Honesty Means Having Few Friends

I am definitely unlovable. I am just too insane and weird for anyone to relate to me or like me. I must accept this reality in order to continue living a life of loneliness, but a life without love is no life at all...I have no idea what to do.

Me and who?

👉👈💕

Okay so can we all agree that Suzuya Juuzou and Bachira Meguru would be besties 🤍🖤

I love them they are my sons I love them I will protect them for the rest of my goddamn life and beyond the grave I will love them I love them those are my sons I carried them in my very womb

"On order to create, we must first destroy"

Welcome to my blog. I am Sheri and I like to engage in nihilistic pursuits. My blog will mainly be about venting about problems and obsessing over this one girl. There will also be political stuff.

Tw: politics, occasional NSFW, yandere stuff, suicide, depression, anxiety, psychosis, and a general vent.

I welcome all dms as long as it is not a scam or phishing type of thing. My interest is primarily in girls, so do not attempt to get with me if you are a guy.

a world without trans people has never existed and never will

prints

Tw: NSFW

being a switch is weird...Some days I want a woman to claim ownership of me. Other days I want to break a bed while fucking someone raw. It is like I can be two different people in bed. Btw, I am asexual.

Tw: NSFW

On the surface it may seem like I am shy and collected, but there is also this underlying desire to dominate someone sexually. Once I get consent and know someone well enough, I will alter the way I sexually interact with them. First I will learn all the kinks and weaknesses of the partner, then I will bring them close to the edge of climax and deny them climax in the last moment until they beg me for release. I like teasing people and seeing them beg. I also have quite the obsession with women's anatomy including the clitoris. I could perhaps gently massage it with the palm of my hands while fingering her vagina to satisfy her.

Tw: unhinged break down and vent with mentions of suicide

I bid my greetings to everyone reading this journal entry. There was a situation with a friend which was a bit difficult. I felt like I wanted to help, but I was unable to. Now onto a different topic: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! It is strange that that that that's djjkcodbns ytsbat I cannot CANNOT I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN THIS! My mind is a mess, everything is unclear…I just want to prove to myself that I am wanted here in this world, but I do not know if I really am wanted. Even if I am NO NO NO, I won't say that! I am freaking out, I heard voices in my head a few weeks ago and I had to take new meds. It was terrifying and annoying, there was screaming and squealing as well and it felt like my mind was streaming like a waterfall. I am on sick leave until May, so don't expect to see me in school. Yk what, I will be honest. Every Time I have one of these squishes (which are the desire for queer platonic relationships). I have felt this for around 5 people so far and all of them were extremely far and unavailable. One was an online friend who ended up telling me to kms for defending furries, another was someone in our school who was probably the worst person imaginable to have a squish on, another was an online friend who literally admitted to being a sociopath and I still continued being close with the person, then there was someone else who prefers solitude and only sees all friendships as temporary, and then finally it is the person I have this squish on now, who does not really care about anyone beyond the usual friendships. All this combined could point towards me never being able to find someone, which means that I simply am not wanted. The logical conclusion of something not being wanted is for it to be thrown away. Being thrown away means basically dying…wait, it is dying, I should kill myself. But wait, people care about me even if it is not in that way. This is good, this means that I am still wanted in some way, so I should not kill myself. The voices are wrong, the Goddess communicating with me telepathically called Luna is wrong. Wait a minute, can't I want myself? That way someone always wants me, which increases my chance of survival. In practice this would mean that I am in a relationship with myself. Since I am a person with so many different personalities, it is almost as if I am multiple different people. It is logical, really, no one wanted the cake, so that leaves all the cake for me, no one wanted to work with me in the group project so I worked by myself, no one picked me for their team so I picked myself for my own team. Yes, that's it! The solution to all my problems. This was what the poem meant, the poem of me reaching the end of the tunnel and seeing light, maybe I am my own light. But then I would be autoplatonic meaning that I can have a platonic relationship with myself. I will try this out. No, I already did and it did not work…back to suicide? Idk, I do not want to be in that stinky ward again. Does that mean that I’d better succeed in killing myself? Idk…let's try to live for now so there is a 0% chance of me ending up in that ward.

Once, there was a group of humans born, from birth they were bitten by a thorn. They bore the cross, the cross of their demise, of their death they fantasize. The village gathered to witness the journey into the clouds, the entropy came in mounds. Shackled by all, but shackled by naught, they wanted to bleed and they made it so, it's as if they were made to go