Listening To Music Isn’t Enough Anymore I Need To Eat It

so real, sometimes i think abt the bizarre workings of the magical system in the hp universe and barely resist the urge to start writing abt chemistry to justify all the nonsensical rules . .

like holy shit just make them kiss and share traumas with e/o they don't need to have an academic debate rn bc someone cast an aguamenti

i need to read more academic articles to make my yaoi more insane

shit i can’t stop myself from falling

phoebe bridgers, "moon song" // ryan ross, "lonely moonlight" // a.w.m. // m.k. // gentle.earth // mary balogh, "snow angel" // unknown // gentle.earth // lil nas x, "thats what i want" // @the-little-red-queen, "you are keith"

“how are you?” you ask.

how do i tell you that my heart aches every time i think of you?

how do i tell you that i cry myself to sleep every night, remembering you, knowing you’re not mine anymore?

how do i tell you that i’ve torn myself apart every day, trying to figure out what went wrong? trying to figure out what i did?

how do i tell you that i would walk blindly through hell and back to be by your side?

how do i tell you that even though you shattered my heart into a million and two pieces, i can’t stop loving you with every single broken one of them?

how do i tell you that you are the only person i’ve ever loved, and maybe the only person i will ever love?

i can’t- that’s the truth. i can’t tell you any of that.

so how am i?

“i’m fine,” i smile tightly. you don’t ask me to elaborate.

-i can’t tell you the truth. i never could. c.r.

what if i told u . . u don't need to give draco a complete personality transplant to make dron work . . . [gets stoned (by rocks)]

this is what we mean when we say “defund the police”

I want to [remembers that suicide jokes only further damage my mental health] fuck you like an animal

wanted to play the Last Line Game i've seen floating around, so had to take it into my own hands and tag myself lmao, bc i have no friends here (yet!)

currently writing chapter 4 of my 6th year Dron fic, Inspiral!!

(ask me literally anything abt it pls pls i will rant abt them forever)

a lovely lady asked me to elaborate so i'm back again,,,, voltron the show treats lance's envy and resulting competitiveness as a Cute Funny Haha thing, especially in the beginning seasons as they struggle to figure out how to work together . .

but as someone who's experienced this sort of thing where there's someone in your life that seems to be naturally and effortlessly better than you at something that's Important to you, that you want to be better at yourself, logic tends to go out the window,,, it doesn't matter that you have your own strengths, that you're different ppl with different skills and experiences . . . it simply becomes an all-consuming Skill Issue that's All. Your. Fault.

while i've seen this addressed in fic, the feeling is all to eager to peter out, to be wiped away with a random bonding moment and be replaced with love or respect or admiration-- but . . it's not that simple . . ever . . . no matter how hot this rival is (in fact this just adds salt to the wound). the fun part is that these two attitudes can coexist! for maximum angst!!! the resentment can curdle and rot and fester in the center of your chest WHILE staring in awe, while praising and complimenting them.

depending on how your interpret canon, lance spent 0.5 - 1 year in the fighter pilot program after keith left (and Only because he left) where he was canonically periodically reminded by that Bitch that lance, no matter how well he performed, would never be able to live up to keith, piloting prodigy . . he was just casually near-daily told he would always be second-best at one of the things most important to him in the world . . . even logically dissecting that iverson's words were purposefully hateful, unconstructive, and Should be disregarded, doesn't mean that kinda of treatment, that kind of rhetoric, wouldn't become deeply internalized within lance, no matter how calmly and logically he thought about it. the killer, in the end, is that iverson was simply repeating lance's intrusive thoughts back to him Out Loud, and framing it as The Truth. no matter how much lance comes to like and admire keith as a person and not just a Prodigy, that shit will take a long time and a Lot of work to unroot from his thought patterns.

and then there comes keith's perspective . . oh my dear boy, keith, certain things just come easy to him yk? but that's no big deal; who likes flying and martial arts and rather dislikes sitting still,,, so does a lot of the former to avoid the latter.

keith who's been abandoned, isolated, and socially ostracized basically all his life . . who watches lance walk in a room and light it up with laughter every single time; lance, who has a loving family who he talks about and misses, and misses, and misses; who miss him back; who has a wonderful, living mother who's laughing with lance on his lockscreen . . .

keith who's had this secret, implicit belief all his life that there's something wrong with him, something unnamable and terrible that drives everyone away from him, eventually. watches lance attract people like a magnet wherever he goes.

who watches the friendliest, most socially adept and intelligent person he knows recoil from him time and time again. who always has a charming flirt or a kind, reassuring word for everyone on the castleship . . except keith. who sneers and argues and insults and competes with his every attempt to make some sort of connection; the poisonous, wriggling thought squeezes into keith's mind again and again, tinged with a paranoia he's carried close to his heart since forever, that lance knows, that he was able to sense whatever it was Wrong with keith and that he was, disgusted. so he takes that bone-deep fear and points it outward, like a knife.

mayhamps i will write a fic 🫠

klance can be so toxic, they can be SOOO TOXIC and it's so delicious bc their insecurities are exactly equal and Opposite, they want to be each other sooo bad, the other's very existence is like a persistent thumb digging into a bruise if not an Open Wound, there is so much space for resentment, SO MUCH space for resentment and miscommunication and emotional stuntedness and misunderstandings . . . klance nation serve this up please 🙏🙏🙏

some art posters I'd put up in my dream home