🦔

The six levels of debugging

Humans Are Weird

So there has been a bit of “what if humans were the weird ones?” going around tumblr at the moment and Earth Day got me thinking. Earth is a wonky place, the axis tilts, the orbit wobbles, and the ground spews molten rock for goodness sakes. What if what makes humans weird is just our capacity to survive? What if all the other life bearing planets are these mild, Mediterranean climates with no seasons, no tectonic plates, and no intense weather? 

What if several species (including humans) land on a world and the humans are all “SCORE! Earth like world! Let’s get exploring before we get out competed!” And the planet starts offing the other aliens right and left, electric storms, hypothermia, tornadoes and the humans are just … there… counting seconds between flashes, having snowball fights, and just surviving. 

If I were author of a popular book with a huge fandom, I’d make a secret AO3 account and write fanfiction for my own story. Idk why but in my opinion that’s the funniest fucking thing you can do as a well-known author.

Imagine telling your fans you have a fanfiction account but not telling them how it’s named so they start making theories. Imagine not telling anyone and people in reviews will tell you your writing style reminds them of the original author. Or imagine being told that you write your own OCs out of character. That concept is so funny to me, I’m-

very very quick doodle of something i just experienced

not even JRR Tolkien, who famously developed the concept of the Secondary World and firmly believed that no trace of the Real World should be evoked in the fictional world, was able to remove potatoes from his literature. this is a man who developed whole languages and mythologies for his literary world, who justified its existence in English as a translation* simply because he was so miffed he couldn't get away with making the story fully alien to the real world. and not even he, in extremis, was so cruel as to deny his characters the heavenly potato. could not even conceive a universe devoid of the potato. such is its impact. everyone please take a moment to say thank you to South Americans for developing and cultivating one of earth's finest vegetables. the potato IS all that. literally world-changing food. bless.

Percy: When I was a kid the TV show I hated the most was called, “Dora the Explorer”

Percy: Okay, my mom made me watch it cuz she thought it was educational...yeah...she never watched the show.

Percy: The two things I learnt from the show was RAGE and ANGER...From that crop top, melon head, Mexican child.

Percy: Cuz she would just walk up to the screen and ask me “Hey! Where’s the red barn?” And I’m like “Dora! It’s right there!”

Percy: And then she would act all confused like I just spoke a different language and I’m getting irritated with this girl now

Percy: And she has the audacity to ask “where?” And I’m like “BEHIND YOU! DORA!!”

Percy: And she’s acting all confused again and then she goes to ask Map for help

Percy: And I’m like “WE DON’T NEED TO TALK TO MAP!!! ITS RIGHT BEHIND YOU DORA!!!! JUST TURN AROUND!!!!!”

Percy: AND SHE’S LOST NOW AND I CAN’T HANDLE THIS-

i want 24 blue checkmarks. twitter cannot get a dollar out of me but i want nothing more than a hoard of completely useless checkmarks that may or may not turn into crabs at any point.