Sleeper Body Tim Is Something I Think About Often. Like Visually He Looks Like He Has The Skeletal Structure

Lantern AU part 2

(This is part of an AU in which some of the lantern corps work differently for a bunch of reasons, here's a post explaining it:

https://www.tumblr.com/glitter-stained/758411385986220032/okay-so-to-be-honest-as-neuropsychology-major?source=share)

Kon: Holy shit, Rob, what's with the makeover?

Tim: Um yeah, so I guess I'm a Green Lantern now.

Kon: Well damn, I die and you become a whole new superhero? When did that happen?

Tim: Uh, somewhere between attempts 76 and 88 I think...

Kon: What?

Tim: What?

****

Cass: ...

Floating indigo ring:...

Cass: *squints*

Floating indigo ring: *flickers*

Cass: *tilts her head*

Floating indigo ring: *flips around itself*

Cass: *blinks*

The double dozen of goons she was busting: ...we could... Leave you guys to it?

Cass and the floating indigo ring: Shhh.

*****

Steph: Hey dad, it's visiting hour.

Arthur Brown: Stephanie? What are you doing in jai-

Steph: *punches him in the throat*

Steph: *kicks him in the shin*

Steph: *punches him in the face with a bright green giant fist construct*

Steph, looking down at the green power ring on her finger: Now where did that come from

****

Bonus:

Hal, coming back to earth after hearing there's a bunch of new lanterns in the rough that spawned around the same time: So what's been up with Gotham?

Bruce: My blood pressure

I truly hate the word "unalive." There are so many other euphemisms that fictional Italian mobsters worked so hard to provide you with and you just ignore them.

I have like 2 different posts in my drafts trying and failing to articulate this but third time’s the charm: Bruce Wayne is a reflection of the American ideal of masculinity. This is part of why he is very often a terrible father

"Talia manipulated Jason!" Talia canonically wanted Jason to go anywhere but Gotham, told him he and Dick were the lights of Bruce's life, and spent three years holding the world's angriest teenager back by the scruff of his neck

Bat Family AU wherein only Barbara and Tim know Huntress' true identity. So when Tim needs a fake relative after Jack's murder, instead of hiring a complete stranger to pose as his uncle, he hires Helena to be his fake aunt.

As a teacher, she is against him dropping out of school but she knows him and listens to him, so she realizes how hard the last few years have been on him, especially with how often he had to change schools. They compromise, with her signing him up in a homeschooling academy. He does a lot better and even starts taking AP classes in several subjects since his training has caused him to advance in them. Not having to get up early for school or hide so much from his teachers/classmates/parental figures(s) also takes a lot of pressure off of him.

Helena gains access to the Robin's Nest Tim builds in or near their building. She also upgrades her suit and staff using some of the materials and specs from his suit and gear. They both are very good at recognizing when the other is getting close to someone who isn't good for them, or pushing themselves too hard, and they intervene.

When Barbara eventually learns that Helena is posing as Tim's aunt (probably because Helena told her) she's like "Okay, I expect this kind of thing from Tim, but why would you agree to this?!"

Helena points out that she needed to find a way to supplement her teacher's salary if she was going into keep up the vigilante gig anyway; Robin's new computer set up rivals Oracle's; and this way she can make sure the bambino does his homework and gets enough sleep.

Barbara realizes that both Robin and Huntress have been on top of their game lately.

Once she calms down from realizing that Tim just needed a decent parental figure all this time, she and Helena start trading notes and working together to keep Tim and Cassandra from turning out like Bruce, Dick, or Jason.

Whenever they learn about this, Bruce and Dick will be insulted. Jason and Alfred will add their own notes to help.

When Tim's report card comes back with straight A's and Cass has learned to read all the street signs, Helena and Barbara take them out for pizza and gelato to celebrate.

Occasionally, Tim reminds Helena that she's just supposed to pretend to be his aunt. She ignores this and reminds him to do his schoolwork and eat something before patroling.

It works.

Hi, there's a really good chance I'm imagining things, but isn't there a name/term for when we latch onto "cute"/marketable endangered species and that gives incentive to protect their habitat as well? Like when keeping one animal alive allows for the argument to be made to keep a different "uglier" animal alive, or put resources into protecting a plant species? I could swear there's a name for this but I can't find anything so I could also just be mixing it up with something

The term you're looking for is "Charismatic Megafauna" or and it works in two directions:

People are more likely to identify with a large mammal than say, an ecologically vital insect or slime mold, especially if it's something regarded as "cute" like Pandas or Orcas or Elephants. People give more of a shit about the enviornment and do what you ask if they give a shit about the animal in question.

Picking a Keystone Species at the Very Tippy Top of the food chain (Apex predators like Tigers and Orca), or that needs VAST amounts of space kept pristine (Pandas, Elephants) means that you also have to preserve THE ENTIRE FUCKING FOOD CHAIN UNDERNEATH IT, and by extension, the habitat all them critters live in. So signing a law to protect Penguins protects not just their land nesting sites but the ocean they hunt in and the fish they eat and this protects vastly more species than protecting The-Actually-Load-Bearing-Deep-Sea-Sponges would.

So if you were ever wondering "How come there's all these fundraisers for cute things like giraffes and gorillas? Where's the love for the ugly little guys like freshwater clams and earthworms?" the answer is "RIGHT BEHIND the big sexy poster animal. We sneak them in like hiding your dog's pills in cheese."

Thinking about calling Jason Todd ‘angel’. He loves a good pet name, uses all kinds of variations of ‘baby’ and ‘darling’ for you, but he’s still floored the first time you call him ‘angel’. It’s silly and mundane the first time it happens, hey could grab me the flour off the top shelf, Angel? And he swears his knees turn to jelly. He’s embarrassed by how badly he likes it. Angel, like in your eyes the cracked bones and bloodstained scars of his body are something good and pure. Angel, like after every deal with the devil he’s made he’s still an innocent in your eyes.

One word has his palms going sweaty, skin tight and itchy, vision blurring at how badly he wants it to be true. And once you notice just how badly he wants to be your angel, any pretence that it doesn’t bring him to his knees evaporates. Got you crooning oh Angel as you stitch him back together in body and mind. He’s your Angel as you laughingly reach out to tangle your hands at the curls at the nape of his neck and pull him down to nip at those treacherously soft lips. Jason Todd’s been a lot of things in his short life but he thinks he likes being your Angel best of all.

Hurry up or we’re going to be late Angel! C’mon Angel, just like that. I swear to god you’ve got too many siblings to keep track of Angel. Angel, have you seen my house keys? Angel, I thought we agreed we weren’t getting a dog yet. More, Angel. I do, Angel. Angel. Angel.

"Lex Luthor's latest character flaw" poll winner, "deciding he wants grandbabies and giving Robin a cloning lab about it". Behold, a new WIP strikes!!

“What,” Tim says, staring blankly at the brightly-lit and airy sunroom full of very obvious cloning technology in the very expensive penthouse that Lex Luthor’s bodyguards just dragged a handcuffed Red Robin and Spoiler into after kidnapping them straight off patrol in the Diamond District in the middle of an active crisis situation with the League of Assassins and disabling all their tech and every single one of their trackers six and a half hours ago, down to the bastardized Kryptonian-tech ones in their back molars and two more in both of their suits that Tim didn’t even know existed, plus the one he put in Steph’s collar that she didn’t know existed. Babs is probably just about feral by now. Bruce is definitely feral by now. 

And Lex Luthor is drinking what appears to be a neon purple protein shake out of a rocks glass while sitting at a neatly-arranged desk in the center of the sunroom lab, looking idly bored and scrolling through whatever’s on his phone with his free hand. 

Alright then, Tim thinks carefully. 

“There you are, I was starting to wonder if I’d gotten al Ghul riled up for nothing,” Luthor says, barely glancing up from his tablet. 

“. . . which al Ghul,” Tim asks with wary dread. 

“All of them,” Luthor says, setting down his tablet to give him a pleasant smile. 

Well, now Tim knows why nobody’s dropped in a skylight to rescue them yet. And also why half of Gotham is currently on fire. 

“Uh,” Steph says, glancing around the sunroom lab. “So like, lead-lined glass in here, then, or . . . ?” 

“We’re in Connecticut, so no,” Luthor replies dismissively. “Anyway, the Boy Scout always gets suspicious of too much lead in one place. Which I personally find darling, since anyone in Metropolis without at least a lead-lined and soundproofed bedroom is essentially asking for Kryptonian voyeurs, whether intentionally or not on said Kryptonians’ parts. Also, privacy laws exist for a reason. As do patents, copyrights, attorney-client privilege, HIPAA . . .” 

“Connecticut?” Steph repeats incredulously. “What the frick is in Connecticut?” 

“Currently, us,” Luthor replies matter-of-factly. “Hope, Mercy, do me a favor and go check the security systems manually, just in case any invasive species of vermin have gotten into them. Also, yes, there is kryptonite, and no, there is actually much more than you’re theorizing.” 

“You have literally no idea how much kryptonite we’re theorizing,” Steph says as the bodyguards both leave with an affirming nod. Luthor gives her a pitying look, then turns his chair a few degrees towards Tim. Tim immediately expects the inevitable threat or ultimatum, and braces himself for–

“I’d apologize for all the fuss, but I don’t actually care about inconveniencing you and don’t see the point in pretending I ever would,” Luthor informs him. Tim stares blankly at him again. What is even happening right now? “Now then, what are your intentions in regards to ‘Supernova’, as I hear someone’s started calling himself now. ‘Themself’? I’m not sure if ‘Supernova’ is meant to be gender-affirming or more a ‘too old to stick with ‘Superboy’ but there are already three ‘Supermen’ active and the whole, you know, general stubborn individualism they’re so fond of. Or ‘he’s’ so fond of. Whichever."

Tim stares at him. 

“Is this supposed to be a trap for Supernova or a shovel talk for me?” he asks, because a) he’s not telling Lex Luthor anything about Kon’s gender or personal choices that Kon hasn’t publicly stated, and b) only Lex Luthor would actually kidnap two active vigilantes in the middle of a crisis he’d apparently pre-arranged to give a–well, no, Bruce would also do that, definitely. But this is not a Batman talk, either way. 

Batman’s “talks” all involve tests, for one thing, so actually so far this is an improvement. 

“It’s an engagement present,” Luthor says pleasantly. 

Tim’s brain crashes, then does the slowest reboot of his life. He’s recovered from concussions faster, he’s pretty sure. 

“They’re . . . not engaged, though?” Steph says skeptically. “Or, like, even dating?” 

“Red Robin’s commitment issues are his own problem, not mine. I’ve got a schedule to keep,” Luthor replies dismissively.

Sometimes reading Arthuriana feels like reading Alice in Wonderland.

“Well,” said Alice, “these are a dreadfully strange assortment of objects!”

“They all symbolize different aspects of Our Lord’s martyrdom,” said the Fisher King, casting a line into his teacup.

“Indeed. I am sure everything symbolizes something else, for if everything was only itself I should be very confused. Might I ask what the point of the bleeding lance is?”

Alice regretted asking the question as soon as she had done so, for she saw the pun that would likely be made about the word point. Instead, however, the room erupted in applause and shouts of “The Grail! She has achieved the Grail!”

The next castle she visited, Alice resolved to herself as the inhabitants of this one danced for joy, would be more sensible.

End of UtH fix-it where the bomb at the warehouse teleports Jason into the Adam West Batman show from the 60's. Jason's bleeding out when Robin finds him and fixes him with anti-hemorraghia spray and therapeutical fluting, and the general state of this universe is so absurd that it shocks him straight out of his episode. In the end they offer to adopt him and he decides he likes it better there and stays forever the one straight man in that universe, who comes to solve a situation with a really judgemental face like "you guys got tangled into a human knot of death? Again?". He also keeps shooting at people but it's fine because if he tells Bruce it was a "special technology fake death bullet" to trick the villains into surrendering Bruce just goes "okay makes sense" and doesn't investigate further.