Look, Logically I Know That Telling The Demons To Go Away Will Do Nothing. Logically I Know That I Must

some good consent phrases

“May I hug you?”

“When I ask you if you want to do something, you know it’s always okay to say no, right?”

“Let me know if you get uncomfortable, okay?”

“How do you feel about (x activity)?”

(When someone’s insecure about having said no and asks if it’s okay/if you’re mad or upset they said no) “I’m disappointed to not do the thing, of course, but I’m much more glad you were willing to tell me (no/that you were uncomfortable/etc.). That’s really important to me. Thank you.”

“I’d ALWAYS rather be told no than make you feel pressured or do anything to hurt you or make you uncomfortable.”

“I care about you, so when something I do hurts you or makes you uncomfortable, I want to know, because I don’t like making you feel bad.”

“You can always change your mind, okay? The moment you wanna (stop/go home/take a break/etc), PLEASE tell me and we’ll stop right away. I won’t make a fuss, I don’t wanna keep going if you don’t want to.”

“Wanna do (x)? It’s okay if not, but I think it would be (fun/worthwhile/prudent).”

(When starting a social phone call): “Hey, are you busy right now?”

(When confirming plans made earlier): “Hey, are you still up for doing (x) at (time) on (day)?”

“Can I vent a little about (x)?”

“Can I tell you something (gross/depressing)?”

“Are you comfortable talking about it?”

“Do you think you could talk me through this problem I’ve been having? If you have the time and emotional energy of course.”

“It’s okay if that doesn’t work for you.”

“I’m interested in spending more time with you. Would you be interested in doing (x) together on (y day)?”

“No? Well let me know if you ever want to do something else.” (leave it open! don’t nag! let it go!)

“You don’t seem very interested in this. Should we skip it?”

(When someone doesn’t seem interested in something you were suggesting) “We can just (do something you both want to do) instead.” (don’t try to get them to do the thing again! let it go!)

Consent culture - it’s about way more than just sex!

Give people as much freedom as possible to make their own choices without pressure or control.

Even children deserve as much autonomy as allows them to remain safe and get their needs met - remember, you can’t train a child to make good/safe/healthy choices without ever giving them choices. A child who is taught to respect consent is a child who doesn’t assault people! A child who knows they have a right to say no is a child who knows that someone who infringes on their autonomy isn’t supposed to do that.

A consent-conscious relationship is a healthier and safer relationship, and a person who is aware of and deliberate about asking for, giving, receiving, refusing, and accepting refusals of consent is a healthier and safer person.

Loosely based off the brilliant AO3 fanfic “Too Wise to Woo Peaceably” by @feralbutfluffy

(Ack! I had FeralbutFluffy’s name backwards! Edited to fix)

Wine + Someone you’re totally crushing on + avoiding discorporation TWICE in one night= Sexy Results

@toowisetowoopeaceably

You ever just... Have that URGE to have a pen pal. Like, yes, having online friends is cool and fun and nice and all but I miss the long-form communication that comes with letters. I want someone I can write an elaborate letter to about all that has happened the last few months, only to recieve their letter a month later with all their little details of their past few months. I want the knowledge that somebody chose the paper, chose the pencil, chose the envelope, and put in all that effort just to tell me how they have been.

40,000 years ago, early humans painted hands on the wall of a cave. This morning, my baby cousin began finger painting. All of recorded history happened between these two paintings of human hands. The Nazca Lines and the Mona Lisa. The first TransAtlantic flight and the first voyage to the Moon. Humanity invented the wheel, the telescope, and the nuclear bomb. We eradicated wild poliovirus types 2 and 3. We discovered radio waves, dinosaurs, and the laws of thermodynamics. Freedom Riders crossed the South. Hippies burned their draft cards. Countless genocides, scientific advancements, migrations, and rebellions. More than a hundred billion humans lived and died between these two paintings—one on a sheet of paper, and one on the inside of a cave. At the dawn of time, ancient humans stretched out their hands. And this morning, a child reached back. 

Rocky Horror is turning 50 next month and people still act like being gay was invented by Ellen in 1997

Me while running a fever and doing many nebulizer treatments: I'm going to hang out with some friends!

My concerned mother: but you're sick??

Me while blowing my nose aggressively: My covid test is negative, it's fine

My very concerned mother: but you are really sick????

Me while shivering from the fever and having difficulty standing up: its not covid, I'm fine

My mother who is tired of my bullshit: no, you are staying here and doing another round of the nebulizer

Me while giving up and taking a nap: fine, but you have to turn off the light for me... Thanks...

weirdest side effect of the pandemic is how many people i know who get sick and say 'but my covid tests are negative so i should be fine' like you know other illnesses. exist. right.

God the prices of tvs have changed so much let me get my graph

And it was a nice yard once. A garden bed full of tulips, a lawn blanketed with small clover. A tall willow tree perfect for a child to play pretend under and make magical memories in. A cobble path winding from the door to the street. The houses on either side were just close enough that you could hear the neighborhood children laughing. Yet they are far enough that it felt like a secluded little fairy wonderland. A perfect place to settle down and raise a family.

Left to its own devices, the garden has turned brown. The small patches of crabgrass you insisted I leave be have spread all throughout the lawn. Unmaintained and uncontrolled the small patches have now grown over everything else. Each tendril of it working to suffocate the soft clover. Poking and prodding at the cobble path with ever reaching arms.

The willow tree hangs heavy with the weight of itself. Without someone there to trim it, all it can do is droop down further and further. Left alone a little longer it might have died under its own weight. So much has changed here since that day but the house... The house looks the same it did the day we bought it. The day we stood in front of it, your arm around my waist, and knew that this would be where we would raise our kids.

You deserve to be buried here my love. You deserve to wither and rot under the very same willow tree. We once imagined our future here together and I will ensure our dreams come true. I will make you a home under that willow tree. A place where you can rest soundly and watch as I raise our child.

I will rid the yard of your crabgrass. I will spare no expense in removing the evil from the very root. The blood on my hands is a necessary sacrifice for what I must do for her. Ripping up the crabgrass and replacing it with the soft sweet clover I once knew. The clover I fell in love with when I fell in love with you.

Look I love unconditional devotion love stories as much as the next person, but there's really something so deliciously raw about conditional devotion.

I have served you and I have loved you for decades, but I will not give up my principles for you. You cut out part of my heart and took it with you down that path that you insist on walking, but you walk it alone. Even when the bleeding, gaping hole you left in my chest kills me, I will not follow you.