It’s Talking Heads Kermit Friday

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“no matter how badly you think you’re doing it, someone else has done it a lot worse and been fine” is applicable to a wide, wide range of things and i say it to myself all the time

Hot Shit | Tom Cardy

@s-creations

Training course!

01>>02

banging pots and pans wake up dollins girlies

hate them so bad ❌❌❌❌❌

Bowuigi Selkie AU

Ch. 2: The Sea's Curious Eyes

Luigi was perplexed as to why he engaged in this forbidden act. His brother had explicitly prohibited it and with good reason. Nevertheless, he defied his brother's words and emerged from the ocean's depths, stepping onto the stable ground.

The young selkie concealed himself behind a cluster of rocks, draping his enchanted coat over his shoulders. From a secure vantage point, he observed the pirate captain effortlessly casting his net into the vast expanse of the ocean. Luigi attentively watched as the mariner skillfully reeled in his catch, taking note of the captain's impressively defined arm and chest muscles.

He had never encountered a being quite like this before. It was evident that this individual was not human, not only due to their distinct physical appearance, but also because of their remarkable affinity for the sea. Luigi observed with fascination as the reptilian creature skillfully plucked fish from the net, carefully selecting only those it required and returning the rest to the ocean. The captain's nurturing behavior towards the marine ecosystem was truly remarkable. Luigi tilted his head and cooed. He’s taking what he needs, he thought. 

The mustachioed selkie has witnessed this unfortunate occurrence far too often: entire reefs decimated by individuals driven by self-interest. He has found himself consoling sharks in their final moments, as they are callously tossed back into the water with their fins brutally torn from their bodies. On a few occasions, he and his brother have taken on the responsibility of nurturing an orphaned whale calf, left motherless due to the insatiable pursuit of profit.

But yet, here stood someone who clearly defied all that.

After he gathered enough, the turtle-dragon reached into his pocket and retrieved a piece of cloth; once he held it to the light, Luigi saw there was a gemstone within. The captain walked deeper into the tide, then dropped the gem into the sea where it was quickly swallowed by a wave; a thank you for the sustenance it provided. 

Mario was wrong about these pirates, if they even were that to begin with. Luigi has never seen such a respectful gesture for the sea. Whoever they are, the selkie would like to know them. His heart was racing at the thought. 

The captain kneeled down and grabbed the basket of fish, stopping a moment to wipe his brow before setting off down the beach. Luigi gasped softly, then quickly slipped his coat on and sank into the watery depths. He raced towards the spot the captain had just been mere moments ago, scouring the sands below. After a few minutes, he found what he was looking for.

The beautiful gem the captain dropped to the sea.

.

.

.

Once again, ignoring his brother’s words, Luigi continued observing the island’s visitor from a distance for the rest of the day. He watched from a safe distance (so Mario couldn’t technically reprimand him)  and tried to remain in his seal form. For the most part, it would seem the crew was just passing by and resting after a seemingly long trip.

They weren’t doing anything harmful, just playing on the beach and maintaining their ship. It was a rather domestic sight; furthermore, it soothed his fears and anxieties that they were to cause harm. And with that settled, Luigi decided to call it a day and head back to the den. Mario must be wondering where he was.

╚══ ≪ °❈° ≫ ══╝

Oh, Bowser was more than aware he was being watched. He could see their silhouette out of the corner of his eye and could smell them from his position; despite that, the captain was not too concerned. 

It wasn’t every day he was within the presence of a selkie.

Kamek has told him stories of the mysterious creatures ever since he was little, how they were shape-shifters that took the appearance of seals and guarded reefs. At first, Bowser didn’t believe it was a selkie spying on them from a distance; however, his encounter and their scent proved otherwise. He remembered vividly that the seal that interrupted his nap had vibrant blue eyes, something he had never seen or heard occur in seals; furthermore, they had a darker spot on their snout that looked a lot like a mustache. 

Not only did their appearance differ, but their behavior exhibited a higher level of sentience compared to that of a typical animal. These distinctive qualities served as undeniable evidence supporting Bowser's assertion. However, possessing this knowledge did not provide him with much assistance. The presence of a selkie, a harbinger of good fortune, following him was indeed an honorable occurrence, but how does he respond?! 

Bowser dropped a jewel into the sea, but was that enough? The least he wanted to do was insult the guardian of this island! He also worried that he may have somehow upset them; after all, they were being rather vigilant towards him. He should consult Kamek as soon as he can.

With a huff of smoke, Bowser headed down the beach and boarded the ship, weaving his way through the relaxed crew. Some seemed to be playing betting games, playing Liar’s dice or darts; others busied themselves writing letters to loved ones or preparing meals for the day. The captain smiled softly at the sight, then headed below the decks and toward the officer’s quarters. 

Entering the officer's quarters, Bowser found Kamek engrossed in a collection of maps and charts spread across a large wooden table. The quartermaster looked up and adjusted his glasses, “Hello captain, how did your net fishing go?” he asked.

Bowser walked over and grabbed a stool. “Got quite the catch today; the crew will be happy having fresh fish rather than the dry rations for supper for the next few days.”

“Yes, our rations have been low so this will most certainly buy us some time before we reach the next ” replied Kamek. “However, you didn’t come here to tell me about that.”

The aging sailor got up and grabbed a book from the lining shelves; he flicked through its pages before walking back to the desk. Bowser nervously wrung his hands, “You’re right about that,” he said. He waited a moment for Kamek to get comfortable before just coming out to say it. 

“We are being watched by a selkie.”

Kamek's eyes widened in surprise as he absorbed Bowser's words. The mention of a selkie immediately piqued his interest, for he knew that these mythical creatures were known to possess magical abilities and had a deep connection with the sea.

"Are you certain?" Kamek asked, his voice filled with a mix of curiosity and concern. "How did you come to this conclusion?"

Bowser leaned forward in his chair, brow furrowed. "I've been noticing some strange occurrences lately," he explained. "Unexplained ripples in the water, glimpses of a shimmering figure disappearing beneath the waves, and an eerie feeling that we're constantly being observed."

Suddenly Kamek appeared in front of him, clutching his shirt. He stared intently into Bowser’s eyes, “Do you have any idea what this means?!”

“No… That’s why I’m telling you,”

Kamek let go and started pacing, “Selkies are such skittish creatures; rightfully so, considering there are wretched bastards out there willing to steal their coats.”

Bowser growled at the mention. To steal a selkie’s coat was to steal a piece of them; it was a truly despicable crime. And the fact that most did so to force the magical creatures into marriage just made it even more horrible. They have every right to be afraid of landfolk. Kamek snapped his fingers, catching his attention. “Bowser, you haven’t told anyone else about your suspicions, right?” he asked.

The captain shook his head. “I wasn’t about to risk their safety,” he replied. “But what does this mean? Why are they so interested in us?”

Kamek tapped his chin and walked around. The two stood there, mulling over the situation. After a few moments of silence, the quartermaster snapped his fingers, “Perhaps they misunderstood our presence,” he said. He walked over to his desk and retrieved some random materials; a polished gemstone, an empty bottle, and other miscellaneous items. Bowser watched as he walked around, grabbing ingredients from baskets and shelves.

The captain watched as he worked with a confused look on his face. Kamek threw them into the cauldron, then looked at an old calendar behind his seat. Mumbling under his breath, the koopa continued going, completely ignoring his presence. Bowser crossed his arms, “What’re you doing?” he asked. 

Kamek started stirring the contents in the cauldron. “Preparing an offering for you to give them,” he replied. “Tonight’s a full moon, so it’s perfect! With this, we may be able to convince them that we mean no harm.”

“Why do I have to do it?” asked Bowser.

“Because you were the one that noticed their presence and are the captain of this ship.”

Bowser grumbled. It’s not that he doesn’t want to do this; he’s just deadly afraid he’ll mess up and insult the selkie. As Kamek continued to stir the contents in the cauldron, a mixture of herbs and mystical ingredients, Bowser couldn't help but feel a sense of unease. He glanced at Kamek, who seemed confident in their plan. "But what if they don't believe us? What if they attack instead?" Bowser voiced his concerns, his voice laced with worry.

Kamek paused for a moment, considering Bowser's words. "I understand your fears, Bowser," he replied calmly. "But we have to try. The selkies are powerful beings, and if we can convince them that our intentions are peaceful, they might even bless us."

Bowser sighed heavily, realizing that Kamek was right. He had been the one to notice the presence of the selkies near their ship during their journey through these treacherous waters. Having a selkie’s blessing would do them some good, considering the foe they were facing. King Boo would do anything to tear them, considering they were a threat to his rule. And who knew… perhaps the mystical shape-shifter will get closer, allowing themselves to be seen by him.

.

.

.

Nighttime quickly fell upon them. The captain waited until everyone was asleep below decks before proceeding with his plan. Carefully, he quickly put on his boots and grabbed the offering basket; for someone of such size, Bower managed to leave the ship silently. 

The moon hung high in the sky, casting an ethereal glow over the vast expanse of the ocean. Bower's eyes scanned the horizon, searching for any signs of danger or unwanted attention. Sand crunched softly beneath his feet as he headed towards a familiar set of rocks; hopefully, that would be close enough for him to see them, but not too close that he’ll scare the selkie.

Reciting Kamek’s instructions under his breath, Bowser held the gemstone into the moonlight before placing it inside the basket. He walked to the tree line and retrieved some colorful flowers; he meticulously placed them inside the basket then put it into the tranquil waters. The captain gave it a small nudge forward and watched it drift away.

╚══ ≪ °❈° ≫ ══╝

“Where were you today, bro?” asked Mario.

Luigi clutched his bowl of food tightly. He hasn’t come up with an excuse for his absence today; he was too busy gawking watching over the captain. Something simple should work; Mario looked exhausted after swimming all the way to the Jellie Kingdom and spending a full day with the princess. With a forced smile, Luigi replied, "Oh, you know, just helped some of the Jellies with their seagrass fields. The currents were strong today" He hoped his nonchalant tone would divert Mario's suspicions.

Mario sighed. “Ah, that makes sense!” he said. 

“H-how was your date with Peach?” Luigi asked in a desperate attempt to change the topic.

Mario threw another log into the fire. Thankfully, the cove they lived in was big enough that the smoke could exit with ease and the light wouldn’t be too noticeable. The elder twin adjusted his coat around his hips and sat down, “Everything went well. We had lunch and I carried her around to see some of the flower patches outside the lagoon,” he said.

Luigi listened intently; it always lifted his spirits when Mario talked about Peach. The mermaid was such a sweet soul, caring for the kingdom that took her in during a time of need. That and she made his brother very happy. While the relationship seemed odd from the outside, (a relationship between a selkie and a mermaid was unheard of) the two really cared for each other and made it work. Since Mario could also walk on land, he would often carry Peach along with him, allowing the princess to see the world outside the massive lagoon within the island. 

Some day, Luigi hopes to be with some like that.

The first person that came to mind in that department was the pirate captain. The thought surprised him, causing him to choke on a bite of food. Luigi had always been a dreamer, occasionally envisioning himself in extraordinary situations and seeking companionship with unique individuals. He remembered his short-lived crush on the spunky merl Daisy from the Betta tribe. Or that other time, he embarrassed himself in front of a royal court because he couldn’t stop blushing when the seahorse mer Peasly kept chatting with him.

As he sat there, gasping for air (and assuring his brother that he was okay) after his unexpected choking episode, he couldn't help but wonder why the pirate captain had popped into his mind. It’s not like he didn’t meet his taste in partners. The captain seemed to possess an air of confidence and freedom that Luigi found incredibly alluring. Not to mention he was rather aesthetically pleasing in Luigi’s eyes. The way his scales shimmered in the light, those bright red eyes…

Luigi was pulled away from his daydreaming to hear something heavy fall to the ground. He looked to the other side of the fire and saw Mario on the floor, snoring louder than a walrus. The younger brother put his bowl of cold food to the side, then got up. He picked Mario up and carried him to his bed of woven seagrass. Luigi draped a blanket over him before walking to the entrance of the cove.

A bright light in the distance caught his attention; something was shimmering with moonlight. Luigi squinted, trying to get a better view but couldn’t discern what it was. He looked over his shoulder; Mario was out cold, he wouldn’t wake up until morning. Luigi had plenty of time to check out what this mysterious light was. Slipping on his coat, the now transformed seal headed towards it.

He is just…so FUN to draw HHNNNNGGGG

I JUST WANNA HOLD HIS FACE AND TELL HIM EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY ;-;

:P

Oh to kick my little feet from atop a giant’s big intertwined hands....

Anyway reblog to make sure all the investors know that, according to u/spez AKA Steve Huffman, the CEO of the fucking company, Reddit is, and I quote, "not profitable." Their IPO is supposedly planned for later this year. Have fun with that, Steve!