Beautiful From Ordinary Days

the zoo is closed forever because a zookeeper developed psychic powers and is using her mind to fling penguins at anyone who tries to stop her

I wish octopus could learn how to read. They could be pen pals with middle schoolers.

looks like this friend gets everything BUT bbc

i have a friend who has kinda bad eczema on their right hand but their left hand is fine and thats because acidity makes eczema worse and that includes vaginal acidity and my friend is both a lesbian and a slut so they finger a lot of people and that fucks up the hand they use (their right hand). Anyways do you think BBC sherlock would deduce that by looking at my friend’s hands

Are you taken?

Yes, taken for granted.

never not reblogging bruce the apeshit parrot

been going insane over Bruce in his eating dome for 24 hrs now

Full offense but some of you would run upstairs when pursued by a murderer

Men who admit their faults 😘🤌

for our grade 12 formal a guy asked me to be his partner and i was like ‘ok’ but he told me to not wear heels because he was like 5’4 and it would make him feel bad and i considered it but then i remembered a few years before he was in my maths class and i was struggling with a maths problem because i had been sick earlier that week and he told me if i paid attention or even showed up to class that i would understand it anyway i wore 5 inch sparkly heels and the only thing he said to me was ‘this is because of grade 9 right?’ and i said that it was and i am glad he knew exactly where he went wrong

i like to pretend i already died and asked god to send me back to earth so i can swim in lakes again and see mountains and get my heart broken and love my friends and cry so hard in the bathroom and go grocery shopping 1,000 more times. and that i promised i would never forget the miracle of being here