I Adore Garth

Jason: yo, whatcha doin’? Damian: *arms crossed, glaring out the window* Father forbade me from moving out Jason: well you are like fiv— Damian: is this not called the land of the free? Jason: Damian: how can I be free, held within these walls like a canary in a coal mine? Forbidden from spreading my wings? Jason: bro you ain’t even in middle school yet, turn off the teenage angst and have one of the cookies I brought you Damian: *huffs and petulantly accepts the cookie* Jason: why’d’ya even wanna move out anyway? Damian: Jason: Damian: . . . Father said he would not allow me to house a tiger here, which I find unacceptable Jason: Jason: you. Have a tiger? Damian: *frowning* have I not mentioned this before? You must have seen her during your time in the League, Akhi. She was but a cub then Jason: KID, YOU KNOW I WAS HIGH AS A KITE ON GREEN ANGER JUICE WHILE I WAS RHERE. THE ONLY THINGS I CARED ABOUT WERE YOU, THAT ONE DESSERT MADE IN THE KITCHENS WITH RICE, AND THE EXTREMELY ENTICING IDEA OF BURNING THIS MANOR TO THE GROUND. YOU KNOW MY MEMORY OF THAT TIME IS SPOTTIER THAN DICK’S ABILITY TO ACCEPT PHONE CALLS. WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I WOULD REMEMBER A FUCKIN CAT? I AINT EVEN A CAT PERSON Damian: *arches brow* really? You were the one to help me bottle feed her. She slept in your lap most nights. Jason: Jason: this is manipulation Damian: 🥺 Jason: Jason: fine. She can stay at my house. But you’re explaining this to Dickie.

there is a voice inside my head that whispers “wing au” every time i join a new fandom. it is currently winning.

Bruce, giving teen!Jason the shittiest car driving lesson ever: And remember, if you still hadn't figured out how to park, and a police officer tries to fine you for that, just tell your name backwards. The CGPD has too much job to actually search for you afterwards. They will just have a pile on your name in their department. And I didn't tell you that, but their system hadn't been updated well for ages. So, they won't be able to tell for sure if you are lying about your name or not. 16!Jason, nodding: Sounds cool. Bruce: ...It is not cool, but Alfred said it works, so we listen to Alfred.

(Years later, pre-reveal)

Batman, standing on the rooftop: So, Jim... anything new? Jim Gordon: Yeah, you know, nothing, actually. Except for an asshole, whose parking fines are filling my whole fucking cabinet. He keeps putting his bike anywhere he wants, especially next to our building - an audacity! - and then, disappears after receiving a fine. I can't find him anywhere. Batman, chuckling: That's smart. Jim Gordon: Yeah, fuck him. Tason Jodd, my ass. Who fucking names their kid like that? Batman, with his smile disappearing: ...What. Jim Gordon: What? Batman: ...Jim. I need you to call me the next time this guy appears. Jim Gordon, concerned: Hey, this is just a teenager. It is fine, no need to break his spine or something- Batman: Use Bat-signal next time you see him. I am serious. Jim Gordon: ...What the hell. Sure?

Damian, six years old: but WHY can’t i have a pet?!

Talia, tired:

Damian: i promise i’ll take care of it real good!

Talia: i said no seven hours ago

Damian: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE-

Talia: for gods sake

~later~

Damian:

Talia: this is your new pet brother. now stop whining.

Jason:

Damian:

Jason: when you said ‘take care of my kid’ i thought you meant babysitting for an hour or two-

Talia: it was you or a husky, now shut up. you’re his brother now.

Damian, to Jason: how often should i walk you?

Jason: i should never have climbed back out of the lazarus pit.

Headcanon Bruce never says I love you. However, he does end all texts with “love dad” to all his children.

Post resurrection Jason receives a text from Bruce inviting him to the manor for brunch.

He smashes his phone then cries for an hour.

when the dying place is lonely

Jason "stole batman's tires" Todd would pull ts I know it

Yearner Jason is so real to me!!!!