This Is My Favorite Doctor Seuss Poem 🙏🏻🙏🏻

I FUCKING SNORTED 😂😂💗👏

Dad jokes the guys from class 1A would tell xD

I feel like I turned this into a low-key roast session for some of these dudes OOPS LMFAO

Bakugo :  What do you call an angry musician flipping someone off? A song bird.

Todoroki :  RIP boiled water—you will be mist.

Tokoyami :  Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was out standing in his field.

Sato :  What do you call a toothless bear? A gummy bear!

Kaminari :  What would the Terminator be called in his retirement? The Exterminator.

Shoji  Why is cold water so insecure? Because it’s never called hot.

Koda :  I told my doctor I heard buzzing, but he said it’s just a bug going around.

Iida :  I signed up for a marathon, but how will I know if it’s the real deal or just a run through?

Mineta :  What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

Aoyama :  Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.

Sero :  I’m thinking about removing my spine. I feel like it’s only holding me back.

Kirishima : Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged. 

Midoryia :  The rotation of earth really makes my day.

Ojiro :  Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "do you know how to drive this thing?"

Bonus 

All Might : It takes guts to be an organ donor.

Aizawa :  If a child refuses to nap, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

OP this is fantastic. I demand to read these fanfictions Leo writes cause we all know he's written some downright sinful shit 😂

Random Turtle HCs

Based on the Bayverse turts, guys are 25+ SFW

-Donnie listens to 70s/80s funk jams in the lab. Anything with a groovy beat helps keep him focused on his tasks, but sometimes he subconsciously starts dancing when his favorite songs come on the speakers. Mikey caught him once, and he's never heard the end of it.

-When they were tweens Mikey got Raph into animes like Dragonball Z and Bleach. It was something they both really got excited about when the re-runs would come on tv. As they get older, both guys still watch it together for a lil brother bonding time. They're currently binging Jujustu Kaisen and One Punch Man. Donnie will sometimes watch an episode or two with them, but he never really got into it. Leo makes fun of Mikey and Raph for liking such bro-y shows, but secretly watches shojo/shonen animes like Fruits Basket or Oran Host Club. He's re-watching Inuyasha right now (for the third time). He would die of embarrassment if his brothers found out (Donnie knows).

-After seriously pulling a muscle a few years ago, Leo got really into massage therapy. He did a bunch of research on physical therapy and different massage techniques, and figured out how to marry the two ideas so he could help out when his brothers inevitably hurt themselves. Cough *Mikey* Cough.

-Speaking of which, Mikey is literally always hurting himself. He's not clumsy, he's just a wild dude who tends to overestimate the capabilities of his board. He's smacked into the side of a building more times than his brothers can count.

-Raph has a tendency to yap in the weight room. He's serious about working out, but if one of his brothers comes in to work in with him, he'll get reeeaal chatty. It's just the space he feels most comfortable and open, where his walls come down. Mikey doesn't mind, but it bugs the crap out of Leo.

-Donnie has to be dragged to the weight room to lift weights. Leo insists on it, and even gave him a perfectly tailored workout plan, but Donnie will make up every excuse to not go. He's never been able to build muscle like his brothers, and they know that, but Leo still wants him to continue strength training. Once as a teen, he was tossed over Raph's shoulder and brought in. Raph got away mostly unscathed.

-Leo writes Star trek and Battlestar Galactica fanfic. No, I will not elaborate.

-Mikey has been teaching Splinter new slang words, mostly to irritate Leo. The other night at dinner he used "no cap" in a sentence, and Leo got up and left the table. Mikey was cackling.

-Donnie swears. A lot. Raph and Mikey do too, but Don is real bad. Leo tries not to, out of respect and in the name of good manners, but if he gets heated in a videogame against Mikey, watch out.

-Mikey struggles with depression, but uses his sense of humor to cope. His jokes occasionally border on self-depreciating, which is a heads up to his brothers that he's not doing great. They take camping trips or plan fun days to help him out of the funk.

-Leo is the biggest flirt in the world. He doesn't realize he's doing it sometimes, until his victims are more blush than person and a puddle on the floor.

-Donnie is incredibly sassy. Like 1000%. He loved sitcom shows like The Golden Girls growing up, and learned how to deliver absolutely fatal comebacks with ease. He doesn't strike to kill unless he's annoyed, usually.

-Raph loves to sing. Like actually loves it. He won't sing for his brothers, but if you follow him on nights when he sneaks off, he goes to abandoned warehouses for the acoustics. Raph has a beautiful voice, with a little rasp to it, and he likes the way it echoes off the rafters. He usually sings along with 90s/2000s r&b, but sometimes will pull out some classic rock ballads. He's been singing Because of You by Ne-yo the past few nights.

-When Mikey discovers a new artist that he likes, the whole lair knows. He plays the music on full blast, going through the full discography. Donnie usually has to threaten to disconnect the wifi before he'll turn it down. His newest fixation was the Silk Sonic album.

-All the brothers' music tastes are influenced by each other. Raph listens to Rap, Leo likes R&B, Mikey's into Hip Hop, and Donnie's music is soup (there's a bit of literally everything). They all share music with each other, adding to the queue when they're in the garbage truck. The only consensus is that country sucks.

tags: @thelaundrybitch, @sophiacloud28

let me know if you'd like to be added to my tag list!

Do you take NSFW requests? 👀

Why are you asking?? You already know I do, or did the literal two fanfics of pure smut I wrote you go over your head? 🤣

Thank you! 😄

I can't wait, and maybe I'll submit a few more 😆

Turquoise droplets in an ocean of blue😄

Hmm… Reader is a sweetie pie who ALWAYS wears Turquoise. Leo has a huge crush on her. This can either be angst (Reader dies, blood all over Leo) or a fluff (Reader seeks comfort bc every happy person sheds tears too, and he figured out she was upset by feeling her tears?). Here Comes the Sun by The Beetles for the song, for sure. I really like this, I’ll probably write this too.

BNHA OC Form, Kayla

|Basic Info|

Name: Kayla Adachi

Nicknames/Aliases:Kay KK

Gender: Female

Age: 15

Birthday: 8/27

Sexuality: Bi

Height: 5'1

Weight: 114 lbs

Hair Color: Dark brown 

Eye Color: Dark brown

Skin Color: White 

Looks: Looks like your average teenage girl but if you look closely, her eyes look like liquid. Slim, flexible build. Looks more childlike. Puppy dog eyes for days

Occupation: UA student

|Relationships|

Parent(s): Both parents are normally at work so she and her siblings kinda raised themselves

Sibling(s): An older brother, a younger brother, and a younger sister

Relative(s): She isn't too close with any of them

Friend(s): Octavia, Stasi, and Destiny 

Romantic Interest(s): A kid from 1B who she watches from afar

Pet(s): A parakeet 

|Hero/Villain Details|

Hero/Villain Name: Puddler

Costume: A light orange suit with grey boots and a white oval splotch in the center

Motivations: Wants to be able to be there for her kids instead of working all day like hers

Quirk: Solid To Liquid 

Abilities: Can turn solids to liquids and vice versa 

Weaknesses: If she has to melt something and then return it back to its original state it exhausts her. When she converts too many things her body starts to feel heavier and she becomes slower

Other Abilities: Super flexible and quick. Also she can use her ability to turn fruits into liquid. 10/10 would recommend her smoothies 

|Statistics|

Power: 4/5

Speed: 4/5

Technique: 4/5

Intelligence: 3/5

Cooperativeness: 5/5

|Quote|

I'm not cute, I'm a danger to society 

Headcannon that the first time you bring a stack of paper to the lair you realize they don't have a Shredder😂😂

These are spot on 👌👌👏👏

For the purpose of fluff I was wondering what the turtles and s/s's song would be. Like every time it comes on they smile and go, "hey babe it's our song!" Thank you 😘

EZ-PZ.

Mikey: Young Dumb And Broke by Khalid ( Will ALWAYS make you dance with him when it comes on )

Raph: Cherry Pie by Warrant ( he loves the blush you give )

Leo: Naturally by Selena Gomez ( he’ll never tell you, but it reminds him lowkey )

Donnie: You Are My Sunshine by Johnny Cash ( lowkey kinda sad but he can’t help but hum the tone while y’all are cuddlin’ )

Catch me out here with happy tears 😭💗

ahem ahem, todoroki shouto has a notebook full of letters to you. he never sends them to you, but they’re love letters. one for every single day of your relationship and he gifts it to you the night of your wedding because on god he is a romantic without even knowing it 🥺

STOPPP I’m going to cry this sounds exactly like something he would do and you KNOW those letters are going to be so sappy and so full of love that it would seem false coming from anyone else but every word is completely honest and he’s not exaggerating how he feels in the slightest. The ones from early in the relationship are going to be so sweet especially the one where he says “I think I’m really falling in love with you” mmmmm yeah you’re going to be spending you’re wedding night crying hysterically over how thoughtful he is which will confuse him because all he’s doing is telling you how he feels

*Fucking dies in the McDonald’s parking lot*

alright then, time to post my retaliation. It may not be as long as yours but you best bet I’m coming for your kneecaps -_-

Devilish

Dabi x Reader

⚠️NSFW⚠️

Consider this a call out post 💕@unitato722 💕. I play to win, good luck in this war my dude.

With love

- A Hawks fucker

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Slam!

The door flew open placing a hole in the wall as Dabi kicked it open from around you, his hand tightly on your throat as he gently shoved you into his room. Before nearly pulling the door from its hinges on the wall just to close it behind him as you made yourself at home on his bed.

"That's right, on a bed where a cum slut like you belongs." A malicious grin and a lustful gaze formed on his features as he gazed at your form. His gaze landing on your chest, moving to your parted and panting lips.

"Get up." He beckoned you with his index and middle fingers, a display of sinful things you've experienced before.

"Yes Daddy." He watched you sashé over to stand before him, a wicked look in your eyes. You were trying to be funny! How cute and at a time like this? Where you had just embarrassed him in front of his comrades? No. He wasn't about to let you get away with it.

He wanted you to scream, beg and plead for his forgiveness. He wanted everyone to know what where your place was, it was under him screaming his name as he fucked you into oblivion, with tears streaming down your face as you dry came around him. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, your jaw slack as you moaned and your tits bounced from his rough thrusts.

"Open your mouth." You followed as instructed, opening your mouth not expecting for him to shove his fingers down your throat, a gag immediately escapes you. Your throat closing around his fingers, tears pricking your eyes.

"That's it. Learn your fucking place! Wrapped around my fingers, around my cock taking everything I give you!" Pulling from your mouth, saliva trailing with him, rubbing his fingers before spreading them apart watching the saliva string together while you calmed yourself. Tears pricking your eyes as your nose began to run.

Sucking his fingers clean, slowly and calculated, just how he knew you liked it. Grabbing your chin forcing his lips on yours his hand slowly sliding to hold your jaw firmly, taking his time brushing his tongue against the roof of your mouth, slow and sensual once more. His free hand slowly inching down your waist to your ass, grabbing tightly. Your hands grabbed at his shirt, palming him rubbing his chest knowing you were going to enjoy what ever his 'punishment' may be.

With one last rough palm he smacked your ass, the crack echoed throughout the room siding with your cry as you separated from his lips. A deep chuckle moved his chest as he held your neck tighter, heat engulfing your torso as you grabbed his wrist.

"Dabi? Dabi, what are you doing! Stop!" Your panic was clear on your face, your fingers wrapping around the wrist connected to the hand around your throat. "Dabi, please don't do this!" You begged as you felt the heat start to burn your sides.

"Do what Doll? Punish you? You knew what the consequences of disobedience and embarrassing me, but yet you still continue to do it." Everything about him screamed danger, somehow you still managed to find yourself turned on through the fear. Fire hot fingers skimmed your side pulling a wide open mouth moan from your throat.

"Fuck baby girl, you're singing for me so beautifully, my dick ain't even in you yet and you're crying out like this." Open mouth kisses littered your colla rbones, his hand travail beneath the waist of your pants still burning, a feeling not at all new by any means.

A sharp nip here and there as you panted in his ear the heat subsided as he neared your clit, the fingers around your throat squeezing tighter as he stopped; pulling away pushing you to the bed, roughly pulling your pants off with out care to your being.

"Alpha... Please." Alpha, referring to a kink you long ago accidentally discovered as he dicked you down in a back alley after he had been hit by a rivals quirk. He always liked feeling in control over everything, that included when you cummed and when he would make you try to suck his dick.

"You get no requests here skank, you're here to simply be my fuck toy and nothing more." An empty lie, but god if it didn't turn you on the way he said that while between your legs. His nose pressed against your pussy lips, nearly panting as he inhaled deeply, hands on your knees holding you open for his viewing pleasure. Standing suddenly his hands hooked under your knees he pulled you to the edge of the bed to the point your nearly fell from the bed. His hand move once more to your throat squeezing tightly as he leaned down to capture your lips again, holding the air in your lungs hostage in more way than one.

You could barely hear the metal of his belt clicking over the blood rushing in your ears as your wanted to desperately grind against his heavy, throbbing cock. A wanton moan pushed passed you lips when the head of his cock pressed against you, not even nothing to remove his own clothes, his leather pants rubbing against your bare thighs; tears once again pricked your eyes, without any preparation he pushed himself in, full hilt. His own eyes rolling back at the sound of your strangled moaning, running on the line of pain and pleasure. You're body couldn't keep up with the new feelings, he had never taken you so underprepared before.

The cries being pulled from your throat as he swallowed them as he thrust violently into your soft and supple core. Your velvet walls sucking him so deep as you banged against his chest. Your pained cries falling on lust and anger clouded ears. A man such as Dabi didn't care if you were in pain or not, he took what when wanted when he wanted when it came to your body and sex. He was always rough in his thrusts, always chasing his own realise like the literal selfish fuck he was.

Eventually your hands buried themselves in his black locks already tousled from the bickering outside. Pulling roughly as black spots entered your field of vision, pulling him down, a hand only your hips heating up and holding himself steady. His teeth grazing your nipple before biting down, more wanton moans escaping you as the bed started to bang against the wall.

"Fuck you should see the way you're taking me right now Doll Face. Though I'm sure you can feel it if the way you're sucking me in has any thing to show." Low grunts in your ear kept you panting as you started to slowly buck your hips to his harsh treatment. You knew there was no way you were going to sit comfortably in the morning, especially not with the way he was fucking you so good.

Sitting up he plowed himself deeper into your pussy as he removed his hand from your throat as your pussy quivered around his dick, body trembling and flinching with every deep thrust and drag. Raising his hand connecting it violently to your thigh and squeezing as you arched your back crying at the sensation.

"That's it baby girl, milk my dick like the cum dump you are. Fuck that's so hot." He watched as your expression contorted as he thrusted closer to his climax not caring about your own. His cock throbbing with every drag out of your abused pussy. His own cum spilling from around his dick, frothing as he rut against you.

Pulling out as he felt your pussy walls quiver and your body begging to shudder, "Oh no, Doll this is a punishment. Did you honestly think that I'd let you cum on my cock? Or let you cum at all?" His voice full of malicious ans mockery, "This is a punishment after all my little cum dump. Now get up, hands against the wall and I want you see you open your legs showing me that pretty pussy of yours."

Stepping away from your soaping core, his cum leaking out colouring your thighs in what he always claims to be a beautiful white. Leaning up you felt more of his heavy cum leak out as you followed instructions. A smack to your ass had you crying out, arching your back as he forced his fingers into you. His dick resting against the swell of your ass moving ever so slightly as he barely moved to hump you.

His nose grazed your neck before biting deeply, sucking on the soft skin there, his dick now moving back to your pussy, lining himself up the head of his dick sinking into you as he places his cum covered fingers on your hips slowly smearing it all the way back to the front of your cunt from behind. His fingers finding place at your clit rubbing viciously as he slammed himself back into you so violently your elbows gave out sending you to topple against the wall.

Your tongue hanging from your mouth as the head of his cock hit that special spot inside of you igniting every last one of your nerves. His grunts in your ear mixed with the wet slap of his nuts that hung from out side his pants and the devilish way he was ravishing you was enough to bring you to the edge. Pussy clenching around him as he continued to buck into you, your tits moving against the wall as a soundless scream tore it's way from you.

"You don't think you're done now do you doll?" A grunt laced with threat.

This was going to be a long night.

💗💗

As you all know mental health is a huge deal to me. These are literally just a lot of quick, practical tips to help you feel at least a little bit better/make life easier. Nothing like “wake up earlier and do yoga and drink green smoothies” because while if you can do that, it’s great, for some, it’s just unrealistic. 

1. Chances are, you’ve been sitting for a while. Stretch your arms and legs, literally, just sit there and reach up as far as you can. It’ll take 2 seconds

2. Invest in a water bottle, use it

3. Write what you need to do on sticky notes and put them where you’ll see them if you’re forgetful

4. If you’re disassociating, touch things and identify what you’re touching

5. Dry shampoo is your friend

6. So is cheap deodorant- men’s deodorant works better btw

7. And mints and gum. They’ll make you feel fresher too.

8. When was the last time you ate?

9. Write down 1 thing you’re grateful for when you’re feeling down

10. Honestly if you have depression chances are you’re always tired; sleep if you need to. Naps are great.

11. Try to do at least 1 thing a day- brushing your hair totally counts as an achievement

12. If you’re anxious/angry, count.

13. Wear what you want- And by this I mean be comfortable. If today you want to be in your pjs, or hoodie and sweatpants, go for it

14. If your hair is greasy, tie it

15. Or put a headband on, just keep it away from your face. You’ll break out.

16. Find a songs motivate you. Make a playlist.

17. Asking someone “hey do you still care about me?” is totally okay if you’re anxious/insecure

18. Try to think of your anxiety as your anxious friend

19. Following from that, use it for any disorder actually. Separate yourself from it as much as you can, you’re not your disorder.

20. If you’ve been looking at the screen for ages look outside for 10 secs.

21. It’s 100% okay to tell people “sorry, I don’t feel sociable right now so I won’t be answering texts/calls”

22. But at the same time don’t isolate yourself, text your friends/family once in  while. 

23. Open your windows and let some fresh air in

24. Light a candle, if you want

25. Switch coffee for decaffeinated tea if you can make the sacrifice

26. Change your clothes maybe?

27. If your skin looks gross wet a washcloth with some warm water and pat. It’ll help with the oiliness

28. Keep snacks nearby

29. Did you remember to take your meds today?

30. Warm water helps with digestion

31. Cold water helps waken you up

32. Studying in bed isn’t great but it’s better than not studying at all

33. Set various alarms if you have morning classes to attend to

34. If you wake up late you can still have a productive day, it’s not lost yet

35. All you really need for school is a pen and some paper, for most classes anyways

36. If you have a friend to confide in at school that’s always useful. Especially if they can take notes for you and understand when you need a mental health day.

37. Also if you trust your teachers, let them know of your mental health state, they most often will try to be accomodating

38. If you have scars, don’t be ashamed of them. People will talk, yes, but don’t force yourself to wear long sleeve tshirts and sweaters in scorching hot weather

39. Alternatively, there’s many creams that claim to make scars fade

40. Messy mindmaps are a good way to take notes in class when you’re really not feeling it

41. Get a few plants and look after them- having something so simple such as that depending on you adds to the reasons to stay here on the really bad days

42. If your hair is matted, shampoo as normal but leave in the conditioner, try combing through it now.

43. Take breaks between studying

44. Reward yourself

45. Try to keep track of your mood, either by journalling or through one of the many apps available

46. Try to always eat breakfast, even if something small

47. Practice breathing exercises

48. Try to motivate yourself, start with your favourite subject, for instance

49. Alternatively, try to create a routine and stick to it

50. Set reminders on your phone or on sticky notes as mentioned above to take any medication, drink water, stretch, eat, etc.

51. Find what helps your disorder; Try meditation, ASMR, colouring in, etc.

52. Don’t get overwhelmed, prioritise tasks and do the easiest first

I hope these have helped at least a little bit. Most importantly, remember that it’s okay not to feel productive and energetic 100% of the time and that while your mental illness may make things hard sometimes, you can still achieve amazing things. Take it one day at a time and I’m always here for advice or support if you need it.