Firefighter/Police AUs

Living Weapon Whumpee that doesn't know what to do when Caretaker rescues them.

They only know fighting, and violence, and even sometimes order people around when their handler allows them, what are they supposed to do if Caretaker doesn't need them?

Caretaker is a good person, and they have a lot of security like guards 24/7 and cameras monitoring their house, why would they need Whumpee?

They say they want to help, to make Whumpee get better; but how is Whumpee supposed to be better when they can be useful?

Caretaker doesn't need them. They are safe, and that's a good thing. Then why do they feel so impotent?

If only Caretaker needed them. Or if they lacked guards, then at least Whumpee could be of some use. But no.

They are useless, and when Caretaker sees that, they are going to get rid of Whumpee.

Day IV

Reinkarnation - Wrath

"Now, normally when you mortals die, the process is a lot simpler. You did good, you reincarnate or go to heaven, you did bad, you go to hell. You're a special case. All those times you reincarnated, you did good things. It was almost like a videogame run. Doin' good on all these save files, then going on a slaughter fest on this last one. I guess the Boss didn't want to risk you wiping out half of another planet, so he's got you coming here." She looked at her clipboard for a bit, glancing at you a few times.

"Do do-do do-doo~ Alright. Rare, but not unseen. This says you were good enough to pick your punishment, so I'll walk you through your options.

"First one, Lust. Most pick this option, then regret it until their mind breaks. It's always funny to watch. You pick this, you get with Evelyn. She's not like the succubi you're used to. She's a hellside succubus. Simply put, she can't be accidentally summoned. She's of a caliber that puts horny teenagers to shame. The succubi you know? Well satiated to bloating with the right one. Evelyn and her caliber? A drop in the bucket. Alas, you'll have eternity with her, so after the first few meals, she'll go easy on you.

"Second, Envy. This one is for the tech fanatics. Aside from the mandatory adjustments to keep you alive while Rebecca erases your biology and replaces it with technology, we'll be adding nothing. She'll be doing that. She hates to be behind in having anything, so with her, you'll be pampered. You'll also be frequently edited. But don't worry, she isn't one to leave you with all the scars. She's too envious of those who have something she doesn't, she even got herself a cock she doesn't use.

"Third is Sloth. Contrary to popular belief, Natalie has boundless energy. If you pick her, we'll give you the basic regeneration package. As you sleep, you regenerate. It's useful because sleeping is a lot of what you'll be doing, when her fucking you hasn't knocked you out yet.

"Fourth is Greed. Not too unlike Rebecca, the Yuan-Ti will give you all you could desire from their wealth. They are a community of mostly nagas who share wealth like it's air. Now usually they'd share outside their ring, but you, because of your circumstances, will be stuck in greed. Have fun getting everything you could ever want. You'll start with Nymona, pleasant, adoring, impulsive, and filthy rich, like everyone else there.

"Your fifth option is Valentine of Gluttony. She feeds, for lack of a better term, on positivity. That feeling just before post-nut clarity, the sharing of a first kiss, the smell of cinnamon rolls. If she can get just a little bit more outta you, she'll do just about anything. She won't stop, though. She'll keep feeding. You'll probably end up in and out of consciousness as she feeds and generates, and she'll apologize genuinely, but that won't stop the hangovers or the discomfort. The best your deal allows is no chafing or refractory.

"Sixth is Wrath. The Hellknights are a very tight knit community with an extreme hierarchy. Those you rank above own you and everything you own. Cassidy is pretty low on that totem, so while she owns quite a few Hellknights, almost everyone else owns her. Of course, the cannon fodder and foot soldiers are a bit of a  different story, what with that hierarchy putting them all at the same level and thus all owned by the 'Knights. A reminder and clarification, all who own Cassidy also own you. An impulse, loyal, strong-willed demon, she will protect you the best she can, but she can be abusive. She's also an addict, so be aware of that.

"Last is Princess Millicent. The fuckin' Royal Bitch herself. From what I've been told, she has a heart, and if you're around her enough, you can start to see it, but she is a god-damned royal fuckin' pain to deal with. If you can keep her happy with you, the Boss'll let you roam free. For all intents and purposes, you pick this bitch, you're above everybody except her thousands of older siblings and the Boss himself. Pretty sweet deal if you can get over her bitchiness.

"So, which are you picking?"

A restaurant named You're Not Supposed To Be Here, where the whole point is that the vibes are unnerving. The lighting is weird, the whole place has a faint scent that's not a bad smell, but it's certainly not food smell and you can't quite identify what the hell it is. The music is weirdly janky and you can't quite tell what's wrong with it, the vocals aren't exactly garbled but sung in a language you swear you've never heard anywhere and couldn't name if you tried. Only hiring staff who have anxiety and they're 100% permitted to show how much your presence here stresses them out.

"immortality sucks because all your friends die" all your friends die anyway. those we do not mourn are those who mourn us.

"immortality sucks because you forget who you are" we always forget who we are. do you remember who you were at four years of age? who you were at fourteen? "who i am" is a shadow cast on the wall.

"immortality sucks because" skill issue. skill issue. skill issue. give me your liver

𝐀𝐜𝐮𝐚𝐭𝐞

sharpened, sharp-pointed

Ghost Harem x Exorcist!Reader

I don't know, I just found the idea of an exorcist who keeps attracting the ghosts they're trying to purify very funny. content: gender neutral reader, mildly NSFW

You would argue you're rather good at your job.

Whenever you receive a call from a victim in need, you show up. Additionally, you never leave empty-handed. You're known to always complete your job. If a house is possessed, whatever ghost or devil is tormenting the poor inhabitants will be swiftly removed.

Normally, these spirits and demons would be purged; sent back to their hells, or off into some unknown afterlife. That, of course, was your initial aim.

Except these damned ghouls end up following you instead. Sometimes you don’t even get to perform the proper rituals: it’s enough to step foot into the cursed place, and they will pounce without delay, attaching themselves to you like starved dogs.

You’ve tried everything. The latest priestess you visited erupted in laughter upon hearing your misfortune and suggested the unholy creatures must be in love with you.

Love? A ghost? Nonsense. Most likely they are waiting for a moment of weakness, so they can devour your soul. That's what you tell yourself, pale with repugnance, gawking at the devilish curse standing before you and touching themselves. Their translucent visage is relaxed into a perverted grin.

Suddenly, a foreign weight presses itself into your shoulder. From behind you, a slender creature throws itself at the offender.

"Away! Keep away from my beloved," they bark, waving their long sleeves in disbelief. Its face is covered by a sealing talisman.

"Let the human sleep," another voice croaks from the shadows. "(Y/N) has a long day tomorrow."

You shriek as something slithers out of your shirt. A serpent-like monster speeds across your sheets with a chuckle.

"I just hope it's not another suitor. It's getting kind of cramped here, you know?"

The priestess' laughter rings against your ears, and you sigh, defeated. Maybe you can put them to work, at the very least.

Oh, they'd be more than happy to service you. In any way possible.

[Navigation] | [Ozztober Masterlist]

We have yandere school,, but what about yan! Restaurant? 👀

You've only ever visited this particular restaurant once, but the food was just so good that you can't help but come back from time to time! And, oh.. The workers and manager there can't help but favor you a lot more than the rest ♡

I'm not sure if you meant it in the sense that the restaurant is a regular, normal business, and the staff became obsessed with you, or if the restaurant is quite literally advertised as a yandere service. I went for the latter, for the memes. Content: gender neutral reader, parody?, horde of (adult) yanderes

Yandere!Restaurant provides you with an extensive list of employees to choose from. From grey-haired and soft-spoken, to brash and youthful; the restaurant guarantees you will find your matching server within their impressive catalog.

Alright, where is the menu? Most customers are indeed taken aback when presented with a leather-bound book of blank pages. The gesture is quickly followed by a second, much thinner folder: a questionnaire, and an agreement to be stalked.

You see, Yandere!Restaurant has a particular modus operandi - you provide them with the basics: your full name and date of birth. Everything else will be uncovered by the yandere themselves. Once they have found you, the true serving process begins.

The first part is always the longest, hence their recommendation to book months in advance if you're a new customer. It's the research phase. Your chosen server will follow you around and gather all the needed information.

"No, thank you, it's too sweet for me", you tell a friend offering you some of their snack. From within the shadows, a cloaked figure scribbles down furiously.

The second and final phase is your usual dining experience. You are seated at the table and presented with your dishes. They have been carefully curated to match your taste in that very moment. Maybe you'd recently hoped you could eat your childhood favorite again. Maybe you'd seen a social media post about a trending dessert, and wished to try it out yourself. No matter the reason, know that it has been skillfully uncovered by your loyal server.

"This is..."

You gasp quietly and cover your mouth with a napkin. The taste is exquisite, filling you with a wave of nostalgia. How did they know? This is exactly what you wanted.

Why, of course. It was made with utmost love and attention. Won't you visit them again, (Y/N)?

[More Yandere Scenarios]

how do you write a liar?

How to Write Liars Believably

Language

The motive of every goal is the make the lie seem plausible while taking blame off the speaker, so liars will often project what they say to a third party: "Katie said that..."

Referring to third parties as "they" rather than he or she

In the case of a deliberate lie prepped beforehand, there will be an overuse of specific names (rather than pronouns) as the speaker tries to get the details right.

Overuse of non-committal words like "something may have happened"

Masking or obscuring facts like "to the best of my knowledge" and “it is extremely unlikely," etc.

Avoiding answers to specific, pressing questions

Voice

There's isn't a set tone/speed/style of speaking, but your character's speech patten will differ from his normal one.

People tend to speak faster when they're nervous and are not used to lying.

Body Language

Covering their mouth

Constantly touching their nose

fidgeting, squirming or breaking eye contact

turning away, blinking faster, or clutching a comfort object like a cushion as they speak

nostril flaring, rapid shallow breathing or slow deep breaths, lip biting, contracting, sitting on your hands, or drumming your fingers. 

Highly-trained liars have mastered the art of compensation by freezing their bodies and looking at you straight in the eye.

Trained liars can also be experts in the art of looking relaxed. They sit back, put their feet up on the table and hands behind their head.

For deliberate lies, the character may even carefully control his body language, as though his is actually putting on a show

The Four Types of Liars

Deceitful: those who lie to others about facts

2. Delusional: those who lie to themselves about facts

3. Duplicitious: those who lie to others about their values

Lying about values can be even more corrosive to relationships than lying about facts. 

4. Demoralized: those who lie to themselves about their values

Additional Notes

Genuine smiles or laughs are hard to fake

Exaggerations of words (that would normally not be emphasized) or exaggerated body language

Many savvy detectives ask suspects to tell the story in reverse or non-linear fashion to expose a lie. They often ask unexpected, or seemingly irrelevant questions to throw suspects off track. 

Bouquet

Flowers are pretty, they are delicate things with beautiful and unique colors, smells, and shapes. But flowers also had hidden meanings in them, and Hailee prepared her big book of flower meanings to prepare the perfect bouquet.

Azaleas. They came in bright, lively pinks. Its meaning was a nice one, “Take care of yourself.” 

Arborvitae. They meant everlasting friendship, true friendship. The flowers were a pretty shade of white.

Alyssums. Another white flower. They’re meaning was “worth beyond beauty.” People had used them to repel negative emotions. 

Hawthorns meant hope. They’re flowers were white with gray speckles,  the fruits themselves were red.

Heliotropiums sends a message, “you are loved.” The flowers were mesmerizing shades of purple, and had many, many petals.

Adonis symbolizes loving memory. They were bright red, and had a ring of white around them in the middle.

The Almond Tree meant hope and awakening, while the flowers itself only meant hope, like the Hawthorns.

Anemones, a mix of purple and white. They meant persistence, perseverance. Things that could withstand. (Hailee guessed they were strong flowers)

Asters were pink, and their petals were thin and long. They had a lot of meanings. Loyalty, fidelity, wisdom, good thoughts, power, light

Begonias were yellow. Shyness, innocence, loyalty in love.

Clematis were spiritual beauty and creativity.

Iris were purple with yellow middles, they meant faith, wisdom, value, and friendship.

Jasmine’s went from light yellow to white. They meant love, delicate beauty, and grace.

Hailee decided to keep a lot of the purple flowers, like Iris, Anemones, and Heliotropiums. She added a single branch of Azalea, and decided to add four Arbovitae flowers.