House Vines

What’s heavier?

Gryffindor: Got a question for you. What’s heavier? A kilogram of steel? Or a kilogram of feathers?

Time ticks

Gryffindor: That’s right. It’s a kilogram of steel. Because steel is heavier than feathers.

Gryffindor’s Show!

Gryffindor: What do you mean?

Slytherin: They’re both a kilogram.

Gryffindor: But steel is heavier than feathers...

Slytherin: Heh. I know, but they’re both a kilogram.

Gryffindor:...Wha?

Gryffindor’s Show!

A scale holding both a kilogram of feathers and steel stands before gryffindor. The scale is balanced.

Gryffindor: That doesn’t prove anything, because steel is heavier than feathers.

Hufflepuff: I know, but look. They’re both a kilogram. Right? So they’re the same.

Gryffindor: Ok, but look at the size of this. *points to the huge bag of feathers* That’s cheating!

Slytherin: *laughs* No, they’re the same weight!

Hufflepuff: *also laughing* it’s a kilogram!

Gryffindor: But steels heavier than feathers...

Gryffindor’s Show!

Ravenclaw examining the scale.

Ravenclaw: They’re both a kilogram.

Gryffindor: Oh no...oh, no, you, ah...no...

Hufflepuff: You alright?

Gryffindor: *sadly* I don’t get it.

Slytherin: Sorry...

Ravenclaw: Yeah...Don’t worry about it!

House Vines

Gryffindor: *plays flute*

Hufflepuff: Look! It’s a snake charmer!

Gryffindor: Ey yo snake!

Slytherin: *pauses and whips around*

Gryffindor: You cute as hell.

Slytherin: *blushes* Ssssstop.

House Shenanigans

Gryffindor: *stands .0001 millimeters outside of Slytherin common room entryway*

Slytherin: *looks up from couch* Get out of my room!

Gryffindor: *smiles smugly* I’m not in your room~

Slytherin:

Gryffindor:

Slytherin: Do you have a death wish?

House shenanigans

Hufflepuff: holding a large box What would you say if I came home with four puppies?

Ravenclaw: lowers book slowly

Ravenclaw: Hufflepuff, What’s in the box?

Hufflepuff:

Hufflepuff: I think you already know.

House shenanigans

Gryffindor: *kicks the “G” off of the “Graveyard” sign* Yeah, Let’s get this party started!

Ravenclaw and Slytherin: Wow.

House shenanigans

Gryffindor: unbuttoning shirt God it’s so hot in here!

Hufflepuff: Yeah...But, why are you unbuttoning my shirt?

House Vines

Slytherin: I should’ve left you on that street corner where you were standing.

Gryfindor: *intense pause*

Gryfindor: But ch’ya didnt!

House Vines

Hufflepuff: I eat Cheerios because they’re heart healthy...and my heart is severely damaged.

Hufflepuff:...

Hufflepuff: So Slytherin if you’re out there-

House Vines

Hufflepuff: I spilt lipstick in your Valentino bag.

Slytherin: Oh! You spill-WaWAwAWa-LIPSTICK In mY VaLeNtInO WHITE bAg!!

House Vines

Gryffindors mother: Well Professor Mcgonagall, my daughter would not do something such a thing therefore after.

Gryffindor mother: *whispering harshly to Gryffindor* Gryffindor did you fucking do that thing therefore after?