04.05.2025 (sun)

one of the biggest things I can advocate for (in academia, but also just in life) is to build credibility with yourself. It’s easy to fall into the habit of thinking of yourself as someone who does things last minute or who struggles to start tasks. people will tell you that you just need to build different habits, but I know for me at least the idea of ‘habit’ is sort of abstract and dehumanizing. Credibility is more like ‘I’ve done this before, so I know I can do it, and more importantly I trust myself to do it’. you set an assignment goal for the day and you meet it, and then you feel stronger setting one the next day. You establish a relationship with yourself that’s built on confidence and trust. That in turn starts to erode the barrier of insecurity and perfectionism and makes it easier to start and finish tasks. reframing the narrative as a process of building credibility makes it easier to celebrate each step and recognize how strong your relationship with yourself can become

12.05.2025 (mon)

Study hrs ≈ 2:00 hrs

Revised lec 1 of current electricity + questions

Lec 2

💤 5 hrs + 30 min nap + 2:00 hr nap 💤

Hey

Your blog is really pretty!

And i'm also a 12th grader preparing for the NEET exam

I'm trying to find people like myself so that I stay motivated to study lol

Moots?

HIIIIIII <33

Tysm 🥹🫶🏼 and its a pleasure to meet you !! *curtsies*

Yes yes and yes !! Lets keep each other motivated lol ^^

05.03.2025

DRAGGED myself to school even tho I was the literal embodiment of a walking corpse. Ended up crashing after school and woke up 5 mins before coaching.

Have chem hw to do which I'll get to soon (hopefully). Did math hw in class itself yaaay . I'll revise the stuff taken at school in the morning bus ride to school as usual :')

Toodles ~~

I am done letting others into my progress just for them to compare, judge, or make me doubt myself. I worked hard to get where I am, and I don’t need to prove anything to anyone. My success is mine. My journey is mine. I am no longer giving people the power to affect how I feel about my own efforts.

I don’t need to share what I’m reviewing, what I’m working on, or how I feel after an exam for toxic people who seek constant validation through grades and others' approval. I don’t need to join in on answer-checking just to feel validated or worried. I am choosing peace. I am choosing to trust myself. I don’t need to compare because I know that my effort will always pay off in its own way.

I am stepping back. I am focusing on myself. I know what works best for me, and if that means studying alone and keeping my progress to myself, then that’s exactly what I will do. I don’t owe anyone my notes, my strategies, or my explanations I share only with ppl who are supportive and respectful . If others are curious, they will have to find their own way, just like I do. I am no longer available for people who only want my knowledge but don’t truly support me or respect my boundaries.

I will not let small mistakes make me doubt everything I’ve done. I will not let others’ reactions make me feel like I am any less smart. I have proven to myself that I am capable, and I will keep proving it in my own way, at my own pace. I am enough. I am strong. I am moving forward for me.

@bloomzone

13.04.2025 (sun)

(the way he looks at her >>>)

HEY YALLL >°<

Day (4/30) DOP CHALLENGE

Ypt hours ~ 1:32 hrs

💤 3:30 + nap (2 hrs)

Ended up WASTING my weekend binging grey's anatomy and then some (I love Christina and Owen so much it HURTS)

Also, had phy test today. It kinda sucked ass and I have no one to blame BUT myself but instead of spiraling down in self hatred decided to do some work :D

Kind of revised for my bio test and did 60 more questions— got 2 wrong

Got a 44/45 on the actual test

Napped from 5-7

Did math hw

Gt rev/study stuff for eng tmrw morning

Barely did anything today so gt try harder tmrw 💪 💪

GNNN LOVESSS ~~

(⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠³⁠˘⁠)💗

Back from the iftar party and it's 12 already ! It was so fun and there were SOO many people. Tho it was quite overwhelming at first, I had such an amazing time. Heading straight to bed cuz ur girlie got a BUSY day tmrw 😭

07.03.2025

Didn’t post yesterday because I literally did nothing. Skipped school, joined the live class 15 minutes late because I randomly decided to shower last minute (and ofc, I don’t shower fast—especially when it's hair wash day !!!). Spent the entire class daydreaming instead of actually functioning, and now my to do list is staring at me like a disappointed parent. Ugh.

Anyways, shit happens. But also, I am so stressed about my backlogs. I feel like I’m drowning in stuff I have to do, I'm doing and will have to do— I have no idea how I’m supposed to do all this. Like, where is the pause button?? Also, I joined a Ramadan challenge group and haven’t updated in days—it’s barely been a week and I’m already flopping. I hate myself for it.

Weekend to do list:

• Complete Saturday’s notes + HW before they consume me

• Study for the bio test on Sunday (our teacher tests us on stuff we learned the previous week—I love her, but also, why)

• Rewatch yesterday’s lecture and actually process it this time

• Study all three bio lectures because apparently, I enjoy suffering (I did this to myself really)

• Iftar party later today, which means I’ll definitely miss live lectures and will have to listen to them tomorrow (future me is already panicking)

• Try to actually update in the Ramadan challenge group before I disappear completely

I am so behind, and I have no idea how I’m going to survive this, but we move.

23.03.2025 (Sun)

~ 2:20 AM ~

After school, I studied from 2-3 PM, then took a nap till 5:30 PM, which was a W move cuz I woke up feeling energized and not sleepy at all (till 2 AM, bro).

From today onwards, we were supposed to have class till 1 PM, but smn happened, and we got to leave early—same for tomorrow, I think not complaining wuAHahhAH. Sooo, we lost our chem class and hence the test. UGH just wanna get it over with atp. And for math? Surprise, surprise—postponed AGAIN.

~ Things I did ~

Made notes for Lec 3 & 4 of Solutions and studied them (yaay)

Completed Bio SRIFP notes (will do the studying tomorrow ig)

That’s it hehe >°<

Toodles ~~~

(⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠³⁠˘⁠)💗

(Also, it’s super windy outside rn, and I LOVE it.)

Discovered this song yesterday on utub shorts and IT'S SOO FRKN GOOD :'D

I want to be completely honest.

There are going to be people who are better than you.

There will be times when someone is going to get ahead of you

And there will be times when you worked hard, and you didn't achieve it.

And yes, it is fine. Completely fine. You are allowed to be disappointed. You are allowed to be sad. And you are allowed to get pissed.

It's the brutal truth that you may not get what you want all the time. And you should learn to be okay with that.

Let me give you, the internet, and mostly myself, some executive function advice.

Sometimes, when you find yourself somehow unable to do a thing you need or want to do, one issue might be that your brain has subconsciously tacked on extra tasks, and those tasks are making the whole thing too overwhelming!

Tl;dr: don't do that!

For example, I like to track the books I read and I've been meaning to add a few books I've recently finished. But my brain has added that I should also write a review, and the exact dates I read them (which I can't even remember) and oh by the way I should finish moving my stuff over to storygraph and before I know it that 1 task has turned into 4! And my executive functioning says no.

In fact, while I was getting the idea to write this post, my brain went "wouldn't it be nice to also write a post about y and tag them all properly and go back through my posts and find all mental health posts and tag those too" and wouldn't you know it. 4 tasks.

Discard those extra tasks. Don't even write them down. They don't matter. Strip it down to the 1 task you started with and only do that.

Sure, you won't have achieved some theoretical better end result but that end result was never gonna happen anyway. It was paralysing you from getting the initial task done. And maybe once that initial task is done, you can get to one (1! not 4!) additional task. Later. Not now.

Half-assing is better than no-assing.