If You Ship Clonec*st You’re A Fetishizing Freak And I Literally Hate You ❤️

Obi-Wan wanders off in the middle of important meetings cause someone comes in with a baby. Can he hold the baby? Why is it so small? Can he give it lil kisses on it’s dumb head? Can he bless it like a fairy of old??? Can he keep the baby?? Can he at least show it to Anakin?

Master Poof has banned infants from important meetings because it distracts Kenobi, Tyvokka, AND Mace and occasionally Yoda and Yaddle if they’re old enough to yammer at people.

Babies only allowed in the council chambers and meeting rooms if they’re needed for that meeting, thank you.

Keep the Jedi Out of It

With input from @atagotiak (Tia), @gelpenss (Gel), and @thisarenotarealblog (Doc).

Standard initial premise: Clones take over the Republic after Fox kills Palpatine.

Fun AU Twist: in order to keep people from trying to fuck over the Jedi, and also as a backup because they trust the Jedi to at least try to save them after the initial hubbub goes down, and also as a bit of a vindication for those who don’t like their Jedi… the clones arrest all the Jedi and just keep them in the brigs etc. until they figure out how to break the news to the galaxy that Palpatine was a bigger problem than previously anticipated.

“Why did the Jedi not stop you?” “Great question! We arrested them.” “…all of them?” “Yes.” “On what grounds?” “On ‘they would have stopped us from killing the Chancellor’ grounds.”

“The Jedi couldn’t stop you from arresting them?” “We just kind of told them ‘here, hold this’ and then put the force cuffs on. It was really easy, actually, they trust us way too much, it’s kinda scary. A few of them passed out without the Force to keep them awake and the medics got pissed they hadn’t been sleeping.” “…you’re saying you did this for their own good?” “No, we did it so we could kill the Chancellor.”

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150 word challenge! Eddie has to watch Hermes and Tom while the dads are out! We need more Eddie interactions lol

150 words exactly!! I'm proud of this one! It's a lot harder than I thought to finish a whole idea/scene in so few words. But it was a good sort of challenging!

"Grandpa Eddie! Grandpa Eddie!"

"Yes, Hermes?" the man questioned, snagging the child off the ground to stop the constant running. Hermes giggled as Eddie pulled them further and further into the air.

"Tom wants a snack! He's hungry," Hermes claimed.

"Oh, Tom wants a snack? Not you?"

"Me too! Me too, Grandpa Eddie!"

"Well, we should go ask your brother what he wants for his snack, shouldn't we?"

Hermes barely hesitated before agreeing. "Yeah, Tom can choose the snack!"

The child in Eddie's arms began wriggling around to escape the hold. The grandfather released Hermes, only to watch them speed off in the direction of their brother.

"Hey Tom-tom, what snack do you want?"

"Snack? Can have juice? And carrots?"

"Of course you can have juice and carrots, Tom," Eddie agreed easily, ruffling the small child's hair gently, eliciting a grin from the boy. "Do you want the same, Hermes?"

"Yes, please!"

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It was a ship wide rule to never interrupt human’s movie night. It was a quiet and safe group activity to strengthen their pack bond, and it was normally a movie that other species couldn’t understand. I knew this rule, but curiosity got the better of me.

After watching the entire movie with the humans, I went to the ship’s biologist. He allowed me inside.

“What troubles you Cannan?” Ghro asked.

“I joined the humans’ movie night. I had always heard their movies were more, fantastical. The feats were certainly impossible, but there appeared to be no discernible story. The humans seemed very intense while watching, so I know I must be missing context.”

Ghro nodded. “Many human movies require specific context to understand. Tell me, what is the name of the movie and I will research it for you.”

“They called it Olympic.”

Ghro paused. “Cannan, this is very important, did they call it only by Olympic or was there something else?”

“The Olympic maybe. Does that matter?” I asked.

Ghro nodded, and pressed a button to page a medic.

“You’re scaring me,” I said, glancing instinctively towards an exit.

“What you saw was not a fictional movie. You were watching The Olympics, a quadrennial competition of human athletes all attempting to best previous human limits.”

I laughed. “No, of course not. One human ran 100 minsecs in 8.97 seconds. You can’t possibly expect me to be so foolish as to believe you.”

Ghro said nothing. I frowned.

“This isn’t funny Ghro.”

“I’m not joking.”

I stood up, aggravated. “I know humans are absurd but they aren’t super beings. They have limits. Humans are meant for land and climbing, so the female who swam faster than a frullo is not real.”

Ghro said nothing again. I shook my head.

“Take it back! It’s not real! Humans cannot lift as much as a Helvsparr! Four arms are stronger than two!”

Ghro glanced at the page indicator. He wouldn’t tell me the truth. I felt anxiety rise. I grabbed my arms.

“Humans aren’t capable of that. They just aren’t. Their bodies can’t handle it.” I insisted.

“Those humans in the Olympics train their entire lives to reach these limits and push past them. You are not the first to fail to understand how their body allows this. Many scientists have been retired because their minds could not grasp the lunacy of human biostats.”

I had to know. I had to know. I turned and ran.

-

I knew Cannan was not prepared for the truth. Unfortunately his species, Faetatia, can identify lies with frightening accuracy. I had no choice but to give him the truth.

He could not handle the truth, and so his instinct to run kicked in. I got up and followed him, keeping a safe distance. I also alerted the medics to find us in the halls.

I found Cannan gripping a human, Mario, and screeching for the truth. Mario looked concerned and unsure.

Medics came and used a gas to render Cannan unconscious and carted him away. He would undergo testing to be sure his mental functions were still well and then reassigned to a ship without humans.

“Ghro, what happened?” Mario asked.

“Cannan watched the Olympics and could not believe that humans are capable of such things.”

“Oh. You told him those were extreme cases right? Not every human is like that?” Mario asked.

“I could not, because every human has the potential. That thought frightens many, too many.”

“I guess the Olympics are gonna be banned on ship wide movie nights then, huh?” Mario asked.

“I’m not sure. They do just as good a job of pacifying humans as they do frightening other species, so it is the Captains call.”

Thank you Technoblade for being a comfort in a time when things were moving so slow yet changing so fast. Thank you Alex for making such an amazing community. Technoblade never dies, and never will.

Animagus AU again

Rex: *standing there with adolescent monkey Ahsoka on his shoulder, quietly grooming his non existent hair*

Anakin: *comes over and looks at everyone for a long moment* Why is Echo crying?

Echo: *feeding bat Fives some watermelon*

Fives: *wrapped up like a burrito in a soft bat blankie while monching and cronching his noms*

Rex: Have you SEEN Fives eat watermelon? It’s cute. I cry sometimes too.

Anakin: *goes over to watch Fives eat his noms* Oh… oh no… they’re right…

Anakin: *turns back to look at Ahsoka* Hey! Why aren’t you cute like that? I watched you shove an entire banana in your mouth this morning, that wasn’t cute! Be cute!

Ahsoka: *fake sadness, hiding her laughing little monkey face in Rex’s neck*

Rex, upon mistaking that for real sadness: *holding her little body close, very protective* First of all, how DARE you-

I am having thoughts about Corrie Massiffs.

About them being trained as emotional support animals as well as their actual jobs.

About them being long lived (maybe 30-50 year life span) and choosing their corries as their people to protect.

Sensing when their corries need support and helping them though panic attacks and anxiety issues, helping them sleep and guarding them through the night. Helping with their fears and drawing them out of dark spiralling thoughts and having the best hugs.

Thinking about the Corries also being the massiffs emotional support people who do just as much for them, who love them oh so dearly. Who play games with them and always try to get them treats and protect them with everything they have.

Thinking about the way the Massiffs would calm their corries down, little nudges and heads on laps or sitting on them entirely.

Thinking about how neither the corrie nor the massiff like to be apart.

Thinking about about them whining over the bodies of their corries and refusing to move, nudging them desperate for them to wake up. Having to be pulled away and never being the same after.

Thinking about them sitting by the door to the icebox room and refusing to move until their corrie comes back, then following right next to them as they're helped to a space to lie down and curling up with them so their person can take their body heat and feel warm and safe and letting their corries hug tight.

Thinking about the massiffs sitting outside the med bay and just whining and scratching on the door. About Grizzer refusing to move and sounding distressed after Hound was carried in and about Hound finally waking with Grizzer on his lap.

About everything getting all too much all of a sudden for Pup and Bumble pulling him away to get him somewhere quieter and then putting her head in his lap and licking his face and being a warm solid presence for Pup to focus on and calm down and feel safe.

About massiffs knowing their corries are overworking themselves and trying to make them sleep. Of Grizzer knowing it upsets Hound and that Fox is almost his person too so he steals Fox's datapad and leads him to his bed then sits on him. Fox scratches him behinds the ear with a very soft chuckle and admits he could probably do with a few hours.

Grizzer trying to get the smell of Palpatine off of Fox. All the massiffs trying to get the smells of Senators off their corries and take the horrible smell of distress away.

Thinking about no-Order 66 where the massiffs stay with their corries and help them with their recovery post-war and this spreading through the GAR. They get even more training on how to be support animals and they love getting to help and love their people who love them so dearly back.

Thinking about Order-66, and the massiffs not understanding whats happened to their corries. Why they're not them anymore.

About any blackout mission and their corries aren't behaving like their people and they don't smell of anything, not fear not joy not sadness not anything they can usually sense, they can't read any emotion off their corries and they don't know what to do. Trying to get them to react, trying to bring them out of it or simply waiting for them to come back and being worried until they do.

You know, just thinking thoughts...

Every species has their own system of codes and ciphers. Every species had hidden or lost treasure. But no species ever made there’s as needlessly complicated as humans did.

They coded everything, from their names (nicknames), to their door locks (who doesn’t use bio locks in this day and age?). They coded so much that it seemed to be ingrained in them to solve these codes.

Humans started being hired by historians of other species trying to uncover their own history. Normally one or two per team was all that was required, more if your species had a history of traps.

Quite suddenly, lost histories of every species were being discovered and shared. It was the largest boom of historical knowledge the universe had seen. For every planet except Earth.

Every historian who’d ever asked a human for help eventually turned their attention to the humans own history and lost artifacts. Many were too scared to actually go to the deathworld, but they started sending more and more advanced technology along with human explorers.

They dove into stories of human lore. Everything humans claimed lost over the years. A city. A pilot. A ship. A mountain. An island. They dove into these for clues and anyway they could offer their humans assistance in finding their own histories.

Slowly, they did. One at a time they discovered the truth in the stories and found these precious treasures.

But then they discovered the stories of monsters and gods. Already this far, they dug into those as well.

The truth behind those were not as reassuring. Terrible things in history that seemed tamed by the humans own lore. When they brought this to the humans attention, the response was not one they expected.

“Yeah, we knew where those came from. We prefer the stories we came up with.”

Historians across the known universe stopped, and it became a common rule to accept human stories as presented, lest you uncover a much darker truth.