My Babies

Rain on Lilypads |  LW Lau

black sorrow

these trivial moments… might actually be precious.

missed time by Ha Jin

once, someone (he doesn't even remember who), between their unnecessarily praising speech to mori, mentioned how much his bandaged executive and him are similar. dazai was zoned out the whole speech so this small, unconsidered statement felt like a punch in the gut and suddenly he became extremely nauseous. they went on with their nonsense, mori listened with a polite smile on his face and all dazai could focus on was suppressing his urge to puke right into the speakers mouth, all over this huge room of mori's and finally on mori himself. he visualized in his head how his vomit will choke the speaker and how it'll pour from mori's hair. the smell would be awful.

later on, he stared at his distorted reflection on a puddle. a breeze lifted his coat, he smiled slightly and a few seconds later he was bent over to empty his whole stomach. he never had to vocalize it because he already knew. but how come others realize it too? he felt himself full of something sticky and poisonous, melting everything inside him and re-shaping them. he swears if he were to scratch and scrape his skin until it bleeds he'll find him there. was it always that obvious? at some nights he dreams himself on top of mori's dead body; his neck sliced open with a lancet. but deep down he knows there won't be any difference. it's too late, mori could die, disappear even; he has already injected all his venom into dazai's veins.

and dazai could see himself taking the syringe from mori's hands, just to poison another soul, just to melt them completely and destroy what they had of a person once. he knew all of these.

but still, he never got used to hear them from others.

Pandemonium by Kim Jakobsson.

and i don't necessarily believe any of this i'm just saying words recreationally

a whole bunch of gazan mutual aid projects and nonprofits. if the decision of which individual fundraiser to give to feels too daunting, or if you just want to help as many people as possible in one go, these are great initiatives to support.

care for gaza - focuses on providing food and essential supplies. donate here or here.

connecting humanity - securing internet access via donations of virtual sim cards (esims). if you can't afford a whole plan yourself, crips for esims is a communal pool that will use your donation to purchase and maintain esims

gaza soup kitchen - provides food, medical care, and classes for children. also has a gofundme

glia gaza medical support initiative - provides medical care through field clinics and tents at hospitals. donations can also be sent through their website.

ele elna elak - provides clean water, food, clothing, and shelter. they also have a gofundme

life for gaza - raising money for the gaza municipality to repair water and waste management infrastructure

taawon - partners with local civil organizations to provide food, water, medical care, shelter, and basic supplies

the sameer project - running various initiatives providing tents, medical care, and necessities. they have their own encampment project focused on sheltering families with children, sick and disabled members, or members in need of perinatal care

islamic relief worldwide's gaza emergency appeal - provides food, water, hygiene kits, medical supplies, and psychological support

baitulmaal - provides a variety of necessities, including food, water, shelter, and medical supplies

gaza mutual aid fund - distributes food, hygiene products, water, and other essential supplies, including financial support. run by @/el-shab-hussein's amazing friend Mona. updates can be found on her instagram.

hygiene kits for gaza - provides hygiene supplies including menstrual products, wipes, and toothbrushes/toothpaste

anera - provides a variety of necessities, including food, water, hygiene supplies, medicine, blankets and mattresses, and psychological care

palestine children's relief fund - provides supplies and support with a focus on children. also has an initiative for lebanon

dahnoun mutual aid - provides water, food, tents, baby supplies, financial support, and other necessities. updates can be found through their instagram

certainly this is not an exhaustive list, so please feel free to add on other projects or organizations that i didn't include. and as always, please take the time to donate if you can and share. it truly makes all the difference.