right now, that’s not even a concern in his head.  He just doesn’t want to hurt anybody even if that means his death or him leaving forever.   That’s why I feel that there hasn’t been as much interaction between Cas and Dean in the second half of this season. After becoming human again, Dean felt reasonably well and we got some normal Dean that made everybody happy.  Then he’s just kind of faded away because he is basically relapsing.   This is just how I see it and why I personally am not discouraged.  Would it be nice to see all that Cas and Dean fluff?  Absolutely.  But when I see it, I want it to be believable and not stand out.  I want it to flow naturally and not be placed in there just for the sake of it.  Even if it means that there is a point in the story line where they don’t get to interact as much, like right now. The nice thing that the writers’ are doing for us right now is continuing to show that Cas cares about Dean.  That Dean is still always on his mind even if Dean can’t right now.  That’s the other reason I believe that they aren’t deviating from the Cas and Dean relationship.  (It’s also the reason I believe that Cas being canonically in love with Dean will be the first thing to come in their saga, but that’s a theory for another time) For now though, everything in the fandom is just speculation (including my own feelings and theories).   Season 10 finale is almost here so lets’ see what they give us!    :)

Super sucky when you've been on T for almost 5 years, have had top surgery, and even dress and style masculine but your voice is still so high pitched and effeminate that everyone who meets you thinks you're just butch femme instead of male

Lmao I can't even be that mad, how would they know?

....

........

...........okay... I've enjoyed a lot of the SM/DP series. Pretty much all of it.

I'm a fairly trusting and optimistic guy and I very rarely poo-poo on stuff that is unfinished, because you never know how things will turn out.

And while I wasn't expecting things to turn out the way I wanted as the series was being cancelled, I was at least expecting.... something? A conclusion? Some kind of resolution to at least one character arc? .... possibly just less pages of event covers as the advertised "double length" volume.

... I'm not mad. It's not my story and it's just a comic, but as a fan and defender of the series I really felt kind of uncomfortable with the delivery of that ending. It kinda felt a bit bitter??

Dunno. Anyway, it's over.

As soon as I finish moving (end of June) and get my drawing tablet back and set up, I think I'm going to continue this series on my own. Just for shits and giggles and because Peter and Wade deserved better.

Debating on where to start up.

1. End of the Itsy Bitsy Arc

2. The Roadtrip

Depends on how much I want to keep canon-compliant.

Suggestions?