I Fucking Can't Right Now Guys-

Dungeon Meshi’s Lady Monsters

10x10cm

watercolour

In 1944 a kitten named George (short for General Electric) was saved from drowning by a U.S. Navy crew member. George was then photographed and given a liberty card and detailed health record. Source.

Simeon: MC, are you scared? MC: Actually, years of trauma and fighting for my life against mental and physical abuse and isolation have pretty much burnt out my adrenaline response to situations like this and left me without the ability to feel normal reactions and emotions. Simeon: Wh... What? MC: I said "I'll be fine."

Hahahaha yes:)))​

people will bring up the fictional murder as if i had anything to do with it or could stop it. like i’m not aware. “you know this freak KILLS people right?” man what do you want me do about that. i’m not his keeper. he’s funny to observe. and also not real

this one’s a few days late due to having a lot of doctors appointments sorry it’s  just 9 pages, and about some rats… it’s more symbolic than anything really

(it’s completely unrelated to any of my songs that have to do with “puzzleboy”) Patreon: www.patreon.com/PengoSolvent

I hate in books when it’s like enemies to lovers and the person is like “he was so rude to me… gah I wish he wasn’t so stupid hot!!! I hate him!!!” It’s like when someone is mean to me their face instantly becomes ugly and their features haggard and they crumble into stone. Idk what the hell you guys are talking about

"I used to love you actually..."

Brothers react to MC saying they used to love them and don't anymore

"There's no way that's true! You're all wrong!" Asmo was screaming in the main room. You walked into the room with a look of inquiry.

"Asmo's making a scene about your love interests again, MC." Levi complained.

"Alright what seems to be the question now?" You ask, rolling your eyes to the sky. The sooner you answer, the lesser they fight.

"He was wondering if you ever fell in love with someone the first year you came to Devildom. Even a little crush." Satan explained, the eagerness in his own voice was heard clearly.

"Oh that? Well yes I did. And then I got over it I guess? Like it lasted pretty long but it was only a one sided love so I doubted if it would work and then lost feelings." You answer nonchalantly.

Everyone's faces lit up and then hung down disappointed. Who could be that unlucky?

"And who was that poor bastard?!" Mammon laughed to mask his nervousness inside.

"Hmm it was you, actually. I used to be in love with you." You pointed to one of them, shrugged your shoulders and left the room.

Lucifer

Pride rose and fell in his heart like the tides. As you left the room, he was conflicted if he should confront you now or later.

He decided it to be later.

It was easy to tell why you would fall in love with him - but it was the falling out that he didn't see coming.

"MC, may I have a moment with you?" He asks, reaching for your hand. You nod and follow him into his study.

"About what you said earlier." Lucifer gets to the point directly. "Please elaborate."

"Well I suppose I found it attractive how you protective you are of your brothers, and how you carried all the pain all my yourself. And also how graceful, meticulous and hardworking you are. That made me fall for you." You said.

Lucifer blushed under his hand that covered his mouth as if to show he's deep in thought.

"Then what changed?" His voice was smaller now. Unsure.

"You tried to kill me. Thrice. Almost broke my hand while dancing. Almost killed me, your own brother and a baby angel. And again when I freed Belphie." You had no emotion in your voice when you spoke. "So naturally you can see why the attraction wore off?"

Lucifer fell back on his chair, grabbing a fistful of his own hair. Of course. How easily he'd forgotten all the pain he inflicted on you.

"If you're satisfied, may I leave now?" You said, already standing near the door. Lucifer shot up from his seat.

"Not yet, please." The Avatar of Pride knelt and bowed his head. "Will you give me a second chance, MC? To prove myself to be better?"

"Is this because you still see Lilith in me?" You said, "Because if yes, I'd rather you don't go through all that trouble."

"NO!" Lucifer grabbed your hand, pressing it to his temple, "I- I apologize. Please. Let me redeem myself to you, for YOU, MC."

Mammon

Mammon's face fell at the sound of his name. He wanted to be happy that you liked him but then... He lost you.

No it's not fair. No he cannot lose you without a fight.

He didn't even get to reciprocate your affection. He wouldn't let this be.

"MC! Wait! WAIT!" Mammon ran after you and caught up to you half way into your room. You let him in and he sat on the bed, stuttering.

"Was that for real? What you said? You loved me and then not anymore?" Mammon's voice trailed off at the end.

"I liked how you always wanted me for yourself. And how protective and shy you were. And how you never bothered to use your powers against your brothers even though you are second born. You never even threatened me like them. It felt safe to be around you." You say looking outside the window.

Mammon shifted in his seat, fidgeting with the folds of the bedsheet, looking at you intently. How he just wanted to go over and hold you. But he knew you weren't done talking.

"But then... You started giving me mixed signals. Constantly calling me a stupid human and all. It was endearing at first, but it got tiring. If you aren't clear about your feelings for me - I wouldn't force mine on you. So I kept my distance and got over it." You sighed.

Mammon's heart steeled in his chest. He knew exactly what he had to do. Getting up, he snuck behind you and wrapped his arms around you.

"M-Mammon?" You swayed in his grasp as you felt his heartbeat against your back.

"I love you, MC." He said loud and clear. "I love ya and I was never unclear about it. And I'm sorry I didn't say it sooner. All the times I accidentally said it - I meant it. I swear I meant it!" He was desperate at this point, nuzzling and breathing in your scent as if you were about to disappear.

"Are you sure? You won't regret it later?" You said turning around and facing him.

"I WON'T! My biggest regret is that I lost your heart without even knowing. I know I've been nothing but a stupid scumbag, but I really do love you, MC. And I want you back."

Leviathan

It took him a while to register when you said his name. He almost squealed in suprise before he realized what MC had meant.

What was he thinking? Of course you would lose feelings for a gross shut in otaku like him, he was always a lost cause wasn't it-

He has no hope of winning you back but he had this itching need to know why you loved him in the first place.

"MC...will you come to my room? Just for a while. I won't waste too much of your time." Levi had texted and you obliged.

You even knocked and said the password just to humor him. He didn't even ask for it. And that somehow made it worse for his heart.

"Was that true MC? What you said? You like...liked me?" He glanced at your face illuminated blue by the room.

You stood by the aquarium, gliding your finger on the glass, following Henry's trail. "Yes it's true. You were so excitable and passionate about the things you love. And you are so talented too. Drawing, gaming and designing dresses - our plays would be nothing without you. The fact that you fight with Mammon over money and yet lend to him over and over. The way you're so shy but then open once you trust someone. I liked all that. In fact I loved it."

Levi's head felt dizzy with emotion. While the blood rushed to his cheeks at your words, his heart anticipated the worst. "...and then?"

"And then you turned on me. For some stupid quiz. Then you assumed I liked everyone else but you. I realised we weren't even friends. Because friends don't frequently doubt and guilt each other. I was never your Henry no matter how badly I wanted to be. So I fell out of it I guess. Are we done here?" You crossed your arms looking directly at him.

The tall demon collapsed on his knees, all shame and dignity forgotten, violently sobbing as he wrapped his arms around your waist. His tears seeped through your t-shirt as he apologized and called himself stupid over and over.

"Levi...get up! What are you-" You said, taken back by his sudden outburst.

"No MC! I'm afraid I may never be able to tell you otherwise! I loved you from the first time you learnt and uttered my password. I wanted you all to myself but seeing my brothers... How could I of all people deserve you? And I was selfish and I shut you out thinking you'll never like me back BUT I WAS STUPID! I WAS SO STUPID MC! I take it all back! I want to redo please! Can we just refresh and start new?! Please?!"

Satan

Satan longed and dreaded the sound of his name fall from your lips. And when he did, he stared at you unblinking.

He felt a sinking feeling in his chest and he didn't know what it was. Only that he needed to know everything you felt for him. Then and now.

"MC." He held your hand lightly, moments after you left the room. "Come with me for a while, please?"

He guided you to his room. You sat down, running your hands over the pages of a book that lay open on his pillow. He couldn't take his eyes off your candlelit face.

"I need to know...more. When, why, everything. About what you just said. Please." Satan looked to you like a lost kitten.

"Initially...it was just your charms. The way you smiled and acted like a gentleman. It intrigued me. And then I saw your real smile when a stray kitten fell asleep on your shoulder. And I heard you talk on and on about your favourite stories and TV dramas. I saw how kind you are to everyone despite your sin. Before I knew it, I was in love."

You said softly, still palming his books as if you were palming his head instead.

Satan felt his room grow smaller. Suddenly there wasn't enough air for the two of you to breathe. He tugged at his collar, waiting patiently for you to continue.

"And then you threatened me into making a pact with you. Just to irk Lucifer. Pacts were meant to be a bond of love and trust. Not to spit in the face of someone you hate. But I realised...even if by some miracle, you learnt to love me back - your hate for Lucifer would always triumph over your love for me. That was enough for me to lose all hope."

You sighed and closed the book. "Need I say more?" Satan sat frozen in time, realizing the worst of himself. But he came to his senses before you could open the door.

"MC, wait, no." Satan caged you within his arms against the door. His eyes looked dewy. "Don't leave yet. Something hurts. Like something has been ripped out. What is this feeling MC?"

"That's probably the heart break I felt. You'll get used to it. Humans feel it almost all the time." You say.

"But it seems to go away when you're here. It seems less painful. I know I have a lot to fix about myself. But I have become better than before right MC? You taught me all the good emotions right? Can I not make you feel better anymore? Won't you please ...atleast let me show you how much I've loved you all this time?"

Asmodeus

His favourite sound in the world was your voice calling his name. But now he hated it.

No..no..NO! This isn't.. This isn't how it was supposed to be. Everyone loves him. But if you don't - what's the point??

Asmo went into shock mode for the whole day. He returned at night, knocking on your door, drunk like a fish."Tell me you didn't mean that. Please tell me you didn't mean that MC."

He stumbled into your arms the moment you opened the door, sending you both falling on the carpeted floor.

"MC why...? What did I do MC? Why don't you love me anymore?" Asmo was pleading, gripping you tight.

You ran your fingers in his hair as he sobbed onto your chest. "It was easy to love you. You were the nicest to me from the first day. Albeit it was always flirty - there was something sweet and innocent about you. And I was drawn to it. And your Beauty was just an added bonus. You made me feel better about my self. I loved you for being the funniest and liveliest of them all."

Asmo's cries stopped for a moment, feeling the comfort of your words. But then started with double the intensity when he realised what was about to come. "So why won't you love me anymore, MC..."

"You demand to be my first when I'm not yours. I've seen you come home with a different succubi on each arm. And I can't blame you for it either - you are cursed to be this way after all. It would be painful for both of us, so I controlled myself and sqaushed whatever I felt. Do you understand now?" You said, coaxing yourself out of his embrace.

He only held on tighter. His warm tears now rolling off the bare skin of your neck and collar bones.

"I didn't ask to be this beautiful. What's the point of it - if the person I love most won't love me for it? I'll destroy it MC." Without notice he reached up and grabbed a pair of scissors from a low table about to cut open his face.

"ASMO! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING-" You snatch it back and throw it to the other side of the room.

"Please love me again, MC. I'll do anything. I'll destroy this face if it threatens disloyalty. I'll touch noone but you. Please don't leave me alone again MC. I love you so much, you're the only one who ever knew me last this made up face! Please don't take that away from me!"

Beelzebub

Beel didn't know how to feel when he heard his name. All that he realised was that the sandwiches he was eating suddenly lost all its taste.

His face fell at the growing emptiness within him. This time it was his chest rather than his stomach.

"MC can I come in?" Beel knocked on the door a few hours later. You welcomed him in. He sat on the floor, twiddling his thumbs.

"MC, about what you said..." He started, "...does that mean you don't want to see me anymore? I didn't understand..."

You sat next to him, facing the opposite direction, your eyes focused on a burger plushie he'd bought you months ago.

"You protected me from Lucifer twice. Even from Satan and Asmo sometimes. You would always save snacks for me after you'd raided the fridge. And you called me to work out just to spend more time with me. Your face lit up when I tasted and loved your favourite foods. It was hard not to love you." You smiled sardonically.

Beel looked at you hopefully. "So does that mean you don't mind- oh wait, you're not finished talking..."

You nodded and continued. "But then you lose control sometimes don't you? You almost ate when Mammon force fed me your custard. Threatened to eat me even when I first arrived. When you do lose control and take a bite out of me someday, I'm afraid your guilt will eat you up too. And I couldn't even help you, could I? I'm only a human. So I believe it's for the best that we spend lesser time to together."

Beel's head hung so low on his shoulders, it looked like he'd grown smaller. And yet he dared himself to do one last thing.

He reached out and wrapped his pinky finger around yours. "What if I promise MC? I promise you that will never happen. You can use the pact to push me away whenever you feel like I threaten you - but please don't avoid me. I feel worse pains than hunger whenever you're not around. Please MC."

Belphegor

Wait what? Was that his name he heard? He wouldn't be surprised if the question was who MC likes least...but you loved him before?

All sleep left his eyes when realised the implications. Finally his sins were catching up to him.

"MC if you're not asleep...come meet me in the planetarium. I'll be waiting." He called out through your door late night and left.

You were wide awake so you did as he asked. He patted the blanket next to his for you to sit.

"So...you loved me, huh? How did that happen?" He teased, nudging your arm as you stared upwards at the twin stars sparkling overhead.

"When I used to sneak up to the attic to meet you. I liked how you wanted to hear stories about your brothers, especially Beel. Or when you gave me prank ideas to pass onto Satan and asked me to take credit. How you dearly spoke of Lilith and Beel's stories of the Celestial realm. I liked how witty and quick you were. I fell for it and didn't realize... until.."

Belphie's throat felt dry and choked knowing exactly what you were about to say.

"Until you killed me. Death itself was easier to handle than the betrayal. So I decided that if ...or when you decide to kill me again, or call me by Lilith's name, I'd rather not feel heartbroken about it. I'll be leaving now." You were about to sit up when his arms engulfed you.

It wasn't a iron grip. It was more like a baby trying to hold on to its guardian. "I won't ever hurt you again. I swear on my life and both those stars you see."

"Did you just swear on Beel's star too...." You watched as he crawled closer and trying to look for warmth.

"Yes. Yes I did. I know you shouldn't ever trust me after what I did." His voice cracked, "But I promise you on Beel's life that I'll be better. Because I mean it. I would swear on all the stars in the Devildom skies. Your loveless eyes are cold - please look at me with warm eyes again. Please don't shut me out in the cold, MC. Please give me your warmth one last time?"

The Welsh Viking is pretty cool! 

Should’ve read the fine print...

Minors DNI

Warning(s): NSFW, dubcon

Fem!Reader

Authors Note: First time; necessary feedback, pls! Taking requests!

It’s been about a week since you’ve moved into your new apartment. Everything about it was perfect except for one thing: you’ve explored every room but one, which was locked for some reason. (If only you had read the entire catalog ad, you would’ve understood why and that all past tenants never stayed too long). You complained about it to your landlord, who hired a locksmith free of charge, thankfully. This is what your actions have come to, sadly: you, standing before hundreds of slimy, purple tentacles, coming from all around the mystery room.

You try and back away quietly toward the door in hopes of being able to leave unnoticed. Pitifully, the floorboards creek(damn, this shitty building). The tentacles immediately move in your direction as you run for the door, only to be blocked off by more tentacles. They push you to the ground and squeeze around your arms and legs, probing at your torse.

They’re not hurting you; they seem pretty curious, actually. The tentacle's touch is soft and gentle. One tentacle stops at your face...it’s...caressing your cheek? Their touches were seemingly affectionate at first but quickly became provocative. They began to slip under your clothes, feeling you up.

Again, their touch was gentle but still violating nonetheless; they groped your breasts, sucking on your nipples and coiling around them. You try and keep as much dignity you have left, biting your lip to hold back your moans. The tentacles seem to sense your defiance and dislike it very much. They tear through your clothing, leaving only your thin panties to cover you. They curl around your thighs, spreading your legs to tease you, rubbing against your clothed cunt, and nuzzling your clit; their suckers find it and abuse the little bundle of nerves.

A blissful whine escapes your lips; you can’t remember the last time you felt this good. The tentacles stroke your body with satisfaction, assumingly rewarding you for your submission. You can feel yourself getting wetter by the second. Your sense of dignity is long gone by now; you’re a wailing mess. Hair sticking to your sweat-coated skin, tear-filled eyes rolled up into your head, and while your mouth hangs open with a bead of drool leaking from the side.

The tentacles can sense your arousal, not to mention your drenched underwear. They move your panties to the side and continue to toy with your aching pussy, stroking your wet hole and sucking on your sore clit until you cum.

The tentacles let you catch your breath, lovingly massaging your body. Soon enough, you’re suspended in the air as more tentacles hold you, creating a makeshift bed to place you comfortably. Another tentacle approaches your face again, latching itself to your mouth and pushing past your lips to curl around your tongue. Is this its way of kissing you? Is it showing affection?

It’s a bit gross, but the tentacles mean well. Your body suddenly jolts as you feel a tentacle push against your sopping hole. It uses its suckers to tease you again, but as you grind yourself against it, the tentacle penetrates you, pressing against your walls to search for your sweet spot. The tentacle in your mouth begins to thrust in and out as you feel another tentacle enter your ass. The tentacle in your pussy moves rhythmically with the others as it’s sucker hit your g-spot. At this point, your mind is nothing but mush. All you see are white spots as your legs quake under the tentacles, unable to hold yourself up longer.

The tentacles wrap around your waist and lift you. You’re now ass up, face down, and being fucked mercilessly in all three holes. You can’t take it; it’s too good, too much, too many. You feel more tentacles enter your already full holes. Doesn’t this monster know you have a limit?

It doesn’t care, really. All it wants is to see you cum, and cum, again. You can feel yourself getting dizzier after each orgasm, one after another. Before you know it, you’re waking up from your fucked out haze. The tentacles seemed to have stopped fucking your brains out a while ago; they’re all curled up around your protectively, some still inside you. You try and crawl towards the door, but you’re body is useless at this point.

The tentacles drag you back to them, curling around to massage your worn-out body. It seems you won’t be leaving this room any time soon...or ever.

...

Might as well move your stuff in here.