Galactic Dick Jokes Pt. 1

tfw you’re explaining metal gear background to someone and you’re four hours in when you get to solid snake

(x).

Hence why Toph Beifong is my favorite badass character ever. Followed by Zuko of course. 😝

Unreleased footage of the Jedi Temple during Order 66

Tropes You can Pry from My Cold, Dead Hands:

Royalty/Bodyguard OTP dynamic

Tough, stoic character who is soft for one(1) person

Enemies to Friends to Lovers

“My job is to protect you!” “Well I’m gonna do the dangerous thing anyway because it’s the right thing to do. If you wanna protect me, you’ll just have to come with me.”

The Power of Friendship

Friend groups that have both a Mom Friend and a Dad Friend (even better if the two are dating/pining)

Characters that are total badasses, but also crack jokes and snark the whole fight

Self-rescuing damsels in distress

When the tough loner character that got hurt protecting the other characters pretends not to be injured

The other characters realizing the tough loner character got hurt protecting them, immediately shouting “You’re hurt!” and rushing to help them

True Love

The super nice/peaceful character that can also whoop your ass

When the super nice/peaceful character utterly DESTROYS the bad guy that hurt/scared their friends

That moment right after the Hero’s Self-Doubt Moment, when they look up at the villain, the music changes, and you KNOW the bad guy is about to get wrecked

The heroes all sitting down for a meal together, talking and laughing and being a family

Found Gamily Dynamics

When a villain is doing their villain song and they grab the hero and maneuver them through a dance

When the tomboy and the girly girl are actually besties

Awkward love confessions

OTPs being domestic

When the stoic loner character is playing with a bunch of kids, and the character that didn’t like them very much is watching from afar with a smile as they realize they’re not so bad after all

When to characters accidentally get married to each other

When an OTP accidentally confesses their love in the middle of an argument

The character that’s basically the team’s adopted mother/grandmother, and every member of the team will JACK YOU UP if you do much as talk bad about her

When two characters who are pining for each other end up dancing together at a party, and the UST is so thick you could cut it with a knife

The sunshiny optimist character who’s best friend is the grim and cynical character

The grim and cynical character who would die for the sunshiny optimist

When two characters have gotten really close together as they argued and keep glancing to the other character’s mouth because they realized how close they are and really want to kiss them

When a character is desperate to talk to their crush, but has no idea what to actually SAY once they’re together

When the emotionally constipated character waxes poetic about their crush in their head/to their friends, but can only manage to say things like “What’s up asshole” to their crush in person

When the tough stoic character just MELTS when looking at their lover/best friend

Villains who treat their subordinates like friends

When a character who’s jilted lovers and been selfish in the past goes full ride-or-die for the hero they’ve fallen in love with

Tell them how far back we go, Kenobi! 

Too far, I’m afraid.

And here I thought we were friends.

saw this on twitter everyone needs to know

Let’s go to work

ultimately, there was nothing i didn’t love about tpp. fight me

rex comes to stand next to ahsoka in front of the lines of helmets held up on spikes. regards each and every one, variation in their design amidst the ranks. he can recognize each unique scratch above visors or on scalps, see those whose coat of paint was new and spruce and those whose coat of paint was worn and flaking. he can see those who were painted a beautiful shade of sunset orange, white markings of diamonds and lines on their foreheads. he can see those who do not hold any shade of paint at all, the ivory of shinies inducted into the 332nd kept clean save for the ashes atop their plastoid. he can see those with the same shade of blue they’ve always had, forming triangles down the center of their buckets, of unique designs pertaining to the brothers he had known long ago.

his eyes drift towards the clone helmet at the center front, held up on a spike for all to see. the visor outlined by a shade of blue, the republic cog he was so famously known for painted in a gray that flakes off the edge. old, belonging to one of a vet, of one who had led the charge back on saleucami when he could not, of one who took the opportunity to do what was right and risk his life flying those umbaran fighters up to the mothership above. jesse. arc trooper jesse. gone.

( he had died in rex’s arms just hours before. had died once the ship collapsed upon the ground, crawling out of the remains in an attempt to seek vengeance once more. lodged into his stomach was a piece of durasteel. he collapsed three steps in.

rex had cradled him in his arms, sobbing pitifully as he held his brother with trembling hands, clutching to him so tight it could’ve made the pain worse. but it wouldn’t be much of a difference — jesse was dying. rex had reached over, slipped jesse’s bucket from over his head, coming face to face with the trooper he had loved like his own flesh and blood. pain contorting his face, mouth pulled into a grit of teeth, tears falling down his cheek as he gasps for air. smothered in nothing but grime and blood. 

jesse attempts to reach for his blaster, still overtaken by the chip, but rex throws it away before he has the chance. then jesse grabs at his neck, attempting to strangle him. rex latches onto it before he makes it to his throat. he grips it. tight. tight enough to break it, and his vod’ika trembles even harder. he’s shaking. crying harder.

“traitor,” jesse had whispered to him. the words are rancid, spiteful, but the look in his eyes was of nothing but pain. one that rex recognized before. it was the look he had when hardcase died, it was the look he had when kix vanished, it was the look he had after maul breached his mind and subjected him to unspeakable torture. but… it was also a look of love. a brotherly love, one that has rex’s heart-wrenching at the sight. jesse was still in there.

and in the next moment, he’s gone. )

rex stands before the lines of the troopers he’s been with for the last couple of days, or weeks, or years. stands before their burials, lined up just in the formation he had them stand in a few hours before. even in death they were just soldiers. mindless, dead soldiers.

he should have listened to fives. he should have come back for echo. he should have fought harder for dogma to be freed, listened to slick despite what he had done. he should have tried to search for kix after he disappeared, he should have kept tup with him when he had the chance, he should have said goodbye to cody before he left for mandalore. he should have saved jesse. he should have saved wolffe, or bly, or anyone. he should have saved them. instead, he stands in a sea of dead brothers, wearing the armor of a commander that he is no longer fit to be.

“rex?” ahsoka calls out to him softly, her gray robe flowing around her like the wings of a sprite, montrals sticking up from under her hood. 

it’s upon her words that rex realizes the streaks of tears that have begun to cascade down his cheek, flowing down and down until it reaches his chestplate and the dusty ground below. it’s upon her words that rex finally breaks, falling to his knees and releasing a sob from deep within his chest, the grief and anger and frustration and hopelessness finally setting in and washing over like a tidal wave. ahsoka is at his side immediately, wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her face in his shoulder pauldron, letting him sob into her embrace. rex clutches onto her robe so tight he’s afraid to let go.

and rex cries. he just cries. for how long, he doesn’t know. for what reasons, he doesn’t know. but every time he looks up again, and sees jesse’s helmet up on that stake, the tears start up again. and he cries. because that’s all he can do.

The dumbest smart guys

bonus:

well-meaning and nurturing, but angory medics