hai deer how was ur day ?!
hi anon!!!! i enrolled for classes for my final semester today wooo !!!!!!! but i have a big essay due tmr tho that i gotta start LMAO but it's been really good !
thank you for asking anon :) please tell me about your day!!!
my new years resolution is to clear out my inbox and reply to everyone's requests š¼ so im locking tf in !!!
hai deer :3 anon who made the aro dazai ask here, thank you for the food š it was everything i wanted and more š©
anyway, wanted to wish you well on your essay! i hope school isnt beating your ass too hard, YOU CAN GET THROUGH THIS !!!
also i was thinking of an emoji to give myself because i plan on pestering you for the near future ?? maybe š©µ, but anything you give me is fine
YAYYY glad you enjoyed!!! mmmm aro dazai good food
AND THANK YOU!!!!! i just turned it in so i'm back to answer requests :3 school isn't too bad when i have y'all to look forward to š cheesy af my bad
YES you can be 𩵠! my first emoji anon awooga i feel like a real tumblr writer now šŖš»
small insinuation of self harm
Dazai realizing he loves his s/o, telling them, and then wanting to tell the world ! He's very dramatic, so he repeats it religiously at the agency - a mantra that follows him everywhere :))
Until afterwards when he's alone in his apartment, heart beating out of his chest and feeling especially anxious. What's wrong with him? He didn't do anything differently today than he normally does...
He thinks hard as to what might be causing this, when the door opens and you step in. Oh, he's anxious about you.
But why? He loves you! He's quick to say it as you close and lock his door, and the feeling suddenly returns.
Oh.
He feels a sudden urge to break up with you, loosen contact, drive you away - Does he love you? He didn't want to tell anyone else (he did, he regrets it now). What happens if he falls out of love? Why did he do that? His chest just keeps squeezing, keeps constricting ā feeling almost as though he was drowning in his thoughts. A moment of reprieve is granted only by the gentle placement of your hand over his heart.
"Are you alright?"
A few deep breaths and Dazai's heart rate is back in his control. Yes, he loves you, he thinks. But saying it is too scary.
Dazai just looks at you, a war tearing between his brain and his heart, unable to decide how to feel. His brain wants him to vanish: pack up and leave you forever so he doesn't have to deal with this vulnerability. His heart, however, wants to pull you closer. Never leave you, never let you out of his sight, always keep you within six feet of him to protect and loveā and like you.
You pull his head onto your chest, cradling it in one hand as the other cards through his hair. "You can tell me anything, you know."
Dazai knows. But telling you he's not actually sure he loves you after his huge breakthrough what was merely the night before feels cruel.
It took a lot for him to open up and admit that, and he's not sure he can open up and admit that he regrets it. He should leave you - you deserve someone better, someone who can shout from the rooftops that you're theirs. But selfishly, he wants to hold you close and let you sooth him.
Seeing him still so torn, not moving as you hold him, causes a frown to come onto your face. All you want is for him to be happy and healthy and loved, and you'd thought you had a 66.67% success rate (you're working on the health thing). Like Dazai had moments prior, you wrack your brain for a change, and quickly land the same place he did: his love for you.
You smile softly, maybe a little sadly, and pull him closer until he's sitting on your lap. "Osamu," you press a kiss to the crown of his head.
He says nothing, just staring blankly. This is the hardest he's ever had to work to keep his heart in check, to stop the frantic beating. Is it hot in here? Should he take off his coat? Why can't he tell everyone he loves his partner? He does love them, he does.
How are you supposed to approach this? If you say you don't have to love me, he could go on the defensive. You just want him to relax. "I'd never force you to do something against your best interest."
Dazai meekly nods. Of course not. You always focus on him and his needs, emotionally and physically. You pack him lunches so he doesn't skip it at work and force him to eat dinners with you most nights. He just now notices the plastic takeout bag on the table - you must have brought that in when you first arrived. You want what's best for him, and he loves you for that! Doesn't he? Does he?
"I don't want you to force yourself into doing anythingā saying anything you aren't ready for yet."
Dazai shuts his eyes tightly. Of course you figured it out. Feeling anxious, his heart beats desperately as he relinquishes control, not caring if you notice. Several soft apologies begin to fall from his lips quicker than you can stop them. The turmoil of this is eating him alive, and he hates it. Is running still an option? Does he even want to? The only thing keeping him from opening up new scars tonight is the feeling of your fingers in his hair. He's not sure if he'd leave even if you made him.
Fuck, but staying is so hard. His hands move up to tightly grip the fabric of your shirt, bunching it up between his fingers in hopes to ground himself.
You say nothing, allowing Dazai time to collect himself. Minutes pass, the food you brought likely cold now as Dazai just breathes in your embrace. A small growl from your stomach pulls him from his head finally, a small smile on his face as he looks up, seeing an embarrassed blush decorating your cheeks.
"Sorry, sorry!" Suddenly you're burying your head in Dazai's chest, seeking solace from your embarrassment. You trust him, love him enough to let him comfort you, just as he does you. A groan comes out of your mouth as your hands cover your face.
Dazai chuckles, pulling your head up before gently removing the hands covering your face. Your shoulders fall as Dazai's smile makes you relax. Whatever's bothering him won't go away over night, but you'll always be there to help.
"Come on, let's go eat," Dazai says, voice much calmer than it is when he's loudly boasting about his s/o at the agency. You don't mind. You like this version of Dazai all the same.
He loves you, he's sure of it. He just needs some time to properly accept it before yelling it from the rooftops - and you're more than happy to give him that time.
PM DAZAI ANON THAT WRITING WAS SO SWEET AND GOOD . whipped pathetic hopeless in love dazai is the only dazai tbh!!!! HES A LOSER AND WE SUPPORT HIM
UEHUSHFUSIE IM GLAD YOU LIKED IT!!!!! dazai soo pathetic wet cat losercore ,,, urg i hate him
Dazai likes having someone to take care of; It helps him to take care of himself. After all, if he goes, who will be there to look after you? He doesnāt realize just how much he likes it until heās slipping things into your drinks and food, keeping you in your sick and weakened state.
Surely he isnāt doing anything wrong, youād be scolding him if he was. And yet, you thank him so genuinely, looking at him with such hopeful and appreciative eyes... Heās definitely doing the right thing, heās taking care of you! Anyone would appreciate that, right?
Hello! Are requests open?
If not, ignore this ask.
I wanted to ask you a beast dazai x neglected reader. Like, a reader who has been ignored and neglected from her entire family since she grow up. She no longer gets goodbyes, she has to cook for herself, her parents don't even acknowledge her when she's sick.
She's been recently accepted as a member of the port, more specifically a secretary of the one and only Dazai Osamu in flesh and bones. Just her luck, this so "scary demon prodigy" is also the sweetest most loyal and pretty boyfriend of her.
When Dazai finds out how she gets (or rather not get) treated at home, he gets genuinely pissed off!! And wanting her to just be good, he asks her if she want to spend sometime in his penthouse, far from that family, somewhere where all the attention she needs is on her, at least there Dazai can actually show her how much she's worth all the love in the world! Come on, she gave him a reason to live, how could he even accept she is living a shitty life in such an house?
Also, PLEASE, PLEASE. An au where beast dazai doesn't kill himself. Also, I love the concept that in every universe the reader and him are soulmates. Like, it's just so perfect I'm so in love with that idea!!
ALSO AGAIN OPS, i wanted to say that I LOVE LOVE your dazai SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH!!!! I've recently stumbled into your blog and I MUST SAY THAT THIS IS JUST.. PERFECT???? I love YOU, deer, for all your wonderful ideas, I love THE ASKS, because damn all your asks give just as wonderful ideas as the one you write out, and I love YOUR WORKS especially the y!dazai like yes???? Just yes????
(My favorite character is Chuuya, but my soft spot for Beast dazai is actually insane, you don't even imagine how much I love that man. Also, because my heart just hurt and break each time people talk about Dazai being a cheater, THANK YOU??? THE ASK, AND YOUR REPLY, THANK YOU SO MUCH??? COULDN'T LIVE WITH THE FEELING DAZAI THAT CHEATS ANYMORE! THANK YOU THANK YOU)
Anyways.
Woah, this got long, I swear I'm not crazy..
Can I be ā³ļø anon if no one else is??
HIII ā³ļø ANON!!! im so glad you enjoy my works and my dazai!!! (as opposed to . asagiris dazai lmaooo)
im sorry this is so late š but im back on the writing grind š¼
The lights were on in your boyfriendās penthouse, a bolt of worry shooting down your spine at the sight. With his spare key haphazardly shoved into your pocket and door left wide open, you tiptoe into what should've been his apartment, trying to find out if someone broke in.
Dazai had asked you to stop by and drop off something at his place ā not exactly standard work for a secretary but you were happy to assist your boyfriend. In your arms now were the groceries a different lackey had picked up and left on your desk. Normally Dazai would take them back himself, he said, but he would need to stay at work late and finish up some things. You were to take his place and make sure the refrigerated goods didnāt go bad. Thatās what he said to you, anyway, which you found a bit confounding; Couldn't he have a lackey bring it up in your stead? Sure, Dazai liked to bring his own food to his home to alleviate the threat of poison, but it wouldn't be the first time he let it happen anyway.
While you had been a bit skeptical, pushing the topic seemed unnecessary since you were more than willing to do it either way. Any time spent far from your home and your family was time you cherished, so you didnāt think twice before accepting his stupid and unusual request and taking his spare penthouse key.
But now, you were regretting it. Anyone capable of breaking into the Port Mafia bossās penthouse was not someone to be underestimated: you were in serious trouble. Cautiously, you hold the paper bags tightly to keep the food from moving around noisily before peeking into the kitchen: the room with the lights on. What could they be doing here..?
Plating dinner, apparently.
āLove! Youāve finally arrived - good. Take a seat!ā
Your boyfriend was donned in a frilly pink apron youāre sure he bought just for this occasion, since you've never seen him in it before. With an amused chuckle, you stepped back. "Let me close the door then I'll join you."
After putting away all of the groceries he'd asked you to bring home for him - and realizing he already had all of these items in his cupboards and refrigerator already - you tug on the ribbon keeping the apron fixed against his neck.
The top half falls down from his chest, curling over the second tie around his hips and dangling loosely. "Undressing me already?" Dazai hums playfully.
"You're obnoxious." Next comes the tie around his waist, the bunched up apron fabric quickly pulled against your chest. You gently push Dazai to the side as you unfold it. "C'mon, I'll take over now."
Dazai huffs childishly, pouting dramatically for the full effect. "Hey!" He reaches out, snagging the apron from you and quickly tying it back on himself. Hands securely gripping your waist, Dazai lifts you from the ground and carries you - feet hovering just over the wooden floor - to the dining room, where an empty basket sits between variously sized candles on a decorated table.
On either side of the table are empty plates and fancy napkins, ones you hadn't known Dazai even owned, with cutlery resting on top. Two glasses sit on the table, one scotch and one wine glass, both filled with their respective drinks. Dazai sets you down next to the table, feet finally touching the floor once again while his arms snake out from your waist, making sure to pat your tummy once as his hand slides around it.
"Hope you're hungry - I made your favorite. It's all plated and ready to go, I just... burnt the bread you like. That garlicky kind from that restaurant we went to a few weeks ago? I gently requested the chef to give me the recipe and she happily handed it over! Of course, it must've been my handsome good looks that finally made her acquiesce rather than the gun in my coat pocketā "
Your wonderful boyfriend continues to prattle on and yet you barely register any of it, just thinking about how he knew you liked that bread and wanted to go to extreme lengths to recreate it for you. A bit timidly, you hold his hands in yours, giving them a mild squeeze. "I can't believe you went to the trouble."
The sound of your whisper makes Dazai grin, puffing out his chest in pride. "Of course! I'd do anything for my love," he says, voice leaning more on the side of egotistical than genuine, a light joke hoping to make you laugh. Like always, he succeeds.
The kiss you press to his cheek makes his smile turn more sincere, a hand moving to flatten the frilly pink fabric around his waist. "Guess you read my apron."
You look down, noticing the tacky KISS THE CHEF embroidered onto the front. A playful scoff passes your lips, rolling your eyes while trying to bite back a smile. "You're annoying. How long have you had this?"
"Umm~," he hums for a moment. "7 hours? And I thought you said I was obnoxious." A high pitched ding! sounds from the kitchen, Dazai quickly rushing back and leaving you alone. You gaze back at the dinner table he set up, smiling excitedly at the thought of him putting all this together just for you.
Spending time with Dazai always lifts a weight off of your shoulders, laughing at his dumb jokes and complaining about your day - itās a wonderful feeling the both of you lacked prior. Him from his upbringing in the mafia, following in Moriās footsteps and cursed to take his position, and you - not allowed to rely on anyone except yourself from the moment you could walk. Both you and Dazai were accustomed to loneliness and isolation, knowing the only people you could trust were yourselves.
Coming together after forced alienation all your life made you bit hesitant to depend on him, especially at first. Asking for attention and affection is much scarier than just wanting it. However, Dazai had seemed to warm up to the idea relatively quickly, as though he already knew you could be trusted and had already been used to your presence.
It was a bit jarring, knowing the scary mafia boss was so enamored with you he'd practically jump onto you if you got too close. All things considered, he should've been as cautious as you were, but Dazai so easily slid into his role as your partner. Sometimes you feel bad knowing that you haven't been as forthcoming as he has.
"Stay with me tonight."
The sudden turn in conversation makes you freeze, hand pausing with your glass of wine lingering just in front of your lips. Conversation had been flowing easily just moments prior ā chatting about each other's day and various similar small talk, before turning to the dinner at hand. You'd thanked Dazai for the meal before asking him why he decided to do this for you so randomly. Instead of answering, he'd simply replied with the above: stay with me tonight.
"Stay here? Overnight? It's a bit last minute..."
Dazai smiles as you set your wine glass down, staring at him as though expecting an elaboration. Which, of course, he's willing to supply. "And tomorrow night, if you'd like. The one after and every night after that."
Is he asking me to move in? you think, breath hitching. It's all so sudden; you'd never even discussed this possibility with him. Sure, you've spent a night or two over here and there - but very sporadically. It wasn't something often and definitely not frequent enough to lead into moving in so soon.
"Stop overthinking," he cuts into your thoughts. "Take what I'm saying at face value." Gently, Dazai's hand reaches out to grab yours, arm resting on the table as his thumb traces your knuckles. "Stay with me tonight. And we can reassess tomorrow."
Of course he knows how to calm you down, causing you to breathe as you focus on his thumb's ministrations on your hand. Well, it would be nice, knowing the options are to stay with your loving boyfriend or go home to your neglectful family. They wouldn't even notice you're gone, much less care where you ended up, but...
"I have pajamas and clothes for you to use, spare toothbrush and the like." Dazai had answered your question before you even asked, something that always made you smile. No one had ever taken the time to know you, much less well enough to read your mind like that. "If they're not to your liking, I'll have a subordinate get you something else."
You shake your head, wanting nothing more than to spend a night away from your home once again. Or away from your house, rather - since Dazai has quickly proven himself to be your home. "I bet they're perfect. And if not, Iā " you hesitate, not wanting to impose. The last thing you wanted was to beā
"You aren't a burden. If not, we can just get something else," Dazai cuts off your train of thought. "I want to, okay? I want to take care of you. I want you to know what it's like to be looked after and taken care of."
"I was going to say if not, maybe I can move some of my clothes here... for the times I stay over." Anxiously, you pick up your fork to poke and prod at your meal, the lovely dinner Dazai had crafted just for you consisting of only your favorite foods.
Dazai nods quickly, eyes glimmering at the idea. He knows this is your metaphorical olive branch, letting him know that you're working up to one day moving in with him. All he wants and all he's ever wanted for as long as he's known you, spanning across multiple lives, is to keep you safe and happy.
The topic changes as dinner continues, and before you know it you're donned in the most expensive pajamas curled up against Dazai fast asleep. Watching you snore beside him, all he can think about is making sure you're surrounded solely by people who cherish you.
i would like to tie the ends of his bandages into a little ribbon so he wouldnāt have to tuck it in messily anymore </3
Dazai was frustrated. He was always able to keep his cool, but it was just one of those days; It seemed that everything that could go wrong, would. And now, the ends of his bandages kept coming undone, and no amount of haphazard tucking could save him.
Concealing his frustration was easy, as it always was for him, but you noticed the accidental huff he couldn't keep in. "You alright, Dazai?"
He shoved his hands into his pockets and nodded. "Why wouldn't I be?" comes his reply, complimented with his award-winning smile.
"Because of your bandages, I assume," you gently grab his forearm, pulling a hand out of his pocket.
Dazai's face fell, no longer able to contain the cumulated frustration of his horrible day. "They justā they won't just stay," he spoke as evenly as he could in the moment.
Deciding not to comment on his attempt to mask such an uneven voice, you nodded. Gently, you grab the edge of his bandages and pull them up, causing Dazai to freeze. Not wanting him uncomfortable, you move swiftly, working as quickly as you can without compromising the shape of theā
"Bow?" Dazai seemed shocked.
"It shouldn't unravel now. It might help to double knot it, though... Is this fine?" You spoke softly, cradling his bandaged wrist in your hands.
For once, he's caught speechless. A tiny nod is his response, and you hold your hand out; if Dazai wants you to tie the other, he can give you his hand ā if not, then he can move away. The last thing you wanted was to force him; it's clear Dazai wasn't the most comfortable he's been when you started.
Yet, he hands it to you, gently resting the appendage between your outstretched fingers. Swooning feels like an understatement as your mind races, but you try to remain calm. You repeat the same actions, gently tying the loose strips into another cute bow to keep them from unraveling.
Double knotting the bows can come another day. For now, this is more than enough, and Dazai canāt help the soft smile on his lips. āThanks,ā he mutters.
You merely shrug in response. Anytime.
your blog is so very cool :33
thank you anon :3
y!dazai buying plushies and clothes for you :) but since heās a massive douchebag he ended making you cry about it (probably didnāt feel bad either bleh)
he feels like he need to coddle you every single minute of the day or else heāll go batshit crazy
anon i thought this said MAKING clothes for u i was about to cheer imagine dazai with his precise and nimble fingers hand sewing clothing for himself during the two years he spent underground, patching holes in his jacket and such ouughhh.. his darling gifts him a sewing machine after seeing his dodgy sewing set up utilizing a single bent needle and a lot of patience that he doesnāt normally have⦠ARE YOU ALL SEEING THIS TOOā¦ā¦ tbh tho heād prick himself one (1) time with the needle and never pick one up again heās such a baby or heād swallow one
Kidnapper!Dazai who drones on and on about how hard he works to provide for the two of you, the least you can do is cuddle the plushies he got you if not him. Thatās money that could have gone towards the betterment of your forcibly shared apartment, rather than some childish plushies just to keep you placated. Stop crying, thatās why he got them for you, remember?
wait hold on
He tries and be all sweet and doting, dropping the plush on top of some cozy pajamas heād purchased for you that day. With a delusional smile heād pull you into a hug, tugging at the hem of your pants claiming he wants a fashion show. At least the pajamas are modest ā long pant legs and sleeves that at least cover your shoulders. The worst offender has a low neckline, but heās sure youāll appreciate that he didnāt go for anything too crazy. Youāll gently push him away, picking up the stuffed plush from the thick paper bags instead: It looks just like the one you had as a child. Dazai knows this, of course, like he knows everything else about you. He sits back with a smug grin, watching as you gently push it from one hand to the other.
The difference between this plush and the one sitting in storage at your parentsā home is the life brought into it: fur that is no longer matted from love and eyes that arenāt scuffed and scraped from kicking it off your bed at night⦠Wow, you missed those days. You missed your mom. A frown crosses your face as you turn towards your shared bedroom, deciding to spend sometime on your own. Before you can enact these plans, however, Dazai plucks the stuffie from your gentle grip, holding him high above your head. Your eyes widen and your face immediately drops. Hadnāt he already taken so much from you? Tears begin falling before you can even register it, too caught up in the sudden fear that youād lose another part of yourself. Your parents, your friends, your life before this: it was all imprinted onto that stupid stuffed toy Dazai had gotten as an afterthought.
Yet, he continued to dangle it over your head. āYouāll get this little fella back when you answer me. Donāt you wanna make me as happy as Iāve made you?ā
Happy? You couldnāt help but feel sick. With how long youāve been in Dazaiās home, you knew expressing that wouldnāt get you the plushie back. The sleeve of your current outfit helps to wipe the tears off of your cheeks. āFa-fashion show, right? Okay, okay,ā you mutter while dropping to your knees, digging through the bag of clothing for the first set.
This is not your prompt but Dazai who bought a cam stuffie. Unbeknownst to you, the eye of the cute little teddy your dear friend gifted you fed video straight to his laptop at all hours of the day. He spends his nights watching you sleep peacefully; the rise and fall of your chest soothing him and giving him something to focus on other than the negative thoughts on his mind. Something about the way youād pat the little bear on the head every morning had him swooning, as though you were doing the action to him. Weirdly enough, you always seemed to turn the little teddy away before changing⦠Oh well ā Dazai would have plenty of time to see everything he wants to once youāre finally together: something he envisions happening soon.
this is not proofread bc i have soo much due rn... classes are kicking my ass!!! hope you like it anon :)
hiii stuffeddeerers :) i got smth queued up for tmr but this is an UPDATE POST!!!! im reaching my final two or three weeks of this semester and will likely be drowning in work! i have one other rq finished that i'll post later, but outside of that i might be mia for a bit :))) ill still read whatever gets sent to my inbox tho bc i cant stay away from yall for long ā¤ļø (flirting)