Observations On Kryptonians:

I had a Batman AU thought that I wanted to share involving eldritch?sentient!Gotham. Gotham is alive, old and deeply rooted magic of ??? origin (that doesn't appreciate being poked and prodded so attempts to discern what she is have ended badly), and she is... mercurial, to put it diplomatically. She can favor or sabotage people on a sliding scale of intensity - basically good or bad luck on the lower side of the scale (finding a $20 bill vs stepping in a gross puddle kinda thing), and on the higher side it's things like a bullet missing when it shouldn't or a piece of building falling onto someone. She also has boons, things she grants certain people - primarily Bats, but there are a few Rogues that have their own boons because again, mercurial. Boons bind someone to Gotham, make them always find their way back and eventually need to come back, but if you're close enough to Gotham for her to offer a boon, it's probably your home.

Batman is her... warlock? Paladin? He's pledged his life to protect Gotham and is in tune with her, and he protects the city and keeps it in balance, and she grants him her favor constantly and has given him a powerful boon (able to hide in whatever shadows there are, even slight ones, and virtually disappear in them even if you're watching him). When he takes Dick in and Dick creates the Robin mantle, Gotham loves it, and Dick gets his own boon (able to land where he intends to, can't be killed/seriously hurt from a fall).

Jason though is her absolute favorite son, her pride and joy. He's born of Gotham, steeped in the city, of it and for it, and he loves Gotham and when he becomes Robin he fights to make her better and bring light to her. She gives him the boon that he knows every part of the city instinctively. He can move through it easily, knows the streets and buildings by heart, knows on some level what's happening in different places (not always exact, usually gut feelings), and he can always hide in it when he chooses.

Then he dies. (Away from Gotham, because if he'd been in Gotham she never would have let it happen.) Gotham and Batman are a wreck together, they're angry and grieving and losing it, everything is coming apart and it's Bad. (The Joker had a boon from Gotham, because he's also of Gotham, and she's not good or evil but simply is. However when he killed HER favorite son, she tore the boon and her favor from him and wrecked what was left of his mind. He still feels chained to Gotham and Batman, but this is no longer a city that loves him.)

This is when Tim pushes to become Robin, and both Gotham and Batman hate it. They both want to lose themselves in the rage and grief, but Tim won't let them. Batman/Bruce comes around first, but Gotham is still seething, and she sabotages Tim at every turn: things that should hold his weight break or creak loudly, shadows never seem to hide him, evidence gets lost or trails go cold when he tries to follow them, buildings constantly crumble around him, goons always seem to get hits on him that he should be able to dodge or avoid, he gets pitched into the harbor CONSTANTLY.

It gets to a point that Bruce is seriously considering firing Tim purely because it's notably more dangerous for him as Robin than it ever was for Dick and Jason (even though he and Dick both try to convince Gotham to calm down and lay off). Tim eventually tracks down the best place to communicate with Gotham directly (much as she tries to deter him) and they get into a fight (reminiscent of Tim getting into fights with Bruce to make him get his shit together).

Tim argues that if he hadn't stepped in, Bruce would have either gotten himself killed or crossed a line he couldn't come back from, and it would have destroyed him AND the hope left in Gotham. He would have been considered a criminal and likely would have become a Rogue, with no 'Batman' to step up and stop him. He argues that Batman needs a Robin to fight for and protect, and without one he'll backslide and get worse again, and if that happens, Gotham will be torn to shreds. Tim points out that Jason loved Gotham and fought for her, and it's disrespectful of his love and his memory to let everything fall to pieces after he fought so hard for her.

It's enough to convince Gotham to back off on her sabotage, though she's still hurt and sulking. Bruce still isn't sure about Tim not having Gotham's favor, much less a boon of his own, but Tim argues that he'll get good enough to keep up with or without Gotham's help - which he does.

Over time though, Gotham watches Tim fight to protect Gotham and Batman, and she admits she was wrong in how she treated him. She slowly starts to extend her favor to him and eventually approaches him and offers him a boon. Tim, however, turns her down. He's seen how badly Jason's loss and Gotham's grief and anger affected those closely connected to her, and he knows taking the boon will tie him to Gotham permanently. He believes those connected to Gotham and Gotham herself need someone who can be more objective and keep a level head, and he's secretly kind of worried that if something happens again, if Bruce and the Bats eventually tire of him and don't need him, he'll be trapped in Gotham. He also just doesn't totally trust Gotham even though he loves her.

Gotham's hurt, obviously, but she understands and doesn't lash out, recognizing it's her own fault. She does give him her favor though and swears to never rescind it, even when she's upset with him. Tim's gotten this far without her favor or a boon, but it's nice not to have to worry about getting dunked in the harbor for the third time in one week anymore (though she hasn't done that in a year or so).

Then Jason returns, and Gotham is having THE BEST time. Her baby boy! Is back! He's bigger now, and he's a lot angrier and hurt in a lot of ways, but he's! Back! She's a little worried about how angry he is at Batman and the other Bats, but Jason is her favorite and she can't turn him away or deny him. She still favors him, she just... makes sure she favors the Bats enough too to keep them all on an even playing field. They'll work it out. Tim managed to get her to calm down, so she's confident her current Robin will help the family again.

Then Jason goes to the Titan Tower after Tim, and initially she assumes they'll talk and things will be better, but when Jason comes back she sees that he went and ATTACKED Tim.

It's the first time she's ever been angry at Jason, and she drops a brick on his head (while he's wearing his helmet, he's still her favorite), and she threatens to collapse the ceiling of his apartment. They get into a fight. Jason came away from his fight with Tim thinking Tim was impressive as Robin, but he doesn't want him in the suit so he still went through with beating him unconscious. He DID notice Tim doesn't have Gotham's boon, so he doesn't understand why she's so upset he roughed the kid up.

Gotham is pissed and a pissed Gotham is hard to communicate with outside of raw emotion, so eventually after suffering several indignities of light sabotage, getting caught yelling at the street or a building while the manhole cover or windows rattle angrily, Jason goes to find Tim and ask "hey what the FUCK" (haven't fully figured how this changes Jason's interactions with the rest of the Bats, but he is begrudgingly impressed that Tim made it through the start of his tenure with Gotham actively sabotaging him, then argued an eldritch city into behaving, then turned down her boon and STILL came out of it with her undying favor).

(Gotham, in this AU, is NOT a fan of the al Ghuls at all. Primarily Ra's, at first, because he wants to purify Gotham/control her, and she is NOT a fan of that thanks. He's tried attacking her (destroying parts of the city), threatening her, trying to determine the origin of her magic, enslave her, trying to bargain with her, seducing her, and she is having NONE OF IT. Going into Gotham is a nightmare for anyone with the League, because while it can be difficult for her to get a hold of them, once she does she sabotages the HELL out of them. Getting cut on rusted rebar, falling off ledges, sinkholes opening up under them, one of them managed to get bitten by a rat and catch the bubonic plague. Ra's has, on one memorable occasion, been knocked into an open manhole and then almost drowned in sewer water that carried him out into the harbor where something (possibly Croc) tried to eat him, and he broke his arm while climbing out.

Talia got a reluctant pass since she seemed more interested in Bruce than Gotham and Bruce reciprocated, but Gotham doesn't appreciate Talia's attempts to lure Bruce OUT of Gotham. When she finds out Talia kept Jason away? AND convinced him to go after Tim? Talia is on the permanent shit list too.

When Gotham finds out about DAMIAN, Talia can't set foot in Gotham without having SEVERAL chunks of building being dropped on her from above.

Though when Damian DOES show up, Gotham is quick to claim him and offer him a boon. He's the son of Batman, he's a future Robin, and if he's given a boon, he's tied to Gotham and can't easily return to the League (mostly Talia and Ra's). Win win!

Except then he attacks Tim, and learns VERY swiftly that it's not good to piss off the sentient eldritch city you accepted a boon from. He's laid up with a migraine and all kinds of awful symptoms of an illness (nothing fatal but definitely awful) until Tim recovers, and then Tim gets to play mediator between the Bats and Gotham AGAIN as he tries to explain to Damian the nuances of Gotham as an entity and what being one of her favored/booned actually means, AND lecturing Gotham about sabotaging another Robin/giving him a boon without making sure he understood what he was accepting.)

HI 👋 Fabulous AU you've got here.

I particularly enjoy how complicated Tim's relationship with Gotham is. In fact, Tim's later years could be misunderstood by the Bats as Tim being her favorite (hear me out).

If Gotham never states who her favorite is, all the Bats see is that Tim, despite not having a boon, has Gotham on his side against the other Bats (really, Tim just isn't attacking/harming the others like they are to him, but it's about perspective).

It's also kind of heartbreaking that Tim has an additional condition that sets him apart from the Bats. He's the only one to be immediately hated by Gotham. He doesn't have a boon (though later that's a choice). He is consistently reaching out to Gotham to actually communicate and fix their issues.

Might I add an additional part for extra angst? We'll take the fanon idea of Tim stalking his heroes from a young age.

Gotham sees that another being idolizes her paladins and grants him the small boon of his camera never making a sound, being unnoticeable, and the flash never being visible unless Tim wants it to. Tim is okay with being stuck in Gotham due to his parents never taking him abroad with them

After Tim forces his way into Robin, though, Gotham rips this away from him, destroys any need for him to stay (she wants him to leave her alone to her own rumination), and actively sabatoges him.

Because it was taken from him once, because he's felt the pain of that loss, because the sudden emptiness was a gaping hole he had to spend years coping with, he never wants a boon again. He doesn't know if he'll be able to handle the sudden deprivation once more.

This is the start of him not trusting that anything lasts (especially since a retracted boon was so rare it's only been rumored in the past [since Gotham doesn't care for "good" or "evil" it's harder to get on her bad side]).

I'm curious what all of the boons alloted to each person are (very curious if/what Commissioner Gordon's)

"tim is just like bruce" "tim is a mini batman" listen to me. fuck that. tim literally says he is not like batman and he does not want to be like batman. multiple times! throw that shit right out. do you wanna know who tim is a mini-me of?

listen to me. grips you by the shoulders. listen.

tim could be the second coming of lois lane.

they both have this incredibly nosy streak and an inability to stay out of situations if they think they can improve them. they are both fuelled by the need to do what is right and if no one else is gonna do it then by god they will.

"i care so much that i have to do something about it" is a fundamental tim and lois trait. "a locked door just means you have something to hide and i will find it" is also a fundamental tim and lois trait.

they are so similar. i NEED lois to get her hands on tim. i need them to get into hijinks and shenanigans together and i need clark and kon to look at each other and go "jesus christ there's TWO of them now?" as they hurry to go put out a fire. i need lois to hone and refine tim's hubristic streak and i need tim to enable her nosy snooping tendencies. tim & lois could be something beautiful. does anyone hear me. hi for the love of god hello is anyone listening

More Star Sapphire Jason from the batfam lantern AU because you gotta feed the hounds:

Jason: *makes a gun construt*

Jason: *makes a shotgun construct*

Jason: *makes a machine gun construct*

Jason: Okay, fine. I understand the appeal.

*****

Jason: *passive aggressively drops a detailed rendition of the Joker's severed head as a construct at Bruce's feet.*

Bruce: And who exactly is fueling your emotion to maintain such a complex construct?

Jason: It's called self-love.

Bruce: Now see, that I will not believe.

****

Jason plays Go Fetch with Dog using construct balls and sticks as practice. It works great, because Jason loves Dog.

***

Jason: hey Kyle, you don't have to look at them like that, you know I don't have tasers there in that uniform right? I really tried, but the space magic won't let me incorporate most of my Red Hood suit features into it.

Kyle, who definitely was staring at Jason's uniform's boob window : What? I wasn't looking, why would I be looking- wait, your other uniform has tasers where?

*****

Jason: *tries his best to make a flamethrower construct, cannot construct the necessary chemical reaction*

Jason: *tries to make a construct of a book he has been wanting to read but hasn't gotten to yet, the pages are blank.*

Jason: *tries to construct himself a cup of tea and drink it, fails.*

Jason: *tries to construct an actual living breathing cat. Obviously fails.*

Jason: I think God hates me.

*****

Jason, beating Bruce up with a baseball bat construct made out of his love for him: So, my relationship with my dad is going great-

_____

Alternate Lantern Lore explained in this post:

Horses are really fragile animals. Is it still a death sentence for a centaur if one of their equine limbs gets hurt? Or can they help it somehow?

Oh god, now I'm thinking of amputees and how those would work

Horses are SUPER fragile, or maybe more like delicately balanced.. but particularly their crazy spindle-legs which centaurs get to deal with! But a big part of why hurt legs are a death sentence for horses has less to do with “It kills them” and more to do with quality of life, which a centaur can get around! A horse with a broken leg doesn’t understand it can’t put ANY weight on that leg for an extended period and will attempt to go about their daily life and act normally, which basically guarantees re-injuring the bad leg and a high chance of injuring the other 3 legs as they try to cope with the change in balance and weight distribution. It all leads to a really poor quality of life with almost no chance of truly healing properly. The story of all they did trying to save Barbaro the racehorse is a long sad story that illustrates a lot of the issues even with modern veterinary medicine with trying to deal with a broken leg in horses.

Thankfully with centaurs, They understand the need for healing, are able to manage their own quality of life and have the gear to support themselves in the time it takes for the injury to heal!

Also perfectly good for long term use in the case of aging, amputation, or general disability! Which is common with the front legs and lower backs of centaurs given the unusual stresses caused by their body-plans. They were created with thicker and more robust front legs to cope with the permanent added weight of the torso instead of a horse head, but injury and disability in that area is still very common!

Injuries to the hind are less common and usually less severe, and given the hind legs bear less direct weight than the front they can usually get away with wraps and limping until it gets back to weight-bearing. Something like a rear amputation or ruptured tendon would probably require a custom harness/brace attached to a wheel like these and/or basically a peg leg!

Thinking about Cass being shunted off to Hong Kong and having all sorts of feelings about it again.

I think Gates of Gotham is the only series (besides bits of Red Robin) to even touch on how Cass reacts to it.

Gates of Gotham #1

When Dick tells her he didn't know she was back, Cass responds "I'm not". This is mostly referring to the fact she's back for a mission, but it also sheds light on how she's feeling. She doesn't belong in Gotham anymore, not the way she used to. In Red Robin #17, we see she was fighting without a Bat symbol, until Tim gives it back. Bruce sending her to Hong Kong wasn't just a geographical distancing, but an ideological one as well (whether he intended it or not). Cass understood him sending her away as a rebuke of her right to the Bat mantle.

Gates of Gotham #2

How does Cass feel about being 'relegated to Hong Kong'? She sidesteps Damian's comment here (mostly 'cause she knows not to engage), but her silence indicates it's not an easy answer. I wonder if there is some resentment/negative feelings towards Bruce.

Gates of Gotham #4

This exchange is so interesting if you look at it through Cass' perspective. Dick is grappling with his insecurities about not being a good enough Batman, and says "if you don't belong [in Gotham], she'll never keep you." Dick and Cass both don't come from Gotham - his comment unintentionally reflects on Cass' ability to be Batman as well. And given that Cass just returned from Hong Kong, it makes her feel even more like an outsider.

So her response - "you're[...] wrong.[...] It's not about the city. It's about how you choose to see the world. Everything else is just an excuse" - is not only addressing Dick's problems, but also her own. Her whole story is about choice and agency, and here she's making it clear: upholding the Bat mantle is their choice. No one can take it from them, not the opinions of Gotham citizens, not their own insecurities, not even Bruce himself.

Gates of Gotham #5

Cass asserts her desire to stay in Gotham (a decision tragically followed by the New 52, but I'll ignore that for now). Where Dick's arc ends with him telling Bruce he can be Batman, Cass doesn't interact with Bruce at all - her right to the Bat mantle no longer requires a Bruce stamp of approval. It shows the difference in Dick and Cass' approaches to Batman (Cass' loyalty is to the symbol, Dick's loyalty is to the man), but also highlights Cass' growth. She chooses to stay in Gotham because she wants to, not because of anyone else.

I'm not actually sure if her feelings on going to HK are elaborated elsewhere, so if anyone has more info please let me know!!! But I think it's very interesting that her first entry into Gotham is in defiance of David Cain, and her re-entry into Gotham is, in this interpretation, in defiance of Bruce.

Alternatives To Sleeping in Coffins

An Illustrated Guide For Vampires

1. Privacy Tent

2. Antique Chinese Wedding Bed

3. Victorian Box Bed

4. Canopy Bed

5. Full Body Wearable Blanket + Novelty Halloween Mask of Choice

6. Hyperrealistic Black Bear Sleeping Bag (with built in ‘Do Not Disturb’ feature)

7. Tinfoil Bodysuit (For maximized UV protection)

8. Blackout Curtains You Fucking Vampiric Dumbass

in conclusion why in fuck’s name are you sleeping in coffins to begin with you utter shitmuppets

Test Compilation of my writing submissions for the Mecha AU started by @keferon.

Friends in Every Universe

Part 1

Part 2

Part 1.5

Part 3

Part 4

Rewatching the live action Transformers Movies and a reoccurring theme is that the Cybertronians are NOT sneaky. Like, at all. Bumblebee literally chasing Sam down the sidewalk in broad daylight, the whole crew 'hiding' by turning into cars on Sam's lawn, Mudflaps and Skids in pretty much every scene they're in, Mirage setting off a car alarm trying to peek into Noah's window, etc. and I've come to the conclusion that the only reason they are so bad at being sneaky is because they're not from Earth.

On Cybertron, they're very sneaky. The tactics they were using would 100% work. But Earth has different things that make different noises and everything is sized differently and it's more delicate so their usual tactics don't work anymore. Bumblebee was a fucking scout, Jazz is canonically head of special ops. Mirage is a spy! They are sneaky bastards! But Earth shit is so fragile and small and random things have alarms that they're out of their element. It means that none of them can go on stealth missions anymore because even if they can learn how to work around everything being small and fragile, 16+ foot robots are pretty hard to fucking miss.

The thing about the All-Blades and killing "true evil" is that evil is subjective right, and I imagine he can sense more mundane evil too he just doesn't feel the same call to use the blades. But like, I think it's fair to say that the Joker is the exception. I think even aside from the trauma Jason can feel the pull to rid the world of him. Imagine being Jason "literal divine power of justice" Todd and having Bruce tell you that actually you don't get to decide who lives or dies. Your anger is literally so righteous and purifying that you have magic swords attached to your soul and some rich man is telling you that you can't play god. I would be soooo mad like what are you even talking about. Perhaps you can't but I am the subject of a prophecy and also probably immortal and also I'm definitely not entirely human anymore. So.

"Talia manipulated Jason!" Talia canonically wanted Jason to go anywhere but Gotham, told him he and Dick were the lights of Bruce's life, and spent three years holding the world's angriest teenager back by the scruff of his neck