Casual Dating

Casual dating

Pairing: Natasha x reader

Word count: 2795

Genre: fluff/a lillllll bit of angst

Request: yes

Warnings: slight mention of eating disorder + over exercising

A/n: I HAVE RETURNED. Just when you thought you had gotten rid of me I jump right back like a boomarang. Fun fact, we had a boomarang and I wasn't allowed to throw it because it was 'decorative' or something so I pushed a chair over to where it was hung on the wall, smuggled it out to my garden and threw it. It didn't come back to me but its probably because my technique was off right? It also has a tiny dent in the back where I threw it too hard and it bounced on the apple tree.

You and Natasha were casually dating. It's what you had both agreed because why put a label on something when it might not even last due to busy schedules? It was a mutually shared idea that had popped up on the second date.

The two of you were sitting, eating candy floss with a large stuffed bear sitting between the two of you.

"Nata-"

"So I've bee-" You both started to speak at the same time, laughing gently when you realised what you had done.

"You go." You said.

"No it's okay. You go first."

"Okay... How do you feel about all this?" You waved your hand between the two of you, accidentally hitting the bear over the head.

"It's nice. It's good." Natasha said. "I don't think I want to..." She trailed off, biting the inside of her lip as her eyes darted about slightly. She was nervous.

"Label it?"

Natasha's eyes were drawn back to you, her head hung a little in shame as she slowly nodded.

"Thank god." You breathed out, tension releasing from your shoulders. "Me neither. I'm happy with just casual dating."

"Exactly!" Natasha was a lot more animated once she realised her views were shared. "Besides, I'm an avenger and you're an agent, it's easier if we keep it casual so we don't feel pressure to constantly be with each other."

"I'm so glad you said that! I've been stressed about this since you first asked me out on the first date." You smiled easily, the both of you content to not force yourselves into a relationship.

~~~~~

That was 3 months ago and in that time you had been on one other date. Sometimes you wondered if the reason you were both so happy to not get into a serious relationship all those nights ago was because neither of you had anything to base a stable relationship off of. Your parents were emotionally distant and so you became hyper independent from a young age. Of course it was nothing compared to Natasha's experiences in the Red room but it certainly wasn't a walk in the park. In fact, if you really thought hard, you couldn't think of one real relationship you had been in. Sure you dated, had sex, and led people on for a mission but you had never had someone to call your own, never had a significant other. Hell, you didn't even really know what your sexuality was because of the lack of real relationships you had. While you had only had one other date with Natasha, it didn't stop you from being tangled in each other's limbs at least twice a week. You had a free day and you were sure Natasha did too so you sent her a quick text asking if she wanted to go out that evening, or even afternoon, before getting back to training.

You had finished your training session 3 and half hours later and still had no answer. You figured you must have read her schedule wrong which was entirely possible considering you literally just glanced at it. You chugged some water as you made your way to the showers. It was there that you saw a flash of red hair and you followed it.

"Hey Nat."

"Y/n"

"Did you get the text? I was wondering if you wanted to go out on another date tonight."

Natasha let out the tiniest sigh and you watched her tense up. You thought that she probably didn't want you to notice but you did. You bit the inside of your cheek, maybe you were being too needy. Yes. Definitely too needy.

"Actually never mind! Enjoy your shower." You spun on your heel and got into a shower.

~~~~~

You thought about the interaction the whole way home, hearing your phone buzz multiple times but ignoring it because you were a nice, safe, driver. Well that and because SHIELD had fitted a black box into your car after you got one too many speeding tickets. Those totally weren't your fault though, you had to save the cat. The fines for knocking off the occasional cyclist might have been a little more your fault. You grabbed your phone as soon as you were parked and saw that the messages were from Natasha and they weren't all that nice.

The other spider: we literally just went on a date a few weeks ago

The other spider: I thought this was supposed to be casual dating

The other spider: cause this doesn't seem very casual to me.

You felt your chest tighten unexpectedly as your eyes began to burn the tiniest bit. You clenched your jaw. You survived two parents who didn't want a child and multiple near fatal injuries.

Y/n: You're right. I'll see you Monday.

There was no way you were spending your Friday night in.

~~~~~

One of the benefits of being a super secret agent, was the lean body you were forced to have. Now, don't misunderstand, you hated working out with a passion. It often reminded you of a dark time in your past where you would over-exercise and under eat because all you could see in the mirror was someone that wasn't really there. It wasn't even that you thought you were overweight, you just wanted to see how slim and muscular you could go.

Still, when your physique meant you could get a date in less than 12 hours, you were inclined to be a little kinder to yourself. His name was Dave? Darron? Derrick? It didn't matter. He was hot and you were bored. You had arranged to meet at a small diner you had never been to before. Yes, you knew it was a little more dangerous but you had most likely killed men bigger than him with little more than a lanyard so you figured you were pretty safe. The date itself was rather boring but it did the job and got you out the house. The was nothing particularly wrong with the man, if anything he was rather sweet. He didn't seem to realise his good looks and you wondered if he had only recently grown into them. He was the perfect gentleman and in a different life, you could see him making you happy. Seeing Peter and MJ was rather cute too. Peter blushed profusely when he saw you there too but you just laughed, patting him gently on his back when he made you promise not to tell Mr Stark.

You left the diner with no intention to go on a second date.

~~~~~

It was Saturday evening, two weeks after the date with Darren? and you were bored again. Natasha had been on a mission all week and so you sent her a text, asking if she wanted to have a chill drive-in date. You added on the end that there was no pressure if she was too tired.

You were left on seen.

You weren't too sure why you kept trying with Natasha. If it had been anyone else, you would have gotten the message and fucked off. Maybe it was because Natasha was a woman? Maybe you were only attracted to women. With this newfound need to test out your hypothesis, you got back on your phone.

This time, it took you 5 hours to find someone to go on a date with. The sayings weren't wrong, lesbians really do move fast. You were dressed up and ready to go, having both decided to meet at a local coffee shop only a few blocks away from the SHIELD agency. This was done strategically as you were technically supposed to be working but it was your lunch break so fuck 'em. Sophie? Sandra? Sapphire? was nice. She laughed at your jokes and told jokes that made you laugh too, she insisted to pay and pouted when you snuck your card over the card reader. You were having a fun time and didn't notice a pair of green eyes burn into you. You cut the date shorter than your counterpart would have liked but you were already running late for work.

Perhaps it wasn't the gender, perhaps it was the fact none of them were ex-assassins with fiery red hair and a personality to match. Perhaps you couldn't remember any of their names because they weren't called Natasha.

Once again, you had no intention of going on a second date.

~~~~~

The change in Natasha was noticeable. Perhaps only noticeable to Clint and possibly Tony, but it was noticeable. She was quieter but not in her normal brooding spy way. She was a loud sort of quiet. The kind of quiet you are when you have millions of thoughts buzzing about your head. Natasha had many more than millions of thoughts and none of them were nice. She knew what casual dating entailed and she knew you were more than within your right to date someone else, as was she, but the burn when she saw you with Sophia made her feel sick. Natasha didn't like people eating her cereal, she didn't like people stealing her weapons and she most certainly didn't like people having you. As a person who grew up with barely any possessions, it had made Natasha jealous and possessive. Normally she could hide it. Normally it was over normal things, like socks. But normally, it didn't involve people. She was confused. She was overjoyed when you felt the same way about casual dating but seeing you with someone else made her feel a possessiveness that she hadn't felt since Stark had tried to take the last serving of golden boulders. She knew you weren't a cereal, that you were a person but when she saw you with someone else, all she could think was how much you were hers.

~~~~~

You were invited to a Stark party by an anonymous source. You had little to no idea who it could be. If it was Natasha, she would have just texted you and you weren't very close to any of the other Avengers. You didn't really care though, just happy to let loose as everyone knew that Stark's parties were infamous for their freeing atmosphere.

Turns out, the anonymous source failed to mention it was a rather intimate party with only the core Avengers, Maria, and Carol. You wondered, as you scanned the room quickly, whether or not it was too late for you to sneak back out. Unfortunately it was as Peter spotted you and enthusiastically waved you over to the group.

"Y/n! You made it!" Peter's exclamation made Natasha's head snap around.

"Shouldn't you be studying for a test?"

"Shouldn't you be going to less shady places for dates?"

You raised an eyebrow. Oh. So spidey boy wanted to play did he? You gave him a smug smirk and watched as he realised what he had just said "And how do you know about the shady places I go on dates young Peterson?"

"I- um- well-"

"How many other 'dates' have you been on?" Perhaps if Natasha was in a better state of mind, she would have asked it with a faux nonchalance but she was far too hurt for that.

"What's with the inverted commas? They were dates." You were a little upset that Natasha didn't think you were going on real dates.

"Sure."

"What, don't believe me?"

Natasha let out a short breath of air "No."

Your jaw clenched in a way that Natasha found delicious and she found herself momentarily forgetting why you were arguing until she then remembered that others may have seen your clenched jaw and thought the exact same thing she just thought. It made her blood boil ten times hotter than it already was.

"I thought you guys were dating?" Steve said, confusion written all over his face.

"Casually. Although right now, it doesn't seem very casual to me." You threw back the words that Natasha had texted you all those weeks ago, putting a little bite into them.

Natasha visibly tensed up as she realised just how neglectful she had been. She thought back to all the times you had asked her out and it made her feel sick. Her face slid from shock, to realisation, to guilt, to sadness all within a matter of milliseconds before finally resting on careful neutrality. "Well maybe we shouldn't casually date anymore."

"Just what I was thinking." You were not, however, thinking the same thing. Natasha meant it as 'we should stop casually dating so you can be my girlfriend and I can leave my mark all over you so no one ever even thinks of you without realising you're not single again' and you meant it as 'we should stop casually dating because you're slowly ripping out my heart and it's scaring me because you don't feel the same way I do.'

Normally, Wanda kept others thoughts from wandering into her head but she was a little more than slightly tipsy and both your thoughts were very loud.

"Wait nooo." Wanda's words slurred together as she grabbed your wrist, stopping you from getting up. She tugged you, trying to get you to lean closer but underestimated her strength, causing you to fall into her.

Natasha let out the most animalistic sound you had ever heard from a human. You had never heard anyone growl before and Natasha had never done it before but she was too mad to even realise what she had just done.

"Relaxxxx. I'm fixing it." Wanda waved Natasha off "Who do you think invited them anyway?"

You looked at Wanda in confusion. "But we don't even know each other."

"No." Wanda giggled. "But Peter and Clint were worried and Tony was sick of walking on eggshells around Natasha and Steve was tired of not knowing what was going on and-"

"Okay" You laughed, cutting her off. "What's your point sweetheart?"

"Natasha lovessss youuuu" Wanda giggled, her head rolling back as she looked up at the ceiling. "Come on guyssss its time for the birdies to sort themselves out."

"Birdies?" Thor looked over at her in confusion. "There are no birds here."

"She means lovebirds Thor." Carol laughed.

"How does a woman who's spent less time here than you know more?" Maria laughed as she ushered the others out, grabbing Carol's hand.

You looked over at Natasha once they had all left. "...What?"

"I thought we were saying we shouldn't casual date anymore?"

"Well me too."

"So why were you all over Wanda like a rash?"

"...I'm sorry, what? When you said 'no more casual dating', what did you mean?"

"Well I was asking you to date me properly, so I could be your girlfriend... What did you think I meant?"

"I thought you meant we had to stop doing this."

"Oh."

You both sat there in silence until you realised that your silence could be interpreted as not wanting to have her as your girlfriend.

"That's much better than what I was thinking."

Natasha gave you a light smile, her eyes searching yours for any signs that you might be lying.

You knew that she might need some encouragement to show her that you were telling the truth so you continued. "I want to see you most days. I want to label this."

"I want to see you every day Y/n. I want to wake up next to you and fall asleep next to you. When I saw you with Sophia..."

"Who?"

Natasha looked at you blankly. "What do you mean 'who'? The woman you were out with at the coffee place."

"So that was her name..."

"I seriously cant believe you... I literally stalked that woman and her family and you didn't even remember her name!" Natasha looked exasperated.

"...Well she wasn't you..."

Natasha closed the space between you until you were both inches away from each other. "Can I kiss you?" You nodded as she surged forwards and captured your lips with hers.

It was vaguely strange that she asked for permission this time when you had kissed each other so many times before. You only realised why, when you noticed that the pace of this kiss was different. It was slower, like she was taking her time memorising every little line on your lips and every tiny ridge in your mouth. Natasha asked permission because it was her strange, completely Natasha way of asking if you were okay with her. With being in a relationship. You melted instantly and your heart swelled. It was then that you realised that no matter how badly your parents had fucked you up, how badly the Red room had fucked up Natasha, that the two of you had found each other and were prepared to heal together.