I Was Bored And Had Writer’s Block So I Made This Instead. Enjoy ^o^

In Real Life • teaser

-> Being transported into a fanfic is not exactly Jimin's ideal type of weekend, especially not right after you rejected his attempt to ask you out. Now the two of you will have to help the author write a happy ending if you ever wanna make it back to real life. Can he write a happy ending with you too?

Main pairing: gamer boy!jimin x fem!creative writing major!reader

Genre/au: trapped in a fanfic!au, enemies to friends to lovers, low-key love triangle, sports!au (archery), college!au, a good amount of fluff, a poor attempt at humor, some angst, inspired by Teen Beach Movie and Extraordinary You

Warnings: breaking the fourth wall sorta / pov changes, embarrassing moments, kissing, Jimin being a sweetheart bc I can't write him any other way. warnings to be added as I finish the fic.

Teaser wc: 851

Total wc: 15K+ (there is no release date at this time)

Disclaimer: this is not meant to represent all fanfiction and I'm not implying that all fanfic writers or readers only engage in fanfiction to escape reality. it's just for the sake of the story.

💿 the author - Luz :: more of you - JP Saxe :: main character - Zach Hood

a/n: I've wanted to do something like this for a while so I hope it works ☺️ just a heads up that the "author" is a character in the story. I hope it's not confusing lol. Feedback is appreciated!

If you'd like to be on the taglist, leave a comment, reblog, or dm. You're already tagged if you're on my perm taglist <3

"Yep." With a sigh and a nod, you face Jimin and speak directly to him, arms crossed and hip popped out in disappointment. "The author led us to the right girl. She's the reader insert, alright." 

Your Name occupies herself, amazed by her own hands and interlocking her fingers with a wishful sigh. She's been written to fall in love with the man of her dreams, to discover angsty heartbreak and become the apple of her lover's eye. When she's not doing anything directly related to that purpose, she's just an empty shell of a character, a copycat filling space and time until her next scene. 

"She's dumb as a sack of rocks." 

"No one is reading the story right now, remember? The author is still writing it. Your Name is an empty character," you explain, scanning her perfect figure up and down with a jealous click of your tongue.

"So, if someone reads the story…" 

"Then part of that person's character is reflected in Your Name. It's what makes fanfiction fun to read. You get to put yourself in the story." 

Okay, maybe Jimin sees the attractiveness in that. It's an escape just like video games, except more lame and pitiful. 

Your Name has yet to do or say anything else. She just sways with her hands folded against her chest, mind empty, no thoughts, unable to leave or initiate anything without the author's guidance or some other trigger. 

"Why would anyone want to be her?" 

The doors to the cafeteria burst open, immediately stealing everyone's attention. The whole building pauses in place, heads turning in slow-mo to see what the big commotion is about, choirs of gasps and the sound of panties dropping to the ground left and right. 

In walks sex on legs, dark hair fluffy with a gloved hand brushing through thick bangs, skin tight jeans and a leather bracer around his wrist. He pretends to pull an arrow from the empty quiver on his hip, shooting it and a charming wink in the direction of a cafeteria worker, chuckling when they faint against the wall with a hand over their heart. 

There's only one person who could have that kind of effect simply by walking into the room. 

"That's why," you reply, hypnotized eyes following his every move through the line to get lunch. "The main male lead." 

"So, it's all about the guy, huh?" 

"Obviously. It is a Jungkook fanfic, so yeah."

Jimin gawks. "Wait, that's supposed to be Jeon Jungkook? You mean the singer slash actor in real life?" 

"Yep," you sigh in content. Even if this is a fanfic, you're in the same room as the Jungkook and you'll never forget this day. 

"That dude doesn't know archery," Jimin pouts. 

"It's a fanfic, so he does in this story, okay? Shut up." 

Jimin just rolls his eyes, too proud to admit the way you're staring at that fanfic character makes his blood boil something awful. But you're not the only one entranced. 

Your Name hasn't been able to blink since Jungkook walked in, hands folded shyly at her chest and lips slightly parted. She holds her breath as he struts in her direction, whipping his hair out of his eyes only for it to gracefully fall over his forehead again. 

Jungkook passes by with his lunch, but he doesn't even give Your Name a glance, not even the barest of recognitions. She opens her mouth as if she wants to say something, but no sound comes out. Just a defeated sigh when Jungkook sits down at a table with a bunch of other students and not her. 

She pulls her bag further up her shoulder, putting her head down and walking out of the cafeteria as unnoticeably as possible. Jimin watches her, a surprising sense of sympathy for her despite reminding himself she's a fictional character. 

You lift a finger to your temple, leaning into Jimin's side as you both watch the scene play out. "I understand." 

"What? What just happened?" 

"We have to get Jungkook together with Your Name. She's the shy, unnoticed school girl and he's the popular, sporty hunk with a heart of gold." 

"Oh come on, that's the worst trope ever." He rolls his eyes in Jungkook's direction. "Heart of gold my ass. He just walked right passed Your Name and didn't even flinch." 

"Like you would know anything about fanfic tropes." 

"Video games have tropes too, you know." 

You roll your lips tight when he sticks his tongue out at you, trying not to smile at how cute he was just now. 

"Like what?" 

Jimin begins counting on his fingers. "I could name five off the top of my head." 

"Are any of them the shy school girl and popular sports star?"

"No." 

"Then you can reference video games again when they can actually help us," you say, looking back at Jungkook's table. "For how, we need to figure out a way to get those two together so we can end the fic and get out of here. Any ideas?" 

::

Full fic to be posted!

Perm taglist (let me know if you're not interested in being tagged when the full fic drops):

@staerryminimini @unicornbabylover @kookieswan @sugarflywme @dvalitaes @kookiecrumb @jeonsjiddies @myooniverse @miscelunaaa @jinsquishes @azreeeeee @armys-dna @thesugatoyourtae @jmforevs @kimprosperi @jjkeverlast @joontied @pamzn @ssaboala @hobipost @jimilter @sleepilysworld @rjsmochii @familiarlikemymirror3 @gimmethatagustd @alluringfairies @minijagiya @roseyykris @jwnghyuns @kaitaesupremacy @squawkadoodledoo @jimin2014 @jminthinker @femmesstuff @valhallawhispers @bora-kat @bloodline1632 @lookhere-2seok @hoseokteardrop @minniesvenus @seokjinkismet @chimchimmarie @mywhispered-thoughts @pasttelrose @screamertannie @soeur-de-ame @dunixxd

reported you to the copyright section on weverse for your concert stream, they’ll be in touch. i have bills to pay rent to pay food to buy but i do this thing called budgeting to ensure i can pay for bts content legally. and very simply yea if you don’t pay you don’t deserve it. you can’t walk into a shop and think oh i like this dress so i’m going to take it without paying that’s called theft and is illegal. this is the same thing. if you don’t pay you don’t get. why should i spend $80 for 2 concerts and you get them free, no that’s unfair. any real army will pay and if you don’t you don’t deserve the boys, their content or their hard work.

you're so fucking ugly (and i mean this as a person, on the inside. rotten like a fucking apple that's fallen off the tree). like. lmaaaaaaaaaaao i can't even. it's as if you don't have a brain. which is crazy, because you say you have rent to pay and food to buy but i'm pretty sure things without brains don't have responsibilities? y'know? *insert oprah's what is the truth? gif*

anyway. honestly, i don't have to reply to this. i know i probably shouldn't, because this is such a stupid ask it doesn't deserve an answer. but i've got time, babes, so here we go!

firstly, you're a shit army, because what's something that bts has always advocated for? acceptance, community, love. you're going to sit there on your high horse and bitch and complain like "weh weh weh it's not fair that i've got a stick shoved too far up my ass to consider other people's circumstances and have compassion!" get a life, pal. grow a heart. maybe it'll help take the strain off the nonexistent brain you've got.

secondly, you know that yoongi, during a vlive (i think?), searched for a stream for a soccer game, right? as in, an illegal stream? the man who you claim to support so much LITERALLY did what you're shitting on other people for? so do you think he doesn't have a right to watch that, either? that he's an illegal scumbag who doesn't really support korea? or does your asinine viewpoint only apply to fellow army?

lastly, jimin straight up answered an army on weverse telling them the following:

if jimin - and presumably the rest of the boys - don't hold it against their fans for watching content using an alternative method, why the fuck do you care? are you secretly bang pd? do you have some like, idk, dividends we need to know about? it's absolutely insane that you're licking the boots of a fucking entertainment company and coming here, into my inbox, to tear down the people who only want to enjoy content.

as much as we love bts, things are expensive. sorry that people have found a way to stream stuff without having to miss their rent. sorry they've maybe bought merchandise but just didn't have it in their expendable income to also buy tickets to muster. but actually, i'm not sorry at all and neither should any other army be.

anyway, you are an inexplicably sad person. i genuinely hope that you, at some point, can figure out wtf happened to make you this way and move on from it. because god knows you need it. toodles!

ps. reported me to weverse? using what? "hey, big hit. this fanfic author on tumblr streamed to people. can you do something about it?" you sound wack as hell.

July BTS Fic Recommendations

note from sunie:

For my first few lists I will be posting, it wont really be just for the current month but a few are also some of my favorites from a few years back that I really want to share!

I also want to say thank you, to all the authors who have put in hard work to create these pieces of literature for us to enjoy!

I hope everyone enjoys them as much as I did! You can also send in recommendations in my asks which will always be open! I will try my hardest to keep up!

🌸- fluff 🥀-angst 🌹-mature/suggestive

📖-drabbles/oneshots

📚- series 📝- ongoing ✔️-completed

Yoongi

📖>Kale’in Me Softly (@jimlingss)

Farmer!Yoongi, strangers to lovers 🌸, 🥀(has a little sting), 🌹(mature scene) Word count: 17.1k Summary: After your grandfather's passing, you decide to take over his farm and plant the trendiest vegetable: kale. It's a struggle to be in the countryside when you've always been a city girl. But there's someone less than sympathetic — a grumpy farmer across the acres who's constantly trying to pick a fight with you. Warning/s: Strongly implied smut

—I love their style of writing! I think this fic was v cute and the heat in that one scene was a great sprinkle🤭 Its a great read and I highly recommend!

📖>Bloom (@guksthighs)

hanahaki au, best friends to lovers 🥀,🌸 Word count: 1.7k Summary: When you fall in love with your best friend, flowers begin to bloom. Hanahaki disease - an illness born from one-sided love, where the patient throws up and coughs of flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. The infection can be removed through surgery, but the feelings disappear along with the petals. Warning/s: its kind of a tear-jerker but not to worry, its ONLY a tear-jerker there will be knowing flowing of tears (hopefully) &lt;3

—This is actually a read from a few years back that I still come back to once in awhile. I have kept in my notes to remember! I absolutely love guksthigh's works and I think they're beautifully written!

📖>VALUABLES (@drowsymochi)

Established relationship 🌸 Word Count: 306 Summary: “they don’t mean anything to me.” Warning/s: teeth-rotting fluff, Yoongi is so sweet I might consider it an angst from how he makes me cry bc he.

—super cute quick read omg, I abs loved it, makes me want to have an s/o..

Namjoon:

📖>Who are you? (@ausblack)

Hybrid!Namjoon x Hybrid!reader 🌸, 🥀 Word count: 3.4k Summary: A mysterious hybrid that reeks of suppressants catches Namjoon, the wolf hybrid. He's determined to find out what you are. Warning/s: mentions of drinking and smoking, insecurities

—I love this so much! Made me feel a bit fuzzy from how cute this is. Ausblack has been one of my favorite readers when I first got into tumblr a few years back! I recommend their works!

📖>Cut (@chimchimsauce)

Soulmate au, College au 🌸, 🥀 Word count: 1.1k Summary: Namjoon always hated soulmates Warning/s: implied sex and of drinking/smoking (?)

—I love soulmate aus and I absolutely love quick angst reads! Its so good and I come back to it from time to time! I recommend it to all esp if you love quick reads!

Jimin:

📖>Adonis (@xjoonchildx)

Paramedic!Jimin x reader 🌸, a little comedy Word count: 3.4k Summary: your crackpot of a neighbor will not rest until you throw yourself at the gorgeous paramedic in town. she’s nuts, y'all. Warning/s: smoking, sexual innuendo, implied smut

—Very cute and funny fic to read, it was written nicely! I recommend to those who would enjoy a little comedy when they read.

Taehyung:

📚✔️>Camellia (@kinktae)

Prince!Taehyung x Herbalist!reader 🌸, 🥀(if you squint), 🌹(mature) 2/2 Summary: Prince Taehyung comes to find out that the castle has got a new tea girl, and man is she cute. Warning/s: insecurities, smut in 2nd chapter

—I read this a few years back and I still come back to it once in awhile because its well written and I just love the story. This actually got me to love royalty / prince/princess aus and its so cute it hurts.. Super great read! I very much recommend 🥰

📖>Playful (@chimyoung)

Owner!Taehyung x Hybrid!reader 🌸, 🥀 Word count: 3.6k Summary: A mischievous and energetic fox hybird causes an accident in the living room that sets off her boyfriend. Warning/s: lil bit of angst, swearing, couples arguing, Taehyung is a meanie, mentions of blood/injuries, nothing too graphic, there’s a mean guy in a park, that’s about it.

—Ahh its a cute readdd. It has some angst that stings but the fluff balances it out in the end. I've also read a few other of their works that I think that's worth checking out!

Jungkook:

📖>in which you always come home to Jungkook. (@onlyswan)

Established relationship 🌸, lowkey 🥀, 🌹(suggestive) Word count: 3.7k Warning/s: mention of the word whore, boner, showering together

—Its a perfect mix of everything! I've always loved her works and this never disappoints. Its a sweet read if you just want something chill (in my opinion). Highly recommend their work 🥰

📖>Still With Me? (@magicalmarauder)

Boxer!Jungkook, established relationship 🌸, 🥀 (it stings a bit..) Word count: 4k+ Summary: Dating the world’s fastest growing boxer meant several things – kissing his wounds at the end of every fight, watching countless boxing matches to study new techniques with him, and worrying like crazy as different men every night tried to bash his face in. But what happens when tensions run high after a match and Jungkook throws your support back in your face? Warning/s: definitely violence bc boxing, mentions of bruises/wounds, koo was an ass for like 5 seconds

—I am a sucker for anything boxer Jungkook so 😝😝 It stings in a few parts of the story but there is some fluff that act as a band aid do not panic 🙅‍♀️ Nicely written, I love it so much I've actually read it a few time hehe ❤️❤️

📚📝>Quarters (@justoneday-namjoonii)

Boxer!Jungkook x IceSkater!reader 🌸, 🥀 9/? Summary: A look into the dysfunctional relationship of Jungkook, an aspiring boxer, and an aspiring Ice Skater. Warning/s: mentions of abuse, dysfunctional relationship, angst might be triggering to some

—Another boxer!jungkook because I am abs inlove with boxer koo. This is a nice read if you're in angst w just a sprinkle of fluff or like fics w a rollercoaster of emotions!

📖>The Habits of a Broken Heart. (@softykooky)

Soulmate au, subtle enemies to lovers, slow burn, art student!Jungkook x english student!reader 🌸, 🥀 Word count: 26.3k Summary: Jungkook and you are soulmates. so says the matching crescent moons on both your wrists. however, things are never as easy as they seem, and you are quick to learn that falling in love with someone who does not believe in love is a one-way ticket to heartbreak.

alternatively,

“You still are, you know. Worth it.” You release a shaky breath. “But I was stupid to think that I am too.” Warning/s: jealousy, unrequited love, shouting (?(please bear with me i dont really knw what to put in warnings yet 💀))

—I think I've read this about 5 times already ahhh.. Its so goooooddd, the angst really hits you.. it made me cry every time but the ending makes up for it. I love how well written this is, its a lovely fic to read 💗💗💗

📖>How Long Will We Fall (@jiminrings)

Soulmate au, painful f2l, unrequited love (at first) 🌸, 🥀 Word count: 14k Summary: If it’s fate, it should already be set onto your skin — that’s why Jungkook’s initials are already on your finger. he’s always there for you, but not only for you. if you’re his fate, he’d rather not have it. alternatively,

Jungkook’s your soulmate, but he doesn’t want to be.

—Another angst soulmate au bc I love hurting myself hehe, I love how this was written, I love the character development, I love the angst, I love this..

Poly/OT7

📚✔️>Hybrid House (@hollyhomburg)

Hybrid!BTS x Hybrid!reader 🌸, 🥀, 🌹 (mature) 3/3 + Epilogue Summary: to Seokjin, Home consists of his human partners Namjoon and Hoseok as well as their Hybrids; the pups- named Taehyung and Jimin, their black cat- called Yoongi, and their foxboy- called Jungkook. Together they have the happiest family possible, everyone loves everyone equally. 

So what happens when Namjoon finds you? a cat hybrid, beaten close to death left alone in an alleyway on the coldest night of the year? He takes you home, shows you his family, and together they teach you what love can be like. Warning/s: mentions of blood/injuries, abuse, heavy smut scenes, Jungkook being mean for a bit

—I have been a fan of their work for a long time already and I think this is among one of my favorite works of theirs. Its's very well written and I recommend this to those who have hybrid aus up their allies. Great author, great work ❤️

📖>Sugary Sweet (@hollyhomburg)

Hybrid! Reader x Hybrid! Taehyung x Hybrid! Yoongi x Owner! Namjoon 🌸, 🥀 Word Count: 10k Summary: Namjoon has a perfect life once he moves out of the city to a cabin alongside his two rescue hybrids, Yoongi and Taehyung. But then one night in the middle of the rainstorm they find you, a bunny hybrid, hiding in their chicken coop.   Warning/s: Anxiety attacks, Anxious! Namjoon, mentions of hybrid abandonment, hybrid mistreatment, Half of this is Domestic fluff, possessive behavior. 

—Another great hybrid read from hollyhomburg!! Very cute and has some angst to spice it up, it pulls on the heartstrings just right❤️❤️ I actually have read this a few times, I'm one to come back to something if I really enjoy it. So again, amazing work, this is actually my favorite from them ❤️

📚📝>Cry Me A River (@minniepetals)

Mafia!au, arrange marriage!au 🌸, 🥀 13/? Summary: Forever is just an illusion, nothing lasts forever. Don't make me a promise that you cannot keep. Please... it'll break my heart. Warning/s: (triggering topics! please read at your own discretion) childhood trauma, mental abuse, physical abuse, child neglect, manipulation, gaslighting, violence, mentions of assault, implied sexual assault, hurt and comfort, divorce, emotional neglect, minor character deaths, kidnapping, some emotionally unstable scenes.

—AN ALL TIME FAVORITE OF MINE. First, I abs love mafia aus and I love angst. CMAR was written beautifully,,, perfectly. It has me crying and screaming all over the place. You can feel the emotions as you read this series, that why I love it so much. It's so angsty I love it. Minnie does a great job in writing this that I always earn for more every other chapter, IM COMPLETELY HOOKED. The attention to detail is just amazing and she also listens to the readers, I love her sm.. Great read, I absolutely recommend cmar.

—If anyone has noticed, there are no Jin and Hobi fics on my recs as of the moment, its because I have yet to find jin and hobi fics that suit taste! Please do recommend some fics and authors in my asks if you have any recommendations! I will be reading them when I have time!

I will try to post recs weekly if I am not busy. Maybe I'll just post when I can and then have my monthly recs!

Gone | t.h.

Summary: tom is back from shooting cherry, but he’s not okay.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3 Teaser | Part 3

Part 4 Teaser | Part 4 

this moodboard was made by the amazing b @worldoftom i’m in love with this so it has to go on the series post 💕

so beautiful 🥹

IV. Something Has to Change

(banner by @/itaeewon)

Title: My Feet to Follow, and My Heart to Hold (Masterpost)

Rating: NSFW - minors dni

Genre: college!au, roomie!au, angst, s2l, the absolute slowest of burns

Pairing: Namjoon x female reader, unrequited Taehyung x reader

Beta'd by @/kookstempo, @/casuallyimagining, and @/toikiii - thank you endlessly!

Summary: You know a lot about the many types of love thanks to Kim Taehyung. You love him as the only person you see as “family”, you love him as your very best friend, and you love him as the beautiful, funny man he’s become. But when a twist of fate during your senior year has you rooming with his good friend Kim Namjoon, you just might find that you have plenty left to learn about love. 

Lesson One: there are such things as a right way and a wrong way to love and to be loved.

//

Your friendship with Taehyung starts to show its cracks.

Section Warnings: language

WC: 7.5k

The world is mine: blue hill, still silver lake, Broad field, bright flower, and the long white road A gateless garden, and an open path: My feet to follow, and my heart to hold. - Journey | Edna St. Vincent Millay

Saturday October 20th

You text Taehyung before going to sleep just to confirm he didn’t die in a ditch, but it’s radio silence from him until almost three o’clock the next afternoon. When he does finally answer you - “alive but at what cost?” - you roll your eyes and turn your phone over, screen down. You’re sitting in the living room, two author anthologies open on the coffee table, bookends to your open notebook. 

Apparently he’s displeased with your silence, because your phone buzzes again a few minutes later - the longer buzz, indicating a call of some kind. With a huff of aggravation, you flip it over to see it’s a video call, his preferred method of communication. You slide the button to accept the call, but let him stare at your ceiling. 

“What?” you demand. “I can’t talk, I have to go call off my search parties.”

“I was asleep,” he defends himself. “I texted you as soon as I woke up!”

“Didn’t sleep last night, huh?” you joke, but the sting is there. Just a little. 

He avoids the question. “What are we doing tonight?”

You laugh at the audacity of his whole existence. Admitting to your face that he’d been up all night with a girl, and then calling you first thing upon waking like he knows you’ll just be there, waiting for him. What would happen if you weren’t?

Not to mention asking what the Saturday night plan is thirty seconds after waking up with a hangover. 

“I’m assuming you won’t want to go out?” you ask. 

He hums, runs a hand through his messy hair. “Depends. I could be persuaded, maybe. Wouldn’t mind just hanging out, though. What about a movie? We have that one we’ve been saving?”

We.

You’re not sure why, today, it’s bothering you so much. The truth is, Taehyung’s acting and speaking the same as always. So what’s different?

You don’t want to examine the answer to that, so you focus on the plan instead. “I like the sound of a movie,” you agree. “Wanna see if anyone else is interested?”

“Yeah,” Taehyung says. “I’ll text everyone.”

“Sounds good. See you around eight?”

“Should we order dinner before that?” he asks.

Something in your stomach turns. You don’t want to. You don’t want to keep getting your heart stepped on. You don’t want his metaphorical scent on all of your clothes, so that you can’t go anywhere or do anything without him lingering on you. 

And at the same time, he’s your best friend. He’s your family. You love him, in multiple ways.

It feels like being tugged in opposite directions. It feels like lose/lose. It feels like there’s no right answer, nowhere to turn, no option that doesn’t hurt.

“Not tonight,” you hear yourself say. “I have too much homework.”

“Okay,” he says easily. “See you around eight, then. I’ll let you know if anyone else is coming with me.”

You try to return to homework after you hang up, but your focus is shot. You lean onto the cushy back of the couch, closing your eyes. You’re still sitting like that when you hear the front door open. Namjoon hadn’t been home when you got up, had been out the whole time.

“Hey,” you say, eyes still closed.

He gives a chuckle. “Everything okay?”

“I think my brain is broken,” you tell him. “Can Edna write about something besides death?”

He huffs out a laugh, and you hear him drop his keys onto the counter. “I think she does,” he says, coming closer and peering at the anthology you still have open on the table in front of you. “Nature. Rebellion. Men. Women. Love. Sex.”

Your cheeks burn, like you’re thirteen damn years old, just from hearing the word sex in his low, steady voice.

Get a grip, you scold yourself silently. 

“I guess so,” you admit. “But today everything I read is about grief.”

“Take a break,” he suggests, moving into the kitchen. You hear a cabinet open and the sink run, and then he comes in carrying a glass of water. He sits down a few feet away from you on the couch and copies your pose, leaning back against the cushions.

It occurs to you that you’ve never sat on the couch at the same time as him before. In fact, your Uber ride last night was the closest your bodies had ever been. 

“We’re gonna watch a movie tonight,” you find yourself telling him. “That new one with what’s-his-face, Raven’s Prophecy? Around eight. If you want to join.”

“Yeah,” he says right away, surprising you. “Sounds good.”

–

The movie’s good  - really good. You’re all crowded around the living room - Namjoon on one end of the couch, Yoongi on the other, you and Taehyung and Jimin on the floor. The coffee table has been pushed to the side to make room for you, the lights turned down. Taehyung is sitting with his back against the couch, legs extended in front of him, and you have a throw-pillow leaning against his knees, laying perpendicular to him. Jimin sits next to Taehyung, one of his legs resting lazily over top of yours.

It feels normal, and it feels nice, and everything weird from earlier seems to float away. Maybe you had just been tired. 

“That’s totally foreshadowing,” you pipe up, raising a hand to point at the screen. “Because when he-.”

“Hey,” Taehyung says loudly, reaching over to flick the back of your arm. “No nerd talk. Just enjoy the movie. No one asked for a literary analysis.”

“But, look -.”

“No,” he repeats firmly, and Jimin giggles, used to this exact squabble. “This is fun, not school.”

“Foreshadowing is fun!” you protest, laughing, but you let it go. 

A second later, your phone buzzes in your hand. 

[9:37 PM] Namjoon: 🤯

You bite back a smile, turning off your screen before the light can catch anyone’s attention, and then you cast your gaze up at the couch to find Namjoon looking right at you, a sheepish smile creeping up on one side of his face. 

You’re thankful for the dark of the room, the light shifting and changing with the scene on the tv screen, as you feel yourself blush. 

God, you think to yourself. Get it together. Two days ago, it hadn’t been like this, where every met glance cues up a shy smile, and each tiny smile elicits a flush. You don’t know who this girl is but she is un-fucking-recognizable. 

You wait a minute or two, then turn your brightness down and send back, “but am i wrong?”. Then you glance back up to watch Namjoon read the text. He gives a laugh, one shake of his shoulders as he sees it, and then he meets your gaze. That same half-smile on his face, he shakes his head imperceptibly. 

Behind you, beneath you, Taehyung shifts and you turn back to the tv quickly, feeling something akin to guilt simmer in your gut. You don’t see his eyes bounce back and forth between you and Namjoon, curious. 

Monday October 22nd

Monday brings bright sunshine despite the chilly air, morning light illuminating the deep reds and oranges of the trees down the block. 

Namjoon finds you in the kitchen, staring listlessly into an untouched cup of coffee. 

“Good morning?” he greets you, a question.

You startle. “Shit!” you yelp and then laugh, heart pounding. “I didn’t even hear you getting ready in there. ”

“Didn’t mean to scare you,” he says apologetically. “I’m heading to campus in a bit… how about you?”

“Yeah,” you say glumly. “I have work and class.”

“Same,” he says, moving around you to rummage for some breakfast. “Class first, and then I’m TA-ing all afternoon.” 

You give him a little smile. “I don’t think I’ll be needing your services today.”

“No?” he asks mildly. “Last few submissions went well?”

You quirk an eyebrow. “Bold of you to assume I’ve written anything worth submitting.”

He laughs, his back to you, and then settles against the kitchen counter. “I can help you brainstorm, too, if you’re stuck.”

You bite back the prideful I don’t need your help that rises to your tongue. He’s being nice. Instead, you say, “Hopefully I’ll make some progress on my own. Have fun, though. You still have that office to yourself? If I had that, I’d be so productive. Nothing to distract me.”

Namjoon shakes his head, smiling ruefully. “I find ways. I still have my phone. And a window.”

You laugh at this, and then rise, draining half of your mug of coffee in one go. “I need to head in. Are you leaving now, too? Or, later?”

“I can make now work,” he says, something warm in his tone. “Let me just go grab my bag.”

Out front, you blink against the sudden brightness, holding up a hand to shield your eyes as they adjust. Namjoon locks the front door and comes down the steps at a light jog, stopping next to you.

“Ready?” he asks. 

“Yeah,” you tell him, and you start off towards campus in silence, the only noise around you the calls of birds and the hum of car engines from nearby traffic. 

You stop at an intersection, watching the orange hand tell you to wait. “So,” you say, glancing up at him as the cars whiz by, “what’s your book about?”

He looks at you completely blankly, like he has no idea what you’re talking about.

“For the grad program,” you clarify. “You said you were in fiction, right?”

“Oh,” he says, as if he forgot. “Yeah. Um, I don’t know. It’s hard to explain.”

“Try,” you say dryly.

“It’s a coming-of-age, I guess,” he says, rubbing his chin as he thinks. He’s wearing his glasses today, and you have half a mind to tease him that he’s just trying to look like one of the professors so they don’t kick him out of his hijacked office. “And a bit of an unrequited love story.”

“The good kind or the bad kind?” you ask, a little absently. When he doesn’t answer, you look at him to determine why, and he’s looking at you like you’ve asked the most ridiculous question in the world.

You huff out a sigh. “Like - unrequited because the other person doesn’t know, or because they don’t return the feelings?”

“One of those is the good kind?” he asks, raising a brow. 

“The first one,” you say, as if it’s obvious. “It’s… it always exists only as the idea of love, it’s untarnished, it can remain a beautiful and pure thing. It never gets messed up.”

“But you’re alone,” Namjoon counters. 

“You still love someone,” you insist. “The meaning of life, and all that shit.”

Namjoon shakes his head as the stoplight above you changes from green to yellow, and then to red. “It’s not the same as loving someone and having them love you back, building it together and working to sustain it,” he says firmly. “That’s real love.” And then he heads for the crosswalk, his long legs carrying him swiftly away. 

You hurry to catch up, feet following his without question.

–

The first leaf falls, a warning. Now the rest will follow. I watched them sway all summer. Autumn leaves me hollow.

There’s a promise in the air, I turn towards the icy bite. If autumn can’t make me happy, I wonder if winter might.

Aren’t those frozen days so dark? Isn’t catching snowflakes strange? Perhaps this could be something. Perhaps something has to change.

You frown at the page. Half of you is tempted to take Namjoon up on his offer to workshop during his TA hours, but you’ve got a good reason not to let him see this one. 

“Y/N?” Kris calls from the register at the front of the store. “Did I leave my phone back there?”

Their voice brings you back to reality, pulling your focus from the page of your notebook open on your lap. You’re hiding in the stockroom, sitting on an unpacked box of what you hope are books, trying to cram in some coursework. 

Kris’s phone is indeed on a table behind you, where you sling your bookbag when you come in to start a shift. You rise, slipping your notebook back into said bag and grabbing the phone, walking it out to them. 

You’re alarmed when both phones buzz in your hands, a long, repeating pattern that you aren’t accustomed to.

“What the fuck?” you utter, even though if your boss heard you cursing on the floor you’d get a written reprimand for the first time in your life. 

“Storm alert,” Kris says, reaching one grabby hand out for their phone. You pass it over and press your thumb to your own screen. Sure enough, it’s a severe weather alert. 

You groan. “Great. I walked here.” You try to pull up the radar, but your shitty service takes too long to load it so you switch over to the hour-by-hour. 

“See if your knight in shining armor will give you a ride,” Kris says with a twisted chuckle. 

For a second, you aren’t sure if they mean Taehyung or Namjoon, and that fact is startling. Obviously they mean Taehyung, they know a lot of your history with him and they don't know anything about what’s happening with Namjoon. Nothing is happening with Namjoon, you correct yourself sternly. You had a weird desire to scoot closer while drunk in an Uber and had one sort of deep conversation. It’s not a thing. 

And, actually, texting Taehyung for a ride is a pretty good idea. Outside, it’s not even raining yet, but the clouds hang low and the leaves that have managed to cling to their branches this late into autumn are flipping and shimmying in the harsh wind. 

There’s a long line of students waiting to check out - probably grabbing last minute snacks and drinks before the rain starts, so they don’t have to go out later - so you slide next to Kris at the second register and swipe your access card. You work like this for at least an hour, the rain starting a pace outside the windows as steady as the flow of students trying to get what they need and hurry back to their dorms. 

When you catch a minute, you send a text, holding your phone down under the counter and typing with one hand, as if it isn’t painfully obvious what you’re doing. When the answer comes in, you tap the screen quickly.

[4:22 PM] You: are you still on campus?

[4:31 PM] Namjoon: just finished work. can’t wait to walk back in this…

You giggle and Kris looks at you out of the corner of their eyes.

“That him?” they ask. They mean Taehyung, and you’re too damn aware of the lie as you answer, “Mhm.”

[4:34 PM] You: i’m done in 25 min if you want to suffer together

[4:36 PM] Namjoon: yeah sounds good you can make sure i dont drown lol

An “lol”? Oh, goodness.

[4:37 PM] Namjoon: you’re at the bookstore right? i’ll come there and wait for you

Oh, lord, Kris is going to have a field day with this. You don’t have time to focus on this, as your boss finally sweeps out of her adjoining office, announcing that you need to shut down the second register and finish everything in the back room before your shift ends. She’ll be the one to close the store tonight, as she does on Mondays. 

When you emerge from the back room at 4:59 on the dot, your backpack on your back, Namjoon is loitering near the registers, and Kris is shooting you looks that are somehow mischievous, delighted, and wounded. You have a feeling you’ll be interrogated during your shift on Wednesday.

Outside, the rain isn’t that bad, but it is steady. The wind blowing makes it look like it’s raining left to right, in sheets. 

“We’re gonna be drenched,” you groan. You follow Namjoon out of the bookstore, waving a goodbye at a still-disgruntled Kris, stopping at the glass doors that lead outside. 

“It’s not that bad,” Namjoon tells you, voice a little fond, like he thinks your complaining is cute. “We’ll just go quick. I’m mostly worried about my laptop.”

“Ugh, same,” you lament. “We’d better be fast, I fully cannot afford a new one.”

“Let’s go,” he tells you, and leads you outside. Just like that morning, your feet follow his, like it’s natural. You walk in silence almost halfway home, the pace too clipped to really carry on any kind of conversation. 

You’re practically panting for breath when you hit the major crosswalk, stopping to wait for the signal to walk. The rain seems worse when you’re stopped - sticking your hair to your head where it lands, raising the hairs on your arms as your body gives one dramatic shiver against the chill. Namjoon looks down at you.

“We’re almost there,” he says, reassuring. 

“Mhm,” you manage, rubbing your hands over your arms to fight off the goosebumps. The light changes and you start across, following Namjoon and his naturally long stride. You keep your eyes on the ground, dodging puddles, watching the white stripes pass beneath you. 

You’re just across, stepping up the curb onto the sidewalk, when it happens.

The sky opens. 

One second it’s raining hard enough to be a nuisance, the next second it feels like someone dumped a bucket of water over your head. The sound goes from a soft patter to a sudden roar, like the rain is alive and it is pissed. You splutter, actually blowing water away from your lips, reaching up to wipe your eyes. 

“Fucking shit,” Namjoon swears, and then he grabs your hand and tugs. “Come on!”

He’s not running that fast but there’s still a few seconds where you feel uneven, your gait awkward, trying to match his. Eventually your feet settle into the rhythm and you run just behind him. His hand, so large in yours it's almost swallowing it, is warm and solid and sure. His grip is tight - like he means it. He doesn’t look back as he runs, just squeezes your hand in his and trusts you to keep up.

When you round the corner of your block, together, you try to pull back, try to slow down. Your lungs hurt, your legs are burning, and you just want to admit defeat and walk the block letting the rain know it won.

Namjoon doesn’t let you. He slows his pace to more of a race-walk, gives your arm another playful tug. Not for a single second does he loosen his grip on your hand.  

“You can make it,” he tells you over his shoulder. His hair is flattened from the rain, his face a little flushed from the run, but his dimples wink at you through the deluge.

When he reaches the front of the apartment, he finally drops your hand and takes the steps at a clip. At the top, under the safety of the awning, he turns to see why you haven’t followed him.

You can’t help it - it’s all so ridiculous you have to laugh. Your hair sticks to your face like cooked spaghetti, your shirt clings to your arms, your backpack is dripping water like there’s a faucet in there, and even your socks are wet, making each step you take squelch like mud. Still cackling at the absurdity of this moment, of having been completely defeated by the season, of running all the way home and still ending up half-drowned, you look up at the sky. The rain slides down the sides of your face and you let it cool the heat that’s there from either running, or Namjoon’s touch.

You feel a little drunk from it. 

“Y/N!” Namjoon scolds from the top of the stairs, but he’s smiling that same fond little smile he’d had on movie night a few days ago. “Come inside! You’re going to get pneumonia.”

You look back at him, the rain still assaulting you from above. There’s a second where you feel something. Something like… you’re half-drowned and chilled to the bone, but you feel warm with his affectionate gaze on you. Like you don’t want him to look away and leave you cold again. Like the rain was penance and now you’re all paid up. 

Like for at least this moment, right now, the rain has washed away your histories and left you clean and empty, a blank page waiting for a new story to tell - where before, your pages were full of scribbles and scrawls that held such heavy meaning there was no room for anything new.

You’re thinking too much.

You’re standing in the rain, Namjoon is looking at you like you’re nuts, and you’re thinking too much.

 Watching your feet, you head up the stairs, going through the front door that he’s holding open for you.

You squish your way upstairs, neither of you talking. Inside the apartment, Namjoon flicks on a few lamps.

“I’m going to grab a shower,” he tells you, voice quiet. “You should, too.”

“Yeah,” you agree. “That was my plan.”

You stand beneath the spray of hot water, tapping on the faucet to work it hotter by degrees, not wanting the temperature to jump and scald you. You feel drained, like your limbs are noodles. You lean your forehead against the tile wall, closing your eyes and just breathing.

“What the fuck…” you whisper to no one, “is going on?”

You wish you had a friend to talk it out with. Kris would go overboard, exploding with glee. Lin isn’t a talk about boys kind of person, or even a talk about your feelings kind. That leaves Taehyung, and the idea of trying to talk to him about your burgeoning feelings for Namjoon makes you laugh out loud, the single syllable echoing off the shower walls, echoing back to mock you. 

When you finally make it back into the living room, hair blow-dried and wearing your fuzziest joggers and a hoodie, Namjoon is tucked away in his own room, the door open that familiar four inches. 

You get settled on the couch and pull out your phone and realize practically with a gasp - you hadn’t even tried to text Taehyung to drive you, nice and dry, back from campus. Your brain had thought but I walked here with Namjoon and the option of “dry” went right out the window.

You cover your face with your hands, sliding down on the couch a little bit. What is the matter with you? 

You feel right now like it’s all happening too much, too fast. What even is “it”? Do you like Namjoon? Despite barely knowing him? Despite having to live with him? 

Despite the years and years of experience you have with loving Taehyung, and Taehyung alone, out of everyone in the whole wide world?

Luckily, Namjoon stays in his room for the rest of the evening, sparing you from any more self-reflection, any more soul-searching. 

You still kind of wish he’d come out. 

Tuesday October 23rd

One of the steady things that you and Namjoon share, that works for you as roommates, is that neither of you cooks. A whole kitchen of pots and pans just to heat up water for tea and ramen and to occasionally cook an egg. 

So when you get home from class on Tuesday so late that it’s already pretty dark out and you hear the clanging and banging from the kitchen that indicates a meal being made, you genuinely wonder if you’re at the wrong door. 

As you push the door open, the noise only gets louder. You round the corner and see the kitchen in chaos - two unmanned pans on the stove, bowls and whisks and colanders and cutting boards all over the counterspace. Namjoon has his back to you, a large kitchen knife in hand. 

You ease around him, not wanting to startle him until the knife is set down. He spots you anyway, and gives you a sheepish grin.

“What… exactly… is happening here?” you inquire. 

“It depends on the scope of your question,” Namjoon answers, because of course he can’t just fucking answer you like a normal person. “If you’re referring to the stove, I am burning some sauce on the left and burning some meat on the right. If you’re referring to the cutting board, I am -.”

“The stove is on fire!” you shriek, pointing, your spare hand flying to cover your mouth in horror. Flames crawl from underneath the pan of meat, over the top, devouring what’s in the pan and leaping into the air. Namjoon drops the knife with a clatter and whirls around, eyes wide. 

“What do I do?” he cries, hands in the air like he’s going to swat the flames like gnats.

“Turn off the burner and smother it!” you cry, not willing to enter the kitchen and get closer to the danger. 

“Smother it?” he repeats, the words a little wild as he screams them. Smoke has filled the kitchen, blurring your view of him, and the smoke alarm over the front door begins to blare. 

“The lid!” you scream, trying to be louder than the alarm. “Turn off the burner and put the lid on the pan! Be careful!”

You add this last part in a shriek as Namjoon follows your directions, reaching towards the flame to twist the burner and then slam the lid over the top of the pan, hissing a little as he does. 

The flames vanish almost instantly, but the smoke remains and the alarm keeps screaming. Namjoon looks at the pan, then his hand, then at you. 

“Go run cool water on that,” you tell him firmly, and you cross the apartment to open the windows and turn on the fans. 

You return to the kitchen to find Namjoon running the sink over his knuckles, brows furrowed.

“Is it bad?” you ask loudly - again, to be heard over the smoke alarm - as you open a drawer and get a kitchen towel, moving to stand in the kitchen’s doorway flapping away, trying to send the smoke towards the open windows. 

“No,” he tells you, pulling his hand out of the stream of water to examine it more closely. “It’s just a little red.”

“Keep it there for a little bit,” you tell him, still flapping away. “I might have burn cream in my bathroom, I’ll check in a second.”

Eventually the alarm quiets and you both heave a sigh of relief. The cold air coming from the open windows chills you down to your toes, but smoke still clings to the room, blurring your vision just enough to wonder if you’re imagining it. 

You find the burn cream in your medicine cabinet and return to the living room. Namjoon is looking at the ruined remains of his dinner with something like heartbreak on his face.

“Come here,” you tell him, sitting at the breakfast bar, ointment in your hand. “Come sit so I can do this.”

“I can do it,” he protests, but he heads your way.

“Sit,” you repeat, pulling out the stool next to you.

He does, silently and obediently, sliding his hand over to you. You can see the redness over his knuckles, middle and index the most. You uncap the tube and squeeze a little onto your fingers, then take his hand in your spare one to hold it steady. Gently you press the cream into his skin, making sure to cover each bit of redness. Namjoon watches you solemnly, wincing a little when your fingers touch his middle knuckle.

“See if that helps,” you tell him, his hand still resting on yours. “Want help cleaning up?”

He sighs heavily, and you both look at the kitchen in defeat at the mess of pans and bowls to wash.

“Do you ever just… miss your mom?” he asks plaintively, not looking at you.

The thing about grief - long-term grief, lifetime grief - is that you can go days, maybe even weeks at a time without noticing it. It’s kind of like a bruise in a hard to reach spot. It just takes one bump in exactly the right place, and it hurts just as bad as day one all over again. Namjoon’s words pierce you, and you take a slow breath. You were just caught off-guard, that’s all. You can be fine. You can be normal.

“Sure,” you say, trying to sound casual. Failing. 

He narrows his eyes at you in suspicion. “Why’d you get weird?” he asks. “Do you have a bad relationship with your mom or something? I didn’t mean to -.”

“It’s okay,” you assure him, but you rise and head for the kitchen, starting to pick things up just to do something with your hands. “It’s just… I don’t have my mom anymore. She passed when I was little. My dad too.” Might as well get it all out there. It felt weird to let someone only know half.

It’s easier to handle this moment with Namjoon in another room. You don’t have to watch him react, don’t have to translate his silence and his body language. You slide all the chopped onion onto a plate just  in case Namjoon still wants to use it, and turn to rinse off the cutting board in the sink. 

He appears behind you, silently lingering in the doorway. “Y/N,” he says softly. 

“It’s fine, Namjoon,” you tell him, scrubbing at the cutting board vigorously. You don’t turn to face him.

“I wouldn’t have been so blase about it if I’d known,” he says apologetically.

“I know,” you say. You turn - away from the doorway - to put the cutting board aside to dry. You grab the pan with sauce in it - all congealed and unappetizing now - and move to scrape it into the garbage can. 

He comes up beside you; his fingers touch your elbow, feather-light, like he’s afraid he’ll spook you.

“Y/N,” he implores. “Look at me.”

You do, glancing sideways up at him, the pan heavy in your hand. “I’m not upset,” you assure him. “People just get so weird when they find out. I hate… navigating that, over and over again, with new people.”

He gives you a guilty smile, but there’s relief in it as well. “I will stop being weird immediately,” he promises. “I just felt like I stepped in it, you know?”

You shrug. “It happens to the best of us. It really is fine. It’s been a long time.”

You arm tingles where he’d touched you, but he stays put when you move back to the sink, running the water hot enough to steam before you put the pan under it. Then, wordlessly, he moves next to you, grabbing a cloth and starting to dry the cutting board you’d washed.

You carry on that like that, a perfectly synchronized dance, in silence until the countertop is empty. All that remains is the pan that had been alight about half an hour ago.

“Can I ask you something personal?” he asks, leaning against the counter as you scrape the remains of the charred meat into the garbage with a grimace. “I’m just curious. You can tell me to fuck off.”

“It’s so jarring when you swear,” you tell him.

He grins at you. “Hobi says my surprising potty-mouth is one of my best charms.”

You laugh at this. “I can see that,” you agree. “It is surprising.”

“Not charming?” he teases.

You shrug, feeling that blush rise up again. “No comment. Anyway - what did you want to ask?”

He lets you get away with evading the flirtation. “If you were little… who raised you?”

“Oh,” you say. You aren’t sure what you thought he’d ask, but it wasn’t that. “My grandma, until she couldn’t. Then my Aunt Lin took over, but she’s more like a big sister than anything.”

Namjoon nods. Then he asks, carefully, “Did Taehyung know your parents?”

The question makes you smile at the memories it pulls up - you and Taehyung as kids together, goofing off around your house, back when it had been filled with people.

“Yeah,” you say softly. It doesn’t occur to you to wonder why he’d ask that. It doesn’t occur to you to mask the tiny smile, that it might jostle his feelings even a little bit.

You look over at him when you realize he’s gone quiet. “Are you close with your family?” you ask, genuinely curious.

He nods, eyes on the pan lid that he’s drying. “Very. I was a lost soul when I first moved to campus. I couldn’t do anything.”

“You burned dinner tonight,” you point out. 

“I can do laundry now,” he retorts, smiling at you as you put the last of the dishes away. “I’ve come a long way.”

“Still room to grow,” you tease, reaching out to give his arm a playful nudge.

You’re giving playful touches now. That’s a thing that’s happening. 

You ache, again, to have someone to tell. 

Wednesday October 24th

You both love and hate Wednesdays - on one hand, you have your thesis double-feature, and you actually enjoy it. On the other hand, you go straight from double-class to closing shift at the campus store, and you don’t get home until dark. The day is long, and you’d rather be home. For several reasons. 

Your morning goes as you expect - you make it through the lecture part of class, updating Professor Jemisen on how your research segment is going. During the break, you eat some leftovers you’d thrown in your backpack, and talk with Gloria and the other girls. After the break, your group helps you workshop your latest poem, the one about the season changing, and you do the same for them.

The season changing is happening in real life, all around you. Fall fades quickly, the days darkening, the chills lasting longer, becoming more pronounced. Gone are the autumn days that change their mood and become summer again for hours at a time. 

You normally go straight to the campus store after class, but this week you’re hungry - the leftovers you packed weren’t enough to keep you until you get home. Instead of heading down the main paved path to the student center, where you work, you head for a large academic building you pass on the way there. You know there’s a little sandwich station on the lowest floor, tucked away past the mailroom like a well-kept secret. 

You take a hallway off to the side, passing some open classrooms on your way to the staircase. You’re walking mindlessly, head thinking only about the sandwich you’re going to order. You slow your steps when you hear a familiar voice, low and calm. 

“All I’m saying,” a girl is saying, and you stop in the doorway, listening, “is that while the idea of going to live alone in the woods is actually extremely appealing, Thoreau as a whole kind of sucks.”

“I might agree with you, but you need to frame that more academically,” Namjoon corrects gently.

A circle of students - freshmen, if you had to guess, maybe eight of them, are sitting at desks, their bags all forgotten on the floor by their chairs. Namjoon perches on the edge of the teacher’s desk at the front of the room, legs casually stretched out before him. He’s listening intently as the students debate.

“We have to specify the problem,” someone else in the group points out. “I’m all for metaphorically dragging down statues of the patriarchy and everything, but we need a solid argument.”

“Or,” a different girl says, voice just barely loud enough for you to hear from the hallway, “maybe instead of giving more attention to ‘classics’ we see as undeserving, maybe instead we should focus just on the underprivileged voices that we prefer to be amplified?”

“You mean pick a lesser-known author and shed light on their work instead?” Namjoon clarifies, and the girl nods. 

The group begins to debate this passionately, and Namjoon lets them fight it out, taking a second to glance at his phone. You become aware of the fact that you’re just standing in the hallway staring. You’re about to move on when Namjoon notices you. He looks away quickly at first, and then it registers that it was you standing in the doorway like a weirdo, and his gaze flies back to you. 

Caught, you have no choice but to lean into it. You give him a tiny smile, raising a hand in a guilty wave. He smiles back, just barely. You stay there another minute, smiling at each other, while the freshmen continue to argue. Then your feet spur you on, and you give him a little nod before heading down the hall. But the stupid fucking butterflies stay in your stomach the whole time you wait in line for your sandwich.

When you get to the bookshop, you toss your backpack behind the counter and slump onto a low stool that’s stashed back there. You lean your head on the counter next to the currently unmanned register and let out some unhappy grumbles.

Kris comes out from the stockroom - you can tell it’s them by their footsteps.

“What is happening here,” they say flatly, not exactly a question.

“Kriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis,” you whine, not looking up. “I think I need to talk about… my roommate.”

“Bitch!” they utter indignantly. “He has a name! What grade are we in right now?”

You stomp your feet lightly, needing to display your crankiness. “I am feeling very confused and conflicted and I need you to be nice to me about it,” you say petulantly, finally picking your head up so you can pout better. 

“Okay,” Kris says easily, leaning against the wall. The shop is devoid of customers, so you don’t bother to lower your voice. “Why?”

“I don’t know,” you continue to whine. “It’s just how I feel.”

Kris gives you a level stare. “I need the whining to stop, like, yesterday. If you feel conflicted, there’s a reason. So, figure out what it is.”

“I already said I don’t know,” you tell them, still pouty, but sitting up straight now.

“Dig deep,” Kris deadpans. “Do it for the dimples.”

“Oh my GOD,” you say, unable to even make eye contact. “Never mind, conversation over.”

They shake their head, not letting you off the hook. “What’s the problem, Square?” It’s a nickname they gave you last year when you wouldn’t go partying - because… apparently you’re a square.

“You know the problem,” you grumble quietly, making them lean closer to hear you.

They lean back, something knowing in their eyes. “Ah. It’s the Taehyung factor.”

“Shh,” you scold, glancing around the empty store like someone might have materialized without you noticing. When you return your gaze to them, Kris is just staring at you plainly, waiting for you to elaborate. 

“I don’t know,” you say, and then more emphatically, “I don’t know! If I… start something else… does that mean giving Taehyung up? Because I can’t say I want to do that. Not if I’m being honest.”

Kris nods silently, letting you work it out. You meet their eyes, suddenly feeling the squeeze of anxiety around your chest, like your lungs have something heavy they have to push every time you inhale. 

“If I lose him,” you say in practically a whisper, “I will quite literally die.”

Kris scowls at you. “You will not.”

“I will,” you retort. 

Kris gives you an eyeroll. “So dramatic,” they scold. 

“He’s my family, Kris,” you try to explain. “In a lot of ways he’s my only family.” Your voice breaks as you ask, “What if I lose him?”

Now Kris softens, lips pulling together into something like a very pursed frown. “Maybe you should talk to him,” they suggest quietly.

You hate that idea a lot. “Maybe,” you say loudly, slapping your hand on the counter and standing as the bell over the door chimes and a group of lacrosse guys (the sticks are a give-away) enter the store with a burst of noisy chatter, “I should never talk about any of this ever again.”

Kris sighs heavily, practically doubling over. Now who’s dramatic? “You’re so self-destructive,” they complain.

“Don’t be mean,” you say, going back to pouting.

“Yeah, yeah,” Kris waves a hand at you. “Go write a poem about it.”

“And what if I do?” you demand, but you’re both laughing now, unlocking the registers as the lacrosse dudes line up to pay for their snacks and drinks.

–

Taehyung texts you near the end of your shift - “we haven’t hung out in five billion years :(“.

You roll your eyes at his dramatics and text back, “come get me from the bookstore then and hang out for a little”.

You’re pleased when he agrees. He shows up a little bit before closing, knocking on the already locked glass doors. You hurry to let him in, ignoring Kris staring knives into your back. 

“Hi,” you say happily as he slips into the store, and you lock the door again behind him. “I’ll be done in about four minutes.”

“‘Kay,” he says easily, striding over to the checkout counter and leaning against it. 

“Taehyung,” Kris greets him, nodding their head as they lock the register. “How’s it going?”

He sighs dramatically. “The usual. Classes. Parties. Trying to figure out why Y/N doesn’t love me anymore.”

You freeze halfway to the stockroom, your eyes wide, air catching in your throat. 

Luckily, Kris is and always has been way more slick than you. They cock their head quizzically, letting a playfully concerned frown settle over their features. 

“Y/N doesn’t love you anymore?” they echo, the poor baby pronounced in their tone. “What on earth do you mean?”

Taehyung shoots you a mischievous look; luckily, you’ve gotten your act together since he said those words. 

“I had to beg for her attention tonight,” he says, clearly loving this bit. “I’m beginning to think she has a secret boyfriend she’s not telling me about.”

He’s teasing and you know it, but after a lifetime of friendship with Taehyung, you know this too: there’s a little sliver of him that must be hurt, or at least bothered, or he wouldn’t tease at all.

You feel both caught - despite not having a secret boyfriend or anything like it - and guilty. 

“I’m sorry,” you tell him. “I just got busy with my thesis and everything. I promise I’m not out with other people and not you. Even Kris only sees me at work these days.”

“And Namjoon,” Taehyung adds plaintively, and your blood runs cold.

“Namjoon?” you echo, not sure you can form a different word.

Taehyung’s pouting now, which means he’s not too serious. “Yeah, he has no choice, you’re in his living room every day.”

“Oh,” you say, relief flooding through you. “Yeah.”

You don’t see the point in telling Taehyung that there’s a teeny, tiny something starting with Namjoon. Not when it’s so… unformed, insubstantial, uncertain. You don’t know which word fits best. It’s a maybe at best, and it just doesn’t seem worth rocking the boat over it. 

What would happen if things started for real? Would you tell him? It shouldn’t have to be a secret… it shouldn’t stay a secret, not if you mean it. What would happen?

You’re afraid to know the answers. 

You finish up in the store and you all head to the parking lot together. You tell Kris goodbye and drop down into Taehyung’s passenger seat. 

“You’re gonna stay at the apartment for a little?” you ask. 

“Mhm,” he says, fiddling with the heat until he gets it how he wants it. “Can I work on homework with you?”

“Definitely,” you agree. “I have so much shit to do. I wasn’t kidding when I said school is eating my life. Senior year sucks.”

Taehyung isn’t looking at you - he’s watching the road as he waits for an opening in traffic so he can pull out of the parking lot. But something crosses his face - relief, maybe. Something softens, anyway. Maybe he really had been hurt that you hadn’t been hanging out as much.

When you return to the apartment, Namjoon isn’t home - his door hangs open, his bedroom completely dark. 

You and Taehyung settle in the living room, dragging out your laptops. It’s nice, hanging out like this again. You hadn’t realized how long it had been - over a week - since it had been just the two of you, like old times. Everything falls right into place. You swap snacks, hands brushing as you both reach into crinkling chip bags. You reach over and type nonsense into his paper when he isn’t paying attention, letting out peals of laughter when he figures it out and starts spluttering at you in outrage. You tell him about the customer at the store who argued with you over - of all the stupid things - a used copy of The Odyssey. 

When he hugs you goodbye at the end of the night, swaying you playfully back and forth like he might drop you, both of you giggling wildly, you’re reminded of just what the stakes are. You’re reminded of just how much you have to lose. 

<- Prev || Next ->

ahhhhh what do we think??!! there was hand holding!!!! are we clutching our pearls??!!!

as always thank you all so so so much for being here, i appreciate every one of you so extremely much!!!

BTS Fic Recs pt 2

purely because i am trying to keep track of what i have read and want to read in the future lol.

‼️18+ minors DNI, if you choose to anyways, PLEASE be careful. try to heed our warnings, we have them for a reason‼️

teachers pet 8 JK

reflection RM to read

on the borderline JM to read

aim for the heart JK to read

lost and found JM to read

yet to come JK to read

in motion 09 JK

a fine line 12 RM

raise the barre 09 JM im not ready for 3 chapters of angst

last for life 03 JM

flip and reverse it 02 JH

mostly smut ngl :-)

also lots of one shots

recommend:

[not in any particular order] [if any users would like me to remove their post from this list please let me know and i will do so immediately!]

YOONGI:

twirl for me @gimmethatagustd

dilf!au, angst, smut, series (ongoing),

surround me @yoonivy 10k

BFF2l, FLUFF, smut, one shot

swing life away @aphrodijin 5.2k

husband!yoongi, smut, fluff, angst(?), one shot

a boy like you @cinnaminsvga 11.5k

coworkers2l, f2l, FLUFF GALORE, shy awkward yoongi i love him so much, bread cheeks :,), one shot

fxck christmas @haliiimede 23.4k XMAS

old friends2l, yoongi is such a sweetie, fluff, the tiniest angst (idk MC is a lil grinch for understandable reasons), smut, one shot

the singularity theory (AO3) @/dovechim 30.1k

s2l, fluff, smut, yoongi is such a little shit but hes so cute i love him so much

countermelody @bonvoyagenoona 100k

prod!yoongi, CHARACTER 👏 DEVELOPMENT 👏, yoongs so cute, fluff, angst(?), smut, series

aquiver @floralseokjin 86k

idol!yoongi, fluff, ANGST, smut, honestly yoongi was such a sweetie but things turned in the blink of an EYE - idk how it happened so fast but i loved it, series

this christmas @suga-kookiemonster 30.1k XMAS

ex!yoongi, ANGSTTT, smut, i would love to say a happy ending. yoongi and Y/N lack communication🥲, one shot

sunrises and liquor @aamalaaa

barman!yoongi, fluff, angst, smut, nearly everyone is gay, yoongi so hot, yoongi so cute, yknow, the usual, series

SEOKJIN:

raspberry truffles @gukyi 5k

bff2l, FLUFF, jin’s the sweetest dork, fake!dating but not in a making someone jealous way, one shot

dick n go @winetae 12.8k

hook up!jin, crack, smut, one shot,

christmas warfare @gimmethatagustd 14.5k XMAS

exes2l, FLUFF, smut, one shot, jin is honestly the cutest thing ever. one shot

catch of the century @joheunsaram MULTI

30 different fics by 30 different authors to celebrate jin’s 30th birthday. smut, angst, fluff, everything you could ever need. pls show these authors some love!!

knocked @sailoryooons

gamer!jin, roommates2l, fluff, smut, jin is so cute as always

NAMJOON:

the dimple theory @e-cm 18k

university!au, fluff, smut, angst, 2 parts,

all night @luaspersona

s2l, BBF, honestly just pure filthy smut. lil fluff, one shot 12k… 12k all smut. so fkn good 👨‍🍳💋

Hooked @joopiterjoon (AO3, also on tumblr) 103k

s2l, honestly idiots2l, fluff, ANGST, smut, series (completed),

you wanna beat the fuck out of MC in the best and worst ways possible. 2 endings btw.

real magic @here2bbtstrash 16.7k XMAS

s2l, WAHH SOFT JOON, fluff, smut, joon is so awkward like always i love him, one shot

the stand in @yoonia

pregnant!reader, fluff, smut, lil angst, joon best boy, kind of a series- can be read as a one shot

all i need is me @yoonkimint

idol!joon, SMAU, fluff, angst, a lil fast paced but cute asf, i love this joon but he a lil bitch, series

not another holiday romance @kpopfanfictrash 32.2k XMAS

small town hallmark!au, FLUFF, i love historian namjoon so much, angst, smut (at the end)

JUNGKOOK:

across a crowded room @monimonimoon 10.7k

idol!au, angst(?), fluff, smut, one shot

streams and sheets @astralmono 10k

streamer!au, angst :(, smut, one shot

lights out @hobisonlyhope 9k

tutor!au, smut, angst?????, one shot

out of time @97erstan

ex!jk, smut, ANGST (infidelity), mini series, ongoing

risque @mercurygguk

older!jk, smut, fluff, angst, series ongoing,

long way home @sparklingchim

dilf!jk, f2l, angst, fluff, series ongoing

thirteen rounds @monimonimoon 13.2k

boxer!jk, HONESTLY PURE SMUT. LIKE SMUT WITH A LIL PLOT

not my fault @taegularities 12.6k

uni!au, fluff, smut, SIGGGHHHH nerdy jk 🤭🤭

HOSEOK:

started with a spark now we’re on fire @the-boy-meets-evil 6.5k

f2l, smut, fluff, one shot,

blue side @hamsterclaw 7.7k

f2l, smut, angst, lil fluff

sonic rain @jungblue 25k

dancer!au, smut, angst, fluff?, honestly hobi is whipped, one shot

upbeat @/fizzydrink698 (AO3) 12.6k

IDIOTS2l, bff2l, fluff, like the tiniest of angsts, they’re both kinda dumb

keynote @missgeniality 18.5k

s2l, i’ll be straight up. it’s DIRRTY ASS SMUT- that’s all. LOL.

part 2 touchless 8k

perfect dream girl @bonvoyagenoona 35k XMAS

f2l, the cutest hobi fic to ever exist, FLUFF so fluffy, tiny tiny angst, a lil smut, the tannies just want hobi to be happy 😭😭

for the first time (what’s past is past) @candlewaxandp0lar0ids 15.7k

neighbour!hobi, i love them. i love them. i love them. such a cute fic. fluff fluff fluff, a lil smut, tiniest of tiniest angsts.

TAEHYUNG:

love and rivalry @kooktrash 17.3k

e2l, idiots2l, smut. (no angst they’re just idiots) one shot

much better @yoonivy 18k

tatted!tae, tae is a twin, fluff, smut, angst(??), idk i love this tae a lot he’s a lil cutie

part 2

fan service @bangtanintotheroom 30k

camboy!tae. imma be real. it’s 30k words of smut. that’s it. that’s the whole thing.

sweetbitter @rosedtae 16.9k

ceo!tae, e2l, smut, fluff???? angst??? idk i’m bad at tagging.

crazy for you @oddinary4bts 46.8k

idol!tae, bffs brother au, mostly smut ngl, but cute fluffy tae and yeontan, but ofc there’s angst too. one shot

sugar plum wishes @army-author 12.7k XMAS

fairy!tae, fluff, angst(?????????), hes a lil cutie. oneshot

farmer boy i love you @strawberrynamjoon 35k

farmer!tae, FLUFF, honestly i love this tae so much hes such a lil shit, oneshot

JIMIN:

heart wide open @jjiimin

bff2l, soulmate!au, angst, fluff, one shot

let’s get quizzical @taleasnewastime 28.6k

f2l, fuckboy(?)!jimin, small bit of smut towards the beginning, fluff, angst, you want to beat up MC, one shot

dr park with his smiley faces @1uvtae 8.8k

dr!jimin, s2f2l, angst(?), fluff, one shot

oh what a world (AO3) @/cutechim 141.4k

idol!au, s2l, angst, fluff, smut, series, WAAHHH i loved this so much so cute for no reason

starlight starbright @readyplayerhobi 17.5k

dad!jimin, s2l, fluff, smut, one shot, jimin and his daughter are so CUUUTTTEEE bro. his tattoo 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶

believe it @writtenwhalien 28.5k

sort of high school! au, s2f2e2l, fluff, angst, smut, jimin just wants to protect reader :,)

the boyfriend concept @kpopfanfictrash 22k

pornstar!jimin, fluff, angst, smut, honestly the cutest ending ever

shake shack @kth1 14.4k

acquaintances2l, chim is adorable as always, fluff, smut

like i said at the end of my last fic rec post, if any of you have recommendations for me, please send them through!! my inbox is OPEN and i am always looking for more things to read!

Christopher Robert Evans don’t do that with your eyes 

3:47 AM (m) | Kim Taehyung, 8.3k

Pairing(s): Taehyung x Reader

Summary: Unrequited love sucks. But it may have led you to someone else. That someone else being Taehyung. But there’s an issue. You might not be over Yoongi and he might still be hung up on someone else - his long-term girlfriend, or now ex. As you remember the past, you and him began to reflect, what you wanted may not have been as great as you remembered. And now, with all that time together, can things be progressing elsewhere?

Warnings/Tags: RATED M (18+); for language, minor angst (you and Taehyung are still very much heartbroken but there is hope of moving forward - this is a maybe loool); smut (fem-reader; choking; penetrative sex); idol!AU - friends with benefits, maybe lovers). Fluff? Fluff.

=======

There are a couple of flashbacks embedded here - may have gotten a little bit carried away, but oh well 😉

=======

2017

"I have big dreams you know," Yoongi murmured, as if talking to himself. You were both alone, sat in a VIP box at the Gocheok Sky Dome where it gave an unparalleled view of the space. BTS had just completed with Wings Tour and with the additional dates being sold out, Yoongi was on cloud nine. It was empty as the audience had filtered out and the view of the seating was surreal. You remembered Yoongi telling you that it had the capacity for sixteen- thousand people. That’s when you realised that you were far from Daegu and the small auditorium where he would practice, in front of you and his older brother.

Sated and flushed from the concert, Yoongi enjoyed the cool air that met his skin, he had a black hoodie on with a white shirt underneath. You had attended the final date of the tour in Seoul, he was able to give you VIP tickets and you sat with his family, transfixed by the roar of the crowed as they sang each lyric with fervour.

"I know you do,” You smiled, supportive. It was only and upwards trajectory from here, you knew that he’d reach even higher heights and that only made you excited for him. You thought back to when he would let you hear snippets of what he was working on every now and then. Those were the moments that touched you the most, the fact that he was willing to share them and valued your opinion. The silence between you was comfortable, but it was getting to the point of awkwardness. You wasn't exactly sure why he asked you stay, you were busy these days, not like him but still. Something at the pit of your stomach told you that there was something more to this meeting than you had anticipated. Yoongi looked down on his nails, absentminded but deep in thought. You had to force yourself to hold back a sigh, it was getting late.

"Yoongi I-"

"I'm seeing someone."

Your breath caught in your throat and you looked away quickly, desperate something to quell an upcoming wave of tears. Why are you even affected? It had been months since you saw him, you were daft to think that he hadn’t found someone in that time. Blinking several times, you bit your bottom lip and clenched your jaw. The grip on the chair was so strong that your entire body went rigid.

"You have a way of saying big things so casually," You laughed, trying to hide the tremor in your voice. Keeping your gaze on the numerous seats that filled the floors below, you collected yourself before he noticed. Focusing on yours shoes, they were noticeably scuffed at the front.

Yoongi chuckled softly, sounding completely happy, "You know me."

Those words made your blood ran cold. A shiver went through your body. Yoongi noticed and immediately shrugged off his hoodie, draping it across your shoulders. It was warm, and it smelled like him. You accepted it because that was just something Yoongi would do, it didn’t matter who you were.

"What's she like?" It was an innocent question, not at all telling of the turmoil you felt inside. There was a noticeable pause, then Yoongi let out a small exhale, like the beginnings of a laugh. You knew that that meant he was holding back his excitement, he was probably so happy, he could burst.

"You should meet her. She's - she's so right for me, you'll see. We met a couple of weeks ago, in the middle of the tour... I can't even explain it," he was stumbling over his words. It was as if an apparition of the woman he spoke of stood right in front of him. You looked at Yoongi and noticed how bright his eyes were, how he was enchanted just at the thought. Never mind that he had just performed his heart out in front of thousands of people, he didn’t look exhausted at all. He had a wide smile, goofy and innocent. The sides of his eyes crinkled, like when he was really happy. In that moment, his demeanour was unlike his on-stage presence.

It didn’t take long before the hoodie became useless. Yoongi’s mere statement was enough to shatter any form of symbolism you kept for yourself. You were just cold and he was being gentlemanly, always supportive of because you had known each other forever. And in that moment, you reminded yourself that you would always be his friend first and nothing more than that. You inhaled sharply, staring at the stage where they performed not too long ago, swallowing thickly as you experienced a wave of adrenaline. You wanted to run away, to turn back time, to go back to when you were just sitting in silence. That was better that talking about her, whoever she was.

“I’ve got to meet this woman who’s made you act like this!” You laughed.

It was as if someone else was talking in your stead. Someone who looked like you, talked like you. A proxy. Yoongi chuckled and buried his face in his hands, embarrassed at himself. He threw his arm around you, it was natural, you had been friends for the longest time and you knew that when Yoongi couldn’t express himself, he wanted to hold something, to anchor himself. But this time, you froze at his touch. Noticing immediately, he searched your face and was met with a flicker of hesitation. You gazed at him, his expectant face mixed confusion at your reaction.

“Sorry,” He muttered, still giddy from his confession, untangling himself from you.

“It’s okay, I was just surprised,” You said honestly. Yoongi was already elsewhere, thinking of the woman that made his world turn unexpectedly.

“Anyway, I better get back, do you need a lift home?” He announced, getting up swiftly and dusting himself off. You shook your head.

“I can take the subway.”

“You sure? It’s quite late,” He asked, worried all of the sudden. You let your shoulders sag as you began to lift his hoodie from them. Yoongi shook his head and gave you a side hug.

“Give it to me some other time.”

With that, you walked together, descending down the stairs back to the exit. You heard him humming to himself as he went along as you followed, your hands feeling numb.

-

2018

“Why don’t you call Yoongi? We should celebrate!”

Your mother was busy plating the food as you father continued to watch the news by your side. The jacket that you wore for was draped on a spare chair after you had finished a gruelling 10 hour shift. Dinner was plated and steaming, it was your first day at work and it did not fail to exhaust you.

“He’s either busy preparing for the tour or doing shows. I can’t just call him last minute like before,” you explained, picking up a spoon so you could have a taste of the soup.

“Well, it’s worth a call.”

“No, it’s okay.”

Halfway through the celebratory cake the doorbell rang. With your parents tucked in bed and your nose buried in some report you were preparing, you didn’t bother to get up thinking it was unruly kids on your apartment floor. They had been doing this thing where they would ring random doorbells and run away immediately. They were lucky that your father was asleep, otherwise they would have been terrified by his thunderous voice.

But as the doorbell rang incessantly, to point of nearly waking up your parents, you had to abandon your efforts of finishing the report to tend to the door. Yoongi stood behind a big bouquet of flowers, his cherry coloured hair peeking from the assorted petals. Suddenly feeling self-conscious in your dishevelled appearance, you noted that he must have travelled straight from a taping.

“Yoongi!” You smiled, taken aback. Receiving the flowers off of his arms, he returned your smile, reaching in for a side hug.

“Congratulations on your first day!” He exclaimed, letting himself in. It was all so normal, he would first unlace his shoes and arrange them neatly. Then he would beeline to the front room, eventually sitting at the kitchen table. Your heart was racing all of the sudden, and you hugged the flowers close, the paper and cellophane crinkling beneath your hold.

Under the glow of the overhead lamps, Yoongi wolfed down some of the leftover food while leafing through the documents on the side. He was intently scanning the pages, as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. You arranged your hair, nervous at his presence. He noticed you standing in front of him, awkward in your own home.

“Why are you acting so shy?” He chuckled, turning his attention to you. He looked happy, his dark red hair suited him. He looked particularly handsome.

“Nothing!” You sat in front of him and helped yourself with the cake. The silence settled as you got lost in your thoughts. It wasn’t until you cleared your plate did Yoongi get up to clear the table.

“Oh, don’t worry about that, you should head home, I’m sure your manager is waiting.”

“Actually yeah, I was just gonna leave, Hye-yeon’s waiting downstairs in the car.” He replied softly, turning sheepish. The feeling of dread descended in the pit of your stomach once again. Yoongi always drew his boundaries clearly with everyone he knew, and you were no exception. Holding your tongue to prevent any further questions from seeping through, you smiled at his genuine happiness.

“Go on then, I can’t believe you kept her waiting!” You exclaimed, holding your breath.

Yoongi blushed. Looking up, he noticed that you were squeezing your thumbs in a fist - something you only did due to stress. But as your eyes met, you released your hands from the imaginary tension and busied yourself with stacking the leftover plates. In an attempt to clear the air, your pushed him gently to the door.

“See yourself out - you shouldn’t keep your girlfriend waiting.”

You turned her back swiftly so he wouldn’t see how your features fell despite your cheerful tone. Yoongi was already on his phone sending and with a casual wave, you parted ways.

“See you soon?” You called out as he disappeared into the corridor.

“Yeah - see you!”

You didn’t get many of those surprise visits anymore as Yoongi got busier and busier. So the world carried on as it was, and you worked until you couldn’t feel anything anymore.

-

Yoongi was stood outside your apartment with a paper bag in his right hand. Meanwhile, you stood with cash in hand, ready to pay for the take away you impulsively ordered. Wearing a face mask and dressed mostly in black, he shifted on his feet, not looking at you in the eye.

“Uh, my mother wanted me to give you this since you haven’t visited in a while,” He began, his voice muffled. You still didn’t say anything, your skin prickling with goosebumps. Suddenly, you were hyper aware that you were just dressed in sweatpants that had numerous stains and an over-sized t-shirt that had a frayed collar. That was not intentional, that was an indication of how ratty and old it was. Yoongi was still waiting for your reply, casting sideways glances at the empty corridor. Then you remembered.

“Oh, uh, come in, come in!” You said, turning your body so you could press it against the wall so that he could come through. You bit your lip at the state of your apartment. Printed sheets were scattered on the floor, several glasses of water and mugs of coffee, all sequestered in one corner, by the growing collection of plants you had. Yoongi didn’t take any notice of it at all, setting the paper bag on the counter. He was checking his phone when you noticed a couple of condoms mixed in the transparent container where you stored your tea bags, right next to the toast. The foil packets were painfully stark against the white paper tea bags. Taehyung must have placed them in there. Ease of access. Your apartment as already small, and it’s not like the bedroom was on a separate wing. You remembered Taehyung emptying the box, scattering the condoms around your apartment.

You need one here.

Taehyung, we’re not going to fuck on top of my washing machine.

(You eventually did. It was uncomfortable. Your ass was sore for at least a day.)

What about here?

The balcony? Are you serious?

Fine. Can I put it here?

He was talking about the very tea dispenser that was on the left side of Yoongi, who was still on his phone. Strategically placing yourself behind him, pretending to arrange appliances, you swiped the box and hid it underneath a cupboard. Yoongi pocketed his phone and looked at you, just as you slammed it shut. He had taken his face mask off and chuckled at how flighty you were.

“You didn’t have to come over here, I could have picked it up myself,” You mumbled, hiding your hands behind your back. Yoongi shrugged.

“I had some time after rehab, I don’t mind.”

You found yourself nodding, you noted that he did shrug with both shoulders. So he must be making good progress. Yoongi then reached into the bag and produced a couple of Tupperwares. Rushing to his side, you took it from him so he wouldn’t strain himself. When you stacked them together, you noted that it was mostly home made dishes, the ones you would share with him in high school when you would spend time at his house after school.

“Are you okay?” He suddenly asked. And you froze. You met him in the eye and he was looking at you intently, his dark hair getting in the way of his eyes. He didn’t push it back. You were more dumbfounded that anything. It had been weeks since he found out about your crush and you hadn’t really spoken to each other. And in that time, you were with Taehyung, sleeping together and burying your feelings by fucking. So you never really stopped to think if you were okay. The assumption was that he was asking if you were okay with him rejecting you. And mostly, if you were okay with him coming back in your life, as a friend. Yoongi came back to you as someone you were close to, who would support you in a different capacity since he couldn’t return your romantic feelings. And it was just like Yoongi to ask that, he was still a friend after all. Ultimately, that didn’t mean that he would phase you out of his life. It was unrequited love, not the end of the world. You sighed, you didn’t meant to, but it was pushed from your chest, escaping your lips, long and drawn out. Yoongi was still looking at you.

“Yeah Yoongi, I’m fine,” You answered, somewhat believing it yourself in that moment. He was in your apartment, giving you the food that you both had when you were younger. It was a silent offering, I’m sorry. I’m here. Let’s go back, I can be here for you, if you’d have me again. Yoongi nodded, a small smile creeping up his lips. He took the top Tupperware and set it down, you followed his movements as he took two clean bowls from the drying rack.

“Should we eat?” He offered, already taking a place on one of the chairs. You nod. But before you could settle, you noticed that his car keys had a keychain on. It was the same one that you have gifted him for his birthday last year, and that made you smile. You didn’t know why you thought things would drastically change following him knowing that you liked him, it was nice that he kept something that you gifted. You could still remember how he smiled when he fished it out.

-

2019

Yoongi had managed two free days on his schedule for the week and decided to host a small gathering with the members and couple of friends. Not arriving too late or too early, you found yourself hanging out in the kitchen with Dami, sorting out the food. Yoongi had decided to order food in as it was too much of a hassle to make anything. The plastic containers were all lined up, complete with the various utensils like chopsticks and spoons.

"I can't believe it's been another year!" Dami exclaimed, poking holes in the plastic film. Soon, fresh sashimi was on display for everyone to have a bite on. You were busily arranging the fruit bowls to ensure that everyone had an equal share.

"Yoongi is becoming an old man," You laughed. You fished out your phone to show an edited version of Yoongi, at least 30 years older. It was on Twitter and you saved it as soon as you saw it.

"It would he hilarious to surprise him with that," Dami grinned, arranging the utensils on a big tray. The small paper bag caught your eye as it poked from underneath a table, but it was inconspicuous. Hopefully it would stay hidden as the night went on since you planned to give it to him at some point. Just then, Hye-yeon entered the room with a big red box, presumably containing the cake. Side stepping, you made room so that the spare space on the kitchen island was vacant for her to access. She smiled in thanks and set it down, careful to keep it even.

"I'm so glad I beat the traffic,” Hye-yeon sighed, fixing her hair. You couldn't help how your chest tightened since the desperation to switch places with her amplified.

"Thanks for manning the food for me guys, I had a longer shift at the hospital and couldn't get away," she added, untying the ribbon around the box. You smiled. Dami patted her shoulder affectionately, "Of course!”

As the evening wound down, you found yourself wanting to top up your drink. You wondered if it was time to give him the gift. Slightly unsure of yourself but excusing yourself anyway, you made your way to the kitchen. Once there, you came across Yoongi and Hye-yeon smiling from ear to ear. You realise that she had just given him a gift - and it looked like a fountain pen. Encased in the familiar burgundy box, you had wanted to get him that yourself but it tipped the price point. You instantly felt your efforts pale in comparison. Suddenly, you decided that the custom made keychain that was stuffed in a makeshift bag was not worthy of his attention. Noticing your dumbfounded expression, you schooled yourself and headed straight to where the drinks were, reminding yourself to collect the bag from nearby.

"Come and look at this," Yoongi beamed, eager to share his gift. Glancing at their direction, you raised your eyebrows to feign enthusiasm. Hye-yeon laughed, covering her face in embarrassment, "Stop, it's not even that big of a deal!"

Upon closer inspection, you realise that it had his name engraved in gold lettering. The body of the fountain pen was all black, set on a satin burgundy bed. Yoongi, proud as ever, took it out and popped the lid, revealing a marvellous gold nib. It was impressive and thoughtful. Yup, you were definitely not going to give him your gift.

"That's so pretty!" You offered, observing it as it twirled in between Yoongi's pale fingers. He was grinning so hard that you saw the sides of his eyes crinkle.

"Hyung, I couldn't find the bottle opener, is it here?" Jimin's voice cut through. You saw that he was busily rummaging through the cupboards with a bottle of wine in his hand. You also noticed that he was travelling towards a location that was eventually nearing the bag. Setting the drink down, you walked towards Jimin, attempting to displace his search.

"I know where it is," You replied before Yoongi could even reply. Reaching forwards under the pretence of looking, you swept the bag out of sight and set it on a chair under the table. But Jimin was quick to register. As your eyes met, you felt your face grow warm with heat as you were more or less caught. But as his eyes softened, he relented his search and gave you the opportunity to disclose where the bottle opener was. Luckily it was just lying out in the open and you handed it over to Jimin. Yoongi and Hye-yeon were already making their way out. Sighing with relief, you leaned on the countertop, setting your half empty drink down.

"Was that meant to be for Yoongi-hyung?” Jimin asked, twisting the opener into the firm structure of the cork.

"Yeah," You confessed, defeated. Even though you were sure that it wasn't a shitty present, you wished that you hadn't seen what Hye-yeon had gotten him. Now you felt as if there was no point since it dawned on you that you were both past the age of novelty gifts. Hearing the cork release from the bottle, you looked up only to see Jimin fish the bag from where it was left.

"Jimin, can I have it back?" You sighed, your mood dampening as he taunted you by hanging it on his finger.

"Why don't you give it to him?" He pouted, trying to sneak a peek by opening the bag and poking his finger through the tissue paper. Giving up, you sighed and reached for the wine bottle in his hand and poured some in your glass. When the keychain finally on display, Jimin cooed. You forgot that you also had his name etched on a separate panel. It was a Kumamon bear holding an orange with a speech bubble that said "Kkaep-Jjang!"

"Hyung would love this," he laughed, laying it flat on his palm. When he turned it, he found an engraving at the back that said "I'm the King, I'm the Boss". It was that moment that made Jimin laugh, doubling over and nearly toppling his drink.

“Stop okay,” You chuckled, seeing how its features brought out someone’s sentimentality. Jimin recovered, taking another swig at his drink.

“No but seriously, this is so cute,” He sighed, thumbing the keychain in his hand. Reaching over, you took it from him and attempted to pocket it. Maybe you can use it instead.

“If you don’t end up giving it to him, can I give it instead? My present is great but this adds a personal touch,” Jimin sighed, stepping closer to intercept you. As he caught your wrist, your eyes widened at his sudden movements. Jimin was usually more physical when he was inebriated, and you could confirm that he was probably tipsy at this stage.

“Jimin quit being like this, I’ll use it instead,” You reasoned, firmly detaching yourself from him. He pouted in defeat, his honey coloured hair falling over his eyes. You suddenly felt sad and insecure, which was ridiculous since it was over a harmless present. But you realised that having such inferior feelings over a mere keychain versus a fountain pen only served to highlight that you were acting like a sore loser and helplessly in love with a taken man.

“Hello? Were you even listening?” Jimin interjected, sticking his face near yours. You brought yourself back to reality, pressing your forehead against his in jest. “No,” You confessed, getting back to your drink. Jimin’s brow furrowed, seemingly upset. “What I was saying was that you should just give it to him, no need to feel insecure, each gift has value.”

Gritting your teeth, you hated how transparent you were at the worst of times. Just then, Taehyung entered the kitchen with Dami. Eyeing how you and Jimin’s heads were lowered and staring into each other’s eyes, Taehyung cleared his throat to signal his presence.

“We were sent to get the cake,” He replied gruffly, staring at you a little longer than expected. Dami’s expression was stony, far contrast to her smiling face earlier. You wondered what had happened.

“Is it time for the singing?” Jimin gasped, setting the bottle and his drink down. You pulled back and shoved the keychain further down your back pocket. Sounds of clutter began as Taehyung desperately searched for the candles, Jimin had already left the kitchen to join in on the fun. Left with nothing to do, you made a move to follow him.

“You should give whatever you got for him, he’d like it all the same,” Taehyung said right before you exited. You looked up, the heat rising to your face as you realised he heard more than you wanted him to.

“It’s okay,” You confess, skin prickling at the thought of Yoongi opening it and giving you that sympathetic smile. Taehyung found the candles and placed them gingerly on top of the cake. You watched as his hair fell over his eyes, he looked good in casual wear. He said nothing more and you followed him outside.

When most of the guests had left, it was just you, Hye-yeon, Jimin, and Yoongi left, clearing up the place. You didn’t have anything on for work, so you stayed. Jimin was in the kitchen for far too long, all you had asked him to get a black bin bag. But when he emerged, he had that and the bag where you had your gift. Lunging forward, you tried to snatch it from Jimin, who dodged you expertly. You glared at him, You are so dead. Instead, Jimin winked at you. Yoongi looked up as he stacked the plates.

“Hyung, you have one more present!” Jimin announced, crossing the distance between him and Yoongi, and placed the paper bag directly in his hand. Yoongi looked at you and realised that you got him the gift. He smiled and reached in, taking it out. Your ears burned as you busied yourself in packing the spare confetti. You heard him laugh, like his genuinely laugh. Then, his arm was around your shoulders, squeezing you.

“Thank you, I love it.”

Jimin smirked at you, wiggling his eyebrows as you found yourself smiling.

-

It was Taehyung’s birthday and he woke up alone. For the past three years, Dami would wake up early and come into the room with what she called a ‘Birthday Breakfast Muffin.’ And it would be a simple one - blueberry flavoured. Then, she would set it down by the bedside table to wake him first by lifting the duvet up slightly, so the cold air won’t startle him. When he felt her body lie close to him, he would immediately unfurl from his sleeping position and wrapped her in his arms, till he could squeeze giggles out her. Dami would always kiss his cheek and lift herself off to present him the muffin, and he would act like it was the first time he’d seen it. And Dami would kiss him, between mouthfuls of blueberry crumbs, singing Happy Birthday softly against his lips. Then, before he had to go, they would have a proper breakfast together and in the evening, drink their favourite wine and slow dance in the living room.

Now, his room was quiet and there was nothing on the bedside table. No one had lifted the duvet carefully and he had woken up still in the same position he was in - curled up, with a pillow between his legs and arms. The screen on his phone was alight as messages flooded through, casting a white glow against the wall. Sighing, he picked it up, thumbing down the notifications. He didn’t want to reply but he had to out of courtesy. As he spent time checking each message, some from the members, some from other industry friends, he saw yours.

You [5:46AM] Happy Birthday :P

He smiled at that. It had been a couple of weeks since you had last spoken (and fucked) and he wasn’t sure if he had missed you or just missed someone to hold. Their schedule was particularly packed towards the end of the year anyway and he threw himself into it, not wanting to be idle. Double tapping on your message to like it, he carried on replying for most of the morning, with his phone attached to the charger.

When Taehyung was the van on the way to the agency for his birthday broadcast, he wondered whether he viewed his relationship with Dami with rose-tinted glasses on. Whether he conflated getting comfortable with contentment. He wracked his brain for the moments where Dami was pulling away and if there was a time, why didn’t he notice?

As the van shuddered due to a speed hump, he was brought back to reality. Through the dark tint of the windows, he saw the agency and then they approached the basement parking. Sighing, he pushed his glasses up his nose and cleared his throat. He needed to focus and speak live for at least an hour, so he abandoned any thoughts or opportunity for retrospection. It would eventually give him a headache anyway.

-

It was mid-January already and it was nearing 7pm. You were close in finalising the project that you had been working on for the past three weeks. You didn't bother to turn the lights on, letting the blue glow of the laptop spur you into hyper focus. Suddenly, you hear your front door open. Taehyung. Hands flying to switch the nearby floor lamp on, you didn’t want to appear as a hermit. Light flooded the living room just as he appeared. Dressed in grey sweats, he carried a paper bag and carried a navy holdall. Placing his face mask and beanie on the counter, he watched you to look for signs of a meeting. You realise that you were still wearing your work clothes despite sitting crossed legged on the floor, hunched over the small screen for god knows how long.

"I'll just be 5 more minutes," you informed him, turning your attention back to the document. He smiles, producing a cheesecake and two cans of beer.

"I'll put these in the fridge, they've been stewing in the car," he sighed. You nod, not really caring. Silence passed, you typed the last few corrections, your eyes stung from the tiredness. You noticed that Taehyung was taking a little too long, rummaging through your fridge.

"You're wasting my electricity," You grumbled, logging out of the online portal. He ignored you, digging a white box that you've shoved in the back. Eyes widening, you scramble to stand up, running towards him to prevent him from opening it. The box was decorative and came from his favourite patisserie.

"Taehyung, put it back," you protest, trying (and failing) to snatch it away from his grasp. It didn't help that he raised it from your reach as he towered over you.

"What's this?" He queried, looking up at the base of the box.

"Taehyung please!" You pleaded, jumping up in desperation. But he leaned back till his back his the counter. He laughed as you jumped up again. The box was still well out of your reach. Giving up, you sighed deeply and stood back, crossing your arms over your chest. He waited for you to lunge at him but you retreated, going back to your laptop instead. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw that he set it down near the paper bag he brought. Heat rose to your face as you waited for his reaction. Taehyung opened the box and was met with an array of macarons. All different colours, he noticed that letters were on them, painted with chocolate. But some were already missing. Not entirely your fault. You hadn’t seen each other for a while and you didn’t want to waste your money, so you ate them gradually as you worked.

Appy irthday Ehyung!

On the bottom row, there were illustrations of Yeontan walking in profile. The remaining macarons had paw prints on them. He looked up at you and found you frantically shuffling some papers to appear distracted. Maybe if I don’t look him in the eye, he’d just drop it. You thought, banking on Taehyung’s emotional intelligence.

"For me?" He asked coyly, picking the 'A' macaron and biting into it. You carried on shuffling papers and shoving them into a folder. If you could summon a giant black hole to open up, you would. He called your name, moving to sit next to you with the box in his hand. When the collection of macarons appeared in your view, you groaned in embarrassment. You wanted to bury yourself alive. Taheyung's arm slid on your shoulder as your face heated up from being found out.

"I think this is really sweet," he said, picking a macaron and offering it to you. It was pink with a paw print on it.

"No it's not Taehyung, it's weird. I shouldn't have gotten it," You sigh, biting into it. But he squeezed you closer to him.

"Well, it was for my birthday, and I think it's sweet," he repeated, finishing the macaron. Reaching for the TV remote, you switched the channel to the news.

“Is all you watch the news?” He asked, snatching the remote away from you. The screen swiftly changed to a variety show, which was probably a re-run.

“It gets me knowing what’s going on, sometimes the newspapers take too much time,” You answered, pulling your legs towards you and tucking your knees under your chin. You felt his gaze next to you.

“You know, you’re so young, but you’ve done so much,” He mutters, totally out of the blue. He reached for a pink macaron with Yeontan on it. But before he bit into it, he took his phone out to take a picture first. That made you smile.

“I guess…” You offered, paying attention to the game on the screen. Both teams had to score a point for water polo. Needless to say, they were struggling all the same.

“I mean, you’ve accomplished so many things too, you’re literally part of the world’s biggest boyband right now,” You add, actually interested in the game.

“It’s not all that.” He sighed, finishing the macaron in one swift bite.

“Well, I’d rather be depressed with $40 million in my account than depressed with $3.” You replied distractedly, seeing another email on your laptop screen. Taehyung found it in himself to laugh at how blunt you were. Dami was always understanding and consoling him for everything that bothered him, whereas you couldn’t be bothered to entertain any sort of that. Which is why he thought you and Yoongi would be a good fit.

“Yoongi-hyung said something similar to me when he and I went drinking,” Taehyung reminisced. Your ears perked up, somewhat curious that you had similar views.

“I was talking about how it’s so much pressure to be an idol and he just shrugged, said something like that, and then he told me that it’s better to be busy than idle. And anyway, we’ve gained more than we lost, I think.”

It was your turn to laugh. That was just like Yoongi to say something like that. The other team on the TV won, and the sound of chaotic cheers filled your living room. Taehyung’s hand closed over yours, his thumb brushing your knuckles.

“Now?”

“Mmhm,” He hummed, already leaning towards you. The sweet taste of macarons greeted your lips, then his tongue grazed yours. The taste of macarons lingered on your tongue. You moan, hands suddenly scrambling to remove his shirt, he gasped as your cold hands came into contact with his back.

“Sorry,” You said in between moans as his hands hurriedly unbuttoned your blouse. Careful not to tear it open (like last time), he flung it to the far side of the room. Then came the zip of your trousers, you shed them from your legs, spreading your thighs as you reclined beneath him. He pressed himself against your throbbing core, rapidly becoming wet just from kissing. I mean, it has been, what? Weeks?

“Better in the bedroom,” He muttered, lips on your neck. You nod, clawing at his back, hips grinding against him, earning a deep groan against your ears. Getting up was easy, but not when his arm locked around your waist as he stepped out of his own sweats, using you for balance. You laughed as his toes got caught in the fray.

“Shut up,” he mumbled, slipping out of his hoodie and shirt. Both in your underwear, you stepped over the mess on the floor and made a beeline for the bedroom. You silently pat yourself on the back for remembering to wash the bedsheets. As your back hit the bed, the smell of freshly laundered sheets greeted you. Taehyung leaned over you, kissing your nose as he hooked his thumbs over your underwear. Teasingly slow, you watched as the black fabric left your body, revealing your soaked folds. Eyes trained on your wet cunt, Taehyung removed his underwear, cock springing free. You moaned as pre-cum covered the head of his cock. Scrambling to get the condom on your side table, he chuckled at how on the ball you were.

“Shut up,” You mirrored him, finally finding it. Swiftly, you handed it to him and watched with bated breath as he slipped it on. When the head of his cock teased you core, you adjusted yourself, hips coming down. Your hand grasped him and he groaned at your impatience. Not wanting to waste anymore time, you ground your hips, feeling his cock become coated with your arousal, yet still he held back.

“Fuck hold on,” he moaned as you took his fingers in your mouth, coating it with your saliva, using all available devices at your disposal. As his fingers left your mouth, you noticed that his other hand was placed on your shoulder, perhaps to brace himself. In that moment, you were aware that his thumb was unconsciously caressing the base of your neck. Your cunt clenched immediately. Taehyung jerked suddenly, your walls tightening around him even more. Your eyes met briefly, everything felt so hot.

"Choke me." You blurted out, it was instinctive, you rolled your hips to spur him on. Taehyung's eyes widened, only for a split second but you caught it. For the first time, he was hesitating. Silence continued and your walls throbbed around his cock. You inhaled sharply, aware that you couldn't let the moment pass.

"Taheyung," you gasped, moaning as he let you grind yourself against him, enveloping his cock in your folds.

"Are you sure? I've never done this before," he said, voice oddly calm. But you felt his hand begin to press the side of your neck, it was subtle but your pulse was beating steadily against his skin. You found yourself nodding, pushing yourself closer against him, back arching slightly, taking his cock even deeper. A small moan escaped your lips, hoping to coax him. The air became rarified with the anticipation that emanated from you both.

"I trust you," you reassured him, remaining still and waiting for him. With your eyes locked onto his, you gauged him, his bottom lip was tucked under his teeth. Something flitted across his eyes and then you felt his hand move across your neck, your breath hitched. He stopped suddenly, the pressure leaving your neck and soon as it arrived.

"No, keep going," you said, trying to keep the panic in your voice at bay. But you saw that he was chuckling, eyes darkening suddenly.

"No, I just, I never thought you'd be into this," he smirked. Heat floods your face.

"Hey I'm not a prude," you shot back, returning his gaze defiantly.

"Now get on with it," you demanded, spreading your thighs and proceeding to undulate your hips. Taehyung groaned, remembering that he was still sheathed inside of you, aware that your walls were throbbing in protest. Finally, his hand enclosed over your neck, you felt the pressure again, and a jolt of pleasure ran along your body. You shiver involuntarily, moaning as he also began to move his hips.

“Tell me if you’re uncomfortable and I’ll stop, okay?” Taheyung panted, firmly planting his his other hand beside your head. Nodding as best you could, your breath hitched as he slammed his hips onto yours, the hand on your neck keeping a steady pressure. With your eyes fluttering shut, you sighed as your clit finally got the attention it needed. Lost in the depths of pleasure, you heard him say your name, a deep rasp that pierced any sense of logic you had left. It wasn't something that you could respond to anyway, as your voice garbled nonsense, words melting into mewls. He called your name again. This time, you opened your eyes, tongue wetting your lips as he pushed himself inside you.

"F-fuck, Taehyung, harder," you moaned, you couldn't contain it. Looking up at him, you knew that he was hesitating in putting more pressure. He knew you were pleading for his hand to put more weight on you. Seeing that his jaw was clenched, his groans mixing into grunts as he rutted into you, pressing you further up the mattress. Your arms raised themselves above your head, pushing against the headboard to brace yourself. Taehyung groaned at the sight, you knew that he liked you spread before him, your tits bouncing each time his hips slammed against yours. You were so wet that you were practically dripping around him and onto the sheets.

"You sure?" He asked, voice strained.

"Yes!" You gasped, eyes rolling in the back of your head as your arched up, pressing your entire self against him. Then, his hand added more weight, closing on your neck even more. A choked cry escaped your lips as they parted.

"Shit," he groaned, momentarily thrown off as he snapped his hips in response as your cunt clenched around him. You whined as the sensations began to overwhelm you, barely able to register anything as your voice was reduced to gasps. Taehyung wasn't faring either, teeth cutting his lower lip, biting so hard that it became a violent shade of dark pink.

"Keep going, don't stop, fuck," you gasped, arms straining from the force of his thrusts. Still, the fact that Taehyung's hand was on your neck only served to elevate your pleasure, causing you to leak more. He never wavered, thrusting into you rapidly. As your body began to be jostled, bouncing on the mattress from the force, his hold on your neck restricted you, taking the air that you sought. His groans and your cries coincided with the repeated slaps of skin on skin, the slick noises of your wet cunt enclosing on his cock.

"Fuck, I'm not gonna last," Taehyung groaned, his hand on your neck pressing tighter. Delighted in how he was taking the role, you bit your lip not caring if he finished first. It was euphoric, to have him believe that you trusted him and that he was doing what you asked. That thought alone was enough to send you over the edge.

"Just cum," You moaned, hands leaving the headboard to cup your breasts, pinching your nipples. You didn’t care that you were being pushed up, so much so that you body was practically leaning on the headboard, your body basically bent in half. Taehyung grunted in response, then elicited a gasp as his thrusts become sloppier by the second. Everything was so hot and wet, his grip on your throat tightening further.

"Fuck, fuck, you're so fucking good," he moaned, his voice deep and clear. You relish in being able to give him pleasure, moaning even more as you closed your eyes and succumbed to his touch. With a final slam of his hips, he came with fervour, filling the condom, spilling his hot cum inside. With his hand still on your neck you whined as your swollen clit was suddenly neglected, his thrusts slowing down. But before you could protest, Taehyung had mustered the strength to continue thrusting into you.

"T-taehyung, ah, fuck,” you cried, hands flying to his forearm as he continued to choke you. Your fingers dug into his skin, small red crescents forming in their wake.

"Cum for me," he demanded not caring about the sting on his arm, eyes alight with determination. In that moment, you let go, orgasm ripping through you in a violent way, that combined with the lack of air caused you to get lightheaded as your cries were reduced to silence. White light clouded your vision and your body shuddered as it tried to cope with all the sensations that assaulted it. Taehyung's lips found your nipple, tugging it even more. You swore you were ascending as he coasted you through your orgasm, Fuck, yes, yes! You managed, your entire body singing from pleasure and pain. As he slowed his thrusts, you steadied your breath, his hands left your neck and body as he leaned back to slip outside of you. The emptiness made you groan as your walls throbbed around nothing. Taehyung leaned forward to plant a chaste kiss on your lips before rolling next to you, completely spent. After some time, you both relaxed onto the bed, somewhat sleepy.

"Can I stay for a bit?" Taehyung muttered, already drifting. You didn't answer. Instead, you turned to him and slotted yourself against his body, your head against his neck. He used his arm to pull you closer, tucking you head underneath his chin.

-

The clock read 3.47AM. It was dark and you were tangled in each other's embrace. You had accidentally woken him up when you tried to go to the bathroom since your skin was sticky as your arousal was drying between your legs, on your chest, your lips. Now, Taehyung's arm was underneath your head, his other hand took yours to outstretch it to the ceiling. You weren't sure what the purpose of that was since your arm was shorter than his, so his elbow ended up at an angle. Still, you played along, rocking your palm against his.

“I can’t sleep. I keep thinking about the time where I messed up during a conference." He confessed. Chuckling at himself as he remembered it. He was opening up more, usually it's after sex. It didn't bother you before but you did notice that cuddling was new.

"I was asked to describe the genre for one of the tracks, and I said something like disco pop poking ballad acoustic guitar sound," he outwardly cringed, folding into you. You laugh at his hair, untangling your fingers from his to hug him, he squeezed you back. You knew what he was talking about, the press conference for their BE album. But you couldn’t remember which song.

"Can I ask what track?"

He starts laughing harder, his deep voice melodic, and he nuzzled more into the crook of your neck. You hug him tighter, your heart swelling at his display of affection.

"Blue and Grey." With that knowledge you actually laughed, fanning his hair with your breath. Taehyung pressed himself onto you, arms circling your waist.

"I know," he grumbled, deep voice reverberating against your skin. He pulled away, placing some distance between you, so you rested your head on the pillow as his arm slipped away. You schooled yourself as you automatically missed his embrace.

"I always get nerves during press conferences, now it's gonna add to the view that I'm from another planet," he sighed. He was looking up at your ceiling again, profile in view. It was hard to tell whether his eyes were closed or not since his fringe was in the way. Yet your hand remained by your side despite its protest of brushing it away.

"Well, I like you just the way you are," you mused. The silence that followed signalled that what you said may have been inappropriate. You had to remind yourself that you were just having sex. What you said seemed like a tentative statement, a hint that you wanted more as you reassured him. But it was unavoidable at this point, it came so natural to you. You waited, unaware that you were holding your breath. All that came was a small scoff from Taehyung, he brought his hands to his face, bracelets jostling together on his wrist. Guessing that he was still reeling from embarrassment, you trusted that he would gloss over what you said. Your face filled with heat as you prepared to turn over.

"Well, I should get going. Early shoot tomorrow." He sat up suddenly, threading his fingers through his hair. He was already reaching for his clothes. A small sliver of disappointment wrapped itself over you, your skin prickled with goosebumps.

"Sure. Drive safe." You said, turning over and pulling the duvet further up your shoulder.

"Thanks."

-

Well, I like you just the way you are.

It wasn't new. He had heard it more than a thousand times since he started his career, whether it was from his parents, the members, fans. So why did it feel different this time? Taehyung drove the car out of the parking lot, climbing the cemented hill to join the main road. Despite nearing midnight, various cars were still on the road. He drove in silence.

But in that silence, he remembered you. The small sighs you would make. How your bodies seemed to slot into each other perfectly nowadays. The snippets of encouragement that didn’t come often but it was enough for him to notice. Clenching his jaw, he realised that what was happening between you guys was toeing the line. A shrill ring brought him out of his thoughts - Dami. Her name flashed on the screen of his car. He ignored it, driving forward as the light turned green.

previously.

this is so cute i crie

Hug-o-gram | Yoongi

→ summary: 

“This is probably the dumbest idea you’ve ever had,” Yoongi hisses, but it’s kind of hard for Seokjin to take him seriously when he’s wearing a cardboard sign around his neck that says ‘Huggie Wuggie Machine!’ in bubble font. 

“Like, even worse than when we DIY’d your car into a convertible by sawing the top off?” Seokjin asks, genuinely curious. 

“Worse,” Yoongi admits, trying his best to stay out of your line of sight. His cheeks redden, matching the gaudy pink kitten ears he was forced into wearing.

{or alternatively: Seokjin is a terrible wingman. He also runs a profitable business by sending hugs to people’s crushes for a fee. Mix them together and you have a recipe for Min Yoongi’s worst nightmare.}

→ genre: college!au, hugging booth!au, fluff, humor → warnings: yoongi is so smitten that he’s a walking disaster, so much shy!yoongi to the point where you’ll want to scream, seokjin just tryna get his homie some y/n love coochie bro ;o; → words: 13.3K → a/n: another commission by the lovely @jincherie​ because she’s epic like that!! she literally just told me to write whatever the hell i wanted and well… yoobie got me Good… anyway here’s more yoongi fluff bc apparently i’m a fluff writer now and sometimes i just want my boy to be happy… appa yip yip

Kim Seokjin makes a lot of good decisions. He also makes plenty of bad ones, but he likes to think the score is lying heavily towards the positives. Min Yoongi will be the first one to quickly disagree, but Seokjin doesn’t let it get to him. He doesn’t make it his business to listen to opinions that don’t immediately align with his, anyway; he likes to call it “selective hearing.” Yoongi calls it stupidity. Either way, the point still stands: Seokjin knows a good idea when he sees one. Case in point:

“This automatic popcorn machine is absolutely divine,” Seokjin moans, his mouth agape as he waits for the Mister Popcorn Robot to bestow him with another morsel of goodness.

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