Guys

Me, trying desperately to not seem overly eager to call them whilst showing some excitment:

Don't be suspicious, don't be suspicious, don't be suspicious, don't be suspicious, don't be--

they called me The Name™️ ajdhdjs i camt theyre adorable and such a nerd and so am i

my strategy plan for cleaning my room bc i have executive dysfunction and im trying to beat it

first step : MUSIC!!!! LOUD AS FUCK BRO!!!!!!!!! NOONES STOPPING U!!! (except for ur parents but who cares theyre the ones who r forcing u to clean in the first place if their fragile hearts get upset what fuck do i give) ok next u set a reward which would be u get to play ur new games!!! yay!!! doesnt that sound cool!!!

second : DUMP EVERYTHING ON THE FLOOR ONTO UR BED!!!!!!!!!! why? because it makes me HAVE to clean it up or i wont be able to sleep. good strategy i'd say

third: sweep sweep and vacuum yaayayyayay floors r clean now hooray!!!!!!!

fourth: dump everything on ur desks or shelf or wtv onto ur bed and then clean those too!!!!!! yay now they're clean too!!!!!!!

BREAK TIME!!!!!!!!!! HAVE A SNACK!!!! MAKE UR FAV DRINK IDC!!!!!!!!!

fifth: now u have to deal with... The Pile...but no worry!!!! we'll handle it like that unpacking game. you take one thing out, choose where to store it.. and put it there!!! then u do that with everythign else and youll be done in no time!!!

sixth: hm.... somethings not right... okay so take a step out and go back in and if something looks wrong u fix it. it doesn thave to be perfect!!! youve just gotta be happy with it.

and that's... it? i'm done??? that's so cool!!! im so proud of myself aaaaaaa thisis so great

Fuck this one hits home.

Okay fuck it if this post reaches 666k notes by the end of 2023 I'll practise basic self care

Why 666k? Because it's funny and impossible so good fucking luck

Neon Pink Shoelaces $12.00

For you, Mr. President.

Laces are 58 inches long. 85% polyester and 15% cotton.

Good fucking luck op

Okay fuck it if this post reaches 666k notes by the end of 2023 I'll practise basic self care

Why 666k? Because it's funny and impossible so good fucking luck

yk it's not great when you tell ur mum that ur hearing more voices and her reaction is "well at least this ones nice" lol

TW// dream suicide attempt

I think it definitely says something about my mental state that my first impulse(s) when I realised I was dreaming last night was to a) have sex with almost every person in my dream and then b) jump off the balcony of my hotel to "see what it felt like" 🙃