I Absolutely Love Fics Where Bruce And Clark Have No Idea Who Their Secret Identities Are And They Fall

Young Bruce content? Young Bruce content 😌

Bruce absolutely adored babysitting Barbara. He loved every second he spent with her and before he had the courage to ask Jim if Barbara could stay the weekend. . .

Jim: Hey Bruce, I'm here to pick up Barbara.

Bruce, who is currently holding Barbara in his hands: Who?

Jim: . . . Barbara. . . My child-

Bruce: Never heard of her-

Jim: Bruce you're holding her right now-

Bruce: . . .

Jim: . . .

Bruce: *Casually walks over to a lamp and puts the lamp shade over Barbara's head* This is a lamp, Jim-

Peak Dilf Bruce Wayne

Bruce is insecure about his position in his family.

The seed was planted from the beginning, when he first met Dick and was turned down as a father.

At that time, he himself didn't think it was a big deal. Dick is a traumatized kid who has yet to know him. But as the time passed, it became something Bruce would lie awake thinking about. Should he ask again? Would Dick be mad if he did?

And then Dick leaves.

That cements it in Bruce's heart. He isn't Dick's father, and his relationship with Dick is dependent on they being Batman and Robin.

Because he was not a good enough Batman, he lost Robin, and with Robin, Dick too is gone.

Next, Jason. Bruce has a new son, one that is legally his. This time I will do everything right, he swore. Then Jason is gone.

When Jason returns, he refuses to return to Bruce because he was such a failure as Batman.

Tim came to Bruce because of Batman. Tim wants Batman and never Bruce.

Even when Tim's parents are being awful. Even when Tim needs a parent, Bruce will never be a choice Tim considers. That much was clear.

Tim admired Batman but never wanted anything to do with Bruce.

Cassandra is his daughter. She even seems to like being his daughter. But with how low the bar for her father's position is, he can't help thinking about how she would want to leave him too when she knows better.

At least there is no way she can find a better Batman, even if she finds a better father.

Damian is his biological son. Damian is proud of that fact. He feels like he should be more secure in his position as Damian's father, but he just can't. Dick is a better father to Damian than he is. He can see it. Everyone can see it. Day after day, he feels like he's losing Damain's respect little by little, each time he can't understand him or be at ease with him like Dick. To make it worse, Damian's Batman is Dick before Bruce. Damian sees Batman as something great, and Bruce is Batman, but he is still not Damian's Batman.

He doesn't know what he would do if one day Damian looked at his version of Batman and found it lacking.

Batman needed to be perfect or he would lose his family.

(If he ever told his children about this, they would scream for hours about how false it was. For years, they have seen Bruce as their father. For years, they desperately wanted Bruce to be a father before Batman. But Bruce doesn't know.)

tim drake’s snapchat is 90% him making bruce wayne do normal middle-class american things and filming the results. popular youtube compilations include the one where they’re at denny’s at two in the morning and tim keeps trying to get bruce to order a moon over my hammy just so he’ll have to say it, the one where they’re at disneyworld and bruce gets increasingly frazzled culminating in him actually physically picking up gaston for reasons no one can entirely recall, and everyone’s favorite series “bruce wayne doesn’t understand walmart”

He should shatter his spinal cord

As a treat :)

jason todd should get to shoot the joker.

as a treat.

Jason should be able to bend all of the jokers joints (yes ALL of them) backwards

As a treat 😌

Bruce getting stuck in a situation and having no choice but to call and wait on Clark to help him

Bruce: [trapped in a cave after an avalanche] “well shit… Clark? Clark! Clark!”

Clark: [shows up 30 minutes later. Uses heat vision to melt through the snow] “I’m here. Sorry, I was having dinner with ma and pa”

Bruce: [shivering uncontrollably] “you know what? I’m telling Martha you let me sit here in the cold so you could eat some fucking apple pie”

Headcanon that Dami will speak Arabic when he’s really pissed off,

he thought Bruce could’t understand (but actually Bruce does).

and Happy Children’s Day : )

Teen Bruce pt 2: things I hear at school electric boogaloo

Bruce: *nodding along to a random guy talking about how "he would def suck Brandon's dick as long as he could ensure they would remain bros and not make it gay between them, bc he's not gay and Brandon's not gay so it would be more of a service to Brandon actually, just a favour really-"*

--

Bruce: all I've got is one's in my pocket, I feel like a stripper

--

Bruce: *thinks PSAT is a disease at first*

--

Bruce: what're y'all being for halloween? I'm gonna be a nasty little whore.

--

Bruce @ teen!Harv: really? after all the arson I watched you commit? we're still in the friend zone???

--

Bruce: *watches selina and talia doing something stupid* polyam is a thing. a great, fantastic thing.

bruce has two phones, whatever newest wayne tech phone there is and the phone he had when jason died.

all most all pictures of jason are on the original phone, so when jason died he was terrified to get a new phone. because you always lose something when you get a new phone, and the thought of losing anything of jason panicked bruce. it was fine for a little bit but then wayne tech made a new phone and if bruce wasn’t seen with it everyone would lose there minds.

bruce ended up with two phones. he never uses the phone with jason’s picture, it’s in his nightstand. it’s in an otter box with everything backed up. but he refuses to risk it. the only reason he turns on the phone is to make sure the phone still works and everything’s okay, and to look at baby jay.