I want to see a fanfic where Harry hatches a basilisk.
I want to see a fanfic where he looks up “magical snakes” as soon as he gets to Hogwarts because that thing at the zoo always bugged him, and so the Trio works out that it’s a basilisk immediately after the first petrification in Second Year. But they don’t know how it’s getting around or where it is or anything, so Harry is just like WELP SET A BASILISK TO FIND A BASILISK while Hermione and Ron are like HARRY NO.
I want to see a fanfic where Harry sticks a chicken egg under a toad and makes all these plans about how he’ll talk to his huge deadly snake and get it eye-blinkers and shit so it doesn’t kill people and make sure it’s not too aggressive, and somehow it never occurs to his twelve-year old brain that the chicken egg has a total volume of about four tablespoons and he is not going to get the giant King of Serpents he is expecting.
I want to see a fanfic where it finally breaks out of the shell and Harry finds himself with a bb!basilisk too smol to even have the murder-eyes yet, who can only petrify someone for about half an hour before the effect wears off. She eats spiders and gets tired very easily and demands that he wear a hood she can curl up in and sleep.
(She is also the same vivid green as his eyes and already hideously venomous, but doesn’t like using her fangs because she says they get cold and give her brain freeze when she unsheathes them.)
I just… I really want Harry with a haughty, demanding, arrogant danger noodle who has an overinflated sense of her own importance, views Hedwig as a TERRIFYING MENACE because she isn’t big enough to eat owls yet and keeps up a steady stream of insults hissed in Harry’s ear whenever she’s near someone who has a Dark Mark (which she can sense at close range). And who is basically useless as a familiar because she refuses to slither across anything other than sun-warmed stones or Harry, hasn’t got a very powerful gaze yet and doesn’t like biting people.
(Except snake-arm-people. She finds snake-arm-people confusing and annoying, and would probably make an exception on the no-biting thing where they’re concerned.)
Everything saved as drafts cause i have no auto xorrect here and am too lazy to chevk
Off with their head!
No matter what George does. No matter if he twisted it into "Elia was ok and never felt humiliated nor used, and the Martells didn't mind what Rhaegar did" or if George decided never to talk about Elia. R x L will always be disgusting and not a tragic love story.
Any sane human being can see that.
Even in a creepy scenario where she was ok with it OR one where she didn't love Rhaegar, he will always be to blame, and he still used her.
That's why the R x L stand always try to either ignore her existence or reduce it into nothing and her into some kind of supernatural alien human that is ok with everything dirty done to her.
Because they know their oh so tragic, self insert true love story will always seem disgusting because of Elia's existence in the story.
No amount of excuses or fanarts will ever change this truth. No matter which characters George will make accepting and supporting of them (Ned, Arthur, Oberyn, Doran even Elia herself....ect). Why? Because it's unrealistic.
Even if R and L's were running away from Aerys, then suddenly *accidentally* saw a prophecy or fell in love.
OR Even if George made it that Rhaegar wouldn't have left her if she had been able to give him another child. It doesn't change that he abandoned her and their children in the worst way possible with no protection against Aerys and his loyal kingsguard. And even then, it's hard to believe she'd accept just because he told her : Hey, I see in my dreams that I have to have 3 children or we all die. Like, what is this? She almost died for that, no thanks to you and your one after another impregnation.
It's disgusting and not well-written at all.
That's just the plain truth.
That's why a huge part of the fandom dislikes it. Not because they "didn't read the books" or "they lack critical thinking".
It's actually because they know how to think instead of inserting themselves as not like other girls girl and shipping themselves with terrible husband and father, charismatic depressed prince charming.
Poor Rhaegar had a sense of doom following him and knew he'd die soon so Elia let him be? That's very idiotic.
No. Elia being fine with annulment or polygamy isn't normal unless she is forced to. And you know it.
Ya know, ya gotta wonder if there's quirks in BNHA whose activation conditions are just... Not possible for pre-pubesent kids? Stuff that's hormonally based or requires specific pathways to exist in their brains?
I would say that logically, given the spread of quirks we've seen in canon, the chances of this kind of thing being possible is very high.
Or, if not, it's only because the quirks themselves alter the individual so that the activation ingredients are present regardless of whether or not they technically should be as a type of inbuilt, quirk-related mutation type of thing that expresses itself even before the quirk is technically activated.
Town baker who's buff as hell from whisking every batter and kneading every dough by hand. And those who don't respect her at least have the common sense to fear her, because if you don't, she'll knead the air out of you, too. She's the first one in town to start selling gluten-free bread. Save for the one family who requested it from her, nobody in the town knows what the fuck gluten is. Nobody else is allowed to buy the gluten-free bread before she's made sure that this one family has gotten theirs.
Nobody else is entirely sure what gluten-free bread is, but if the baker says there's no fucking gluten in this bread, then that's final, that's all they know about gluten. Nobody knows how she takes it out of the bread, either, but the most popular theory is that she beats it out of the dough, somehow. She makes a dough and then beats the gluten out of it. Yeah, that's probably how these things work.
Once better information starts trickling into town, and people gain a better understanding of what celiac disease is and what gluten has to do with it. But the people do still agree that if anyone could beat the gluten out of bread, it would be their town baker.
behead, behead, behead elon musk from irl
now I COULD do a behead behead behead poll, but I want the satisfaction of getting to see the Behead sweep.
Hey did you know that you can’t escape fatphobia even after death? The article talks about how these donated bodies are used for first year anatomy students to study the body, and how the 'perfect' body for that should be 170-180 pounds.