Metaruu’s Headcanon Ask Game

Coincidentally, I had Jacob wrestling as my Torah portion at my Bat Mitzvah and my parents had one on leprosy protocols and what to do with mold-infested houses at their wedding. The rabbi said that he generally dreaded having to talk about mold and leprosy at weddings but that it was oddly fitting in the case of my (future) parents: a doctor and a mycologist.

there is not nearly enough media about the bar/bat mitzvah process. anyone remember watching a kid do their fun drash about jacob wrestling the angel and thinking How the fuck. am i going to write a speech about leprosy protocols

It was supposed to be Mordred as he’s described in my writing. A friend and I couldn’t find any art which matched our headcanon of his appearance, so I decided to try to draw him myself, but my attempts to make him stop looking like me just made him look like an elven version of my mother. There are several characters who this sort of looks like it could be depicting, especially if you ignore the pointy ear (not quite sure where it came from), but I don’t think it quite fits anyone in particular.

Ah, well. At least it’s clear to everyone that it’s not Lancelot. I think Mordred would hate people mistaking him for Lancelot and kill anyone who did or vastly abuse (and maybe destroy) his borrowed reputation.

They could have snuck parts of Jaufre into Monty Python and the Holy Grail and no one would have noticed a stylistic difference.

--A wicked knight describing to Jaufre (Griflet) what a knight who touches his lance can do to obtain his mercy as an alternative to being killed after a fight

I have a few conflicting sets of headcanons—if character X is ______, then character Y is ______, based on their interactions—so I stuck with people who I only have one headcanon for who immediately came to mind. Most of the characters seem ace, probably because these are meant as children’s books, so these are for romantic orientation.

Aro Alice Angel, Inez Branko**, Claerwen

Bi Asa Pike, Olivia Vertigo, Ezekiel Bloor, Grizelda Bone*, Idith Branko**

Gay Manfred Bloor

Straight Emma Tolly

*Maybe one day I’ll write a fic set when Alice Angel is living at Charlie’s house where Alice thinks that Grizelda is calm and remote because Alice is doing her Jedi mind trick thing, Grizelda thinks that she feels dizzy and confused because she has a crush on Alice, and the answer is probably both.

**This is going off my deep desire to differentiate Idith and Inez rather than anything in the plot. They are not the same person. That’s not how identical twins work, unless one of them is the other’s magically created doppelgänger illusion or something, which isn’t impossible but seems unlikely, since they argue.

so what are your guy's sexuality headcanons

Veronica Whall’s stained glass depiction of Galahad ascending, with Bors, the Grail Maiden, and eight angels, from King Arthur’s Great Halls at Tintagel

Dagbert Endless’ mother should look like this.

Mermaid’s Face by David Delamare (American artist, 1951-2016)

lament for sir kay by me. thinking about him always. i can't imagine having my younger brother become king and. like. just. what the fuck. i love him. no one understands him like i do.

I don’t put my own propaganda on the poll blog, but this is technically a separate blog, so I think I’m allowed to show some bias here. 

I think it would be excellent if the neglected siblings won. Some of them are awesome and powerful, like Ganieda, Merlin‘s clever seeress sister. Others never get a break, like Lucan, who worked hard to keep things running in the castle while he lived and died in the most selfless and/or ridiculous way. Some of them are just sort of there in the corner, hoping for a scrap of attention. I know nothing about Daniel, but he might be interesting if I got to know him. 

Then there’s this:

Arthur has a biological (half?) brother who is known for his battle skills and excellent sense of humor, swears some sort of cryptic oath before dying, and is not featured in any adaptation I’ve heard of. Why isn’t he in adaptations? Because almost no one has heard of him.

In conclusion, these characters are fascinating, and I think it would be great if they got a moment in the spotlight and some symbolic comeuppance on their attention-hog siblings. If they do, then it’s been several centuries in coming.

Alleged A-Listers: Arthur, Bedivere, Galahad, Gawain, Guinevere, Kay, Lancelot, Merlin, Morgan le Fay, Percival, Tristan

Neglected Siblings: Aglovale, Agravaine, Clarissant, Daniel son of Brunor, Dornar, Elaine of Cornwall, Ganieda, Gaheris, Hector de Maris, Kay, Lucan, Madog son of Uther, Safir

Gems and their associated supernatural properties

(From Magic and the Supernatural in Medieval English Romance by Corinne J. Saunder)

(Link to a previous post here) So, to list some of it down:

Amethyst - prevents drunkeness

Emerald - inceases intelligence, gives prophetic powers, refreshes eyes and also act as mirrors

Amber - used in medicine

Jet - drives away snakes, detects possessed people and virginity

Asbestos - gives poison resistance

Memphitis - anasthetic

Selenite - affected by the phases of the Moon

Diamond - protects against poison, witchcraft and fear

Astrion - prevents wounds in battle

Onyx - induces sorrow and debate,

Topaz - allows water flow

Chalcedony - prevents hallucination

Opal - grants Invisibility

#SOMEONE PLEASE DROP THE SOURCE FOR THE HECTOR ONE THAT SOUNDS AWESOME

@sanddef

It's from Cantare di Astore e Morgana (the Cantare of Hector and Morgan).

Here’s a link to a translation originally posted by lazerbem on Reddit, courtesy of Redpanda from the Arthurian Theater Discord server:

Google Docs

Cantare of Hector and Morgan

A few things which are “canon” somewhere for people who are worried they’re stretching it too far

Arthur was killed by a giant cat. 

Arthur killed the cat.

Arthur didn’t fight the cat. Kay did.

Kay and Bedivere use salmon as taxis. 

Lucan is half giant, half lion. (This Lucan, Lucano in the original Italian, is evil and not related to Bedivere). 

King Arthur raided the land of the dead.

The human knight Caradoc Briefbras has three half siblings: a dog, a horse, and a pig.

A large portion of Arthur’s troops was killed a while before Camlann by his nephew’s attack ravens in self-defense. Arthur and said nephew were playing chess at the time and neither did much to stop it.

Merlin retired peacefully and went to live in the countryside with Taliesin.

Wherever Arthur walks, plants die. They don’t grow back for years.

Arthur had a spunky (half?) brother who died in battle after making a mysterious oath.

Dagonet is more or less able to run the kingdom when Arthur is gone. His biggest error is overspending on mercenaries.

Guinevere has an evil almost identical twin half-sister.

Hector beat up all the best knights except for Galahad while possessed by a demon.

Gawain plays tennis.

Gawain has used a chessboard as a weapon.

Near the start of his reign, Arthur left Lot in charge of the kingdom and went on a quest with a sassy parrot.

Gawain or Galahad succeeded Arthur as king.