I Finally Finished Cutting Off Everyone Who Made Me Worse. All Of Them. Including D.

if it helps, my shoulder blades hurt like shit. the wings get so heavy with guilt, they really do.

what do you do when they wont go away? they've never lasted this long or hurt this bad...

So… I didn’t eat again today. I know I said I would but I genuinely didn’t have time this morning and I’m out of money to buy lunch.

I’ll eat something at dinner time I promise

God at this rate I’m gonna be more malnourished then that glowing russian twink/ref

"Goodnight bro, see you tomorrow"

He doesn't understand how much I needed to hear that, to know that he's going to spend time with me willingly. Sometimes it feels like people only talk to me because I initiate, but hearing those simple 5 words made everything feel okay. I feel like I'm back in 8th grade, making plans to go over and hang out in his backyard I feel like I'm free from all my troubles that came later. I'm free from the changes that I never wanted to make and were forced on me by... some bad people.

I feel like the person I want to be again. I feel like I am who I should be and who I would have been if not for all the shit I've went through.

I hope this feeling stays around for a while.

I hope he says those words again tomorrow. "Goodnight bro. See you tomorrow" Goodnight, bro.

I'll be here, enjoying the feelings those words gave me. It will be a good night.

first vent post/introduction i guess?

So, first things first. I'm Ticking Time Bomb, which originates from my first interaction here, about me being an explosive landmine. I'm not a great person but I'm trying to get better.

I have a bunch of things fucked up with my life.

I kinda messed up some stuff with someone I consider my best friend.

My life is on a rapid decline, but i've pulled it up from rock bottom before.

"Good morning bro"

I was about to break down. Thanks.

Good morning bro.

Every time I feel like crying he shows up. We rarely talk about our problems, but we both understand that we both have them.

We have mutual respect for waiting until we're ready to bring it up.

I wonder if he's going through the same things.

...We're both too good at masking, because we're the ones who taught each other how.

I'm oddly calm for all the things rushing through my mind.

I guess talking life through with my brother helps.

Not my real brother, of course.

But I consider him family.

I will fix myself this time. This is the last chance I'll give myself. I promise you won't be disappointed. The last thing I'd want would be to let you down now.

don’t feel too bad. at least i can flex my invulnerability to having my arm twisted like a motorcycle handlebar

im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im srry

hii :D what are you up to?!

nothing really right now!

I was about to go and bed rot because I have nothing else to do but I think I'll exercise before that :D

I can do better to stay out of sight. Would that be good?

Even they told me “You are just naturally good at disappearing”

I can do that again. I can disappear.