Tony: Orange, "first to mess up loses a card; hangover helpers." uhhh gatorade
Bruce: a nice breakfast
Valkyrie: hangover? What is this?
Tony: you actually need to stop drinking to get a hangover valkyrie.
Valkyrie: that is lose, lose situation
Meanwhile in the a parallel universe:
Shield: How did you defeat Captain America?
Hydra: We shot him in the legs because his shield is the size of a dinner plate and he's an idiot.
Peter: Green, "give this card to who ever you least want to fight"
Nat: give me card
Peter: ok....
Steve: look how cute these pens are
Bucky: steve thats gay
Steve: bucky we've been dating for...
Steve: Y/n what's that on your neck?
Y/n: oh it's uh spider bite...
*Nat: walks in*
Y/n: here's the spider now!
Washington: oh yeah ill look it over nice work
Hamlinton: good thanks dad
Everyone: *stares*
Hamlinton: why is everyone starting at me?
Eliza: You just called General Washington dad
Hamilton: what? Nobi didnt i said thanks man
Washington: do you see me as a father figure Alexandre
Hamilton: what?! No! If anything i see him as a bother figure cause youre always bothering me
Madison: hey show your father some respect
Hamilton: i didnt call him dad!
Washington: No no no. Alex i take it as a compliment
Burr: its no big deal i called theodosia mom once and she's my fiance.
Hamiltion: guys jump on that burr has psychosexual issues
Jefferson: old news but you calling the general daddy
Hamilton: hey daddy is not on the table here
Seabury: but you did call call him dad dude
Hamilton: you shut up youve done nothing but lie since you got here
Bucky and steve: *in a hot tub*
Perter & Shuri: Two bros chilling in a hot tube five feet apart cuz they're not gay!
Tony & T'achalla:...
Shu: (freezing) it's kinda cold
Yuma: here take my jacket
Shu: I love you
Yuma: god we are such the... perfect couple (looks at Subaru)
Kou: I'm cold too
Subaru: well damn kou I can't control the weather
Y/n: so if you were in this age group you are most likely to experience a serious violent crime: 10-12, 13-16, 18-21, 15-18
Loki: 10-12
Y/n: no its 18-21
Loki: clearly this is not based off my life
Y/n: yeah im not going to open that can of worms
Bonus :
Y/n: you next.
Nat: alright shoot
Y/n: men in this state statistically buy small sized protection: Pennsylvania, Kentucky,
Nat: Missisipi
Y/n: i didnt even-
Y/n: thats right
Nat: i knew it
Loki: now that is a can of worms i would like to open
Sam: bucky and i were crossing the street and this dude drove by and honked at us
Zemo: *sighing* what did he do?
Sam: he chased him to the next red light, then reached into the window and...
Bucky: WHO WANTS A STEERING WHEEL?!