Reblog If You’ve Read Fanfictions That Are More Professional, Better Written Than Some Actual Novels.

Can I vent for a second.

I have no weed. Just an empty cart. I’m also broke as shit.

But not only that, I texted one of my friends n her bf answers for her. But he doesn’t tell me he’s her bf. And is all like “idk who that is” n acting like this is the wrong number.

I have originally hit her up if she knew any sellers. This bitch texts me “that’s bad for you:)”

…

…

..

I DONT EVEN KNOW THIS FUCKER????? LIKE??? Ts piss me off sooooo bad. Get off her FUCKING PHONEEEE I’m gonna tear my hair out ughhh

Anyways.

Happy Easter.

P2 to the Valentine Smau will come soon. I have all the ppl that wanna be tagged in a list.

Just a note to all the bfs out there: don’t answer for your gf if you don’t know the friend. And don’t act like this isn’t her.

Me when I download a text app so I can make smau where jjk men have to grovel 🤭🤭🤭🤭

Update: holy fuck why are these apps so hard to use??? Why can’t I find good ones? Someone drop me a good app to use so I can make smau’s to fill my delusions. Please.

You leave the bed for food

—In which, you leave the bed at ungodly hours without telling them, only for them to find out you're at WaffleHouse. JJK various: Gojo, Suguru, Choso, Toji, Nanami, Sukuna

A/n: My first time doing a various, lmk if you like it <3. And also, I'm starting a tag list for Smau's or like my reg imagines n shit. lmk if you'd like to be added.

When gojo is giving you back shots and missionaries come to his door. (I’m high as shit)

Tw: smut no plot, pre established relationship, backshots, Christianity, short blurb.

“Fuck- o-oh fuck- no come on, don’t run from it pretty.” Gojo had you pressed face down ass up with a mean arch in your back. His hand was on your nape and his other holding your hip in an iron grip as he slammed his cock in and out. The sound echoed all throughout the house as his pelvis snapped against your ass.

His hand eventually coming down to slap it and grab the fat. Groans and moans constantly leaving him as he tilted his head back when you tightened around him.

“F-feels so- so good!” You breathlessly moaned, hands near about ripping the sheets from how tight your holding them.

Your eyes were rolling back and you were getting so close to finishing to. That was until the bell rang.

Gojo rolled his eyes as just fucked you harder, but the bell kept ringing. Over. And over. And over again.

Finally Gojo’s jaw clenched and his face soured as he was forced to pull out. Pressed a kiss to your shoulder he slipped on a pair of grey sweats and walked to the front door. Yanking it open, he glared down at the people at his door.

Two men, one fat and one really short, stood there. A pamphlet in hand with an image of Jesus on the cross, “would you like to join our church?”

“No.” Gojo was so quick to answer, his knuckle white on the door frame. His cock was throbbing so hard, knowing that you were in bed waiting for him.

“Sir, you should reconsider. The lord accepts all who rep-“

“Toruuu! Come back baby, I need you.” You called out for him, your voice a sultry whine.

The men blinked a few times, in shock at what they heard.

“I said no. Fuck off.” Slamming the door in their face, Gojo locked before ripping off his sweats and getting back into bed with you.

Wasting no time to bully his cock back into you and keep giving you backshots.

Garden injuries, Sukuna R.

—in which you’re Sukuna’s gardener (future wife), and you accidentally injure yourself. And hide it from him. But he finds out anyway.

Part two, part three>>>

A/n: I need ideas, help help help help

Sighing, you stood up straight, wiping the sweat from your brow. The sun was harsh on your skin, the tan you’d worked up had brought you a shade or two darker since the beginning of this week.

You wore a simple pair of overalls, a bit baggy on you. And under, you wore a simple spaghetti strap tank top and gloves to protect your hands. Sukuna always disapproved of your clothing choice, always called it ‘peasant human attire’, he stopped when he watched you work one day, watching as sweat would roll down your neck and into your cleavage, or how your skin looked like it was practically glowing in the sun, his eyes drinking in the sight of you working hungrily.

You held a pair of pruning shears in hand as you cleaned up a bush, making sure the garden was maintained and looking gorgeous.

Pulling away from the bush, you smiled at your work, however hearing a voice behind you suddenly had you jolting. The grip on the shears loosened and it slipped between your fingers. Before promptly slicing down your thigh, creating a good size gash from your hip to lower thigh.

Gasping in pain, you bit your lip hard. The man who had snuck up on you was simply a new servant of Sukuna’s who needed to find a certain fruit that Sukuna had requested.

However, his face turned pale when he saw the accident take place. Knowing damn well how valued you are to him. “Oh my goodness— I am so sorry!”

“No no! It’s fine, not your fault. I should have been more careful,” sighing, you looked down at your bleeding leg, the pain making your knees weak and your hands clenched into fists, “lessons were learned. Don’t tell Lord Sukuna, okay? He has enough to worry about as is.” You smiled sweetly at him, despite the pain that made you want to bash your brain into a brick.

Immediately, you hobbled away to go get secret medical attention. Working hard to avoid Uraume, as well as trying to keep your heart steady so Sukuna wouldn’t get suspicious. You didn’t know how it worked, but he always told you he could hear your emotions. Which admittedly pissed you off because that meant he would read you like a book.

You’d gone and gotten yourself stitched and wrapped up. And made sure to only wear pants. Much to Sukuna’s displeasure.

Anytime you were in a room with Sukuna, you would do a 180 and leave the room, trying to walk as normally as possible. Not only was your time with Sukuna hindered, but so was your work in the garden.

It was hard to do what you needed to do with your injury, and Sukuna was quick to notice.

“Miss y/n, you’ve been summoned by Sukuna. He wishes to see you in his bed chambers.” A servant walked over to you, eyeing you curiously. No doubt wondering why you were hobbling around and not doing as good a job as you usually did.

“Right. Ok.” You nodded, hissing as you planted your foot wrong and it sent a jolt of pain up your bandaged thigh.

The walk there was terrible. You were sweating and shaking slightly due to the pain. Brows furrowed in relief when you finally made it to his bed chambers. Knocking on the large door, immediately it opened.

Sukuna stared down at you, looking furious, but immediately paused. The scent of blood and wounded flesh filled his nostrils, and he immediately yanked you inside. “Foolish human, what have you done?” He snapped and forced you to sit on his writing table.

“Ow shit!—“ cursing in pain from Sukuna plopping you down onto the table, only to be followed by him ripping the pants off of you. “H-hey— stop wait-“

Sukuna stared at the wound on your leg for a long time. His jaw clenched as he tried to calm himself down. His favorite human, no, future wife and queen, was wounded. And bad at that, it looked infected. The stitches were threatening to pop and the bandages were too tight, giving it no room to breathe.

Taking a deep breath, he summoned Uraume into the room. And they were there just like that.

“Fix this.” Pointing to the wound on your thigh, he pulled out the chair under the table and sat down. His steely glare locked onto you the entire time Uraume checked over the wound and began trying their best to repair the shitty stitching. “Why have you hidden this from me, brat?”

Your nails dug into the table, creating scratch marks as your jaw tightened in pain. Resisting the urge to yelp in pain each time Uraume wasn’t careful with their nails they’d scratch the wound or dip their finger in it.

“It wasn’t— it wasn’t, fuck,” you whimpered, tilting your head back, sweat dripping down your face and chest, your chest raising up and down with the deep, fast breaths you took, “—r-relevant.”

Sukuna stared at you, his eyes growing dark at your words. Not relevant? To him? You belonged to him. Every inch of you was relevant to him. Not only that, he would never admit it, he totally would, but the sight of you, sweaty, nails digging into the table and whimpering like that had his cock stirring in his pants. Although quickly the boner that was beginning to form immediately softened when he remembered that you were in immense pain and not pleasure.

He’d fix that later though.

“Listen to me when I say this, human,” grabbing your jaw, a tight grip but gentle in his own way, he forced you to look at him, “Every little thing you do, every breath you take, every beat of your heart, all of it. All of it is relevant to me. You are mine. My human. My woman.” He was stern as he spoke to you.

You swallowed weakly, his words had your heart racing faster and faster, and you knew he could tell because a shit-eating smirk rose to his lips.

“You cannot deny me, your own body knows it belongs to me.” His smirk was cocky, and it just had you rolling your eyes with a weak smile.

“Lord Sukuna,” Uraume got his attention quickly as they showed him the infected bits of the wound, “it is badly infected. With the way it’s spread, combined with her fever, I believe we need some medicine.”

Sukuna just nodded, “Do whatever you must. Get one of the servants to move all of her belongings to my chamber at once.”

You just groaned in relief when Uraume finally stopped digging in your gash. And let your back fall against the table. Your head resting on the table between his arms.

Sukuna rested his chin on his fist, looking down at you with dark and curious eyes. Reaching down, he let his nails gently trace your face. And he found himself growing addicted to the way you would seek his touch, your eyes fluttering closed.

“Mm yes, you are my human,” Sukuna spoke, mainly to himself. “I will claim you when this wound heals. You will be by my side, no longer just a gardener.”

“Mmmhm…” you just hummed, not opening your eyes as you fell asleep tug at your consciousness.

i loveeeee substance abuse and rats (as long as they are not near me) as wellllll what a coincidence !!!

OMG BRAIN TWIN BRAIN TWIN!!! (Ilysm🥹)

MASTERLIST and RULES

Minors DO NOT INTERACT. Ageless blogs DO NOT INTERACT. DO NOT STEAL MY WORK, or upload it to another platform! Don't ask me to write threesomes. Or anything that wouldn't be allowed on Pornhub, (rape, sa, noncon, etc.). Don't request any piss, shit, incest or stepcest. Istg I will tweak. Be nice in the comments. All of my Sally Face fics, regardless of fluff or not, are all during or after they start college. So all are 18+, unless it's a cute little high school bit.

🌶️- spicy 🌸- fluffy 💔- angst ☀️- funny/crack 💔🌸 - hurt/comfort 💔🥀- hurt/no comfort

JJK imagines;

Gojo Satoru

"Why are you so clingy?" 💔🥀 “Why are you so clingy?” P.2 💔☀️ "Why are you so clingy?" P.3 💔🌸 "Why are you so clingy?" P.4 🌸🌶️ "Why won't you marry me?!" 💔🌸 Jealousy🌶️ Morning sex🌶️🌸 Let me pamper you🌸 Drunk sex 🌶️ Pheromone perfume 🌶️ Outrageous positions🌶️ Plotting🌶️🌸 They go low, you go lower☀️ You have an RBF☀️ He threw it all away💔 Your insecure💔🌶️ Backshots and missionaries 🌶️ Useless💔 Single? Finally.💔🌸 Freaky in the club.🌶️ Cowgirls and Rodeos ☀️ Long missions🌶️🌸 Big ass n beach sex🌶️ Secret gym visits💔🌸 You're a crashout☀️ Dating Hc's🌸🌶️ He drops you on accident🌸☀️ "We're breaking up" , "Wrong." 💔🌸 Secret super sex drive🌶️

Sukuna Ryomen

Garden injuries🌸 Garden injuries p.2🌶️🌸 Garden injuries p.3🌸 He's obsessed with you.🌶️

JJK various

Are you cheating on me? 🌶️☀️

JJK Smau;

You text first but your phone died, G.S.☀️ Boyfriend Texts, G.S.☀️ You left the bed for Wafflehouse various ☀️ You dreamt they cheated on you Various ☀️ Happy Valentines! Oh nvm. 💔🥀

Happy valentines! Oh nvm. P.2 💔🥀🌶️

Sally Face Imagines;

Larry Johnson

Trapped in his arms🌸 Metal concert hc's☀️🌶️

Garden injuries p.3

—In which you find yourself missing your garden. <<part one, part two

A/n: This is probably going to be my last part, but anything after this that is related to this prompt/mini series will be just like stupid little blurbs, yk?

Sighing in relief, you wiped the sweat from your brow. You’d just managed to change the bandages on your leg, and that by itself was a workout.

It was irritating. You felt useless. Your only job was to tend to the garden— but he’d given that to some half pint, half assed little man. You didn’t like that little man, he let some flowers die.

And while having Sukuna’s affections and favor toward you was nice— you missed being special— being valuable for that reason. You knew the garden and everything it needed. No one else knew. No one took care of it like you did.

And while you were glaring at the wall, a pissy pout on your lips, you didn’t notice walking in, only to pause and stare at you. His eyes narrowed and it was like he tried to read your thoughts.

“What’s on your mind, brat?” Sukuna sat down a bowl of meat and fruit— thankfully not human, and just grilled chicken. Sukuna had tried that once, but when you’d figured out what it was— before eating it, you screamed and screamed and screamed at him. It didn’t matter if he threatened you, you were appalled.

Lessons were learned.

You’re not a cannibal.

Blinking from your trance, you look up to Sukuna, eyeing the frustrated frown on his lips. “What’s the matter? Eat.” He poked the side of your head and finally nodded in satisfaction when you did eat.

“You’ve replaced me.” You huffed, before gladly choking down the food. Being critically wounded in the leg would do it to a person. You’ve found yourself much more hungry and thirsty now a days. Maybe it was just having to deal with Sukuna’s energy. Or how he had his fingers or face shoved up your cunt 24/7.

“What are you on about now? If anything, I’ve raised your status. Of course, you’ll almost be as powerful as me when I make you my queen.” He grinned when he heard your heartbeat pick up. Oh he loved knowing the effect he had on you.

“Ok, but, now all I do all day is sit around and watch as your replacement ruins the garden.” You turned away from him, glaring outside the large open window and down at the garden.

“You’re still mad about that?” Sukuna rolled his eyes before wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling back into him as he sat. Your back rested on his chest and his knees were propped on either side of you.

“Yes.” You melted back against him nonetheless. His warmth always had you relaxing into him.

“You don’t want to be my queen?” Sukuna’s voice dropped a level, his eyes turning to a narrow glare.

“What? No. I never said that.” You turned your head to look at him so fast it gave you whiplash. “I just don’t like that some man is touching my garden.”

Sukuna wordlessly raised a brow, looking both amused and unimpressed at the same time.

“Your garden, hm?” Leaning in, he pressed sweet little kisses all along your neck, before promptly biting down on your shoulder, deep enough to actually draw a bit off blood.

“Ow! Hey— that hurts!” You tried to push him off by his forehead, hissing at the sting when he finally pulled away. “You are so mean.”

“You’re the one letting power get to your head. Calling it your garden, human you truly are something.” Sukuna grinned away the wound, happy with the way he could see each teeth mark imbedded into your kiss. The little pricks of blood giving him a level of satisfaction he’d never admit.

“Well— I- whatever.” Scoffing, you crossed your arms and looked back out the window.

“Seeing you so upset over something so trivial is quite amusing.” His arms tightened around you, and your scowl deepened.

“When will my leg heal?” Ignoring his comment, you tilted your head back to peak up at him.

“Hopefully not for a long time. I enjoy having you here like this… having to lean on me completely.” Sukuna just bit into your cheek. Grinning, almost smiling, when you whined and pulled away.

“Stop biting me! I’m going to have bruises everywhere. The servants look at me weird— and your concubines??? Where have they all gone?” You side eyed him, only for him to scoop you up and sit you on a table. Your legs dangling from the table.

“I don’t need them. Unfortunately for me, you’ve infected my brain like a little parasite. Well, humans are parasites, yet you seem to be my favorite.”

“How are you so mean but sweet at the same time?” You sighed, only to glare out the window again.

“You are impossible to please, woman. I will give you the garden, as long as you swear you’ll be my queen once you heal.” Sukuna pulled your face back over to him, his hand coming up to hold you cheeks.

Your eyes widened and a big smile pulled at your lips. “Really?”

Sukuna just sighed and rolled his eyes.

“Then yes! I will.” Pressing a kiss to his lips, only to pull away when he moved to take a step away.

A shit eating evil little fucking smirk on his lips, “of course, if you said no I’d still make you my queen and would flay the earth ‘til you said yes, but I am glad you did.”

You could only roll your eyes, “Anddd you ruined it.” Sighing, you looked down at your leg, before giving him a cheeky grin, “can I have some mango’s, my king?” You teased him.

Sukuna could feel his eye twitch and his cock throb, “and you call me evil. When you heal, be prepared to not walk for another week, woman.” Sukuna pressed a deep kiss to your lips, only for you to smile into it.

“Yeah, yeah.”

Taglist @sofi4dsam @xyinparadise @satttanx

Larry Johnson who…

Refuses to let you out of bed once he has his arms wrapped around you. Back against the headboard, you between his legs with your back pressed against his chest.

You’d been moving around Larry’s apartments the entire day, cleaning every single room until it was spotless.

Larry couldn’t understand it, poor man just wanted to wrap you up in his arms, smoke a blunt and get cozy for a movie.

And it took all damn day to get you into bed with him. And when he had you with him, you wouldn’t be moving for the next four hours.

His long hair was tied into a messy bun, courtesy of you skitzing about his hair tickling your neck, and he rested his chin on your shoulder. Watching as you rolled a blunt with the manga flavored cigarillo shell you’d snagged from Sal earlier that day.

“I don’t think mango’s gonna taste good.” Larry mumbled, his breath fanning your neck.

“Hush now,” reaching behind you, you blindly touched at his face till you found his mouth, “it’ll taste amazing.”

It in fact did not. Larry coughed like it was his first time hitting a blunt and cringed. His nose wrinkling as he immediately handed it back to you. “Like I said, it doesn’t match.”

“I dunno what’s wrong with you, but this shit slaps. Thank you very much.” You just huffed, and took a deep drag before blowing it in his face.

“You are so lucky I’m in love with you.” Larry rolled his eyes and wrapped his arms tighter around you.

“You’re obsessed with me.” You grinned before paying attention to the show Larry had begged you to watch with him.

I'm in my Sally Face era for the billionth time 🤭