Your Friend Had Recently Gotten Addicted To Snapchat. He Almost Never Put His Phone Down While You Saw

You were proud of your mom for going to the gym more, but you wish she didnt post pics of her sweat covered ass on instagram. 

You text your mom while shes over your friends house “helping him recover” from his injury.

you: Mom, I know you feel bad about Mike breaking his hand, but do you really need to sleep over his house to make sure hes ok?

mom: Baby it's fine, I'm a natural caretaker. His bed is a little small but if we squeeze together it won't matter. In fact, he asked me to stay for a few days. I’m gonna make sure his cast doesn't get wet while he showers, and help him scrub down so he doesn't have to use his hands. Can you bring me 3 more pairs of boyshorts? I’ve only got the ones I’m wearing. Thanks!

Mom: I’m sorry baby, but You Know the rules. My new boyfriend bought me these outfits specifically for the house. He love seeing me in as little as possible. I think I should give myself a little wedgie, he always gets hard when my thongs ride up my ass. Son, is my ass popping out enough? Pull this thong further up mommys cheecks will you?

Your friend and your mom have always been close, so when he got her this “shirt” for her birthday, she didn’t think anything of it. You begged her to throw it away but she refused, saying itd be rude. Now, she wears it whenever he comes over. He even took this pic of her and set it as his phones wallpaper. At school in the locker room showers, he passes his phone around so all your mutual friends can get some tension out. Everywhere you turn some guy has his dick in one hand and your moms pic in the other. Too bad coach makes you mop up after everyone leaves…

mom: Oh hey honey! I just came down to get some oj. I need you to do me a favor, wash this top and panties? Yea these ones got stained too. Wow, it's 3pm already?? Sorry, yesterday's little sleepover with mike is still going on. I know you hired him to teach you to box, but your mom needs to have a few rounds with him first. Trust me you're getting your money's worth, Im taking quite a pounding up there! He really knows how to work out. I'm pretty sure you can smell our sweat clear down the hall... Don't look at me like that, Im just making friends. And he already has me in his phone as I'm his 'lil bed buddy' It'd be rude to give him the cold shoulder now. Maybe he can get to teaching you next time... fourth times the charm right?

mom: Thanks for being so understanding honey, I wanna get my new boyfriend the best Christmas card he's ever gotten. Something he can really get some use out of. Any suggestions? What's that, You think I should pull the sides of my thong down and show a little hip? Ok, whatever you think is best.

mom: What's the matter sweetie, don't like my costume? Your friend's having that Christmas party and I wanna be as cute as possible. I know you don't like him that much but he's real nice to me. Always offering to oil me up in the summer. Remember when he got me those Victoria's Secret thongs for my birthday? That must've cost him so much. I had to thank him by sending pics of me in them, it's only fair. Now since he saw those he's been trying to get to to come to his party. Yes, I'm going like this. No, it's final! I already sent him a selfie of it and he can't get enough. I'm gonna buy him a Santa hat too, so he can ride his little reindeer all Christmas Eve night.

Since shes discovered Facebook, your mom has developed a selfie addiction. At the same time, after they friended her, the men in your town became chronic masurbators. Im sure its just a coincidence.

You hadn't seen your mom since noon yesterday, and you're starting to worry. She said she was going on a date with a guy she met on tinder. You told her not to wear her tight leggings when meeting a stranger, and now you fear the worst has happened.  

You finally text her: ¨Mom, are you ok?¨

a few minuets pass

Mom´s phone: ¨Shes fine, we just lost track of time.¨

You: ¨Is this her date? Prove to me she ok right now or Im calling the cops.¨

Mom´s phone: ¨Yes it is. Shes watching tv right now, see?¨

He sends you a pic.

Those leggings you told her not to wear weren´t in sight, and it dosen´t look like shes wearing panties either... 

Your mom sent you a text from her boyfriend's house one night.

mom: Hey honey! Mike is so sweet, he bought me this outfit for when I sleep over. I have to be more careful though, I’ve already lost the bottoms twice tonight! He took the pic, I have my hands busy right now.

you: What are you guys doing?

mom: He asked me to shave his balls, but every time I try to move his cock out of the way, it bounces and hits me on the cheek! Gotta go, if we’re gonna get this done I need to give him a really good crotch massage. xoxo