Bruce, Who Has A Problem Expressing Emotions Because He Was Teased For Them In School As The "crazy Wayne

batbrothers

Bruce trying to shove talk his in law

Bruce: *opens his mouth*

Wally: *zooms away*

———————

Bruce: *long spiel*

Bruce: ...And that's why if either of you hurt him, I'll make sure you stay dead this time.

Roy: *takes out one earbud*

Roy, to Artemis: Did you hear something?

Artemis, watching TV: *shrugs*

———————

Kory: I've come to seek your blessing to ask Barbara out.

Bruce: Sure.

Kory: That's it? Isn't there a ritual bat-talk you undergo with all of your children's lovers?

Bruce: Barbara can handle it herself.

———————

Bruce: If any of you make Tim sad for even a SECOND, I will take everything you have.

Bernard, a college student: *hands him a dollar*

Kon, a farmer: *empties a pocket of dirt*

Bart, a Bart: *spits out a pizza crust*

———————

Steph and Cass: *enter holding hands*

Bruce: It's too early for this.

Steph: It's three PM.

———————

Bruce: Thank you for the intel, Detective Montoya. Now about you and my cousin—

Renee: Hold on, I'm getting a call.

Renee: *answers the phone and walks away*

———————

Bruce: You must be Duke's girlfriend.

Izzy: Yeah, I am. Got a problem with that, nepo baby?

Bruce: ...You may proceed.

———————

Jon: Hiya, Mr. Wayne! I'm here for me and Dami's playdate.

Bruce: Did you say playDATE?

———————

Bruce: He may seem tough, but on the inside he's a little boy who's been hurt too many times.

Selina: Is this really necessary?

Bruce: Promise me you'll take care of that little boy!

Selina: Okay, okay, yeesh.

———————

Bruce: YOU BREAK HIS HEART AND YOU'LL REGRET IT, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?

Alfred: Master Bruce, I think you misinterpreted what I meant by I love scones.

I know it was probably said like a million times since the movie came out, but my favourite detail in the whole movie is in the DNA numbers with Red Hood's 635 being the issue number when he appears under that name while Jason's 428 is for the issue in which he dies

ah yes, it's another thing that runs in the family

Damian, to Tim: I feel it is only right to tell you I am pursuing the kent boy.

Damian, nervously: ...and the batson boy.

Tim: Cool, I'm glad they make you happy.

Damian: what? why aren't you shocked!?

Tim: why would I be?

Damian: I'm courting two people at once!

Tim: so? They know about each other, right?

Damian: well, yes, but-

Tim: then that'd be kinda hypocritical, don't you think? With me dating Kon and Bernard and all-

Damian: you are.

Damian: what.

Tim: yes??? You knew this??

Damian, alarmed: I most certainly did not!

Tim: Damian, everyone in this family is poly, It'd be weirder if you were monogamous.

Damian: that can't be right, what about Todd?

Tim: Roy and Starfire.

Damian: Brown and Cain are monogamous-

Tim: with the way they keep chatting up the new intern at Wayne Tech? Please.

Damian: Thomas isn't in a relationship.

Tim: still poly.

Damian: Richard??

Tim: literally married to Wally and Babs, you were at the weddings, Damian? what the fuck??

Damian: Father-

Tim: is dating half the justice league, three villains and your mother, Damian!

Damian:

Damian, realising why that photo of the Wayne's and Alfred looked so romantic: my god.

Part Seventeen; Don't ask Tim about his spleen

Guys We Need More Ninjago Memes

Each of the batkids has had a moment where they once forgot that they spoke multiple languages(or even their mother tongue) in high stress situations.

--------------------

A woman: *speaking Arabic to Damian*

Damian who forgot his first language: English woman! English!

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A young girl cries out in french

Duke, who's in ~collage~ and is learning to be a ~productive and successful member of society~ is taking university level Korean and is still in that ~headspace~: swis-swis uljima

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A young boy: *speaks german*

Stephanie "I'm the best at German, Bruce said so" Brown: Est-ce que....uh....oh shite

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An old woman: *speaks Romai*

Dick: * replies in Romanian*

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A shocked person: Hel-

Jason: Do you sprechen American!

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Person: Ma mere! Óu est elle? Elle n'est pas ici!

Tim: Je m'appelle Red Robin

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Someone: *signs to Cass*

Cass: *failing computer noises*

kyle rayner if fumbling bad bitches was a job

The kids are chaotic and with no idea how they ended up in this situation Talia and Lois did a Wife Swap. Which is very entertaining as Talia canonically have beef with the Superfamily.

Alfred: Going morning Mrs. Lane, apologies that Master Bruce and the kids can not greet you right now. They are training.

Lois: What do you mean training? It's 6 AM.....

Clark: Good morning....Talia.

Talia: Good morning Kent. Though we don't get along I apologize for interrupting your training session.

Clark: Training session? It's 6 AM in the morning.

Talia: Judging by your comment I assume the children are still asleep?

Clark: Yes....because it's 6 AM.

Lois: Does everyone always argue with each other every minute?

Batfamily: We're not arguing!

Lois: Yes you are, my family tends to talk things out calmly.

Jason: We're not arguing it's called playful banter

Lois: Sure....

Jon: Why are you dressed like that?

Talia: Dressed like what?

Kon: Dressed so fancy... we're going to do farm work.

Talia: I am aware of that. This is my farm work attire. Thank you very much.

Clark, Kon and Jon: ......

Lois: Sooooo what do you and Talia do together?

Bruce: Sometimes we like to sit beside each other reading a book in silence.

Lois: ......

Bruce: .......

Lois: Oh! You're serious!

Kon: I was thinking of getting a nose piercing but mom and dads disapprove or whatever

Talia: I reccomend a nose piercing. They are really cute and I have one.

Kon: Coolll

Clark: TALIA STOP TRYING TO INFLUENCE MY CHILD

Lois to the Batfamily: I've always thought that you guys are dysfunctional but looking at it up close makes me realize you are far beyond that.