Love Calling Myself A Dyke Like Yes I Am The Mean And Scary Lesbian They Warned You About On Tv

Women do not need to be in fear of harm or harassment to want a space to themselves.

This is something I’ve been thinking about a lot with the whole women’s only gym nightmare argument the past couple weeks. So much of it is focused on a back and forth of whether or not women are actually in much danger, and I’m going to go even more woke and say I think the danger is actually irrelevant to this question.

We shouldn’t have to prove that we’re terrified of being assaulted, shouldn’t have to cry and break down into an anxiety attack on camera as we relive our trauma to prove we deserve a space for ourselves. If we put our time and effort into building spaces for ourselves in this stupid fucking patriarchal world, we’re allowed to keep it solely for the reasoning of wanting to keep it. That’s enough.

The sense of entitlement towards women’s work genuinely needs to be studied.

I’m abt to hit the crash out phase I can feel it approaching

Worst part abt being Butch is realizing you look like a man under certain circumstances. Went to a rally today and it was cold so I was wearing my usual baggy jeans, an old biker’s jacket I got from the thrift, boxing wraps bc they help my circulation, a scarf and a mask, feeling great, until I realized I probably looked like a straight white man (terrifying thought) and wished I’d put a pride button or something on my jacket lmao

This argument is so frustrating to me, as someone who has also experienced both CSA and SA as a teen and adult.

With every other form of trauma, we know there’s a tendency to continue to try and replay the bad experience to see if it’ll be different this time. We also know that tendency is harmful because while it feels good to give into that temptation, it’s ultimately reinforcing the trauma in your mind and prolonging it’s ability to have a hold on you.

However that principle is suddenly forgotten when it comes to sexual trauma, I guess because of the “don’t kink shame” thing (which is a stupid rule to have because it leaves no room for nuance. I don’t care if your kink is rubbing ice cubes on your skin for temperature play, that has no risk. However some things do have risk and that’s why I criticize them).

Continuing to trigger your sexual trauma over and over again is only feeding the cycle. I don’t want to go into too much detail, but I know this from my own experiences in my teens. It’s a compulsion that needs to be starved off, and it can be very difficult to do that, but it’s what will ultimately help you move on, instead of just being stuck in a cycle of constant triggering to “desensitize” yourself. However I also know when your trauma is severe enough, you don’t really want to move on, so I wonder if they know deep down that they’re only prolonging this limbo, but they’re afraid of what’s outside of it.

I can’t excuse knowingly feeding into the cesspool of abuse that is pornography, however. If you truly feel you need this to process, at least try and find it through erotic writing or other forms that don’t have a risk of the person you’re getting off to actually being abused in real life.

wait so you're a rape victim and you actively support an industry that RAPES women? what kind-of mental disconnect is that? putting rape into the mainstream media sure as hell doesn't help with trauma but rather facilitates more of it. hot take but YOU just made a very uniformed take.

Ugh literally. Like as a writer and aspiring author myself (it’s my hope to get a novella self published within the next year, even if that’s just uploading it to Wattpad bc idk how I feel about self publishing through Amazon like many ppl do) I’m going to go out on a limb and say that reductionism isn’t even necessarily bad. It can be a literary tool, and the problem is overusing it, like any other literary tool. The reductionism of the one girl being different was supposed to make a sense of isolation easily understood by the reader, and oftentimes it wasn’t meant to be a direct mirror to real life. It depends on your audience and what you’re trying to do but I don’t even think it’s always bad.

And just as you said, nobody cares about reductionism unless it’s to point out a problem, reductionism that benefits the status quo is completely fine.

I know there are a lot of complaints about the “Not Like other girls” era of books aimed at women, some I disagree with, some I don’t. But I’m rereading one of those types of books right now (technically re-listening bc I’m using an audiobook but same idea) which I absolutely adored the first time I read, and honestly I kind of miss that time period.

Like sure it was reductionist at times, but at least the women were unabashedly themselves and pushed back against gender stereotypes. This book is set in a fantasy past based off of Medieval Germany (from what I can tell) and with that obviously comes the sexism of the period, and she had actually realistic feelings on the matter. She thinks about how she wishes she’s a boy because she wants to have a career, specifically a farrier or a hunter, and criticizes the fact that she’s living in a society in which her value is through marriage. She’s practical minded, she looks up to her father and male relatives because she wants the freedom they have, but also feels a sense of displacement and disgust from them because of their sexism, and in general just has so much more energy as a character than I often see in more mainstream books now. And she’s STILL a woman and eventually finds her power as a woman.

Idk this is just a personal pet peeve of mine but I don’t like our current idea of rejecting surface level femininity = rejecting womanhood, either positively or negatively. On the one side you get shamed for it because you’re a pick me, on the other side you get told you’re just a man. And it’s made characters really really bland.

(Also maybe I just am the problem, idk, but I have had the experience of feeling left out and not like my female peers growing up because they were content to uphold patriarchal ideals and I wasn’t. I still put up a good effort when it came to talking about crushes and doing all the fun sorts of “girly” things they liked, but I had trouble finding anyone who reciprocated that energy towards me when I wanted to talk about my interests that didn’t necessarily fall into that category. So imo there is a kernel of truth in the “not like other girls” stereotype, not because other girls are INHERENTLY bad, but because of how our current societal pressures work on young girls.)

Y’all I think that fuckin “spoon bread” person made a new account 😭😭😭 i already blocked them once and they’re back reblogging my posts with complete slop that’s genuinely impossible to read

A woman: So I recently developed ovarian cancer & I could sure use someone to talk to about it

Trancels on Tumblr: Um this is kinda problematic sweetie. Trans women dont have ovaries & ur sure being cissexist when u bring them up. Bringing up the cancer u have in an organ that’s exclusive to females is transphobic & by trying to discuss a womens’ issue youre basically saying you want all trans women to DIE, so uh…

And then people try to claim that it’s because being sapphic is “normalized in media” —you mean porn?? Being fetishized is not the same as being accepted, and it’s still incredibly dangerous. Sure maybe some men will ask you for a threesome and then get grumpy when you refuse and leave it at that (which is still sexual harassment) but many other times they get violent when you don’t fulfill their fantasies. Or they try corrective rape.

The real reason this happens is because our collective understanding of sexuality is phallocentric and a lot of people cannot fathom a healthy and fulfilling relationship between two women. Somehow a dick needs to be involved in some way.

Additionally, in terms of actual media, it is in general more accepted to be a homosexual man and gay men get more time, better story development, and way more attention from fans, as a general group.

You know how sometimes people act like homophobia toward women barely exists? I feel like that definitely plays into the way people act toward bisexual women vs men. Like men are oh so brave for coming out as bisexual and braving homophobia to be true to themselves and why would they lie about it when he could have saved face and stay closeted until he dated a man, how brave. vs with women it's like why would she even come out if she's not dating a woman, she's probably faking it for the clout (no mention of bravery for risking homophobia)

Adding onto this, “No Ethical Consumption Under Capitalism” started in the punk community/more radical leftist spaces (to my awareness) as a way to call awareness to the hidden exploitations of capitalism and urge you to look more deeply and be responsible with your actions. Sure that $65 shirt can be greenwashed and said that it was sewn in an ethical factory with well-payed workers and environmentally positive policies, but where did they get the fabric from?

It’s supposed to be a call out against the system, but then it somehow got twisted by shein-guzzlers to excuse their actions. It’s supposed to be, “The system is so fucked that we’re forced to rely on slave labor at every turn whether we like it or not, so let’s call it out and push for change and do what we can.” Not an excuse to joyfully profit off of the underpaid labor of thousands and claim that we’re all on the same level.

Leaving the house to get your Temu parcel from the mailbox and wallowing in porn is not actually fighting fascism so jot that down

i’d be in a much better mood if i was kissing a pretty girl right now but okay