Fanged Deku My Beloved

should i make an intro post T^T

so much work . . . what if i just remain mysterious . . . my name is veris or veri, i obsess over things, im bi and use whatever pronouns are the funniest for the context . .

There'll be a moment when you realise you're 27 when yesterday you were just 17; and you wouldn't be able to tell how a decade passed away and your life got divided into before and afters. The fury of youth will subdue and nothing will really change but everything will feel different when you look at old photographs and blurry videos taken on cheap mobile phones. Scents will remind you of childhood and certain friends you don't talk to anymore, hangouts will become reunions and mom's burnt pie will become the best food you ever had. And I know on some days you won't be able to show anything of those 10 years but I hope you remember to breathe, and let go of the knot in your chest. I hope you go out in the sun and live a little, because tomorrow is 37.

Edit- I added the visualizer for this piece on my YT, check it out here

-Ritika Jyala, excerpt from The Flesh I Burned

It probably doesn't mean anything, maybe it does. But I love it when Jungkook just...

Credit to the rightful owners for pictures/screenshots.

person: there’s something i have to tell you  my anxiety: *the pink panther theme* 

Sirius getting in trouble and McGonagall not calling his parents because Sirius was disowned, but also not calling the Potters because they had to take care of talking to James.

So, she decides to bring Regulus to her office and just let him yell at Sirius.

as i read somewhere, there is no reason too little if it helps you stay alive. anyone who sees this, maybe go out and watch the sun set today? the sky's softness helps me out a lot, maybe it'll help you too

Nobody would miss me if i were gone and i guess that I just wanted to know your best reasons for living because I’m coming up short.. :(

i really don’t know, i was just thinking this the other day :/ i try to focus on what’s going to get me through today rather than what’s going to get me through my life. i can’t think about my life. mostly i come up with small, basically meaningless reasons like eating my fave food or the sky or the possibility of the world finally cutting me some slack and loosening its grip on me a bit. i try to think about it a lot, how i haven’t met everyone i’m supposed to meet or seen everything i’m supposed to see. a lot of the time it’s not even any of that that keeps me here though, it’s just that dying is too hard. too scary. too inconvenient. too permanent. so look for the minor moments of peace or even just numbness, the lack of pain, that you find on a daily or weekly basis. anything that brings you a semblance of joy, no matter how little. art, music, walking, special interests, books, animals. whatever it may be. the trick of mental illness is that it often makes these things feel dull and insignificant and pointless. yet engaging in them despite that, even for five minutes a day, can be super self soothing even so. when it comes to the bigger reasons, the more existential reasons, i suppose my mind drifts to my family and the people around me. ig on some level we have to recognize that trauma and mental illness often skews our perception so much that we don’t even have an accurate idea of our own existence or what it means to people. you’re probably utterly convinced that nobody would miss you but you’ve been on a diet of self hatred for god knows how long, and so you can’t possibly fathom the way you’ve made a difference in people’s lives - directly and indirectly. after my sister died, i got a lot of anons telling me they had put off their own suicide after seeing how devastated i was, after realizing the absolute irreversible gravity of death and losing someone and how it can wreck the people who know you. and that has a ripple effect, on people who didn’t even know you that well, too. it’s just a spiderweb of hurt that never ends. i’m not saying you have to stay alive purely for others, but i am saying it’s something to consider when looking for reasons to stick around. another thought i often have is that i am going to be dead for all of eternity. it’s coming sooner than i think, and there’s nothing i can do about it. so i might as well ride it out until i get there and observe the brief flash of human consciousness i got. because it took coincidence after coincidence for millenia to get me here in the first place. but honestly, none of this is going to ring true for you if you don’t try to confront the underlying causes for these thoughts and feelings. i know it’s easier said than done, and idk the details of your situation or anything. but if it’s possible, or when it’s possible, i would really recommend reaching out to a professional - a hot line, your doctor, a support group, a therapist - if you can, or even just your friends and family to begin with. mental health issues are just as serious as physical health issues and often need the same level of medical care in order to overcome them. and that’s alright. you don’t have to go into great detail about what’s going on right away, and there’s no rush here. but learning to cope healthily and compartmentalize  by talking through your pain and being truly heard, is not as impossible as it seems at the moment. it is not some far away goal, it can begin by picking up the phone. obviously this is a super daunting prospect, and i understand that, but it’s just something to think about for now. you deserve support, and a future. this current mental anguish is not all there is. anyway sorry my answer is all over the place, none of this is coming out right and it probably wasn’t the best one i could give to be honest, but it’s where i’m at right now too and i just can not focus. sending you a lot of love. you do matter. please take care x

why are my words not beautiful?

here's a list of things that are ACTUALLY a result of capitalism but people feel like they're not:

•racism

•global warming

•homelesness

•poverty

•war

•class war

•education inequality

•pollution

•sexism

•imperialism

•colonialism

•slavery

•ableism

•immigration

•health insurance

•nature as a commodity

•concept of failure and success

•actual food lines

•destruction of the world

i can trace EVERY problem in the world back to capitalism. and now capitalism is very clearly failing in the middle of a pandemic & folks arent communist, socialist, or anarchist yet??? how y'all living?

sorry to disappoint but there's no murder, unfortunately, though dron murder husbands (while extremely ooc, least likely characters to actually get off their asses and kill someone) would be awesome

i'm referencing these tags specifically:

i too, hate when problems aren't simple enough to be solved by murder, we have to resort to hitting the books unfortunately 😔

random meme of a future scene in inspiral:

ron: i'm glad this experience could bring us closer

draco, feeling lightheaded: blood . . there's blood everywhere . . . [shakily covering his mouth with a hand] how are we going to clean this all up . .

dobby, popping in suddenly: i thought i be tellings wheezy and not-master draco to not be doing anything Fucking Stupid

anyways dobby nation rise up‼️

Federico García Lorca, Blood Wedding and Yerma

I burned so long so quiet you must have wondered

if I loved you back. I did, I did, I do.

Annelyse Gelman

Richard Jackson, from “Basic Algebra,”

My heart's in my mouth

Have you figured it out?

I still love you, even more now

Butterflies by Scouting for Girls

“This Is What Baggage Looks Like” Trista Mateer

As long as something is never even started, you never have to worry about it ending.

Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever

James Patterson, The Angel Experiment

And this urge to run away from what I love is a sort of sadism I no longer pretend to understand.

Martha Gellhorn, Selected Letters

I think I’d rather keep the bullet this time. It’s mine, you can’t have it, see,

I’m not giving it up. This way you still owe me, and that’s

as good as anything.

You can’t get out of this one, Henry, you can’t get it out of me, and with this bullet

lodged in my chest, covered with your name, I will turn myself into a gun, because

it’s all I have,

because I’m hungry and hollow and just want something to call my own.

Richard Siken, Crush (Wishbone)