"Amateur Psychoanalysis"

Reblogging for the daytime

CHARITY ART COMMISSIONS!

I’m opening 5 slots for 5x7in painted portrait commissions (in this style). Each piece is $45, $20 will be donated to @RAICESTEXAS, $20 will be donated to @AmazonWatch, $5 will be used for shipping the piece.

Email me at panicvolkushka@gmail.com or DM me

Patrons will receive the original painting, a high-res scan of the painting, and a screenshot receipt of the donation to RAICES and Amazon Watch.

You can make your own prints, put it on a shirt, use it as an avatar, as long as I’m credited. I will not sell prints of the pieces, I just ask that I’m able to post the image to my tumblr and other social media sites.

Sneak peek at a new technique I'm using for a comic that will debut at the @shortrunseattle

This scribbly ghostly mess will ultimately be a full-color twelve page comic book.

Trying to finish work for that while also moving!

My Etsy: LINK / My Ko-Fi: LINK

Dreamed that my backyard looked into a forest. In the yard, I saw what looked like a large stag.

When I looked closer, I saw that the stag had a human face. It only had one antler, which was held in place by a ribbon. Instead of hooves, at the end of it’s legs were spindly fingers. It didn’t walk with the ‘palm’ flat to the ground like an ape, it balanced on the very tips of it’s fingers, and it’s legs didn’t move, just the spindly fingers.

Had this dream after I had spent the day wondering what I would look like if I were a demon.

Dreamed that I was putting on make up. I used gold liquid eyeliner to write “Jesus loves me, this I know. Yes, Jesus loves me.” across my cheek bones. I put sparkly orange eyeshadow on my eyelids and the end of my nose.

Dreamed about A. R., a boy that emotionally abused me from 5th - 8th grade. He seemed threatening, but also like he was coming on to me. He stood behind me and slipped his hands up into my shirt. I reached back, grabbed him by the ears, flipped him over my shoulder, and while he was on the ground, I stomped on him. Very satisfying dream.

When he bullied (abused) me, teachers and other adults frequently told me that it must be because he had a crush on me. I was very, very aware that was not the case. He never made “positive” sexual remarks towards me, never showed a lick of attraction, he loathed me. And, it seemed, women/girls in general. My therapist had a theory that A. R. was deeply repressed and self-loathing concerning possible same gender attraction on his part. He never spoke of finding women attractive, was blatantly misogynistic and lesbophobic, and actively drove me away from mutual male friends.

Maybe I dreamed of him being sexually aggressive because I’m thinking of myself as a trans boy, recognizing that a male identity means I could possibly be an object of desire for A. R., as I never was in the past. And I still rejected him. And I did what I said, for years, I could have done with half a chance — kicked his ass.

!~Pretty Alien II~!

Here's the full body version of my Pretty Alien Sailor Moon. The tentacles on the face are sensory organs, but the tentacles on the chest and lower back are limbs. The tentacles evolved as a way to carry one's young and still have full use of one's hands. The opposable thumb on the feet is what gives the impression that Sailor Moon wears high heels. The "skirt," like the "collar," is a wattle that's inflated during mating displays.

I might revist this as a traditional painting...

My Etsy: LINK / My Ko-Fi: LINK

My struggle is being willing to let go of details, of not getting too “precious” with it. Getting there with that hand... still working too much into parts of the face.

I remember reading something where a guy noticed that one class of 5 year olds produced more aesthetically pleasing art than other classes. When asked why her students’ art had better compositions and color choices, the teacher replied “Because I know when to take the piece away.”

Trying to keep this in mind. Don’t overwork. Let things go. Take it away.

My Etsy:LINK / My Society6:LINK / My Ko-Fi:LINK

Quick doodles of faces and experimenting with marker and color pencil.

My Etsy: LINK / My Ko-Fi: LINK

replying to anon messages under the cut

Hey I just wanted to tell you that that Bart Chris Bobby counseling cartoon made my day as well as a buddy of mine. Just wanted to thank you

Thank you for messaging me!

No question, I just wanted to say that your strip "Clients’ names and personal information have been omitted to retain their privacy" was the coolest thing I've seen in a long, long time.  Really amazing!

Thank you!

Will you be making any more comics about Bart and Chris, perhaps going to more therapy sessions or digging a little deeper into their personal lives together?

I might? But probably not for awhile. I’ve drawn and posted everything that I’d already planned. I have several other art projects that I’m working on and my next quarter of grad school starts in a couple of days, so I’ll be very busy.

wow, the second half of the comic is just as incredible! the poly ending is so nice and feelgood, and the therapy setting is so cathartic I just. it's so good. thank you.

Aw, thank you! As much as I like dark, brooding, morally ambiguous movies, books, and comics, I’m still a sucker for happy endings. Especially for queer characters. And I feel like Bobby is the kind of person that could balance poly relationships pretty well.

i mean i love everything about your therapy comics but can i mention how much i love that joseph has an alien tattoo on his shoulder? that's my favorite part honestly

:D glad you like it! at first I just thought it would be cool, but then I was like “wow that’s actually really symbolic of joseph’s ethnic heritage and the bio father vs lived father conflict” and took it super seriously

hey can i ask you something? years ago i remember seeing a blog with a queer transgender man persona/self insert who wore a mask and i was deeply in love with that blog. was that you? i'm sorry if this is a weird or insulting question, its just your art styles seem very similar and this question was killing me

ahhh, yeeeah, that was me. I had some family find my art blog and so I took down all my personal comics. I may repost them at some point because it’s like, those family members have already seen them and I know they still check this blog, so cat’s already out of the bag or whatever. I didn’t want to change my blog name or my pen name because changing that 50 million time makes it kind of hard to develop a “brand” or reputation as an artist. glad you liked those comics tho.

trying not to have an anxiety attack with regard to... like... the world 

the cactus’ legs turned out a bit wonky, but I’m learning and experimenting

also, you can expect to see more dolls on here because uhhh... they're actually part of my master's thesis research.

My Etsy: LINK / My Ko-Fi: LINK

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a boogie man from my Southern childhood

I distinctly remember, at age five, seeing our family friend Stephen Wade tell the 'Taily-Po' story, accompanied by his banjo. I couldn't find a recording of that, but here's a clip of Mr. Wade doing his 'banjo dancing.'

My Etsy: LINK / My Ko-Fi: LINK