Remember: Other People’s Pain Does Not Negate Your Own, Even If Their Pain Is “worse.” The Reverse

Remember: Other people’s pain does not negate your own, even if their pain is “worse.” The reverse is also true: your pain doesn’t negate anyone else’s. While in some cases it might be upsetting to hear other people complain about “problems” that seem minor to you, saying things like “you haven’t really been hurt” is counterproductive; if a person says in good faith that something is painful to them or a struggle for them, it is. Comparing issues based on who has it worst usually leads to more hurt.

The queer community is full of hurt people.

This can lead to a knee-jerk reaction when we hear someone else say "I am hurt". We look at them and say "shut up, you're not as hurt as me because you have X privilege".

This leads to femme afab queers being told "you can pass and hide as cishet, you're not as hurt as queer women who look queer, you're just complying with the patriarchy's ideals for beauty, you're hurting the queer community, you're anti feminist."

It leads to masc afab people, whether trans men or nonbinary or genderqueer etc, being told everything from "you're not as hurt, you can pass as a cis man" to "you have no desire to transition, you still look like a girl, shut up".

It leads to trans amab people who are nonbinary or genderqueer or agender etc, who still dress or look "masculine", being told that they are "unsafe" for queer spaces, that they don't belong at a "women and nonbinary meeting", that they are "basically just cis men trying to escape accountability".

It leads to asexuals being told "you don't even feel sexual attraction, the thing we're ostracized for! how could you possibly be oppressed? You're just straight and a prude" and aromantics being told "you're just straight and like casual sex, get over yourself" and both being told "you're just a cishet who wants to steal resources".

I have heard every single kind of queer person say "I have been harmed and ostracized by the queer community". Lesbians, gay men, bisexuals and mspec people, trans people, aroace people - every single one of us has expressed feeling ostracized by our own community.

On the plus side, this means you're not alone. Your group isn't the only one facing this. You have allies!! Other queer people who have gone through what you've gone through!

We need queer unity. We need to stop attacking each other. If you feel the urge to say "shut up, my group has been hurt MORE", go take a walk. Remember that every single one of us has been hurt.

More Posts from Spectruminterests and Others

2 years ago
A Signed Version Of The Fixed Chart, For Reposting

a signed version of the fixed chart, for reposting


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1 year ago

I love this. I want to make music and art about how much I love my friends and my headmate* and heck, how much I love dandelions and everything I see them as standing for. We are not broken. We are not lacking. We are complete and beautiful human beings. I have so much love in my life, and I am grateful for it.

*Though it’s been a complicated relationship to rival any confusing on-again-off-again romance, lol

spectruminterests - Neurodivergent obsessions

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1 year ago

To people who are desperately asking for fundz/donations on tumblr.

USE THESE REDDIT SUBS INSTEAD PLEASE FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!!!!!!!!

Hate Reddit if you want, but using these subs are your best chance. People gather in these subs because they have charity to spare:

/r/Assistance /r/legaladvice /r/RandomKindness /r/Charity /r/care /r/Random_Acts_Of_Pizza /r/Food_Pantry https://www.reddit.com/r/RandomActsOfPetFood/ https://www.reddit.com/r/RandomActsOfChristmas/ https://www.reddit.com/r/almosthomeless/ https://www.reddit.com/r/homeless

/r/freelance  /r/povertyfinance /r/thrifty /r/borrow /r/gofundme

/r/depression /r/familysupport /r/transitions 

I never see anyone actually getting any significant donations on tumblr and to be honest, tumblr is the worst place to ask for assistance. Use it as your last resort, it frustrates me to no end seeing people begging for help, reblogging the same post over and over, the same types of posts over and over, to no avail, when people are waiting to help you on a different part of the web  GO TO WHERE THE HELP IS. IF YOU WANT DIRECT ACTION TO WORK STOP WITH TUMBLR AND USE REDDIT.

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF SATAN REBLOG THIS SO WE CAN START REDUCING THE AMOUNT OF DONATION POSTS THAT GET STUCK FLOATING AROUND THIS WEBSITE


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4 months ago

Please stop ✋🚨 you're the only hope to save a child🥺

Please Help Me – My Son May Die at Any Moment. Donate or at Least Share This Appeal.

I am in desperate need of your help.

My son’s life is hanging by a thread, and he may not survive without urgent medical treatment.

Time is running out, and we are facing a critical situation. I am asking for your generosity to help us save him – either through a donation or by sharing this urgent plea with others.

I lost most of my family. I'm afraid to lose my son too

I beg you, kiss your feet, to help my son. My son may die at any moment

Donate now:👇

https://gofund.me/46d97a28

Please donate and/or share this fundraiser if you are able!


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2 years ago

@lizardonatoadstool Thank you for your continued support for Oakie the Acorn! Enjoy this bird I was drawing in class :)

@lizardonatoadstool Thank You For Your Continued Support For Oakie The Acorn! Enjoy This Bird I Was Drawing

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2 years ago

hello I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. The anonymity of tumblr means that I associate my idea/image of you with your icon and sometimes I look at people’s icons and I’m like ‘hmmm….what is that and why?’ 

so pls reblog this and comment in the tags the meaning behind your icon and why you chose it. this is a social experiment. do it for science pls.


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2 years ago

Frisk and Chara my autistic body-sharing blorbos let’s goooo

Doubles Round 1

Doubles Round 1

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spectruminterests - Neurodivergent obsessions
Neurodivergent obsessions

Hi, we're the River System! Katlyn (she/they) and Jacob (he/him). Came for the fandoms, stayed for the off-the-wall and the cringe. 22, autistic (language abled and low support needs), Environmental Biology major. Actual Mad Scientists ;) [We do science and don't do sanity!] Mostly this is Katlyn obsessing over bugs and fandoms (Undertale, Hollow Knight, Little Nightmares, Fire Emblem: Awakening, RWBY, Arcane). Also may include photography, dark aesthetics, and general chaos from Jacob. (Cover photo by Sagar Patil on Unsplash)

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