Wish I Was A Teddy Bear Wearing A Raincoat Or Some Shit What The Fuck

You should be able to say “don’t touch me” to anyone ever in any context and not have it be considered in the realm of surprising or insulting imho if we ever needed to normalize something it’s this

For any writers who want to have woodland settings and woodland creatures but don’t have much experience in forests (particularly at night):

Deer are not as magestic as you think most of the time. They’re kind of derpy and will stare you down for uncomfortably long amounts of time mainly because they can’t decide which way they want to run. They end up running in circles anyways

Deer also blow air at threats as they run away, which sounds kind of like an out of breath scream. Do with this what you want

Squirrels don’t care who or what you are, they will bark at you from the trees. This is also a startling sound for someone who doesn’t know what the screeching above them is

Squirrels are also not quiet runners. If the forest has leaves on the ground and you hear what seems like the thunderous approach of some giant best, 8/10 times it’s a squirrel

If said sound is not a squirrel, it is likely an armadillo (if this forest is in the southern US/upper South America. Idk where else they are)

Armadillos make a lot of noise when walking through leaves and look funny, but they’re really kind of harmless and just don’t know where they are most of the time (very blind, not fast, but polite and waddle away if someone screams because of them. I would know, I was there when I saw this happen.)

Coyotes scream. It’s terrifying. Sounds like murder. It means they likely aren’t interested in you though (unless it’s in your ear)

Coyotes are kind of small, think a step down from a lab. Wolves however are a LOT bigger than you probably think

Hogs don’t care who you are or what you’re doing. They’re charging. They go for the knees and then tear you apart when your down so I hear. For anyone scared of the coyote screams, I’m here to tell you this is a MUCH bigger threat

Everything’s awake at night, but it’s not too terrible to walk if you have enough moonlight and a fairly good idea of where you’re going. 9/10 times if you stomp through, animals will leave you alone (the exception being squirrels which still scream as though they didn’t hear you coming)

Turkeys can attack, but brobably wont. Just give them their space or scream and you’re good.

Turkey’s also travel in groups most of the time, only really separating around mating season, so it’s pretty common to have a line of birds just walts by loudly

Raccoons are cool, but will not tolerate invasions of privacy. Don’t try to get close to their trees and you’re good

Same goes for possums. Possums are still a bit more chill than people give them credit for though, and will not attack unless it’s their only option (they hiss or play dead)

The only time to be worried about scurrying or footsteps behind you is if you hear a large branch break. That’s the 2/10 that isn’t a squirrel. Still, it’s most likely a deer so don’t worry too much

Let me know if there’s anything else you want to know about and I’ll see if I know anything that could help!

Omg what was I doing last night (●__●)

I'm so gay for Regina georgd and also high

im cooking

Undo the Damage of Sitting

Dads love having undiagnosed autism

'Moonrise'. Guillermo Gomez Gil. 1906.

If it sounds like the composer is trying to blast you with the orchestra until you're as deaf as he is, it's Beethoven.

If it sounds like the composer might be a vampire, it's Bach.

If it sounds like the composer is trying to set the violins on fire, it's Vivaldi.