Cicero: You’re… Still Alive. Cicero Respects The Listener’s Abilities Of Course, But Could You

Imagine when Bruno was a teen, or while he was growing up in general, if he wanted to be left alone all he'd have to do was go to the top of the stairs in his room like imagine-

Alma: *standing at the bottom of the stairs* Bruno, get down here now!

5 seconds later

Bruno's voice from the distance: NO!

Wilbur: A Syndicate is a group of people with a singular goal. Almost like a government.

Wilbur: *Looks deadass at the camera, very knowingly*

Teen skk but they casually bonk their head for no reason. Like two cats bumping their heads. You see Chuuya standing and texting and here comes Dazai. He bumps their head together (from front) to peek at the screen.

"Who are you texting?"

"Your mom"

Dazai taking a nap somewhere and here comes Chuuya to full force smash his forehead against Dazai’s only to say

"Let's go to the arcade"

"I'm not a child like you"

"We're both 15 Dazai"

two: *constantly getting horribly injured*

the brigadier: oh dear. do not like this.

three: *constantly getting horribly injured, spent his first few days alive absolutely spaced out, really bad balance because he's not used to being 6'3"*

the brigadier: right. must have a doctor on hand.

four: *constantly getting horribly injured, spent his first few days alive absolutely spaced out*

the brigadier: aha! i know this one! here, doctor, have a doctor.

four: thanks, alistair! *steals him*

the brigadier: fuck.

More OSMP Headcanons!

Wilbur didn't have abusive as much as he did neglectful parents, so when Tommy (5) and Technoblade (10) paid his house a visit, they took one look around and decided "yup he's ours now".

Tommy cried a lot as a kid. Not necessarily out of sadness, that was just how he reacted to very emotional situations. When he was older, it turned to yelling because he didn't like the pity he got before.

Tommy didn't bother to make his own views on government, but looked at Wilbur getting into it and went "no king <3".

He went with Techno's ideology, "I seriously couldn't give a fuck as long as it isn't bothering me".

Niki was found as a 12 year old in the lake, and was the only kid Phil needed no persuading to keep. She was a sweetheart.

Ranboo is a jerk but. Different, depending on who he's with. He's a lovable asshole with Bench Trio, but just an actual jerk with everyone else. He has favorites.

Tubbo and Ranboo act like they hate each other, so it was a surprise to everyone when they announced they were (platonically) married.

Scott crash-landed from the stars onto the SMP when he was younger, and claimed homophobia whenever Phil tried to get him to leave. So he stayed.

Phil's the resident father figure and canon 911 so he gets no sleep and needs to be paid more. He loves them though.

Fundy’s just a random kid Wilbur picked off the streets, he's barely younger than him. Wilbur refused to let him go.

Technoblade spent a lot of his childhood looking after Tommy, so once Tommy had friends and family that could take care of him, and he was old enough, Techno left to wander the world.

Wilbur flickers from invisible to solid when he's agitated/sad, so people take objects from him when he's feeling intense emotion.

Niki's like Ranboo's big sister, and tends to mediate all the fights he gets himself into. (A lot of them). She's the only reason he's on speaking terms with like half the server.

Ranboo and Tommy met before they met Tubbo, on one of Ranboo's few trips to the Overworld he was allowed when he was younger. They kept in touch through letters and sneaking out.

Ranboo's a prince, but ran away to live his own life. He didn't know many survival skills, and refuses to accept help.

Technoblade and Tommy were attached at the hip when they were younger, and Wilbur got jealous sometimes.

Techno insisted on Tommy being named Theseus, just because he loved the name. He calls Wil Icarus. He refuses to tell him why.

Tommy introduced Tubbo and Ranboo, it was hatred at first sight <3 (then they got married).

Ranboo's of the firm belief that money can buy happiness, actually. He throws expensive shit at his friends to cheer them up.

Charlie is God. That's it. That's the headcanon.

Ranboo looks up to Phil a lot, despite how he acts. He desperately wants to make the best father figure he's had proud.

Some asshole insulted my Ukranian roommate then had the audacity to send a "apology" letter (or so he claimed) that even through my autistic brain was so rude and insensitive that it actually pissed me off. He claims that because what he said was "just facts" that he wasn't in the wrong and didn't need to apologize for what he said and sent an apple gift card as sympathy for the going on in Ukraine and with her friends and family there. No care whatsoever that what he said hurt her. He expressed no care for her feelings anywhere in this essay long letter, it was literally framed like he was telling the history of Ukraine for a school assignment for most of it, and to make it worse the last line reads "ps.dont strive for happiness, you will be disappointed every day." After this man man-splained the history of her own country to her.

"Facts don't care about feelings." Maybe, but people sure as hell should.

Dream, standing on a chair: The floor is hating Tubbo!

Tommy: *Leaps into Wilbur’s arms*

Wilbur: *Climbs onto the file cabinet while carrying Tommy*

Ranboo: *Jumps up on the windowsill*

Niki: *Sits gingerly on the table*

Puffy: *Lounges on a chair with her legs on the table*

Tubbo: *Lies on the floor*

Everyone: Tubbo nO-

Jack: Can I have another cookie?

Dean: What did Cas say?

Jack: He said no

Dean: Then why should I say yes?

Jack: because he’s not the boss of you

Dean, internally: it’s a trap it’s a trap it’s a trap

I feel Jake is the kind of alter who only fronts for like 10 seconds if the system is doing something he doesn't like, changes it, and then fucks off again.

Marc Spector: Im going to smoke this cigarette because it helps me fit in with a crowd (he is actually just a dramatic sadboy)

Jake: Yeets it across the room, leaves front

Sheriff Stilinski, answering a call to the loft: I came as fast as I could, what’s the emergency?

Derek: I accidentally raised my voice at Stiles and I need to be arrested.

Sheriff Stilinski:

Sheriff Stilinski, softer: Derek, we’ve talked about this.