The Weirdly Competent Doctor

rebloging so I can always look back and see this masterpiece-

Red Crowned Flight Switching it up from the more complicated paintings with something simple and relaxing. It's nice to let my mind go blank and let the thoughts flow like water~

yes, just yes

It's a Fenton thing

A lot of Dead on Main fics have Danny and Jason get together over some form of violence and have it be how ghost courtship works.

Sometimes it's kicking someone's ass. Sometimes it's kicking ass on their behalf. Sometimes it's about making a point of showing off your ass-kicking skills in front of them.

It's all fun. It's all valid.

But what if, hear me out, it was not a ghost courtship thing but was a Fenton courtship thing.

How many times has Jack Fenton said "Man that's hot" in response to Maddie kicking ass?

Do you see my vision?

Jason going on a rampage when his enemies kidnap Danny. Danny swooning so hard it takes him a minute to remember how to phase the restraints off. Then he bounds over to fight by his boyfriend's side with a big, lovestruck grin with just a hint of viciousness.

Both of them showing off their combat skills for the other to admire.

At some point, someone asks if it's a ghost thing, and One of the Fentons replies "no, that's just how hotness works," at the same that a ghost replies "no, they're just like that."

Imagine a universe where Jazz's first crush was on the one other kid in her karate class who could best her as often as she beat them.

Imagine the Fentons having a colorful history of falling in love on battlefields and in underground fighting rings.

"...Timmy...?" Dick hasn't called him that since before Bruce disappeared, but it's the only thing he can say as he stares at his brother's broken, bleeding body.

Tim, Timmy, his little brother in all but blood, bleeding from his ears and eyes and nose, burned so severely his skin is peeling off, actually turns to look at him.

Freezes.

"Shit. No one's supposed to see this." Tim says, and Dick lurches forward to do...something. He doesn't know what, for all his first-aid training doesn't know how he can help when there's this much damage, but he has to do something.

But Tim disappears, like he was never there.

Or; On a ghosts death day, they gain the appearance they had at death. This includes the injuries. Danny spends his death day very far away from home, since it actually makes his human form look like he got electrocuted to death by untold voltage and mass dosages of radiation, and he really doesn't want his mom and dad to see that, even if they're cool with the half-ghost thing. Problem; apparently he's a dead ringer for someone Nightwing knows, and he just mentally scarred Valerie's favorite hero. Fuck.

go read the reblogs, there are a couple different threads, and they’re all crack-shit hilarious 😂

The Fenton "Boor"

The Fentons have always been famous for their legal sale of weapons, usually based on ectoplasm and used to hunt ghosts. That's where they got most of their funds, whether it was to finance new inventions, their laboratory, or their children's education.

The problem began when they found out that Phantom was their son. Because of that revelation they accepted that they couldn't continue on the "weapon creator" path, how could they continue to create and sell weapons that help hunt down their baby? Even if they didn't trust all the ghosts Danny changed their perspective of the Infinite Realms and they were more or less at peace.

That is why they debated for hours on what to do to make money again, until they noticed something curious: Most of the people in Amity couldn't get drunk. It was a silly thing to focus on, but thanks to a quick investigation they noticed that after the portal opened no one had made it.

That's the reason they created a new brand of beer "Boor", which affected both ghosts and humans contaminated with ectoplasm. Their business quickly became a success and the beer was exported elsewhere (with many care and prevention labels).

When Jason Todd noticed "Boor" on the shelf at the bar he frequented, he snorted. The beer had a small ghost on the bottle, which caught his attention, he ordered it out of curiosity and when the waiter told him that the brand claimed "the product was capable of making even the dead drunk" Jason almost laughed.

Big was his surprise the next day when he woke up on one of Gotham's rooftops with a severe hangover. He had at least 8 missed calls from Nightwing and a bottle with a cartoon ghost in his hand.

A thought occurred to me while reading the newest addition here, and I was thinking. What if one of the reasons why Cale sleeps so much is because he can talk without worry there? Like, yeah, it’s usually just with GoD, but he doesn’t have to worry about his ability while chatting in his dreams. If any one of his friends could join him in his dreams, they’d be surprised by just how chatty Cale actually is. He animatedly tells DoD about all the cute things his kids are doing, how proud he is of his allies and friends. And once he receives his collar gift from GoD? He finally has a safe place where he can break down and cry and scream. Because before, he had to worry about accidentally activating his skill irl while dreaming. Now? The collar will keep everything everyone safe. He can vent and be as upset about everything going on as he wants to be, and GoD is patient with him, this is his saint after all, and his saint deserves someone to share their burdens with. Of course that someone should be him. (This also may or may not be how GoD learns about his church attempting to enslave Cale.)

Needless to say, I went on a tangent, but I bet that Cale probably sees beeping asleep as the perfect state of being for himself, because he can speak freely without worrying for other’s safely. And GoD is definitely someone that Cale knows he can turn to when he needs an ear to listen to him, because, lets be honest, everyone else means well, but they just make his headache worse with all these misunderstandings. I mean, they’re the reason he ended up becoming GoD’s saint in the first place! 😂

Rok Soo's ability isn't Instant AU

Instead of being able to, very briefly and painfully, fuck with time; he got an ability based on all the absolute bullshit that's happened to him.

From the childhood, to his friends dying in front of him. All the shitty rumors that sprouted up, all the shit luck, all of it. Just, all of it.

So instead of Instant, he got Lament.

Lament is a scream capable of leveling buildings, at the cost of absolutely shredding Rok Soo's throat.

As a result of that power, Rok Soo doesn't talk often, and when he does his voice is hoarse and pained. He also refuses to speak at full volume, because while he's got a handle on his power, he's paranoid that he'll slip up.

So when he transfers over to the body of Cale, people notice.

The Young Master went to bed his usual talkative self, but when he woke up?

Barely a word, and when he did speak, a whisper.

Cale barely speaks a word to Ron beyond the single syllable required. Barely bothers to acknowledge Deruth. Relies on hand-speak and notes to talk to merchants.

Deruth is going crazy trying to figure out what the hell happened to his son, Ron is very close behind him because what the hell got past him? He's Ron Fucking Molan.

Then Cale comes home with a bedraggled punk that smells like the trash the killed Ron's family, and Ron has to listen in astonishment as he says more to this jackass than he's said to Ron in a week.

Basically; Cale's power of Lament is so strong and painful that everything Cale is paranoid of letting it slip, that he's selectively mute. This causes many misunderstandings, in true Cale fashion.

Oracle's elderitch husband

It was just a normal patrol as Oracle was informating the batfam about the whereabout of Riddler's new hideout after he brought nearly four dozen suspicious boxes.

Then came the unfamiliar male voice in the coms.

"Hey honey, do you want almond raspberry babka no-

Oracle's coms immediately cut off.

It would be 26 minutes after the batfam finished patrol and spam nearly 5 dozen messages in the collective Robin chat before Oracle's com came back on.

"Who's with you, Oracle?"

"Father, she is obviously compromised after the coms cut off early."

"I'd been trying to find her location on the Batcomputer, but it's keep glitching out!"

"First of all, I am not compromised, Two, I forgot to take speaker voice off, and Three, who he is isn't none of your business. I mean It, if I catch any of you trying to dig into this, then I'm pulling all the embarrassing blackmail materials I have on all of you." Oracle hissed in the coms with words that swear she will do it. The sound of soft munching could be heard.

"Soo, how good is that almond raspberry Babka worth cutting off coms for?"

"....."

"I'll send the recipe to Alfred, but no digging, That means you Dick, Tim and Bruce, and Cass you better not help them out." Oracle spoke a bit softly before cutting off coms for the night.

"Oh, hunny~" Bab said softly, looking down with a smile that sends shivers down his back that promised pain.

"Ymhnzs?" Danny muffled voice could be heard as he was still in a headlock, his mouth covered by her hand as he was bend awkwardly that shouldn't be possible for a a very tall guy's back to bend in a way with the tray once almost full batch of freshly baked Almond Raspberry Babkas.

"What had I told you about coming in during my night hours~?" Babs said sweetly if it weren't for the arm nearly choking hold she had on his neck as she uncovered his mouth.

"Not allowed unless you're finished with work or Dante got stuck in your spare wheelchair again.." Danny quietly said with his face flushed.

"You're unconsciously becoming like your Dad, but at least he texted me before breaking down my wall to show me your baby pictures again."

"B-b-but, honey you ar-

"No buts, you're sleeping in the couch for tonight or in the thermos until next week until I figured out how to make the correct diversion to trick the bats, now make your choice now considering the babka asba bribe for a lesser punishment."

"Well~?"

Danny pouted, his pointed ears droop down with his eyes all wide but he knew the Jack fenton puppy eye look isn't going to save him now from his wife's wrath.

...

..

"I'll take the couch.."

5 hours later, Danny’s been busy avoiding everyone in the mansion. No one has managed to catch him yet, he’s just so slippery (ghost shenanigans), and they can’t figure out how in the heck this cat is so good at eluding them. Finally, Alfred manages to draw Danny out with dinner, because, of course. It’s Alfred. Also, he offered Danny food rather than attempting to snatch Danny and interrogate him, thank you very much.

Midway through Danny hastily eating his dinner before the rest of the bats badge in, Jason finally finishes up with Frostbite, and Danny feels the portal open above him and spit Jason back out. A bit of a rough landing, Danny had to dogs the falling Jason since the portal spawned from the ceiling, but no one was injured. Jason sits dazed for a an indiscernible amount of time, staring at Snitches, unmoving, unblinking, too shocked by the knowledge he’s gained.

Then the bats stumble into the kitchen, and Jason finally snaos back to reality.

“Where did you say you found this cat-?”

5 Things Nobody Tells you About Owning a Cat

Inter-dimensional travel

Tidied the background up a bit cause it was kinda messy and our Lord and Saviour Alfred Pennyworth would never.

OP, I need more. You can’t just leave me here-

The Nappers

Dpxdc Prompt #10

Danny was really excited to spend the summer with his second cousin(?) he didn't really remember, but apparently Jack Fenton's cousin was Gotham billionaire Bruce Wayne, a serial adopter.

Jazz had discovered the connection and gave him a call to see if he'd mind Danny staying over for summer because Danny decided he was going to tell his parents at the end of summer about his ghost problem, and Jazz wanted him to have a safety net.

He didn't really have a big family at home, with his parents being largely... absent and Jazz moving to Gotham for college. It would be great to be in a house that wasn't empty again.

Now if only his newly discovered family could stay awake long enough for Danny to talk to them.

"So how's living with our cousins?" Jazz asked him through his Fenton-phone. He flopped onto his bed and groaned.

"They're all seem nice but I haven't really seen enough of them to know yet."

"Danny, you've already been there a week, shouldn't you know them at least a little bit? You usually warm up to people quickly, as long as they aren't trying to kill you."

"Man I kinda wish they were out to get me, then I'd probably see more of them than I have already."

"..."

"..."

"Okay Danny walk me through our family, and what you know so far about them."

"Well first there's Dick, he apparently lives in Bludhaven and supposedly comes back to Gotham to visit fairly often, haven't seen any of him yet though."

"Then there's Jason, I've seen him come over after dinner a couple of times, but he's seemed in a really bad mood and I'm getting weird vibes from him so I haven't talked to him much yet either."

"Cass, Steph, Tim, Damian, and Bruce are the ones that actually live here at the manor and outside of when I first arrived I haven't actually seen them awake enough to talk to me. Anytime I've caught a glimpse of them they're taking naps and I'd feel bad waking them up, Tim especially (he looks like he needs the rest)."

"What are they, nocturnal or something?

"That's what I thought too! But the Manor is even more dead during the night than the day. If I had wanted to live with a bunch of zombies I'd have spent summer in the zone, not come all the way here."

"The only people that have stayed awake long enough for me to actually get to know them are Duke and Alfred! Duke's great, but he seems to have a day job so I only see him for breakfast and dinner and any time I can catch him before he sleeps after. Alfred's amazing, but he already has so much to do around the Manor, I feel bad bothering him."

"It is only the first week you're there, and there was a huge Arkham breakout your first day so everybody around Gotham is a bit tense while the Bats are trying to recatch everyone. Could you give it another week for me? See if it'll be an option for if our parents react badly?"

"For you, Jazz, I'll give it another week, but I can't just trade one empty house for another."

"Thanks, little brother."

"Love you, Jazz, bye."

Danny hung up the phone and sighed, he new there was something off with his cousins, but he couldn't quite place it. Constantly napping, disappearing during the nights, but always on guard when they were awake.

He had a week to figure it out, but if he didn't there'd be no real lost love. He'd come up with some excuse, stay with Jazz for the summer or something. If his parents reacted badly and he didn't have this safety net, it'd be difficult sure, but Danny and Jazz would figure it out.

Danny thought it would be nice to have some other family that had his back for once, but hey, maybe he just had shitty luck when it came to blood relations.