A Good Liar

ik u guys have been waiting for part 6 but ive been busy pulling sick moves in splat 3. Might make it to a championship at this rate

I NEED to read this man getting railed so hard his slightly creepy eyes fill with tears

Yasopp: Oh hey it's my kid! Haha we should visit him!

Shanks: no.. not the time

*Time passes.*

Yasopp: Wow look my kid's doing well, I wanna see him.

Shanks: Cool

*More time passes*

Yasopp: Hey my kid is literally right there we can-

Shanks: no

My household is full of disgusting gluttonous freaks there was an entire fucking pot of asado and i only got one plate before it was all licked clean. Nothing but malice in my head for them, one day god will punish them for their sin.

You should do something with crocodile mayhapd

So true anon that sounds like me. Here.

Reptile Break for the Reptile Broken

Crocodile thing. 407 words. Crocodile is tired, no ship.

Crocodile lights a cigar and takes a big puff, sitting at his desk. Ever since he joined Cross Guild he’s been busy out of his mind, though he isn’t new to hard work. “Damn Strawhat.” He curses. “Because of that boy I have to work with the clown and Hawkeye. Buggy’s unbearable, even as a figurehead, and Hawkeye is… well I suppose there’s nothing wrong with him but he’s not good company.” He breathes out, smoke clouding around him. Even a man as competent as him needs a break right now, he’s not dumb enough to think he can work forever. “I haven’t visited the bananawani in a while now…” Crocodile couldn’t bring all of them with him, but he did manage to bring a few. They’re useful after all, keeping people in check while not having to deal with bodies. They’re also sure as hell better company than the other two men he’s allied with. It’s decided, he stands up and leaves his office to see them.

He walks into the enclosure, something he had built quickly but not recklessly. It isn’t the bananawanis’ fault he was defeated, they deserve a proper place to live. Once he’s inside and they notice the hooked man they’re trotting over to him happily. “Hey now, you’re too huge to be acting like this.” He says with a chuckle as one of them nuzzles their snout onto his cheek. It hisses happily as Crocodile strokes it, tail wagging behind it. It ends up hitting one of the others in the face and it bites it. They start to hiss angrily at each other. “Oy, don’t fight now. Save that for any suckers that are thrown in here.” The bananagators pacify, crowding around Crocodile again. “Yeah yeah I get it, you’re lonely? Sorry bout that then.” He mumbles. Purple eyes look around for the babies, he finds them. They couldn’t reach him because they were too small to get past the adults. He picks one up, it purrs and chirps. It makes him smile, but he notices there’s one missing. “Where's the other one of you?” The babies tilt their heads in confusion. Crocodile hears squeaky noises in the background. He puts the baby gator down and walks over to the sound cautiously, then he finds it.

“Squeak squeak squeak..” One of the baby gators is on a skateboard, slowly riding across the enclosure as the wheels squeak.

“What the hell…”

I liked one Zonami artwork and my entire feed is zonami what do i do

took my meds the first time again in like a month and a half and feel like this

Its a little funny/depressing seeing sugar baby fanfiction cuz it used to be the focus on getting fucked and you buying lavish dresses or whatever but i read a sugar baby fanfic drabble post that was like, in a sexy way, written like "Him giving you money and his card. Calling you doll as you buy groceries to fill up your fridge ❤️. Calling you pretty as you call him talking about your day and how you slept all you wanted waking up not stressed about rent ❤️ Buying new besheets ❤️" Like is this sexual or just your fantasy.

Hi!! Can I request a request for a Sanji fluff fic where he and the reader were exploring an island but the reader fell and his leg got broken and cut and now Sanji needs to set the bone Otherwise it will come out of the wound.? Sorry if this sounds harsh or something, but I want to see how Sanji will calm the reader down.

Here you go! Don't have much to say except sorry i took long ive been celebrating Halloween by treating myself to sleeping. Im actually hanging out with friends rn but thought i'd finish this up for you

OH MY GOD

Sanji x male reader. Platonic. 2199 words. Gore warning and broken bone obviously.

“You really are quick with things, Sanji. You bought groceries, brought them to the ship, and now you’re exploring with me.” You say to the cook as you hike up a mountain, turning to him as you walk backwards. “You even changed out of your suit super fast to go hiking! Then again with this weather you’d die of heat stroke with a suit on. Nonetheless you’re doing a lot better than me too…” You fan yourself with the collar of your shirt, it’s humid and hot. You’re starting to feel gross with all the sweat and humidity on your skin and hair, maybe you should’ve used something for this but you underestimated the weather.

“Of course I’m quick, I always need to make sure the ship is stocked for Nami-san and Robin-chan. Maybe you’re just slow.” He says a bit mockingly at the end and you grumble a bit. He’s not sweating as much as you either, and it’s not that you're wearing anything worse than his loose Hawaiian shirt and shorts, your clothes have as much and maybe even more airflow! Yet here you are, moistly uncomfortable. You’re getting a little jealous.

“You have an advantage because of your legs, not that I’m weak!” You defend your honor, “Plus I’m not doing badly eith-” unfortunately that’s interrupted as you step on a rock wrong, your ankle twisting. Sanji’s eyes widen and he reaches out to you, but it’s too late. You’re falling. You look down, your breath quick. If you’re going to survive this you need to land properly. Fate has other plans though as you move to land on your legs, you forgot this mountain isn’t straight down. One of your legs slams into a jutting rock, slashing into the flesh and snapping the bone as you scream in pain. Sanji had already hopped off of the mountain to catch you, but he isn’t falling fast enough. The sound of your scream and a snap makes him rush, having to use his airwalk to force himself down quicker. He finally spots you and grabs onto your arm, the impact on the rock had at least slowed your fall a bit. The motion hurts your shoulder but he’s able to grab your waist as well to stop it from dislocating. The problem now is that his air walk can’t support the two of you, especially when you’re both already falling.

“Shit!” He curses, trying to slow down the fall with his ability, which works but still doesn’t soften the impact enough to not hurt. The only solstice is that, because the mountain isn’t straight down, he’s able to use a few jutting rocks to slow you both down more. Eventually you both land with Sanji holding you, the impact on his feet sending vibrations through his body. He’s safe, though his feet hurt. Once the vibrations stop he collapses onto his butt with a sigh of relief, you on his lap. The snap he heard earlier pops into his mind. He looks at your body and goes pale when he notices your leg, he may be safe but you aren’t. “Fuck..!” He sets you on the ground, blood is pouring from the wound and he can see the bone peeking out.

“i..is it bad..?” Your voice is hoarse and weak as you try to sit up, which is quickly stopped by Sanji pushing you back down.

“Shut up, don’t look and just lie there.” The adrenaline is making the pain numb but he doesn’t know how long that’ll last before you end up struggling from the pain. He curses that he doesn’t have anything with him, and that he can’t bring you to Chopper in this state. He could move you quickly with his speed but the problem is your leg. At that speed, and with it unable to be tucked anywhere like an arm, it would be moving and getting worse. He slowly rips away anything that could be around the wound, “Don’t move, you’re going to mess me up.” and tries to make sure you and/or him don’t worsen it. “Ugh.” It’s gross seeing the bone almost poking out.

“how bad is i-” You try to sit up again but he shoves your upper body down.

“I said don’t move!” He barks and stands up with you laying on the ground, sighing with a hand through his hair. “I’m gonna find something to splint your leg, stay here.”

“What if a bear comes?”

“Tough luck.” He lights a cigarette, realizing maybe he was being harsh from stress. “I’ll be back quick. Promise.” Gentler now, he runs off to find a stick to splint, leaving you there. Your adrenaline is starting to wear off and you clench your jaw, hoping that it’ll somehow make more; or at least make it last til you can get to Chopper. Meanwhile Sanji is looking for a stick appropriate enough to use, trying to calm his own panic that his friend is counting on him. Once he finally finds one he runs back to see you with your eyes closed. “Shit shits shit, (Y/n)!” He crouches down next to you and pats your cheek.

“i’m awake, just tired.” You groan, your eyesight blurry from disassociation.

“Too bad, stay awake i-i can’t- if you—just-” He keeps stuttering, panicking while he tries to position the stick so it’s not making the damage worse. He needs to do this, if he messes up he could make everything worse, even disable you. This isn’t when Zoro’s injured, he’s sturdy with a higher pain tolerance than someone with CIP disease, you feel pain; and he actually cares if you feel that. “just.. relax.” It sounds like he’s trying to calm himself down too. “I’m going to try my best.” Even if he doesn’t want to, he ends up having to slightly move the bone so that it isn’t stabbing through your flesh, flinching when you slap a hand over your mouth to muffle a loud curse. He rips the cloth of his shirt to tie the stick to your leg, but he can see the way you’re panting and struggling to keep your eyes open. You’re going to bleed out and he can’t do anything else. If he bandaged the wound he’d harm the bone, and it’s not like he could sew it. “I’m going to slowly lift you up.” He whispers and puts you carefully over his shoulder. Sanji wishes there was a way to carry you better but anything else would be worse, this way he could at least hold onto you by your back and not leg. “Don’t fall asleep, please.” His voice is shaky as he starts to run.

“okay..” You’re cold, the wind is making you colder. Is it even a hot day out? You remember it was but if it was why is everything so cold. You start to shiver and get dizzy, breath shallow and rapid. He notices this and tries to keep you closer, sharing body heat even if it isn’t doing much from the wind. “thank you..” You manage to say, choking up. “for everything, for trying to save me even now. you’re a good friend and your cooking was always good.” This is how you’re going to die, your eyes tear up.

“Stop, stop talking. My cooking is good, and you’ll keep tasting it. Don’t act like you’re already dead.” The cook scolds you as he runs back to the Sunny, ignoring how cold you’re starting to get. Once you two make it to the Sunny he hops onto it, you wincing from the jolt of landing. Zoro, who was napping, immediately wakes up and sees the cook while sensing something is off. Once he sees you and your injury he scowls and stands. “Where’s Chopper?” He sighs and starts walking towards the railing of the ship quickly.

“He isn’t here yet, I’ll go get him.” Zoro says which is quickly stopped with a leg in front of him.

“Hell no, I’ll go look for him. Stay with (Y/n) before you get lost.” Sanji states, sensible enough to stop the swordsman from going on a fruitless journey.

“Lost? The only thing lost is your brain, cook.” He can't let it slide though, swordsman’s pride.

“I’m saying this shit for your own good, mosshead!”

“Hah!?”

“You’re useless with directions!”

“You’re just useless in general!”

‘guys i’m bleeding out.’ You weakly think to yourself.

“Hey I’m back!” Chopper walks onto the ship holding some bags, cheerful, which stops when he spots you looking pale. “(Y/n)!?” He drops his bags and runs over to you and Sanji, stopping the fight when the cook spots the little reindeer.

“Chopper, someone finally useful.” He still takes a jab at Zoro though, who barely contains a retort so Chopper can work. “His leg broke while we were exploring, I splinted his leg but couldn’t do anything else.” The doctor nods and takes it from here, carrying you to bring you to the medical room. Once the door is shut as he goes inside the ship Zoro’s eye trails to Sanji.

“Of course you couldn’t do anything else.”

“Can you shut up!?”

______________

Chopper finishes bandaging and treating your leg, sighing in relief when he’s done. “Don’t move too much.”

“Yeah I keep getting told that.” You look at the blood bag connected to your arm, feeling better already, when there’s a knock at the door. Chopper opens it and it’s Sanji holding a plate of food, catered to help you.

“You said he could eat, yeah?” Sanji asks the doctor and he nods. “Good.” He comes inside and looks at you, placing the plate on the nightstand next to you. “Here.” He hands another to Chopper, who missed a meal to treat you. “You too.” The reindeer brightens up.

“I’m gonna eat this outside! Call me if you need anything!” He says happily, then runs outside to eat in the Sun.

…

…

It’s awkward! You’re a guy so Sanji’s never been super nice to you, not as mean as others but not nice like this! Though you suppose you’ve never had a broken leg he had to set before. It feels weird having him be so caring with no backlash, you even started getting emotional near him earlier. You reach a hand out to grab the plate but you can’t place it on your lap properly since your leg is in a sling, it’d be uncomfortable to have to constantly twist to get a bite too. The cook sighs and grabs a chair to sit at the bed, grabbing the plate to put on his lap. Your eyes widen. “Are you going to feed me-”

“As if! I put it here so you don’t have to keep twisting, you could drop the food too.” He hands the fork to you. “You have two perfectly good arms.” That makes more sense, you grab the form and stab it into a piece of chicken.

“It’s good.”

“I know, and I told you you would taste it again.” He clutches the plate a bit tighter, remembering the words you spoke as if they were your dying ones. “So don’t thank me for ‘trying’ to save you. I did. You’re here and you’ll keep tasting this over and over.” His voice is getting shaky again, it must’ve been traumatizing having your dying friend in your arms.

“I’m sorry for stressing you out, I said those things because I didn’t want you to blame yourself if I died. I’m the one who twisted my ankle and broke my leg.” You feel guilty.

“Don’t act as if that would make me happy. I was worried, you’re always—doing things like this. You thought you were going to die and you didn’t ask for me to hurry up or get angry you were trying to soothe me. Me! Like you weren’t the one dying!” His hand goes to his head, running his fingers through his hair.

“I was plenty scared, you were soothing me too.” At that Sanji stands up, places the plate on the chair, and paces the room. He almost leaves but he wants to make sure you eat everything.

“I…” He rubs his eyes. “I’m glad you’re alive. I should’ve done a better job at setting the bone, I’m sorry.” You reach over and manage to get another bite of chicken.

“Yeah it hurt really bad, but you aren’t a miracle worker. I just hope I can walk soon, it’d suck being a liability.”

“I’m sure you will, just try not to force yourself by moving-”

‘again?’

“-and eat up.” He picks the plate up again and sits back down with it on his lap. “I’m not a doctor but I’ll keep cooking dishes for your recovery. Don’t get picky.” He takes the fork from you and stabs it into multiple parts of the dish, shoving it in your mouth as a nice combination of flavors. “If I find an empty plate I’m forcing it down your throat.” Sanji grumbles, not that he would actually do that. He just wants you to get better, hope you have a big stomach.