There's Gonna Be Smth Special In The Eggs This Year Ganggggggg

"This is the story of how I died"

Thought my gf cheated on me again so I messed around with her gay brother, but it turns out it really *was* just her cousin that she was spending time with, so now I’m kinda feeling guilty and confused

Is this how a priest in a confessional booth feels… ten hail marys

Joking about suicide indicates a lack of belief in human dignity and the intrinsic worth of all persons.

That's it.

About a week ago I posted this.

I’ve been getting horrible messages like this in my ask for months, including:

and my personal favorite

After getting the message saying “Just go kill yourself” I was completely done dealing with this person’s horrible messages and replied with just an “Okay.” and logged off tumblr.

About a week later I logged back on with 17 messages in my ask, most of them from the anon. I scrolled down and at first when I logged off, the anon messaged me things like

I scrolled up more and all of a sudden they started sending me more and more messages like

This was extremely surprising to me. I thought “After all those horrible messages you sent to me for MONTHS about hating me and wanting me dead, you say ‘sorry’ and that you ‘cant be responsible for someone’s suicide’?”

But I guess the lesson goes like this:

DONT TELL ANYONE TO KILL THEMSELVES UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED FOR WHAT MIGHT ACTUALLY HAPPEN

Honorable mentions:

- A cliffside at sunset, after being dragged there by the aforementioned lover/best friend/homoerotic comrade.

- In an alleyway just outside the backdoor of a club.

- Underwater, so that all anyone sees is a developing cloud of red that announces your demise.

- A bed with white sheets.

top 3 places to bleed out:

1. the snow

2. your lover/best friend/homoerotic comrade’s arms

3. bathroom floor

Apologize to the worm. Now.

“A collection of common glyphs of the poorly understood Memeorite civilization of the Second Silicon Age. Memeorite glyphs possess multiple conflicting interpretations and a complexity of meaning impossible to capture in a few short words. These are rough translations only.”

Source: https://twitter.com/beach_fox/status/1325668490431246336 (which include more “memeorite glyphs”

We can still run the rich guys out of Rome before it falls.

okay istg if one of you does #america on my posts again im biting.

JULIUS CAESAR is NOT like trump! Julius caesar got stabbed by rich guys for supporting the people, regular people fucking loved julius. The guys that killed caesar were run out of Rome! because everyone was so mad about it! and trump just fucking sucks.

also im not american.

Life could be a dream

unbelievable find just now

Smeagol

tolkien really messed up in not giving frodo a cat. frodo is such a ‘has a cat sleeping by the fire’ type person. cat to patrol the pantries for mice. she would stay with the gaffer when he went off on the quest. and would purr against his shoulder when he came back. some name like lacey or buttercup. an old cat he got a few years into living alone. she’d sit by the door waiting every day until he got home. hated saruman and hissed every time she saw him. frodo would hold her even more after his return, trying to remember who he was before. frodo deserved a cat

Gwaihir uses the ring's invisibility and just becomes the wind, putting Manwë out of a job. Then, of course, Manwë would be furious at Mithrandir for giving the ring to the eagles and fires him.

I know that the nitpicking over why the Fellowship didn’t just ride the eagles to fly directly to Mordor has been talked to death, there’s more than enough answers. The Doylist answer is that would stop the whole book from existing, or replace it with a wholly different book all about eagles. The Watsonian answer is that a) the eagles are a noble independent people not a taxi service, b) the quest is a stealth mission and huge massive giant eagles are not stealthy, c) Mordor has air supremacy and the eagles could only fly to Mount Doom after Sauron was defeated and the Nazguls all gone.

But just now, option d) occurred to me: do we really trust the eagles to withstand the ring? If it tempts Gandalf and Galadriel, surely it tempts Gwaihir the Windlord. Do we want to create the Dread Lord of the Skies? He would wear the Ring on his lovely sharp claw! He would fly higher and swifter than the winds of the world! He would build a magnificent nest from the broken timbers of Edoras! He would eat so many people! All elves and men would be forced underground!

Hand me a hand