An Orphan Develops The Habit Of Talking To The Moon As If It Were A Parent—just Telling It About Their

An orphan develops the habit of talking to the moon as if it were a parent—just telling it about their day, and occasionally announcing milestones in their life, like their admission to college. Unbeknownst to them, the moon has been listening all along, and it's so very proud.

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2 months ago

can he sit on your dash for a minute?? he'll be very polite :]

Can He Sit On Your Dash For A Minute?? He'll Be Very Polite :]
2 months ago

Useless Facts about ImpulseSV: the post

Welcome to “Useless Facts about Impulse”. The title says it all. I am Eluminium, that one fuck who decided to watch every single Impulse hermitcraft season and actually fucking did it, and I have a bunch of completely useless knowledge from it now. AND I SHALL SHARE IT WITH YOU SO YOU TOO MAY ALSO BE ENLIGHTENED! Also cuz i’m bored as shit (Btw i’ll probably keep adding onto this post as I remember or gain more useless knowledge) People who’ve blessed this post with more facts: @bucket-of-amethyst  @tsukinouta  LET THE FACTS BEGIN! First addition of facts: August 7th 2022

-Out of every single base Impulse has constructed on Hermitcraft, 3 and a half of them have featured water as a major design element. These would be the City of Atlantis (S5), iBay (S6), The Pyramid (S7), and the half is his “starter base” temple (S3).  (I count it as a half because he spent a considerable amount of time designing it but it isn’t his main base so to say.) -Impulse has two seasons of Hermitcraft that are the exact same lenght in terms of episodes, these being S3 and S4, both having 57 episodes. -Impulse’s longest season is S6 with 113 episodes, and his shortest is S8 with 35 episodes -Out of every base Impulse has built, only 2 of them do not feature his logo on the inside or outside in it’s final design. These are iBay (S6) and The Pyramid (S7)

-Impulse is shorter then Bdubs IRL. Bdubs claims to be 5′10 while Impulse claims to be 5′8. This makes fanon extremely hilarious

-In S4, the safe rooms Impulse and Tango constructed in the Wither Skeleton farm were called “The Sissy Room”, but only for one episode. After that it’s never mentioned again.

-Impulse’s wife (Ms. Impulse) has never touched Minecraft because she’s an interior designer and would most likely disappear off the face of the Earth if she ever let herself play the game. It hasn’t stopped Impulse from trying a few times though.

-Impulse has a habit of biting off more than he can chew. In 4 out of 7 seasons he’s been in there have been obvious projects that were never finished. These are in order: The roof of his and Tango’s shared Mega Base (S3), A fair amount of The City of Atlantis (S5), The missing farms on the Phinias Board (S7) and the interior of The Candy Factory (S8)

-Impulse’s current keyboard (At the time of writing) was custom made by his son

-In both S3 and S7, Impulse used the exact same floor desgin and armor stand gimmick for his Patreon Monument.

-One of the reasons Impulse and Skizzleman remain such close friends today was because he found a book on networking on Skizz’s bedroom floor when they were both looking to go to a new collage. They both went to the same Networking class after Impulse suggested it and have been glued together ever since. -They absolutely hated that networking class though

-Impulse has had 4 piercings in total. One in the tongue, one eyebrow one, one nipple, and one in the ear. Both the eyebrow one and the nipple one were taken out after they got caught on various zippers, and the ear one was something he did together with his drumline. None of them survived to the present day though.

-Impulse has sold enchanting related things in 4 out of 7 seasons (S4 S5 S6 S9)

-Impulse used to be completely bald and beardless until he grew out his hair and a beard for a No Shave November challange and people said it fit him. He hasn’t returned to baldness since that (At the time of writing) -Every since their introduction, Impulse always carries a totem on him. Although he has a resource pack that makes the totem invisible in first person so it won’t block up the screen as much.

-His Guardian Goodies shop building in S7 is an exact replica of a Guardian “shop” (everything was free) xB designed in S3

-Impulse has won every single “How to Kill” compitition, and with the exact same concept to boot. In “How to Kill a Doc” he made a bunch of traps that looked like the final blow but weren’t, instead having the killing strike be deliver by Impulse himself. In “How to Kill a Tango” he did the exact same thing, although the final blow should have been delt by a Magma Cube instead. Both of these killing machines also share similar surprises. Both involve fire charges (One from dispensers, one from a live Ghast), anvil launchers and TNT. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it i suppose?

-Impulse actually bought the “copyright rights” to the “i” brand from Iskall in S6 so he could keep iTrade open without confusion. Never got something similar from iJevin thought.

-When S6 updated to the villager update, Impulse managed to obtain a glitched Farmer Villager who never locked up his trades no matter how much you traded with him. Although he did lose a fair amount of villagers in iTrade too, so it was more a soul for a soul.

-The only season Impulse was part of that never had Elytras was ironically S3, the one with amplified terrain.

-The first time Impulse properly tested out the Elytra, it lagged so bad he died from fall damage by falling into Xisumas Guardian Farm. The elytra refused to open.

-Impulse and Tango has had an agreement since Impulse joined in S3 that they can take certain resources from each other’s storages and farms without asking before hand. They call this “Mi casa, Ti casa” or “My house, your house”.

-In 4 out of 7 seasons, Impulse has had at least one entire video that centers around either a request from xB, or featuring xB himself. (S3 S4 S5 S7)

-The “SV” in impulseSV could be read as “impulsive” but it actually stands for Impulse’s IRL initials

-Impulse was introduced to Minecraft via his son, who wanted to get into gaming. Impulse mostly played shooters but he didn’t want his kid to play those types of games at his age, so a coworker suggested Minecraft. Although his kid didn’t know anything about the game, so he had to hop on and learn too.

-Impulse plays Minecraft with an inverted mouse. This is because he got so used to flying helicopters in various shooters it made more sense to his brain that dragging the mouse down means up, and pushing it up means down.

-Impulse started out as a fan of Tango’s until he learned that he and Tango are pretty similar in age and in video style. So he e-mailed Tango about a collab and he accepted. Later they learned they lived incredibly close to each other and went out for some “sodas” (aka BEERS). The rest is history.

-The name Impulse along with the black and yellow colour scheme is something Impulse stole from his drumcore’s name and colour scheme. His favourite colour is actually purple.

-Impulse and Skizz live in the same neighbourhood (at the time of writing)

Second addition of facts 9th of August 2022

-Impulse has a dog (specifically a Border Collie) named Prim and a cat named Luna. Luna was a gift for his older daughter. Impulse wasn’t the biggest fan of cats until his wife got one, and he fell in love as well.

-He and Skizz have been best friends for over 25 years (at the time of writing)

-Impulse has a collage degree in computer information systems, because he was too spooked by a full on computer science degree.

-Despite being born in Iowa. Impulse has lived in Arizona since he was 5 years old.

-Impulse was born in 1981. Skizz is 2 years older. You do the math.

-Impulse ain’t no single child, he has a sister who once saved him from drowning. This was after he had colided with a boat on a Jetski as a kid.

-Impulse is a father of 3, his oldest is heading to collage (at the time of writing) and his youngest is 10.

-If any government or HOA people asks what Impulse’s new studio is (at the time of writing), it’s totally just a guest house. nothing else. nothing to see here.

-He met his wife in collage.

-His channel was originally made to be a sort of memory box of him and his son playing games together.

-His wife has a Etsy store where she sells custom made jewlery. It’s called Desert Medows Design (it’s actually pretty sick ngl)

-Impusle is a pretty big “sportsball” (aka Sports) fan and usually brings it up in streams. Not for long though considering he recognises that most people who watch him aren’t that into sportsball (his words not mine. honestly though it is pretty cool to listen to, could be just a me thing.)

Third addition of facts 12th of August 2022

-Impulse has a back injury that appearenly reappears to cause problems sometimes. He got it from playing Volleyball one time and messed up a muscle in his back when jumping. According to the man himself, when that pain flares back up it can leave him stranded on the couch with ice packs and heatpads for a fair while.

-According to Skizzleman, Impulse doesn’t handle blood very well. He got hit in the face with a pizza box once and the bleed he got from that made him serverly nauseous.

-Impulse has a slight gluten intolerance Fourth addition of facts 18th of August 2022

-Impulse has back teeth retainers.

-Impulse hates olives. Like “Will throw up” levels of hate. He shares this hatred with Tango.

(thats enough for now but i’ll probably add more as i think them up)

2 months ago
Digital canvas titled "How to: drawing characters with paralysis on their face" with "since I barely see it and would like to see more" written underneath. It features three colored drawings of different characters with various kinds of facial paralysis, labeled "ones that look more like this", next to a drawing of a heavily exaggerated character with cartoonish facial paralysis labeled "and less like whatever this is". There is a diagram in the corner of all the cranial nerves in the brain, with half of them scribbled out. The rest of them are labeled "i.e. what happens when any of these get fucked up". In the corner there is the artist's signature "@saszor" as well as "by: someone who has it" written out.
Second digital slide. It's titled "basic information". Underneath is a spectrum colored from dark green to red, with the dark green end labeled "works perfectly" and the red "complete paralysis". The light green, yellow, orange, and light red middle is labeled as "some degree of paralysis. It's not a 0:1 thing". Below that are 4 very simplistic drawings using the spectrum's colors to show different kinds of paralysis, including Moebius syndrome (complete full face paralysis), trochlear nerve palsy (both eyes being mildly affected), Bell's palsy (half of the face being slightly affected) and "multiple (me)" with the forehead, mouth, and eyes being labeled in different shades. The text around the characters reads "All these people have some kind of paralysis on their face. Before actually drawing a character, you need to pick what part of their face is paralyzed and how much. Having your whole face completely paralyzed is really rare. Weakness on one side of the face is the most common. You probably saw someone with it since it's very common after a stroke". Another block of text in the corner reads "If you have a simpler artstyle, paralysis of the eyes and/or mouth is the easiest to show. Jaw or forehead are more subtle (usually)".
Third slide, titled "Ok, but how do I draw it? (With asymmetry, mainly)". There is a drawing of a man with Bell's palsy, captioned "I will be doing examples showing unilateral (one sided) paralysis to showcase this since it will be easier to show the differences". In the top right are two drawings, one in anime style and other in a western cartoon one. The text box reads "While I encourage to try out multiple options, focus on the features that are more important in your artstyle. Big eyes? Focus on ptosis. Big mouths? Focus on lopsided smiles, etc. Otherwise it can look out of place". The main section of the slide is titled "Upper third of the face". There are simple drawings to accompany the text. It reads "paralysis on the forehead: it looks like one-sided botox essentially. The wrinkles will be weaker or non existent. Paralysis of the eyebrow: moves less. It rests lower than the other eyebrow and can have a crease under. Eyelid paralysis (arguably the most common one): generalyl affects the upper eyelid. It rests lower and has less or no movement". There is a drawing of a pair of eyes, where one is so closed the iris is invisible. Text reads "Note: paralysis very frequently comes with strabismus. Severe ptosis+hypertropia can look like the eye is just white. The iris can be hidden like that". Another text box to another drawing reads "it does get a bit trickier in angles that don't show both sides of the face; IMO focusing on strabismus+eyebrows pointing down is the easiest way to get it across". In the bottom left is a diagram showing different eyes with increasing severities of paralysis. Text reads "As a rule of thumb, more severe paralysis = eyelid rests lower. Here you can see how much of the eye could show".
Fourth slide, titled "Eyes specifically since people tend to put more detail into them than the rest of the face". The "First step" has 2 characters with unaligned eyes, titled "Step 1: give them strabismus (easy)". Below that are examples of eyes with strabismus, captioned "literally just draw the eyes to be unaligned. Inward, outward, up, down, etc.". Step two is titled "Don't make it into the most unfunny joke possible (very hard)". It shows two characters, one having a very exaggerated strabismus and the other having a more realistic one combined with a falling eyelid. The first character is crossed out, and is saying "I'm stupid because I look weird haha (laugh)", while the second character has the checker mark and is saying "I have a personality trait that is not related to having an eye condition". The text below the step 2 reads "Not every person with facial paralysis will have strabismus but a lot do and I never see that in drawings". In the bottom right is a designated square with a character who has significant hypertropia and slightly red eyes. The text reads "rarely, people will be unable to close their eyes rather than the other way around. I meant to put it on the previous slide but I ran out of space".
Fifth slide, titled "mouth and smiling". There is a simple drawing of a man with bell's palsy smiling, there are red lines illustrating how the smile is lopsided and pulls towards the nonparalyzed side. There is another "correct/incorrect" demonstration with the incorrect one, labeled "not how faces work", having their face essentially halved, with one side smiling widely and one actively frowning, and the correct one, labeled "it just pulls to the nonparalyzed side", smiling normally on one side and having a neutral/relaxed expression on the other. The incorrect one has additional text box: "if it looks like the ancient Greek theatre mask, stop. I couldn't do this really downward frown on my paralyzed side even if I wanted to. You need to be able to move your face for that...". At the bottom of the slide are two drawings of the same character smiling; he has bell's palsy in one but not the other, highlighting the differences. The text reads "There are other things that can also be affected but smiling is the main one, especially for drawing. What is not affected are like, jaw muscles. Someone can have problem with that as well but it will be from something else". The rest reads: "A lot of people will overdo smiling so that other people can actually tell they're smiling and essentially do a really wide smile on just one side of the face. So things like gums showing, nose skewing to the side, lower eyelid going up, lip being thinner on the smiling side, etc.". There is a colored disclaimer "also a disclaimer (in case that's not clear): not all people with facial paralysis have it visible on their eyes. I do it here so that you can easily tell which side is supposed to be affected".
Sixth slide, titled "have fun smile emoji". It features a Hindu woman in a powerchair, a Black man walking with a cane, a Brown girl posing, and a white guy looking stern. The first two are captioned "Most people have facial paralysis because of a stroke/traumatic brain injury and a lot will have other disabilities". The girl is captioned "Some people are born like this also. You can draw people with facial differences as pretty people BTW, it's allowed". The last character is drawn with a straight line scar going through his eye. He is captioned "if you're giving your scarred OC #3743 this fuckass scar then at least give them nerve damage like get real LMAO. He would not be fucking ablebodied". While the main drawing doesn't show the character with any sort of paralysis, there's a smaller one where his eyelid and eyebrow are clearly paralyzed. There is another box of text in the corner reading "We are also just normal people and yous on;t have to name your OC with bell's palsy some combination of "half-face" or whatever the fuck".

[ID in alt]

Tutorial on drawing characters/OCs who have some sort of facial paralysis. It doesn't cover all possible variants because I was using mirror as my main reference lawl

Keep in mind that this is an introductory drawing tutorial and has some generalizations in it, so not every “X is Z” statement will be true for Actual People 👍

Consider supporting me on ko-fi if you find this to be helpful.

1 month ago

the sudden cut to jimmy has me crying laughing on the floor

1 month ago
GUARDS! Put Them In The Square

GUARDS! put them in the square

1 month ago

A monster forcefully switches places with you. You become a horrible creature, and the monster assumes your form. Unfortunately for the monster, your life absolutely sucks—and you have no intention of swapping back.

1 month ago

AU with Phil and Kristin being a king and queen who consistently terrorize techno, their royal guard who is just trying TO DO HIS JOB and keep the rulers of the kingdom AWAY FROM DANGER

1 month ago
Finally Coloured… After Like 4 Months

Finally coloured… after like 4 months

2 months ago
The Suffering Never Ends
The Suffering Never Ends
The Suffering Never Ends
The Suffering Never Ends
The Suffering Never Ends

the suffering never ends

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