Racercpl - RJ

Senior Sex

The husband leans over and asks his wife, “Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.”…

Yes, she says, “I remember it well.”

OK, he says, “How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time’s sake?”

“Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!”

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I’ve got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I’ll just keep an eye on them so there’s no trouble. So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn’t know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I’ve got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them, “Excuse me, but that was something else. You must’ve had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?”

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,

“Fifty years ago that wasn’t an electric fence.”

MAKE ME ADMIT STUFF

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? 2. You talked to an ex today, correct? 3. Have you taken someones virginity? 4. Is trust a big issue for you? 5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? 6. What are you excited for? 7. What happened tonight? 8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? 9. Is confidence cute? 10. What is the last beverage you had? 11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? 12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? 13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? 14. What are you going to spend money on next? 15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? 16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? 17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? 18. The last time you felt broken? 19. Have you had sex today? 20. Are you starting to realize anything? 21. Are you in a good mood? 22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? 23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? 24. What do you want right this second? 25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? 26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? 27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? 28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? 29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? 30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? 31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? 32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? 33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? 34. Listening to? 35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? 36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? 37. Do you believe in love at first sight? 38. Who did you last call? 39. Who was the last person you danced with? 40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? 41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? 42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? 43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? 44. Do you tan in the nude? 45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? 46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? 47. Who was the last person to call you? 48. Do you sing in the shower? 49. Do you dance in the car? 50. Ever used a bow and arrow? 51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? 52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? 53. Is Christmas stressful? 54. Ever eat a pierogi? 55. Favorite type of fruit pie? 56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? 57. Do you believe in ghosts? 58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? 59. Take a vitamin daily? 60. Wear slippers? 61. Wear a bath robe? 62. What do you wear to bed? 63. First concert? 64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? 65. Nike or Adidas? 66. Cheetos Or Fritos? 67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? 68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? 69. Ever take dance lessons? 70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? 71. Can you curl your tongue? 72. Ever won a spelling bee? 73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? 74. What is your favorite book? 75. Do you study better with or without music? 76. Regularly burn incense? 77. Ever been in love? 78. Who would you like to see in concert? 79. What was the last concert you saw? 80. Hot tea or cold tea? 81. Tea or coffee? 82. Favorite type of cookie? 83. Can you swim well? 84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? 85. Are you patient? 86. DJ or band, at a wedding? 87. Ever won a contest? 88. Ever have plastic surgery? 89. Which are better black or green olives? 90. Opinions on sex before marriage? 91. Best room for a fireplace? 92. Do you want to get married

Ask Me Anything? ;)

1. What tends to feel better for you, sex or masturbation? 2. Your 5 favorite spots to be stimulated. 3. Have you ever had your prostate stimulated? 4. Have you ever had an orgasm from anywhere other than your genitals? 5. Do you prefer clitoral or vaginal stimulation? 6. Can you touch your clitoris directly, or does that hurt? 7. Are you well-acquainted with your G-spot? 8. Are handjobs boring, or underrated? 9. Do you like having your balls touched? 10. Do you like having your nipples touched? 11. Do you like having your anus touched? 12. Have you ever been fisted (anally or vaginally)? 13. Do you like mild roughness (scratching, spanking, hair-pulling, etc.)? 14. Do you have any kinks? 15. Are you into anything under the BDSM umbrella? 16. Do you pee in the shower? 17. Do you ever masturbate in the shower? 18. Have you had sex in the shower? 19. Do you like being naked? 20. Do you sleep partially/fully naked? 21. Have you ever skinny dipped? 22. What’s the most unusual thing you’ve done nude? 23. Have you ever to a nude beach, naked party, or other situation involving casual nudity? 24. Are you comfortable being seen partially/fully naked by family or friends (i.e. getting dressed, etc.)? 25. Are you comfortable with partners seeing you nude in non-sexual contexts? 26. Have you ever showered with someone (non-sexually)? 27. Do you care if a partner sees you going to the bathroom? 28. Do you have naked pictures/videos of yourself? If yes, have you sent them to anyone? Are they online? 29. How many sexual partners have you had? 30. How often do you masturbate? 31. Age you started masturbating? How did you discover/learn about it? 32. What position do you typically masturbate in (laying on back, on stomach, sitting up, etc.)? 33. Describe your masturbation routine, technique, etc. 34. What do you masturbate to (porn, smut, imagination, etc.)? 35. Have you ever masturbated to the point you got sore? 36. Your thoughts the first time you got up close and personal with the opposite set of genitals? 37. Have you ever “compared” (genitals, breasts, whatever) with a friend? 38. What kind of underwear do you normally wear? 39. Do you ever go commando? 40. Have you ever had a wet dream/orgasmed in your sleep? 41. How big is your penis? 42. Does your penis curve at all? 43. Which testicle hangs lower? 44. How big are your breasts? 45. Do you long or short labia? Are they even or uneven? 46. Do you have a particularly large or tiny clitoris? 47. Are you circumcised or no? Are you happy with it? 48. Are you turned on or off by foreskin, or don’t care? 49. What are you more into (or like more about yourself), boobs or butts? 50. Do you find genitals physically attractive, or weird/gross, or not feel strongly either way? 51. Do you like the way your genitals look? 52. Would you be able to pick out your genitals from a lineup? 53. Do you like your butt? 54. What do you do with your pubic hair (shave, trim, wax, nothing, etc.)? 55. Do you care/have a preference what partners do with their pubic hair? 56. Do you tuck your penis a certain way (i.e. left or right) when you get dressed? 57. Do you have or want any genital piercings? Do you like any on other people? 58. What is the quickest you’ve ever brought yourself (or been brought) to orgasm? 59. Do you ever “edge” (repeatedly stop and start) when masturbating? 60. What’s the longest masturbation session you’ve had? Longest sex session? 61. What’s the most orgasms you’ve had in one session (of anything)? 62. Do your orgasms tend to be full-body, or crotch-centric? 63. Spit or swallow? 64. When you ejaculate, do you more shoot or dribble? 65. Is it hot or gross to get ejaculated on? 66. Do you “squirt?” 67. Have you ever attempted (or succeeded) to give yourself oral? 68. Have you ever given/received a footjob, boobjob, etc.? 69. Have you ever had sex in a public place? 70. Have you ever had sex in a bed/on a couch that didn’t belong to either of you? 71. Have you ever had sex/masturbated while somebody was sleeping near you? 72. How many rooms of your house/apartment/etc. have you had sex in? 73. Strangest/most unique place you’ve had sex? How about masturbated? 74. Have you had any sexual experiences that were downright gross? 75. Are you particularly “vocal” when masturbating/having sex? 76. Have you ever been caught masturbating/having sex? 77. Have you had or do you want to have a threesome (or foursome, or more)? 78. Do you own any sex toys? 79. Have you ever used a homemade sex toy, or a regular object as a sex toy? 80. Can a dildo feel as good as a penis (assuming the person with the penis is good at what they do)? 81. What are your favorite positions? 82. Your most embarrassing sexual experience? 83. Worst place/time you’ve ever gotten a boner? 84. Have you ever had any genital injuries? 85. Have you ever had a sexually transmitted infection? 86. Have you ever had a non-sexually transmitted genital infection (yeast infection, etc)? 87. If you lack a penis, have you ever tried to pee standing up? 88. If you lack a penis, how familiar are you with how you look down there? 89. Do you think you’re “good” at sex, or your performance/skill could use improvement? 90. Have you “sexted” (whether through text messaging or IM chat)? 91. Have you masturbated for or with someone via webcam? 92. Have you have phone sex? 93. If you had the opposite set of genitals for a day, name 5 things you would do. 94. What’s something you like about your body? 95. What’s something you dislike about your body? 96. What body parts do you find the sexiest? 97. What was your most recent sexual thought? 98. Do you ever just play with your boobs, penis, labia, etc.? 99. When was the last time you touched your genitals? 100. Do you often imagine people naked?

Hehehehe

Fuck yeah she is!!

Southern Indiana!!

If you are from Indiana reblog this so I can follow you

tattoos -

Sen-s-ual Questionaire

1. How was your first kiss? Tell us about it

2. How often would you have sex in your ideal world?

3. What’s your self-love routine?

4. What makes you feel comfortable during sex?

5. What makes you feel anxious/stressed/nervous about/during sex? (let’s start normalizing these things, we all feel them)

6. What keeps you in the moment while having sex? How do you connect to your body while at it?

7. Where do you like to be touched most? Do you like the touch to be hard/soft/variable/repetitive?

8. Describe your perfect kind of sex in ONE word! 

9. Do you use drugs/other substances to alter your experience during sex? Do you enjoy sex without them as well? 

10. Do you prefer monogamous or non-monogamous (polyamorous/open) relationship styles? 

11. Which kind of sexual encounter sounds most exciting to you right now (hook up/one night stand/threesome/orgy/masturbation etc.)?

12. Do you need emotional connection for sex (to be good)?

13. Describe a sexual/romantic fantasy you had before you had sex for the first time (if you can’t remember, describe one you had a few years ago) and one you have now!

14. Do you like hierachial structures during sex?

15. Do you like to be more dominant, submissive, switch or neutral in sex play?

16. Do you feel supported in your sexual preferences by friends/society/your partner(s)?

17. Do you feel like it’s okay for you to enjoy non-conforming sexual practices/roles in our heteronormative, patriarchic society? Or do you feel like gender roles stand in your way of sexual liberation?

18. Have you ever experienced guilt or shame around your sexuality?

19. Do you enjoy communication during sex or do you prefer to not talk?

20. What sexual/romantic act have you always wanted to try, but haven’t been sure if you’d enjoy it/didn’t know how to do it?

21. Do you feel pleasure in receiving pain?

22. Do you feel pleasure in causing pain to your partner(s)?

23. How do you check in with your partner(s) during sex? How do you establish consent (any fun/playful ways maybe)?

24. Describe the relationship you have to your genitals in ONE word? 

25. Do you enjoy using sex toys? How many do you have?

26. If you could invent the perfect sex toy for you, how would it look like/what could it do (get creative)? 

27. Do you enjoy being restrained/tied up? How does this practice makes you feel/why do you enjoy it?

28. Are you into BDSM? Why do you enjoy it?

29. What has been the funniest sexual encounter/experience you had? 

30. How do you feel about sex in public? Do you like to watch or be watched? 

31. Ever been to a Swinger Club? If no, would you?

32. Do you enjoy cyber sex? Sexting, cam sex, telephone sex etc.?

33. What does your after-sex/after-care routine look like?

34. Have you ever felt so emotionally overwhelmed/physically overstimulated that you cried during sex?

35. Have you ever tried tantra or breathing exercises/meditation during sex? [If not, do it, it will change your life :) ]

36. How do you engage in safer sex? Do you talk with your sexual partner(s) about contraception/STD’s before sex or even at all?

37. What kind of porn do you enjoy? 

38. Do you have any fetishes and if so can you remember, since when you consciously knew of them?

39. Are you happy with your sex life at the moment? If not, what would you like to change about it?

40. How do you define sex (does foreplay/oral/cuddling etc. fall into the definition)?

41. What unconventional sex practices do you find alluring? 

42. Have you ever tried anal play? Did you enjoy it? What made it enjoyable?

43. Is there anything off-limits for you when it comes to sex? If so, what is it?

44. Do you like to be called a specific term during sex (e.g. babygirl, daddy, sir etc.)? Does calling your partner(s) a specific term, turn you on? If so which term it it?

45. How do you navigate disagreements/discrepancies surrounding sex with your partner(s)?

46. Which senses turn you on the most - touch, visuals, sound, smell, taste?

47. What does your sexual routine looks like and what would you do, if you had to do the exact opposite of that?

48. What other life activities can give you an equal amount of pleasure like sex does? 

49. What tip(s) would you give others in regards to having amazing sex?

50. No question, just wanted to leave a little reminder: You are worthy of love. You are worthy of fulfilling your desires. You’re perfectly beautiful and desirable the way YOU ARE. No matter what your sexuality is, how your body looks like (it definitely is beautiful and holy either way), what gender-identity you have, what kind of kinks you have, if you have a partner or how many partners you have, if you like to not have sex, if you have a lot of different sexual encounters or none at all, if you’re in a monogamous or non-monogamous relationship - YOU ARE AN AMAZING HUMAN WORTHY OF LIFE AND LOVE 🖤

Compiled this Sex Questionaire, that is a bit unusual and different, in hopes to make the Tumblr Community a bit more colorful and positive ! Some of these questions are my own, others are inspired by the amazing compilation from Shrimp Teeth, you can find down below. Share and support ! *Please do not remove the caption*

https://www.instagram.com/p/B-uqu26JIO2/